Being A Girl Is Like I'm Gonna Kill Myself

James: *admiring lily* I'd pay her to slap me

The rest of the marauders: We would too.

I am not dating until a boy loves me the way James loved Lily

Sirius: Am i right, Remus?

Remus: Almost certainly not, but to be fair I wasn't listening.

James: You can say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ all you want and kids will never repeat it but you say ‘ass-faced motherfucker’ ONE TIME-

Lily: JAMES

Regulus: why are you on top of the fridge

James: I CAN STAND WHEREVER I WANT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH

Regulus: where is the spider ?

James: ᵘⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗᵃᵇˡᵉ

glad i did

looking at old photos of myself thinking not only is that girl dead but i killed her

*sirius and remus texting*

Remus : I lob you

Sirius : i 👂 you too ;)

Sirius: get it ?

Sirius: im so funnt

*you have been blocked*

*in tune of baby shark* fuck my li li li li li li life fuck my li li li li li li life fuck my li li li li li li life fuck my life

I switch between 'I don't give a f*ck about what anyone thinks' to 'oh lord, they're gonna think im so stupid and dumb' in one second

James: Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit.

Peter: Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Sirius: Philosophy is wondering whether that makes ketchup a smoothie.

Remus: Common sense is knowing that ketchup isn't a freaking smoothie.

Lily: And we were talking about how to make a cake-