Imagine A Bee Rn In A Hive Muttering "the Beekeeper Is Not Real Because He Is Not Intervening Or Helping

Oh, look, what's that?

That is #quality stuff

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference (“you’re just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you’re roma downey?”)

references to real life phenomenon (“i don’t wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice” “try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla”)

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude (“easy there, van damme” “so i’m girl interrupted” furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of “chucklehead” “asshat” and on the nicer/endearments end “buddy” “pal” “sunshine” etc)

an idiom (“a snowball’s chance” “if it smells like a duck…”)

slang (“drinking the koolaid” “jonesing for some hooch” not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor (“power up your batteries” “fly me back to my page on the calendar”)

a euphemism (“cloud seeding” “i’d have given you an hour alone with her first”)

sarcasm (his habit of replying “peachy” or “super” when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire “vampirate” and “werepire” debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: “it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?”)

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall his year of mutism at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

when you and the homie are trying to emote correctly but you both have autism

Warning: flashing lights/bright colors/Sonic Prime spoilers

This is the plot of Sonic Prime, right?

You were in Marketing, so tell me, do you think Jensen agreed to Atomic Heart without realizing that there would be a bit of a shit storm, or do you think he and his promo team were good with the shit storm, because bottom line, it's a worldwide game and it gave him huge publicity? I mean, even the haters blaming him for the entire war really doesn't matter, as 99% of people know that is just stupid. Also, controversy about what nationality a dev is, is not going to stop gamers from buying a game. I just can't figure if Jensen stepped into this unaware, or brilliantly chose this to widen his name appeal?

I think Jensen has far better sense of bearing on media than all the people pretending to be upset off of a well known exaggerated review that intentionally warped it.

I think Jensen is fully aware that media everywhere boils down to about one of three money sources, behind just as many proxy screens. I think Jensen is aware you guys read things funded by Russia and PIF every day, or watch shows with them, or networks funded by them every day.

It's that this is all hilarious noise of people with miscellaneous agendas, and other people reacting to them inflating their importance.

Jensen is fully aware, just like every other actor in the history of ever, he's going to work down the money pipe of one of several major influencing political forces, if not multiple or all of them at the same time, and that's just how it fucking works, and this fandom really needs to wrap their head around it.

It's xenophobia, fam. Someone saw "Russian" and went digging immediately for "dirty money." And if you dig in media enough you will always find it. This is actually more "media welfare" dogwhistling, in Russian font. breaking news, game developer uses locally available funding systems to create game, more at 11.

Jensen knew that people would react to agendas and dogwhistles and that it wouldn't matter a goddamn thing or negatively impact his career, just that narcissists would waste energy yelling about it feeling like they're doing something.

Listen, I support Ukraine, but you're a fucking goof if you think this is about Ukraine. Even if you're Ukrainian, I'm sorry. Half your fucking TV still is probably Russian funded. Stop picking and choosing things to pretend to be mad about when there's a shiny actor's face attached to fight about. If you're gonna be pissed about this shit, fix it at the root, don't attack the small developers that have the sin of Existing In A Country.

I think Jensen was happy to be a shooter bicon rebelling in silent LGBTQ undertones to lead more Russians to his content, and that everyone fucked up the developer happy to do that, and made them give away all their profits.

The game dev giving all their profits to Ukraine should have ended this. You guys aren't here for truth or social justice or even Ukraine, you guys are here to argue about shit until the horse has been beaten into glue. People WANT this studio to die for NO good reason beyond the fact that some idiot convinced them it needs to, and they will not stop beating this fucking horse until they get what they convinced themselves is right.

If you are still talking about this thinking it has any meaningful bearing, I regret to inform you, you as a person are extremely succeptible to propaganda.

ppl who are shy at first but become obnoxious and loud once theyre comfortable around you r awesoem. hold on  a sec wait pt this text ost on hold. theres pirate ship outside my window right now whath the 

Devil May Cry Timeline and Character ages

It took me a while to find articles and character dialogues that mentioned any kind of passage of time but I was able to complete a definite timeline. Contrary to what others say, the changes of game order in the official timeline for dmc5 fixed contradictions. Thanks to Patty’s birthday and the “Before the Nightmare” novel, now we have concrete ages for the Devil May Cry cast:

Dmc3 Manga- Dante/Vergil are 18 years old. Stated to be 10 yrs since Eva’s death. Vergil meets Arkham. Vergil visits Fortuna city either shortly before or after meeting Arkham & Nero is conceived.

Dmc3 - Dante and Vergil are 19 yrs old. Nero is about a year old.

Dmc1 - Dante is 28 yrs old (stated to be 20 yrs since Eva’s death). Nero is 9 years old.

Dmc Anime- Shortly before dmc2, Patty either 7 or 8 yrs old is introduced

Dmc2 - Takes place 5 years after dmc1. Dante is now 33. Patty is 8 years old. Nero is 14.

Dmc4 - Occurs 5 yrs after dmc2 as stated by Lucia in Before the Nightmare novel. Nero is 19 yrs old, Dante is 38. It matches developers’ statements of Nero being as old as Dante was in Dmc3 and Itsuno mentioning Dante was “almost” 40.

Dmc5- Occurs 5 yrs after dmc4 as mentioned by Nico in Before the Nightmare, Patty is now 18 years old. Dante & Vergil are 42 yrs old, Nero is 24.

Extra: Kyrie is stated to be one year older than Nero in dmc4’s novel. Lady in the other hand is one year younger than Dante and Vergil (gurl you looking good). No age for Trish since its unknown when Mundus created her but she is mentioned to be “very young”.

Being on tumblr is like being a raccoon. I dig through the garbage for shiny things I like. Sometimes I find good things to share with my friends. Sometimes I find something horrifying, and also share it with my friends.

Then Luke—through mechanisms beyond Din’s conception—maybe the Force allowed jedi to store items in convenient subspace cavities—pulled a live frog out of his pocket. The blue thing kicked its legs in Luke’s gloved hand and Grogu reached for it. Questions ricocheted around Din’s head in a panic. Where did he get that thing? Where was he keeping it this whole time? How is it? Still alive? did he—Magic? Jedi magic?

Yet the only question that managed to stumble out through Din’s vocoder was: “Um. Is that for Grogu?”

“Yeah, it’s for both of us,” said Luke with a small, sunny smile.

No, thought Din quietly.

“You want a snack, Grogu?”

And before Din could look away, Luke’s mouth enclosed around the frog’s small, terrified head and with sharp nod he separated its head from its body. Din sighed in horror. The baby cheered.

“This is how me and Master Yoda used to split lunch back on Dagobah,” said Luke in between the crunch of cartilage. He handed a giggling Grogu the body. “Well, if he thought I worked hard enough that day, hah. And these were more like appetizers.”

How was it still alive? Did you get this from Dagobah? We’ve been away from the ship for two days. How was it still alive? Why does it smell like boiled bantha? Why??

Grogu gulped the body down with little resistance and Luke bounced the child on his hip. “That’ll tide ‘em over until we get back to the speeders. You okay, love?”

“Sure,” said Din. “Yes.”

rats are friends, not food. i’m looking at you, corvo