Allen Is Better Than Me Because If That Many People Apologized Or Expressed Remorse For Trying To Kill

Sometimes I think about Allen’s habit of making terrible horrible deals with the devil, not asking any of the terms… but also they always come at very vulnerable times.

the first time, he’s dying and all of his comrades have been wiped out. The second, the only person in the world he loves and who loved him has just died (and he’s like 10, max). The third time, he’s just found out that his whole life’s a lie and he’s probably a construct—though to be fair, he was kind of given the terms on that one.

but I guess that is sometimes a characteristic of deals with the devil is that they come when desperate

cats being capable of understanding accidents and even giving you a little head bonk to let you know you're still cool makes it infinitely funnier that they don't understand when you're trying to help them

cats when you step on their tail: i'll admit that was rather ouchie, but given the lifetime of goodwill and trust between us, one must conclude this booboo is but a fluke.

cats when you try to get their claws unstuck from the couch covering: this nefarious bitch has never had a single honorable intention in their dishonest and shameful life, this must be one of their sinister plots or perhaps even an attempt on my life,

I can’t remember if it was in any of the extras, but I desperately want to know what mortals thought of the whole situation after Xie Lian’s third ascension.

like the heavenly emperor was overthrown. An ancient curse/plague descended upon a city and was prevented by the same god who was blamed for it the last time. The heavens soared across the sky, pursued by a giant statue of that same god.

Did they ever find out how utterly insane Jun Wu was? Did they learn about how he sabotaged the Prince who Please the Gods into becoming the god of misfortune?

The plays must have gone crazy in the few years after. Either they knew some stuff and that’s wild enough on its own, or they came up with some shit that had to be equally batshit.

allen: what’s with all this “chosen one” bullshit? Chosen by who? Why me??

allen, upon regaining his memories:

allen: son of a bitch

with the knowledge that innocence is an parasitic entity that basically eats misery, I want someone to know that I think of Crowned Clown refusing to let Allen be killed/die or be separated as a kid throwing a tantrum because someone took away their candy.

like Apocryphos is desperately trying to get this piece of candy away because “it’s not good for you!” and Crowned Crown is kicking screaming crying about losing this food.

Allen: The enemy of my enemy is my friend? No, the enemy of my enemy is also my enemy.

Allen: They are fighting over who gets to kill me, though. So it does give me time to escape.

paranormal investigator but the ghosts are the clients

big fan of characters whose first and greatest indicator of something being deeply wrong with them is how chill they are and how quickly they rebound

do I think these dgm characters would survive the wilderness (barring immortality lmao)

Allen: of course. I’m almost sure he’s had to do it before (cross *cough cough*)

Link: no? The streets sure, but the true wilderness? Probably not, unless the crows get that kind of training

Kanda: no. He’ll survive a fight, but he’s not going to be able to scavenge or he’ll eat something poisonous lmao. If the order had wilderness survival training, he probably did everything wrong on purpose

Lenalee: no. She’ll also survive a fight, but she doesn’t strike me as someone who was taught those skills. If anything, I think the order would have intentionally kept her vulnerable in that way to further prevent any running

Lavi: probably. The bookman clan has to have training for that.

Miranda: FUCK no lmao (I’m so sorry, my love)

Alistar: Nope

Timothy: no, sadly. Any education he was given on the subject went in one ear and out the other.

Cross: Yes.

Mother: Yes, she gives old woman who mysteriously survives everything vibes

Klaud: yes… even though she seems like a lady accustomed to finer things

Tiedoll: no… maybe? He seems like a prepared man.

Road: yes. She’s older than she looks, and I think she figured it out because she was bored.

Tyki: yeah, but not because of any actual skill. He survives as a comedy gag.

Sheryl: no, richboy

Apocryphos: unfortunately, yes.

the Earl/Adam: yes. That is one OLD motherfucker.

Mana (no, I’m not explaining): he’s either like Tyki or he absolutely thrives. You go looking for him, and you find him with a fully functional cabin and a garden. It’s been only two days. He didn’t make either, nor did he find them.

Neah: I feel like the answer is no.