Wooooooooooooooooooooooow

"You survive this and in some terrible way, which I suppose no one can ever describe, you are compelled, you are corralled, you are bullwhipped into dealing with whatever it is that hurt you. And what is crucial here is that if it hurt you, that is not what’s important. Everybody’s hurt. What is important, what corrals you, what bullwhips you, what drives you, torments you, is that you must find some way of using this to connect you with everyone else alive. This is all you have to do it with. You must understand that your pain is trivial except insofar as you can use it to connect with other people’s pain; and insofar as you can do that with your pain, you can be released from it, and then hopefully it works the other way around too; insofar as I can tell you what it is to suffer, perhaps I can help you to suffer less."

- James Baldwin, The Artist's Struggle for Integrity

(teenagers are so fucking wild and change so much in such a short period of time sometimes

and in some universe sirius probably dropped harry off at the platform a whole head shorter with a cracking voice and awkward limbs and bony shoulders and then picked him up in december to see a completely different kid, who now sounded like James and LOOKED more like the James Sirius remembered and teared up for no reason at all.

--

Sirius wrapped his arms around Harry, realizing that this time he wasnt able to rest his chin ontop of his godsons head. He had to adjust his arms, and was caught off guard by the sheer force of Harrys embrace. Less limbs and knobby elbows; more muscle and confidence in his movements. Harry stood differently now too, less hunched over. Prouder, perhaps.

Sirius pulled away unable to form a sentence, settling for looking at Harry and the way round glasses were no longer too big for his face and the way his sideburns were growing out. The traces of peach fuzz on his chin. He could feel the tears prick the back of his eyes.

"Did Moony confund you or something? Did you try to limit his coffee intake again?" Harry asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"Hm?"

"Why are you being so weird?"

"Just missed you, kid." Sirius said, bending to take Harrys trunk but Harry stopped him.

"I've got it, I'm not sure I trust you to carry anything right now with your fuzzy brain--" Harry turned to Remus with a cheeky grin, "I think we should take our chances and have you drive."

"Oi! I am perfectly fine," Sirius said throwing an arm around Harrys shoulder and jostling him. "Did they add a class on "sassing your godfather" to the curriculum?"

"Yes, actually, Harrys got top marks," Remus teased, but caught Sirius's eyes around Harrys head. Remus and Harry were nearly each others heights.

"And in Defense too," Harry chimed in, looking at Sirius, "Did you get my last essay? I sent it to you, I even did better than Hermione. Can you carry this for me? I might've changed my mind."

And there it was.

The other half of the equation. A deeper voice that asked if Sirius still put his good marks on the board in the kitchen. Still checking to make sure Sirius was proud of him, and wrote every week, and called on the mirror on Wednesdays. Still wanted Sirius to take his trunk, and drive them back to Number 12.

Still his baby.

Just taller.)

there were times where i went down the rabbit hole of hating chemistry because i couldnt understand it or not being able to understand it because i hated it so fucking much!

the bottom line is i hate chemistry too!

I fucking hate chemistry.

Do you have any fic recs for maybe the best Sirius portrayals you've come across? Thanks!

ahhhhhhh

okay well, im obviously biased, and i love my own fics, the end.

but, if you don't want to read my nonsense, here are some of my favs:

-the son and heir of nothing in particular by @steelycunt (aeridi0nis on AO3) as well as on the issue of fever and delight and in lieu of beaujolais.

as you can see, i'm particularly fond of their writing and despite loving to be mean to Sirius (in the best sort of way, he is our barbie doll that gets chewed on sometimes, shaken like a rag doll), always do a phenomenal job of capturing his demons and the vibe. there's a particular line in OTIOFAD where sirius is there trying to apologize, and he, like, can't figure out how to slouch enough to do so, and it just hits right where it should. yes.

-the shape and sound of god by @dykefever (dykesiriusblack on AO3).

this is a fleabag AU, and Sirius is the star of the show. I am in love with this sad, sad, depiction of him. What I love a lot about sirius is how raw he is, like literally an open wound walking around and he pulls people into it, but he's always honest about that too. and is just like trying trying trying to be better, but the wound is just festering and. this. also, if you're in the mood for more dykefever, i highly recommend (in my room) i want you here

sweater weather by lumosinlove; look, i am a cult member too. i am nothing but a cult member. (i'm not tagging because I'm sure they get tagged 80x every day, yall know where to go)

Beneath a Big Blue Sky by @eyra; also a cult member for this one, i can't help it. There's something so delightful about sirius in this. and understanding. our sweet silly boy. everyone's comfort fic is also my comfort fic.

Boys Don't Cry by @blitheringmcgonagall (YouBlitheringIdiot on AO3);

i don't tend to read about the Prank because it makes me feel too much and drives me insane but THIS ONE. THIS ONE. yes. will read. and Sirius's characterization in this is top tier.

Drifters by twentysevensummers; the insane times i have read this single chapter.

At the Healing Edge of Broken by @heartofspells

OKAY LOOK I HAD TO COME BACK AND EDIT THIS POST. so fair warning (and i told tumblr user heartofspells this when i was reading as well), i had to do some skimming with some of the subject matter in this fic. BUT that does not erase the fact i LOVED this sirius. i loved how sweet he was with harry. i loved his humor. i loved his arrogance and forced vulnerability. I binged this and then went straight to the authors DM's to scream so. yeah. whoops.

(please let the record show i dont generally make rec lists because I'm always afraid someones going to be sad they weren't on it. but here are some of my favs that i find myself returning to.)

just lOOk at tHeSe tWo!!!

i feel like remus and sirius would look like this in a car on a trip with james driving and lily literally just shaking her head....ayee:))

BRUH -

where were you all this timeee???! we are practically soulmates-

hey i'm lina, i'm 17 and i draw shitty things

she/her

bi

english isn't my first language so forgive me for the mistakes i will make🙏🏻 gonna try my best

you can find me:

on twitter @/xoktyabrskaya (shitposting on russian lol)

on Instagram @/xodeadlina (my art acc)

some information about my fandoms from my carrd <3

i hate nate! I FUCKING HATE NATE!!! i dont i have it in me to ever EVER sympathize with him!!!! he is a fucking asshole and i dont know what this makes me but i would love it LOVE IT if fez beat him up again!!

also the audacity????! THE FUCKING AUDACITY to say sorry after THAT?????? maddie babe baby oh my god i just wanna hug you!!! its just so fucked up!!

fuck you nate!

also cassie, what the fuck?!

All I want is to be in a queer coded chaotically unhinged group of friends reading poetry in a cave in the middle of the night. Is that too much to ask?

“Honestly, I’m having a proper full-on GAY PANIC.”

- Nick Nelson, Heartstopper by @aliceoseman

Here’s my celebratory take on these beloved besties. I AM SO READY FOR THIS SHOW TO AIR TOMORROW! 🥰

another art block means another wolfstar