There's A Place Just Down The Street Where They Chop Off Angel's Wings And Fry Them In Oil. You Should

Love the slight AUs where Bruce as Batman has been a member of the league for ages, but he's somehow managed to keep his assortment of children under the radar.

Because it sets up the wildest misunderstandings within the league. He routinely talks about his babies, his children who are all so sweet and kind and occasionally assholes yes but only because they are young (and traumatized) hell I don't think the league would even be aware that they're adopted. So they're all thinking literal children

Barry: Bats really loves his kids.

Hal: I mean they're babies, wait till they hit the angsty teens and I'm sure we'll be hearing the opposite

Which means the day they finally meet Nightwing they don't know wtf to think. For one thing, how old would he have been when he had this kid???? Should they be worried about that???? And for the other, that is not a baby, that is not a precious little thing.

He could break someone in half. Like a twig.

He won't, but he could. And they can see that. (He's bat trained, they have seen what the bat can do they are not fools)

And they're like, okay. Okay maybe he isn't the baby (he is). He's got younger kids right? He's never said how many, they have 0 clues. They've been expecting 1 child, maybe 2 because he'd said kid in the plural exactly once when comforting an older woman while they were searching for her children in the aftermath of a rough battle.

And then a week later they run into Red Hood. In his leather, with his guns. And he drapes himself across Batmans back with all the self confidence in the world and starts whining about the "Brat" breaking into his safe house.

To steal his dog.

And yet again. He is not baby. He is bigger than Batman. He could probably break Batman in half given the bat didn't put up a fight. But Batman looks at him with probably the softest expression they've ever seen on that mans face and tells him very earnestly that the kid just wants to spend time with his older brother, next time they should try a walk. Maybe go to the zoo.

But probably not one of the babies. They're kind, and gentle, and at least one just loves reading and Bats has been trying to encourage that!!!

And then a day later he mentions his "babies" going for a walk in the park and they all instantaneously lose their minds at the confirmation.

also did i post this one yet? i don’t think so.

Do you guys know how those yandere batfam giving neglected!Reader a sudden affection? Just imagine. since y/n is soo badly neglected they wouldn't recognize the affection the yan!Batfam is trying to give them like:

Dick who just pulled reader to him and hugged them tight as he could because he couldn't resist the cuteness overload he is getting from reader

And reader is resisting so much like– they're writhing, biting, kicking to escape because they think dick is chocking them

First they neglect reader? Then they kidnap reader, AND NOW THEY'RE CHOCKING ME???

And to make things worse than before, they got some balls trying to tell reader that– No, I'm not trying to manipulate you im just giving you some love.

Meh, meh, meh. U not giving me love, U just trying to suffocate me till I die.

And they're paranoid that they're going to die or get killed by the family because they can't recognize affection as they've never received such thing since they were on the manor

And of course reader had heard about it, they're not that dumb, they are just so neglected that they didn't get to figure out the meaning of it nor find out the feeling.

So they'll be like this;

dick: I love you so much because you're my baby bird, my light, my life and DON'T YOU EVER think that I will leave you someday because–

Reader who's panicking: GRAYSON IF WE'RE GOING TO DIE JUST SAY IT!! THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT FUCKING NONSENSE YOU'RE SAYING

And;

Damian: would you like to hang out, Sister?

Reader: is it my last day on earth?

Damian: No–

And;

Tim coddling reader while sleeping peacefully:

Reader who haven't blink an eye because they think Tim will stab them on their sleep:

And:

Bruce who gives reader a gift:

Reader who just stares at the box: this is it. Im going to die. There's a bomb inside this, I just fucking knew it.

Ect..

So...

You know how if you're (American) in another country, and find another American and all the sudden it's like 'Hey! Friend! Friend! That's my bestie!' That person could be from an entirely different state but all the sudden you're similar around the unfamiliar so you're buddies!

Does that happen with monsters?

Better yet-

Say you're a human, the only human being hired onto a large cargo ship that travels planet to planet through space. Most of the others you work with are so different in appearance and species you sometimes don't know even if some of them have eyes, or just use a form of echolocation.

Still! It's a nice job, you're given respect due to your status as (a deathworlder) a human, and you're settling in nicely the first few days.

There's a pack of aliens you haven't met yet though, The Aslai.

Huge creatures with a semi-humanoid appearance paired with patches of striped fur across varying parts of them. A maw that unhinges in three distinct separation points, fur tipped tails that vary with color, and slightly elongated limbs.

Of course, the Aslai are the engineers. They work in the sub-floor deck where the machinery and engines are stationed. Heavy creatures with prehensile tails that can lift just as much as their long, burly arms. Creatures made to be strong, and with vast intelligence, the Aslai are perfect for such jobs. Most times they flock to them, truthfully.

Like how winged and levitating aliens prefer jobs that involve them leaving the ship where they can move freely through open space with the right gear.

The first time you see one of the Aslai, they're walking with heavy boot steps to the mess hall. You both freeze in the hall though.

For you? It's got a human-ish face and you're experiencing one hell of a level of the uncanny valley effect in real time.

For Hesh, you look like a softer, mini version of the Aslai. Their tail flicks in excitement and with heavy steps they draw closer. A brighter fur pattern than their fellow Aslai, they're noticeable by anyone. They croon in a low gruff tone, reaching out and prodding at your arms, legs, cheeks, happily babbling in some method of communication you can't exactly understand.

It's when the other three Aslai suddenly appear with different fur patterns and facial structures, mimicking the first one that you seem to realize they're 'cooing' over you. Like if you saw a stray cat on the way home...

You're about to say anything when one of the botanist -a Threxacord by the looks of its mandibles- speaks sharply, "Don't you have somewhere to be, human??"

Technically it's right... You're not at your post, but you were told by your immediate boss you could go on lunch. You don't have a chance to explain that though, not when the second largest Aslai lifts you up and sets you on its shoulders.

"Don't talk to our human that way." The rough, crackley voice is a shock to anyone who hears it, but the pack of Aslai seem comfortable. You can only hand onto the horns atop it's head to keep in place as a different one continues, each on the same thought process.

"Drunum, shouldn't you be tending to your artificial soils?" It's more of a throaty growl than words, but the irritation is clear.

It's only when Drunum hisses as it retreat when the Aslai you're semi-surrounded by relax, looking over at you with bright, fanged grins. They seem to each be muttering variations of the same phrases.

"Oooh, little Aslai! Honorary Aslai!"

"Are you a meat eater too? I bet you're a meat eater-"

"You're warm blooded, that's great! So am I!"

"Look, you've got five fingers too! No claws, but that's okay!"

The pack easily brings you to the mess hall, deciding then and there you're one of them. Just a tiny version. Practically cousin species!

I was going somewhere with this

I like to think that Batman’s suit is really heavy

Like, the thing obviously Kevlar weave, with lots of armour reinforced bits, not to mention all of the gear and gadgets and tools he has on his person, I mean, anything he’s ever thought he may need, anything he’s been mid fight thinking that a particular tool would be useful, he has it somewhere, probably a few of them

And all the kids too, they’re equally equipped even if they don’t necessarily look it

So I like to imagine that some of the heroes decided they should do a costume switch for fun

The bats agreed, and the best part wasn’t them being weirded out like they thought they’d be, unmasked and all that, no, they couldn’t care less, instead everyone else is freaking out about how heavy the bats costumes are

How the hell do they do impossible feats of acrobatics wearing shit like this

Even the supers think it’s excessive, and they have super strength

The bats all take the opportunity to try some of their moves without the weight, given that they work out wearing even more weight

Turns out they can flip and jump and move in even more insane ways than anyone thought possible and everyone is more terrified than they were a few minutes ago

Everyone decides the bats are better with their gadgets

Okay so wait you guys all know that thing that teachers or parents do were they forget that they don't have to speak in like a baby voice all the time and accidentally interact with grown adults in the same manner they do with a child right? Okay so imagine that- but with Batman and the Justice League

Like-

Hal and Barry are arguing and suddenly Batman goes, “boys, thats not very nice is it?” in like a kid voice

Or Oliver is complaining about getting patched up after a fight and Batman chides, “You take the hit you gotta take the stitch baby,” 

Or Clark is mumbling something and Bats goes, “Speak up sweetheart, lets use our speech properly yeah?”

Or Diana accidentally punches a man in the face when hes already down. Batman tsks, “Come on darling, what did we talk about? One hit only.”

Or Oliver is leaving for a mission and Dinah kisses him goodbye and then he walks away, only for Batman to go, “Say bye bye!” 

AGDJFDYSGUKSRHGBDF

Just please imagine their faces for me.

And Batman grimaces lightly afterwards every time and just leaves and the League is flabbergasted

Instead of Billy being some mysterious being that no one knows is a child what if literally everyone in Fawcett knows.

like, Billy will go into an active terrorist attack and everyone will be like "Yeah okay, that's fine". he visits children's hospitals like he does as Captain Marvel but he turns back for the kids who are scared of his larger form.

When frustrated in a fight he'll throw a small fit at the villain and everyone won't call him immature or odd for it instead they go "Yeah, well he was a big meanie anyway!" and "I'd never wanna be that bully!".

After fights Billy will get taken out for milkshakes and such with the whole block drinking with him. he'll kick an officer in the knee and everyone will curse the officer out (using censored words of course, this is Fawcett, and they are with a child).

They find out he's homeless and suddenly a random black hair blue-eyed orphan kid owns the most expensive apartment in the city.

After Billy joins the league batman has a heart attack trying to figure out who he is with every member quietly doing the same.

For some reason, no one in Fawcett will tell them about his identity despite them clearly knowing it. it doesn't help that any information regarding it magically distorts after a couple of days ( Zatana had said it was a safety precaution for the Champions identity)

One day Billy invites them to Fawcett for his birthday party and theirs a giant crowd asking him to "go small" The league's confused because Captain Marvel doesn't "go small".

And then he goes small and everyone's treating the captain turning into a ten-year-old child as normal.

The league just stands there in shock as they realize that yes, Captain Marvel Is an orphan child and an entire city knew before they got any hint.

(batman cries himself to sleep that night)

I'm trying to prove a point to my brain: Reblog if you think fanfiction does not need sex to be good.

There is a trend I’ve noticed that smut fics tend to be much more popular than anything else and honestly I just want to have something to look at to remind myself and that writing doesn’t have to have sex to be worth putting out into the community.

I posted this on an aroace subreddit and what I loved is that everyone seemed to have their own interpretation of what it meant and how it applied to them.