TianShan: Sex Gods

he tian: just be yourself! say something nice

mo guan shan: which one? i cant do both.

he tian: if my crush disagrees with me, i will immediately change my views. i have no principles.

mo guan shan: well, maybe you should have principles.

he tian: you're absolutely right. maybe i should.

we all know that little mo has a praise kink, right?? he tian knows for sure, because apparently he also has a kink on mo's praise kink.

mo guan shan: i have a headache.

he tian: i have a backache.

mo guan shan: i'll rub your back.

he tian: i'll give you head.

mo guan shan: what?

he tian: what?

jian yi: someone's trying to kill me, it could be anyone!

zhan zheng xi, concerned: do you have any suspects?

jian yi: no, it could be anyone!

zhan zheng xi: i mean not necessarily, it’d just have to be someone you pissed off.

mo guan shan & he tian: no, no, jian is right, it could be anyone.

jian yi: lol guess what

mo guan shan: bitch with the way you live i have no fucking idea

mo guan shan: go get some sleep, you're as pale as a vampire.

he tian: well, if i'm a vampire, i need to suck you off to fortify-

sometimes guan shan wants to shove a tube of toothpaste up tian's ass. sometimes he actually tries. sometimes all of them, proponents of the «normal way of squeezing toothpaste», get together and complain about «these assholes» who «don't know how to use their hands». life is hard, he tian, jian yi and qiu ge are idiots.

and she li is... as usual, insane.

he cheng: do you like my brother?

mo guan shan: no.

he cheng: his personality?

mo guan shan: i hate it.

he cheng: then why are you with him?

mo guan shan: i love him. can't do anything with that, unfortunately.

he cheng: same, bro... same...

i understand your anticipation, but I'm almost sure that in the next chapter they won't pierce mo guan shan's ear because they don't have an earring. they could have gone to the store, but redhead's in such a terrible state right now... he tian simply won't let him go.