Scavenger-art - ~Welcome To Hell Bois~

2008: wow I was so stupid last year

2009: wow I was so stupid last year

2010: wow I was so stupid last year

2011: wow I was so stupid last year

2012: wow I was so stupid last year

2013: wow I was so stupid last year

2014: wow I was so stupid last year

2015: wow I was so stupid last year

2016: wow I was so stupid last year

2017: wow I was so stupid last year

2018: wow I was so stupid last year

to be continued

The Emperor's timeline

or: im so normal about this illithid. wait, no come back-

balduran is fucking around and comes back with a shitton of gold. builds a gate for the port. that becomes baldur's gate

balduran leaves for another expedition. shipwrecks on the way back

werewolf island

goes to moonrise towers because the bitch is obsessed with fame and fortune. a true adventurer

gets caught by a fucking illithid colony and infected.

spends 10 years under the control of the elder brain there

ansur shows up and saves him with the power of bronze dragon dick love and friendship

ansur tries to find a cure no matter what. balduran is an anomaly, having kept the memories and personality of who he was prior to the infection, something that just. does not happen. ever.

balduran is like. fine. with being an illithid. ansur isnt.

ansur decides to mercy kill balduran in his sleep. balduran kills ansur in self defence

balduran makes a life in baldur's gate, and basically since he HAS to eat brains in order to survive, he "eats criminals' brains"

i think thats how he got involved with the knights of the shield, a neutral to lawful evil organisation that controls the interests of rich and powerful people

stelmane, a devil worshipper of Gargauth's cult (aka an archdevil turned deity of evil, corruption, trickery, greed and envy) was leading the knights of the shield. that was before he started controlling her

balduran, as an illithid would, developped a weird sort of. pet fondness for his thrall. which makes honestly that whole thing so pathetic. but she was an evil devil worshipping politician so it was a girlboss move of them actually-

balduran gets captured by gortash sometime during gortash's rise to power / setting up of the absolute plan. i think it's around when stelmane started getting worse - a note in an aide's journal marks that she got worse when the "strange visitor stopped coming to see her"

balduran is now under the control of the elder brain again. who is so so so pissed at the Chosen.

the Absolute Nether Brain sends dreams of the Astral Prism to the Chosen, so they get worried about it and want to send someone to find it (hence the cultists on the ship)

the Nether Brain sends him specifically to the strike team on the nautiloid

the Chosen also make a deal with Sharr about helping them retrieve the Astral Prism. sharr double crosses them. that's how shadowheart gets on that thing

that nautiloid is the one the game starts on, escaping from the githyanki after stealing the prism

balduran/the emperor sees an opportunity for freedom and just fucking hides inside the Prism

You also have these baby teenage mutant ninja turtles to protect you.

Have this real shitty sketch I did a couple weeks ago.

this  is art

I finally finished the quest with Ansur and I’m so surprised that people say “well that was the moment when I knew I will turn against the Emperor!”

Excuse me but to me Ansur seemed to be a phenomenal asshole not even to Balduran (which was of course he was as most lawful goods eventually do in my opinion, and that’s why I don’t like this alignment ) ,but to Tav!

Spoilers ahead.

He literally treats Tav like dirt. He immediately takes over Tav’a body, in a very rude way, he ignores Tav’a resistance, he literally discards Tav’a free will and agency because he’s too busy with his anger and revenge.

While Tav came to ask for help. In the hardest of time for BG that Ansur swore to protect.

Tav completes the trials, proves to be worthy, and Ansur just throws them around as a puppet and then attacks them because they came along with the Emperor.

I know they are a Zombie Wyrm, but don’t they say that even if their body is dead, their soul is still unbeaten? And so what? Their soul once again decides just to kill someone who doesn’t seem “good enough” or is under a “wrong influence”?

I mean, he can clearly see that Tav still has free will and they are NOT enthralled when he literally rips into Tav’a mind and possesses his body. And they can also see that Tav’a intentions were genuine. They didn’t mean to harm Ansur or to use him for evil. And what does Tav get?

An assault on their conscience and then an attack without even trying to talk. Maybe persuade Tav that the Emperor is a bad ally. “Dear Ansur” doesn’t even consider Tav worthy of a conversation before trying to kill them.

And I must believe he was on the right when he tried to mercy kill Emperor in his sleep?

No way. This game has taught me that things often are not what they seem and not what we are taught to believe they were.

There’s a not you can find that Ansur was Balduran’s friend and he swore to protect the city until a horrible treason happened.

Well I think the horrible treason was trying to kill your dearest friend in his sleep even though he clearly kept his conscience and asked you to leave and be happy anywhere else if you can’t accept this new form.

Ansur could have at least turn it into a fair duel.

Nothing will convince me trying to mercy kill someone you love in their sleep is anything but a horrible treason. But anyhow, even if Ansur was really as good as everyone believes him to be, and Balduran was not wrong about him (which might be true, I hope it's true), after his death his anger completely took over his soul. And he lost himself it to it. Ironically, he's much less of who he was and what he cared for, than Emperor who's an Illithid for a very long time. Because Emperor still genuinely cares for Baldur's Gate and wants to protect it. While all Ansur wants is revenge for someone who literally didn't want to be slaughtered. And he's completely fine with killing a total stranger who came seeking help and actually proved to be a worthy hero. What a heart of gold he has, oh my oh my.

8 out of 10 fights in the Oshun Oxtra are Joxter’s fault, but he doesn’t mean it most of the time.

I literally started crying

I DON’T THINK YOU CAN SAVE GIFS ON THE TWITTER APP SO THIS IS A VIDEO BUT OMG?????? THEY’RE HOLDING PAWS IM FREAKING OUT

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed