Jian Yi: What If We Call Our Band «this Band», So Every Time Someone Asks “are You Listening To This

they don't have enough money for pants in size, it's so sad :( two poor little meow meows

the owner actually showed up😳

sometimes guan shan wants to shove a tube of toothpaste up tian's ass. sometimes he actually tries. sometimes all of them, proponents of the «normal way of squeezing toothpaste», get together and complain about «these assholes» who «don't know how to use their hands». life is hard, he tian, jian yi and qiu ge are idiots.

and she li is... as usual, insane.

he cheng is a frequent guest at the police station, huh.

this is either because of work, or because he tian really often gets stuck there.

mo guan shan: i don't have a petname for he tian, that's stupid.

jian yi: oh really? what do bees make?

mo: honey.

jian yi:

mo: did you really think that'd work?

jian yi: yeah.

mo guan shan: dumbass.

he tian, popping out of nowhere: yeah, baby?

You want Venom to be rated r so he can graphically kill people on screen, I want Venom to be rated r so he and Eddie can fuck. We are not the same

he tian: excuse me everyone, SEX! now that i have your attention...

mo guan shan: you don't have our attention.

he tian: MONEY!

mo guan shan: i'm listening.

jian yi: you had me at sex.

he tian: pervert.

zhan zheng xi: you have our attention just by screaming anything.

he tian: good to know. AAAAAAAAAAA

i still hope that one day there'll be a 19 days podfic

*he tian and mo guan shan snuglled up in bed*

he tian: *beams*

mo: what are you smiling at?

he tian: imagine, i wake up, and my husband turns out to be a man from my dreams!

mo guan shan, chuckling: you're disgusting. *kisses he tian*

YYYYYEEEEEEEEEES WE ARE GETTING AN UPDATE TOMORROW!!!