For The Gram

Cozy Christmas ⛄️❄️

Started dancing in the mornings while I make coffee again. I’ll be alright

between the trees & flowers

channeling my inner pink pilates princess ♡

How to ask a provider for money and gifts: feminine tips

this advice is only applicable for provider men and provider men only

your 25 year old boyfriend who’s fresh out of college with a student debt on his back will probably not do these for you

your crush earning 10$ per hour working as a cashier will also not be the correct target for these

this advice works on 

1. men who really, really, REAALLLY like you and want to impress you because they view you as the prize

2. men who have the means to spend on you

first tip on asking men for money is this:

men are your mirror, 

they will mirror back the energy you give off

so if you come to a man all nervous with shifty eyes, hands clasped tightly together saying “oh i don’t know if this is asking too much but i would really like it if you got me xyz” 👉🏽👈🏽

this is a huge ick for a provider man

and he will mirror that energy right back, if you’re not confident asking for money he doesn’t feel good giving it to you

imagine you’re at a job and want to ask for a raise, will you say

“hey guys, not sure if we have the budget for this but it would be really great if i can get a 10% increase” 👉🏽👈🏽

that’s not the energy that you bring when asking for money, 

you have to be confident, straightforward, and ask for money as if it’s the most natural thing, as if you’re asking a waiter for water at a restaurant

here’s a few examples

“babe i’td make me so happy if you bought me these shoes”==> straightforward, you are talking bout your feelings and how HIS action would directly impact your happiness 

“i’d love to wear this dress for you, do you think you can get it for me” ==> you’re making this about him, you want to wear the dress FOR him, you want to represent him well and show off how good he treats you, this is an immediate ego boost for the man, 

+ asking “do you think you can get it for me” is only appropriate if you are in the early dating stage, this is being polite and not entitled but also slightly condescending because you’re questioning if he can do it/afford it, masculine men will want to prove it to you, but as you get comfortable in the relationship you should ask using the method in the  first example

remember, provider men WANT to spend money on you, it makes them feel good, masculine and capable, the only thing they expect back from you is a smile and feminine gratitude, 

“your receiving is your giving!”, aka men get a kick from taking care of their object of affection

so if you act all shy and victim-y or like you’re apologetic that he has to spend money on you, it’s a turn off for him and makes the spending not fun !

gratitude should look like this:

“thank you baby, i love how much you spoil me and take care of me”

 “i love how you show me you love me” 

this makes the man equate spending on you to an act and display of love!

“ you know me so well, you always pick exactly the thing that i want” = praising his attention to details and his dedication to pleasing you

“you’re the only man/ the only one who can do xyz”

men looove when you place them above other men, telling him he’s the only one who can do certain things for you really gets into their head, use this one carefully you don’t want him thinking that he’s the first man that spent money on you or treats you right, you strategically use this one for exceptional occasions. finally, 

how to act when a man doesn’t want to spend on you

never get mad, angry or entitled, 

that man just showed you his true colors and his intentions with you, in true “Elle Woods” fashion, tell him with the sweetest most innocent voice you can muster

“oh i’m sorry i didn’t know you were in a financial difficulty”

this line works like a charm to repel broke men, and to offend stingy men with money, 

if you have the means and you’re not spending then that equals to broke 😉  

my ask is open if you have questions on this specific topic ✨

The 7 Day #IChooseMe Challenge

The next seven days, choose YOU.

Choose yourself.

Prioritise yourself.

Take care of yourself.

If you’ve been feeling lost lately, or life has been off track - this challenge is great to bring you back on track.

It helps you have some structure in your life, while allowing you to have fun and plenty of spare time.

I am not a therapist or a doctor. Take this advice as you would from a friend.

With this challenge, you’ll feel a little more fulfilled, happier, and you’ll have a set routine.

You only have to accomplish 6 small goals a day for 7 days to finish this challenge.

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The Night Before Day 1

- Get in bed by 11:30 pm, even if you’re not tired.

- Try to finish all your work.

- Set your phone away from you.

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Day 1

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day with a 10 minute stretch. Do this before you eat.

- Read 2 news articles.

- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for today.

- Eat at least 1 fruit of your choice.

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Day 2

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day with a 6 minute, deep breathing meditation. Sit cross legged as you face south east, close your eyes and focus on breathing deeply.

- choose a healthy option for lunch. Salads, soups, healthy wraps, a light rice bowl - eat something with lots of nutrients.

- Compliment someone at work/ school today!

- Clean your room.

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Day 3

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day by telling yourself any 3 affirmations. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak out loud. This could be something like …”Today is going to be a good day. I’m capable of accomplishing and handling everything sent my way. I am a positive, healthy person and I genuinely love the person I am, or I am becoming.”

- Drink 2 litres of water today. Add a piece of lemon or mint if that helps!

- Read 5 pages of any book of your choice. If you don’t like reading, then listen to this podcast (start at 1 minute to skip the intro)

- write down a list of qualities you think you need to work on. It could be things like being on time, working on your anger, etc.

____________________________________________

Day 4

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day with a lymphatic drainage massage! This is a 10 minute video.

- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for today.

- Do a 20 minute workout.

- Change your bedsheets and covers. If you have some lavender mist lying around, spray it under your pillow for a good night’s rest.

_______________________________

Day 5

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day with a 6 minute, deep breathing meditation. Sit cross legged as you face south east, close your eyes and focus on breathing deeply.

- Eat a fruit of your choice.

- Read 2 news articles.

- Drink 2 litres of water today. Add a piece of lemon or mint if that helps!

____________________________________________

Day 6

- wake up at 7 am or 2.5 hours before work/ school.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Start your day with a 10 minute stretch. Do this before you eat.

- Write down 3 things you’re grateful for.

- Tell yourself any 3 affirmations. Look at yourself in the mirror and speak out loud. This could be something like …”today is going to be a good day. I’m capable of accomplishing and handling everything sent my way. I am a positive, healthy person and I genuinely love the person I am, or I am becoming.”

- Call up your mum, family member, friends and have a chat with them. Find out how they’re doing.

____________________________________________

Day 7

- Sleep in till 9 am today if you like! But if you have work or school, get up at 7 am / 2.5 hours before you have to go.

- Make a to-do list for the day. Groceries, laundry, assignments due, appointments - make it a habit to note it down around 20 minutes after you wake up.

- Put on a face mask of your choice.

- Eat a healthy, filling breakfast. If you can’t eat in the mornings, then have a glass or two of water.

- If you can step outside, go for a 30 minute walk. If you’re unable to, then do some stretching at home.

- Write down how you felt this whole week. Did you feel better? Was there some structure in your life?

Tips for the classy, elegant, girly girls 💗

Beauty

The key to looking classy : glowing and dewy skin, red lips and rosy cheeks and nice hair.

Invest in quality hair products (Kérastase, Olaplex, etc.) Shiny, healthy looking hair makes all the difference.

More skin care, less makeup.

Natural hair masks with eggs, plain greek yogurt and apple cider vinegar. I know it sounds weird but trust me, it works.

Contour your face with spray tan.

Wear lip liner every day to define and color your lips.

I realized heavy makeup rarely looks good in the sun. Stick to mascara, concealer under your eyes and blush. Keep it simple!!! Your natural face is beautiful!!

Hygiene

Moisturize your hands multiple times a day to have soft hands.

Buy products with natural ingredients. Yes, the Miss Dior body lotion smells good and the Chanel « Le Sublimage » serum looks beautiful on your skin, but the ingredients are all very bad. Full of endocrine disruptors, carcinogenic ingredients and more... Keep these products for special occasions. Stick to natural products for the day-to-day. Your body will thank me!

Vanilla and floral scents are a go-to. The Glossier perfume, Candy by Prada, Gabrielle by Chanel and Miss Dior by Dior are very sweet and feminine and not too agressive.

Get your nails done. Keep them short. I usually go for French tips or a neutral color (light pink, beige or navy blue).

Always have gum with you.

Drink a lot of water!

Fashion

Find our what your color palette is and dress accordingly.

Opt for classic pieces like white polos, cardigans, basic white or grey t-shirts, white button-down shirts, cute skirts, white dresses, well-fitted jeans (not ripped or faded).

Ditch your white Airforces. Wear loafers or basic flats instead. I personally like Vejas when I'm wearing a casual outfit. Not only do they look better but they're also way better for the environment than Nike.

Casual does not mean sloppy. I do not wear leggings or sweat pants in public (except when at the gym of course). If you don't feel like making an effort : linen/cachemire lounge wear flare pants or a basic white dress.

I realized designer bags or clothes that have really big logos on them look tacky. I got a white YSL Loulou bag but basically never wear it because of how tacky it looks.

Small habits that made a difference

Having your hair done every day. Please.

Do not wear hairbands on your wrists.

No holes or stains on your clothes.

Wrinkly clothes are an abomination. Please steam them or have them dry-cleaned.

Have good posture at all times. Pretend someone is always looking at you.

Expand your vocabulary and stop cursing.

Watch YouTube videos on etiquette to refine your manners.

Braid your hair before bed. It makes your hair grow so much longer for some reason.

Have signature jewelry. For instance, every day I wear a set of small golden hoops earring with diamonds and a matching gold/ruby pendant that were gifted to me.

That's it!

A girls world💖