There's  A  Forced  Smile  On  Her  Face  When  She  Looks  At  Myles   —— 

          “   well  ,  what  can  i  say  .  .  .  if  i  were  you  ,  i'd  be  obsessed  with  me  too  .   ”   there's  a  cheeky  grin  on  her  face  now  as  she  looks  at  vivi  ,  glint  of  mischief  evident  in  her  eyes  .  truth  to  be  told  ,  camille  doesn't  do  it  on  purpose  ,  but  now  that  it  has  become  her  signature  look  ,  she's  not  complaining  about  it  either   ——   in  fact  she  kinda  thrives  with  it  .   “   why  thank  you  ,  babe  .  i  totally  needed  that  ego  boost  but  okay  ,  enough  about  me  now  .   ”   she  instantly  lights  up  at  the  mention  of  a  bedazzled  microphone  .   “   ooh  ,  a  bedazzled  microphone  for  when  you're  on  stage  sounds  really  cute  !  it's  probably  a  little  cliché  for  a  singer  though  .  how  about  a  cute  little  necklace  with  your  name  ?  or  just  your  initial  on  it  ,  you  know  ,  regina  george  style  .  either  that  or  maybe  you  can  wear  5  rings  that  spell  sweet  on  one  hand  .  that  would  be  sweet  i  think  ,  pun  absolutely  intended  .   ” 

" oh , don't flatter yourself , camcam . " she's rolling her eyes , but it's true : shes loves cami ... even if their dumb little arguments suggest otherwise . that's her bitch ! " and they're so you , like ... classic , CHIC , but somehow a little edgy at the same time ... you've done a good job building a brand for yourself . marketing genius ! " she beams , " hm ... well ... besides you ... i don't really know . maybe i should have a little necklace that you never see me without ? or , like , a bedazzled microphone for when i'm on stage . have you seen how pinkpanthress always has a purse on her when she's performing ? — something cute and memorable like that . "

𝐒𝐀𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐔𝐑𝐄          ⧽          dependent  muse  blog  for  #nepofm,  loathed  by  mai  (  she/her,  gmt+8  )

camille  addario,  portrayed  by  lily  rose  depp. intro     -     visage     -     musings     -     threads

          “   nothing's  wrong  with  being  a  little  crazy  sometimes  ,  but  seeing  a  fortune  teller  is  probably  like  the  least  crazy  thing  you  can  do  around  here  .  i  mean  ,  what's  the  worst  that  could  happen  ?  it's  not  like  the  predictions  are  real  .   ”   camille  truly  doesn't  believe  in  the  whole  being  able  to  look  into  the  future  kinda  thing  and  it  shows  .   “   you  should  still  give  it  a  try  though  .  i'd  say  you  shouldn't  trust  them  one  hundred  percent  ,  but  if  you're  into  that  sort  of  thing  ,  you  do  you  .  after  all  someone's  gotta  believe  them  ,  am  i  right  ?  that's  how  they  keep  the  business  going  .   ”

with: @nepofmstarters where: outside the fortune teller's tent @ the vday carnival

stood at the edge of the valentine's day carnival, van couldn't help feeling drawn to the flickering glow and velvety, starry pattern of the fortune teller's tent. she sighed, a mix of curiosity and apprehension as she turned to the person nearby. " y'know, back in texas, we've got our fair share of superstitions — and mixin' fate with fortune-telling feels like playin' with fire, " she drawled, southern accent adding a touch of warmth to her tone. " but i'd be lying if i said i'm not a little curious. am i crazy for thinkin' about goin' inside and lettin' those cards have a say ? or is that just askin' for bad luck ? " in her eyes, it was like telling someone your wish after blowing out the candles on a birthday cake . . . if you said it or heard it out loud, it was never going to come true. but how could she not feel some allure ? she was known to be a romanticist, after all.

          see  ,  camille  would  have  agreed  to  his  plan  in  a  heartbeat  ,  if  only  he  hadn't  mentioned  her  ex  or  implied  that  this  had  anything  to  do  with  his  return  to  new  york   .   that  was  his  first  mistake  ,  to  think  that  she  would  ever  want  to  hurt  darius   (  she  never  meant  to  ,  even  if  her  actions  sometimes  suggest  otherwise  ,  especially  with  julien  involved  .  )  and  comes  julien's  second  mistake  ,  to  think  that  she  has  some  sort  of  loyalty  towards  him   ——   what  a  fucking  joke  .  it  makes  her  want  to  laugh  ,  but  instead  she  settles  with  a  coy  smile  as  she  looks  up  at  him  .   “   oh  ,  julien  ,   ”   she  drawls  .   “   you  out  of  all  people  should've  known  better  that  i  have  no  fucking  sense  of  loyalty  .   ”   it's  self  -  deprecating  ,  but  it  also  means   '  my  loyalty  absolutely  does  not  lies  with  you  .  '   hell  ,  at  this  point  camille  is  probably  only  loyal  to  herself  and  nobody  else  .   “   i  don't  know  what  kind  of  message  you're  trying  to  send  here  ,  but  i'm  not  doing  this  shit  .  here's  what  i'm  proposing  :  just  you  and  i  ,  why  don't  we  just  stay  the  fuck  away  from  each  other  ?   ”   for  the  record  ,  this  is  not  the  first  time  she  has  said  that  to  julien  ,  but  somehow  there  is  a  hint  of  seriousness  in  her  tone  this  time  .   “   and  if  it's  true  that  darius  is  actually  back  from  hiding  ,  then  maybe  i  don't  fucking  need  you  anymore  .   ”

                    julien   has   this   …       claim   …       over   camille   .       and   it’s   wrong   .       god   ,   it’s   all   sorts   of   wrong   .       but   he   charmed   her   away   from   her   ex   once   ,   didn’t   he   ?       so   why   wouldn’t   he   think   he   could   do   it   again   ?       “   so   ,   i   hear   darius   has   emerged   from   his   …       comment   dit - on   ?       ah   ,   yes   ,   hiding   place   ,   ”       mumbles   ,   lips   ghosting   her   neck   ,   barely   touching   ,   breath   warm   on   her   skin   .       he’s   so   damn   confident   ,   so   very   sure   ,   as   fingers   tilt   her   chin   up   ,   up   to   meet   his   gaze   .       “   to   that   ,   i   propose   a   night   out   .       just   you   and   i   .       oh   ,   and   a   horde   of   paparazzi   ,   of   course   .       think   of   the   message   that’ll   send   ,   hmm   ?       it’ll   paint   such   a   vivid   picture   of   where   your   loyalties   truly   lie   .   ”       //       @salvateure

          “   i  don't  even  know  what  i  was  expecting   ——   maybe  it's  the  fact  that  it's  based  on  the  making  of  facebook  ,  which  is  kinda  interesting  ,  but  not  interesting  enough  that  you  wanna  recommend  it  to  someone  else  .  and  yeah  ,  maybe  i  did  expect  it  to  be  a  lot  better  than  that  ,  so  i  get  what  you  mean  ,   ”   she  offers  her  two  cents  ,  followed  by  a  chuckle  .   “   well  ,  nobody  that  i  know  ,  but  rowing  for  fun  doesn't  even  sound  that  abnormal  .  it's  definitely  not  something  i  would  do  for  fun  though  .  to  each  their  own  ,  right  ?  either  way  eduardo  saverin  deserved  better  .   ”

˙   ៹    movie night @ charlie's place

“  to  be  honest  ,  with  the  way  people  talk  about  this  movie  i  think  i  was  expecting  it  to  be  a  lot  better  than  that  ,  “  a  kernel  of  popcorn  is  tossed  into  her  mouth  ,  the  credits  to  the  social  network  rolling  across  the  flat  screen  that  hung  against  the  wall  of  her  living  room  .  “  well  .  .  .  let  me  not  say  that  ⸻  it’s  not  like  the  movie  was  bad  ,  i  think  the  winklevoss  twins  really  just  freak  me  the  fuck  out  ,  “  her  head  shakes  ,  “  seriously  ,  what  normal  people  do  you  know  that  row  for  fun  ?  “  ( @salvateure )

          camille  gives  the  girl  an  eye  roll  ,  albeit  playfully  .   “   oh  ,  come  on  .  it'll  be  fun  ,  i  promise  .  well  ,  yeah  ,  it  does  look  kinda  scary  for  the  first  time  but  once  you're  up  there  ?  you'll  forget  all  about  it  .  at  least  you're  coming  with  me  and  i've  been  on  a  ferris  wheel  a  ton  of  times   ——   trust  me  ,  you're  gonna  love  it  .   ”   this  time  she  offers  yejin  a  reassuring  smile  .   “   we  can  hold  hands  if  you  get  scared  .  i'll  keep  you  safe  ,  okay  ?   ”

open starter - valentine's day carnival

"i'm like not scared of heights i swear. i've just never been on a ferris wheel and so, i don't know if i'm scared yet. like, will i regret it? will i yell? will you regret coming with me? probably, but who knows! not me, not yet, at least. but that's fun right?" yejin looks up at the wheel and it's massive size and height, biting her lip, a bit scared just from looking at it. "you can say no." ( @nepofmstarters )

Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

          anyone  in  their  social  circle  would  have  known  that  camille  and  darius  go  way  back  ,  and  they  were  best  friends  before  they  were  lovers  .  maybe  that's  why  this  whole  ordeal  hurt  more  than  it's  supposed  to  be  ,  because  what's  worse  than  a  heartbreak  if  not  a  betrayal  from  someone  who  you  think  would  always  have  your  back  ?  camille  stays  quiet  at  his  question  ,  knows  well  that  she  had  been  one  of  the  reasons  for  why  he  starts  smoking  in  the  first  place  .  hands  raised  to  hug  herself  ,  as  if  trying  to  keep  herself  from  falling  apart  ,  a  reminder  that  she  would  have  to  push  through  this  conversation  no  matter  how  painful  it  would  be  .  after  all  she  doesn't  think  she  could  stand  seeing  him  around  and  not  talk  to  him  any  longer  ,  even  if  she  knows  he's  probably  sick  of  her  by  now  .  hell  ,  even  camille  knows  she's  sick  of  herself  .  how  could  she  not  ?

          she  feels  her  nails  digging  into  her  skin  at  the  thought  .  darius  has  been  nothing  but  nice  to  her   ——   he's  always  been  supportive  of  what  she  does  ,  never  seemed  to  question  her  choices  or  why  she  desperately  wanted  to  be  in  the  spotlight  when  he  himself  despises  it  .  he  never  cared  for  the  fame  and  attention  ,  and  even  when  their  relationship  wasn't  made  public  ,  he  always  made  her  feel  loved  and  seen  .  it's  not  like  they  were  unhappy  ,  and  yet  she  still  ended  up  in  another  man's  arms  ,  as  if  what  they  had  was  never  enough  to  begin  with  .  his  words  make  her  speechless  ,  feels  the  pang  of  guilt  rising  in  her  chest  .  camille  braces  herself  to  look  at  him  ,  trying  to  clear  the  lump  suddenly  caught  in  her  throat  .   “   i'm  sorry  ,   ”   she  blurts  out  ,  because  really  ,  what  else  is  she  supposed  to  say  to  that  ?

          “   i'm  sorry  ,   ”   she  repeats  ,  like  a  broken  record  .   “   i  really  am  .  i  know  i  fucked  up  so  bad  but  ,   ”   there's  a  pause  ,  a  moment  to  collect  herself  ,  and  a  sudden  realization  that  there  shouldn't  be  a  but  .   “   i'm  sorry  ,  okay  ?  that  was  so  fucking  stupid  of  me  and  i  know  saying  this  probably  wouldn't  make  a  difference  ,  but  fuck  it  ,  darius  .  it's  always  been  you  .  i've  never  loved  anyone  like  i  loved  you  .  i  mean  ,  i  still  fucking  do  ,  but  god  ,  that  doesn't  even  matter  now  ,  right  ?   ”   maybe  she  should  just  shut  the  fuck  up  .   “   you  don't  even  fucking  trust  me  anymore  .   ”

      not that there was much to prepare for, darius just didn't think they'd speak for awhile. awhile because they'd known each other for so long. he woke up one day and saw his best friend in a different light. for better or for worse. “ when do you think ?  ”   it's hard to not sound as bitter as he does. he shifts uncomfortably: leans onto the wall one second and then stands on his own weight the next. he doesn't make eye contact either. because her eyes, maybe he missed her eyes—dark brown and honey sweet. a part of him is sure she's here to remind him of what's been broken.       there is nothing like knowing someone so well. too well ? there's that prying question: did you go back to him? but it's none of his business and he bites his tongue at the thought. it's unfortunate for him that he knows her crave—the way camille rushes in for the affection, the validation. they're all with their own vices, he just never thought he'd be the one she was trading in. “  well, i didn't want to see you. ”   his family made that much clear. he knew they missed her more than they'd ever admit to him. it took them awhile to get used to her and it took them awhile to move onto the idea of her. “  how— ” he wants to say something snarky, ask her why she cares. but he knew why she cared. “  yeah. ”  darius expels a long sigh. he had practically held his breath since he saw her. then a rare, defeated, “  you hurt me, you know ? you didn't even consider me or what i was—to stay—god, cami, seeing you makes me wonder if i can ever trust anyone again. ” what he wants to say is: everyone could've wronged me but it was never supposed to be you.

closed  starter  for  wes  @frivclous setting:  someone's  house  party 

          lets  out  an  embarrassed  laugh  now  that  her  cover  has  been  blown  ,   “   okay  ,  okay  ,  you  got  me  .  i  don't  even  know  anyone  else  at  this  party  .   ”   it's  not  often  camille  crashes  into  house  parties  ,  but  she  was  feeling  a  little  reckless  tonight   ——   nobody  could  figure  her  out  until  she  meets  wes  anyways  ,  so  what  are  the  odds  ?   “   but  if  anybody  asks  ,  i  can  say  i'm  with  you  ,  right  ?   i  mean  ,  they  probably  won't  ,  but  it's  nice  to  know  i've  got  an  alibi  either  way  .   ”

          “   okay  ,  mr  .  international  popstar  ,  i  didn't  know  you  would  be  this  picky  .   ”   camille  is  just  content  that  she  gets  to  go  out  and  have  fun  right  now  ,  so  it  doesn't  matter  as  much  to  her   ——   she  couldn't  help  but  laugh  at  his  offer  ,  followed  by  an  eye  roll  .   “   seriously  ,  logan  ?  you  did  not  just  show  up  and  told  me  to  ditch  my  friend  .  that's  so  rude  .   ”   well   ,  he's  more  of  an  acquaintance  than  anything  else  ,  but  camille  would  never  pass  up  the  chance  to  have  a  good  time  .  looking  over  to  her  so  -  called  friend  ,   “   you  think  he'll  notice  if  we  end  up  ditching  his  little  party  and  starting  our  own  ?   ”

closed starter for @salvateure ! ↪ logan showed up fashionably late to 1OAK ( nightclub ) .

" y'know , when you invited me out 'cause your friend got a table at 1OAK i kinda thought we'd be in the VIP section ... " pauses for a beat , " let's ditch him . i'll get us a table — your other friends can join . "