When Gerard Way Sings "the Broken, The Beaten, And The Damned" And When Kermit The Frog Sings "the Lovers,

thought autocomplete would take me to outlook dot com not realising id forgotten the T before i pressed enter. However was very much pleased at what it took me to instead. I think I don't want to see my emails now. I think I will stay with the oul.

a professor told his class “consciousness doesnt exist. there are only neurons”

a student stood up “would you eat a raw egg and then drink oil and vinegar?”

“no” the professor replied.

“would you eat mayonnaise? perhaps on a sandwich or with some fries”

“of course” the professor replied, unsure of the purpose of this inquiry.

“mayonnaise is made from these very things and yet when combined, new properties arise.”

the professor was astounded. “what is your name?” he demanded

“shadow the hedgehog” said the student

i'm blogging with my penis tonight

@spextronaut

this could be us

i was watching this episode w my younger sibling and we both laughed so hard we almost cried the entire fucking time ify's feet were magnified

thats fucking peak comedy to me

amazing

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

THEY TOOK MY MINECRAFT AND MADE ALL THE BLOCKS HAVE SEX TEXTURES. CAN'T BELIEVE MY LIFE

@spextronaut

eat him out wednesday or whatever. i've stopped keeping track