I Think It Would Be Really Funny If Every Time Dick And Jason Joined Missions They Kind Of Failed Upwards,

Idea: TMNT x DD crossover

The idea gremlins have struck again.

These notes are fast and dirty.

Based on 90s TMNT live action films.

One night, Splinter stumbles across a boy. A blind, orphaned boy half-trained as a ninja, suffering from painful loses and all of the suffering he can hear.

His immediate reaction is "I must help this boy."

Splinter does not like the sound of this Stick fellow.

Matt gets turtle bros and a rat dad.

Foggy's blind roommate is a little weird but at least he likes pizza.

Eventually Matt and the turtles discover they are weird-chemical brothers.

I like the idea of Nightwing being a well-known figure among the hero community, but relatively unknown to the public outside of Gotham and Blüdhaven. Like, he was the first ever sidekick and a kid of one of the Justice League's founding members. Most older heroes are his aunts and uncles, the first generation of sidekicks are his friends, and to the younger ones, he is a mentor and older brother figure. The hero community loves him. But outside of that, he is just a local hero. He sticks to the shadows, and while the people of blüdhaven love him, and the people of Gotham have at least heard of him, he is not very well known.

That is until the Justice League hosts some sort of public event with a lot of younger heroes attending, and one journalist gets an idea for a fun, lighthearted story. They go around asking different heroes and sidekicks who their favorite hero is, and 80% have the same answer: Nightwing

Imagine Damian forming a plan to catch Santa Claus. He’s written a letter, accumulated some traps, and stayed up all night just just to do this. He absolutely denies believing in him BUT what if the man does exist???

Dick intercepts the letter, like the good big brother he is, gathering the forces. Tim disarms the traps, Dick and Steph both get the presents, and Jason dons a fat suit and climbs down the Wayne manor chimney (Dick owes him big time).

It’s all worth it seeing the absolute astonishment of Damian’s face when Jason starts gobbling down the milk and cookies set out (and avoids swallowing the tracker hidden inside both items) before grunting up the Chimney.

They fein all knowledge of the incident in the morning. Bruce gets an absolutely earful from Damian about “increased security on Christmas Eve.”

Imagine a world where Batman and his family never joined the Justice League but like, both Wonder Woman and Superman know him.

They mention him idly sometimes and even despite not being there (that they know of) he's become the League's cryptid. No one knows who this hero is- Gotham sticks to itself, it's a shithole but it's their shithole- or where they are or anything??

Eventually rumors start going around between the heroes. Is the bat some sort of eldritch being? They overheard the big 2 say something about shadows and undead revival?? Their secret boyfriend? They heard them talk about kids???

It comes to a slight head when during a mind-controlled Superman rampage he gets tackled by a black blur and the next time they see him he's fine?? No mind control??? What?????

"Oh, Bats was passing by and is exasperated about me getting mind controlled again."

Supes that doesn't explain as much as you think it does-

Here we are! All the turtles, yes Donnie and Leo are trans

Okay here’s all my notes and a speedpaint at the end (if I remember lol)

Donnie

trans

buffest

he helps Raph carry stuff

Severe adhd so like he knows how do a lot of stuff

very curious and always wants a reason why

hacks on a 3ds

Donnies very snarky and sassy

losest moral compass

is a programmer

can only microwave stuff

has the second biggest space in the lab

Mikey

Very flamboyant child. Like sparkly pink jacket gay

is colorblind donnie stole glasses for mikey

very intuitive

like he knows exactly what every one is feeling

falls constantly for deez nuts jokes

graphic designer makes Donnie’s programs look more stylish

He also diys furniture to make the lair look good

they all share a work space

has the third biggest space in the lab

can cook

optimistic

Leo

Mom friend

is the least buff

has an Ōdachi because he can’t aim for sh*t

training is his hobby

very clumsy

medic

why’d splinter give the sharpest weapon to the most clumsy? beats me

Autism

you have to be very specific with him. Like very specific he will push the rules to the limit

very spacey

cunning

huge nerd

wants the first bite out of everyone’s food.

which is really funny because he can’t cook

Raph

definitely gonna change

is Aprils favorite because he doesn’t complain when she dresses him up

the most elegant

has the most clothes out of all of them

Angry and stressed about the state of the world

hates plans changing

Is very sickly

second buffest

very energetic

is a morning person

is mute

everyone treats him more delicately

Spike exists and understands him.

Ralph also writes fanfiction

he’s very soft spoken

he talks to spike about his fanfiction

highly political

the most emotionally stable

never sleeps

drinks decaf

chronically on line

is a really famous fanfic writer

the handy man like fixing cars and lights are his jam

has the biggest space in the lab

can cook and mainly cooks bc his family’s picky

The joke that the bats see their contingency plans as a form of love is super fucking funny, don't get me wrong but honestly they probably do see it as that cause they just forget to say the second part out loud.

"after I've taken you down, obviously I'd find whatever made you like this and then find the cure."

They come from gotham where mind altering substances are basically everywhere. One of the most profound ways a gothamite could say 'i care about you' is admitting to having a plan to disarm/capture you in the case you go off the deep end, so that they could then get you a cure.

Unfortunately for the bats, no one else thinks like that cause what the actual fucks guys

Do you guys know how those yandere batfam giving neglected!Reader a sudden affection? Just imagine. since y/n is soo badly neglected they wouldn't recognize the affection the yan!Batfam is trying to give them like:

Dick who just pulled reader to him and hugged them tight as he could because he couldn't resist the cuteness overload he is getting from reader

And reader is resisting so much like– they're writhing, biting, kicking to escape because they think dick is chocking them

First they neglect reader? Then they kidnap reader, AND NOW THEY'RE CHOCKING ME???

And to make things worse than before, they got some balls trying to tell reader that– No, I'm not trying to manipulate you im just giving you some love.

Meh, meh, meh. U not giving me love, U just trying to suffocate me till I die.

And they're paranoid that they're going to die or get killed by the family because they can't recognize affection as they've never received such thing since they were on the manor

And of course reader had heard about it, they're not that dumb, they are just so neglected that they didn't get to figure out the meaning of it nor find out the feeling.

So they'll be like this;

dick: I love you so much because you're my baby bird, my light, my life and DON'T YOU EVER think that I will leave you someday because–

Reader who's panicking: GRAYSON IF WE'RE GOING TO DIE JUST SAY IT!! THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT FUCKING NONSENSE YOU'RE SAYING

And;

Damian: would you like to hang out, Sister?

Reader: is it my last day on earth?

Damian: No–

And;

Tim coddling reader while sleeping peacefully:

Reader who haven't blink an eye because they think Tim will stab them on their sleep:

And:

Bruce who gives reader a gift:

Reader who just stares at the box: this is it. Im going to die. There's a bomb inside this, I just fucking knew it.

Ect..

I saw a post a long time ago saying that Dick gives Talia mother's day cards just to put mean things in them. This is how I imagined the first time going:

Dick: Talia

Talia: Richard

Dick: It is Mother's day

Talia: Yes it is?

Dick: Although I don't think of as my mother and Bruce and I are going to visit my real mother's grave later. I made you a card...so here.

Talia: You made me a card?

Dick: Yes

Talia *takes the card*: Well...uh thank you Richard this very unexpected

Talia *opens the card*: Oh. There it is

Dick: Yup!!

Talia: Well....I will cherish this card

Dick: Oh I bet you will!!!

The Wayne kids aren’t mafia, but individually they’re scary enough for people to assume they are. Everyone knows Brucie Wayne is the biggest himbo ever and his kids are running everything from the shadows. It’s like…a given. Seriously have you seen his kids? Tim’s even the CEO at 18.

Dick is beloved. Everywhere he goes kids practically flock to him, but people have seen him slam one too many possible child predators into a wall with the most threatening smile for them to think he’s all sunshine and rainbows.

One time, a mother asked for his help because his daughter was missing and the police wouldn’t help. Dick made one call (to Tim or Oracle), and the child was back by the end of the day and an entire trafficking ring was taken down. When asked he simply smiled and denied any involvement but said he was over joyed that one more trafficking ring was out of their city.

Jason Todd is Crime Alley’s hero. More so than anyone else, he has directed funds to help the area he called home before being taken in by Wayne. He died, but no one actually believes that. The Wayne children’s “mafia” had him doing something under cover. And while dick is all threat with a smile, Jason is Threaten with a frown. He can send people running with just a look.

someone noticed that Jason is always strapped. Man has no less than 5 weapons and one is always a gun. He doesn’t hide it, kids always ask him question and Jason always stops to answer them if he has the time. Even shows kids a few moves if they need to defend themselves. For whatever reason people don’t connect hood to Jason, but they definitely think Jason is funding hood.

Tim is the most relatable. Certified genius and always down to help kids with homework. Sometimes he’ll camp out in a cafe for the day. Without fail his location gets leaked and by mid afternoon he’s put away his WE work to tutor any students who have walked in.

He’s always tired, always has coffee, and always gives people a smile, but he knows too much. Rumor is that nothing happens in this town without Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne knowing. One time he was taking a break at the park, scrolling through his phone when a group approached him clearly intent on kidnapping him. Before they even got close Tim was reciting their social security number, their cell phones, the names of their loved ones, and their address.

When Tim looked up it was with a tired smirk that clearly came across as a warning. He then stood, slipped a business card onto the bench, and told them if they need work to call this number and their reps will help them find something regardless of their past record.

Rumor has it the downfall of the most recent corrupt socialite was completely orchestrated by Tim.

Damian is a little gremlin that has the family wrapped around his finger. At first their were rumors of infighting between the two youngest (Tim and Damian), but then how could that be possible when at the first sign of trouble Timothy materializes out of the shadows wearing his mother’s smile that promised social and financial ruin if you so much as looked at his baby brother wrong.

Dick flat out punched a man in the face for calling Damian a terrorist. The “victim” was high society and swore up and down that their would be a law suit, but Tim took care of it with a few photos and screen shots of an affair that would have ruined the man in question.

Damian has scary dog privilege on his own, but it’s a whole new ballpark when Jason is out with him. Apparently someone tried to kidnap Damian on the way to meet up with Jason and the bats didn’t even need to be called. Jason took care of it before they even got the kid in the van.

Damian is a violent little thing. Everyone knows, even if it was never announced, that he got it from where ever he had been living before, so they always gave him a little leeway, especially since his violent tendencies were decreasing…at least physically. Damian can, will, and regularly verbally eviscerates anyone who wrongs him. It’s impressive as it is scary. This kid looks at you like he can read every insecurity you’ve ever had and is not afraid to air it to the world while also insulting you into the grave.

Individually they’re terrifying, but the reason that they’re still Gotham’s golden family is because together the goofiest fucking people you have ever seen in your life (also the endless amount of charity work they do together as a family). When all four siblings are together they always end up trending and it’s always the funniest shit you’ve ever seen.

During the first major snow when all of the streets were shut down the Wayne Boys were out in all terrain jeeps shredding it up dragging someone behind them on ski’s or a snowboard

Somehow, all four boys were spotted trekking across town covered in a rainbow of colored powder. When someone enquired they admitted to getting into a rather harmless prank war with the currently reformed Ivy and Harleen Quiznel. If asked they totally won, but the fact that no part of any of the boys was uncovered said otherwise.

Dick once asked social media to help him track down Tim because he hadn’t slept in 3 days and was not supposed to leave the house. He’d been spotted at a cafe he doesn’t usually frequent and anyone around to witness the retrieval would later say it was the cleanest covert op they’d ever witnessed from the Wayne boys. Jason was the get away driver, dick was on retrieval duty, and Damian was there to make sure their route in and out was clear (hold open the door). Tim was recorded yelling every creative non curse (because no cursing in front of Damian, Alfred said so) under the sky, struggling in the arms of Dick Grayson who was smiling bright enough to rival the sun. 3 minutes in and out. The video screen shots are still used as a meme template to this day.

Brucie Wayne gets asked about his boys in interviews a lot. There are a lot of times where he’s only finding out about their shenanigans due to the interview question, but he just smiles and says he’s happy they’re all getting along while mentally planning out how to deal with them later.

Selina becoming Batwoman: Good AU. I like it. Cool.

But there's already a Batwoman.

So when Selina and Bruce marry: Bruce becomes Catman.

The entire Batfamily rebrands.

Dick becomes Calico. The multicolored patterns remind him of the original bright Robin colors.

Kate becomes the Lioness. Bette joins her as Lionette (a play on the word Lionet, a word for a baby lion)

Cass becomes the Black Panther. No ones sure how but she gets even more stealthy.

Tim becomes the Abyssian. (Reference to the Brown Color, like the Drake suit, and how they're supposedly the smartest breed of domestic cat)

Jason becomes the Blue Tiger. It's a cryptid, and no one's sure it ever existed, much like how no one's sure how Jason came back to life. There's some mythology to it, which I think ties in to Jason having some magic.

Damian becomes Leopard. The perfect predator, an opportunistic hunter that strikes from the shadows. (Plus they look like kitties...)

Babs becomes the Catseye. She sees everything, in an almost supernatural way, to outsiders.

Duke becomes Snow Leopard. 1. It's a Leopard, signifying his love for Robin in the first place. And the bright white is similar to his bright yellow, both a juxtaposition to the Batfam (Catfam)'s darkness. It also stands out in another way. Snow Leopards live in the icy tundra, much different than the greenery and savannas of other big cats. Similar to Duke's powers being a stark contrast.

Steph becomes the Pink Panther, but still wears Purple. She pretends she thinks its pink. Just to be silly, and annoy goons.