I Have A Pimple Behind My Ear And It Hurts

hey does anyone wanna do the funniest thing ever

grinch and onceler french-kissing passionately

scch :)

(uwu a great find)

—-

….gl-n-h-hd.

thats literally it..

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

House in 2024

House: faggot

Foreman: I.. don't think you should be saying that

Chase: arh naur I theenk he carn archally. Ave you seenim with Wilson?

Cameron: I think it's a little rude to speculate about someone's sexuality while they're in the room

House: oh no no, let Chase continue. I wanna know when he'll start describing how I take in in the ass-

*house realizes something*

House: WE HAVE TO CHECK THE PATIENTS ASS

when gerard way sings "the broken, the beaten, and the damned" and when kermit the frog sings "the lovers, the dreamers, and me" they're talking about the same people btw

Nothing reassures me that my boyfriend loves me more than when he wants me there while he's in full Lizard Mode - sleepy, already asleep, headache, sick, anything that's got your brain running on skeleton crew, wholly focused on survival and comfort. Nothing matters except being in a dark, quiet place, horizontal, and comfy. Communicating in eepy grumbles. Expressing distaste that I am not cuddled up to him. Letting me know when he wants to be the little spoon. He doesn't have the processing power for contemplating people pleasing, he just wants me there because having me there is genuinely preferable to not having me there.

Poor man functioning on one brain cell and he'll use it to grab my ass just to make sure that it's still there.

i lied i'd like to add pregnant man seymoure to the list actually

happy birthday to me and bethany rage and no one else

would you?

oooo peenie brot me souuup