I’m Literally Jumping For Joy I Js Finished Reading Your Sero!roommate Headcanons And The Lil Blurb

Hey! I love your writing and was hoping if you could do sero having a crush on a fem reader with a bakugou like personality? Like she shows she's not interested and couldn't care less about his flirtatious remarks, but he sees right through her and just keeps going, not caring about her attitude, eventually winning her over

★ — sero x gf with bakugou like personality!!

sero hanta x fem! reader // headcanons

doesn’t care about your attitude and hot headedness at all he’s still being annoying and flirting with u all he can

teases you just because he thinks you’re cute when mad, does he want to die? idk 🙁

y’all aren’t even dating yet hello

yet he’s still acting like you are

“hi pretty ;)”

“shut up.”

winks at you if he catches you looking at him in class (this man is so fine 🙁)

always leaning on your shoulder or even head if you’re short. and your always pushing him off.

was way too nervous to straight up tell you he wanted you to be his gf so instead he kept hinting and flirting at u so you’d eventually WANT to date him 😭

and you did 🤷‍♀️

you asked him out at lunch and you were actually blushing and looked nervous which was such a surprise

wow!!! he finds out he prefers u flustered more than pissed off 😻

when you date he’s still the same of course

‘ooh you wanna kiss me so bad’ bf n angry flustered gf !! ong fr 🥶🙏🏽

tells people that you’re actually really nice but ppl don’t believe him.

like you are.. but.. kinda only to him and some of you’re friends.

likes that no guys hit on you because you’ll just end up cussing them out

now he won’t be jealous woo!!

calls you cute and pretty and you don’t mind it anymore, i guess. (you love it.)

such a gentleman fr

LOVES dates with you, especially at night.

like please go to a arcade with him and beat him in a shooting game he loves it

then gloat about it afterwards 🤗

gives you cute gifts and your always covering your face and giggling about it.

he doesn’t mind his hot headed gf okay he loves u

hanta sero - boyfriend headcanons:

- i think that out of all his friends, hanta definitely gets a girlfriend first and your relationship lasts the longest

- friends to lovers, will they won't they, everyone knows but them, because he's an idiot, he definitely fell first and fell harder,

- but once you're actually together, once you're his girlfriend, hanta never shuts up about you. "if my girl was here, she could-" "well my girl knows how to-" "my girl is so cool, she-"

- big fan of laying between your thighs after a smoke for a nap!!! you stopped getting high with hanta before watching movies because every time you guys smoke together he dozes off for hours and snores like a fucking tractor

- brings you EVERYWHERE. he's that one homeboy that's always like "can my girl come with us? 🥺"

like that one time when their friend group was going out for jirou's birthday. it was 'emo night' or something equally ridiculous at one of the clubs downtown. denki had suggested they all go for a laugh, free entry before 11pm, and if it was shit they could bounce. so hanta had been at mina's place pre-gaming when he'd gotten a very emoji filled text from his girlfriend. your two friends who are the worst with cancelling plans, had cancelled on you, again. hanta rolls his eyes at your dramatics but a soft smile tugs at his lips and he stops mid way through typing 'i told you so', when he sees the "idc bout that tho 😵🙄 i jus misss youuuu☹️🥹" from you. he doesn't even think twice before calling out to his friends.

"yo guys, can my girl come with?"

- likes when you yell at him. obviously he doesn't seriously piss you off on purpose, but you're easy to tease, and he knows all the right buttons to push. so why wouldn't he, 'forget' to pick up the shit you needed, and when you get all up in his face, fire burning in your eyes, as you cuss him out, yeah, it makes his dick twitch, just a little.

- you take him shopping with you all the time because he gives you his honest opinion on everything, regardless of whether you like it or not. he gets super up in your personal space and says the most ridiculously accurate bullshit right in your ear, " don't get the purple, you're gonna look like a grape", "you like this one? kinda smells like caca- ouch."

- always calling your phone!!!!! like this man does not let you breathe. and its always to talk about nothing.

"hanta, i'm at work?"

"are you not on break...? you just sent me a tiktok."

"that's not the point-"

"- well, i saw the cutest little cat earlier, reminded me of that cat we saw at...."

- he lets you bite him.

the first time you did it, you had no idea what came over you. you were both curled up on your couch, legs entwined, him little spooning, the side of your face resting on his left shoulder blade, both enraptured in whatever episode of rick and morty. and its like pure animal instinct when you lean down and gently bite the exposed area of his bicep. its less of a bite, more you just lightly sinking your teeth into your boyfriend's soft skin. but its enough to make him sit up slightly and angle his head towards you with narrow eyes. "freaky 'lil shit."

- ceo and founding father of the broke boyfriend pose. notice how i put pose, cos he does spoil you and most times you buy something, it's on his card, but the pose! yknow that one when the guy stands with his arms wrapped around his girl when she's paying for something.... yeah

- that's as far as blatant pda goes for him tho, i think he's more into handholding ORRR,,,, when you're out walking on the busy streets and you grab onto his bicep >>

- huge user of "nah missus says no" "wife's not letting me out, yknow how it is" and "my girl said i cant go" this is a hundred percent false btw!!! he's just too lazy to find a better excuse, and he'd rather spend his time with you

- hanta's a big fan of ordering for you, more because you hate it, unless you're getting boba, then he just stands awkwardly in the shop one hand resting on the small of your back, the other tapping away at some dumb mobile game, while you order for two

- also a big fan of "whatever you need baby." as in whatever,,,, not just material things or physically, maybe it's because he comes from a big family but he has this desire to provide for you, time, love, effort, emotional support, "y'know you can call me whenever." and he always picks up, drops everything.

like that one time, still a fresh month into your relationship, you had cancelled on your brunch date because your period had started and you felt ugly and in pain. and hanta dropped by later in the afternoon with your favourite takeout and some sweet treats and a blunt, when you almost bursted into tears, he had just opened his arms out and you both laid down on the couch to watch whatever shit reality tv you had been watching.

- speaking of tv, he's also big into watching shows together, so you've been going through your netflix list together. when you go to his on a thursday night and you watch the new ep of your anime together, and when he stays over at yours for the weekend you binge your other shows together

- calls you bro and dude sometimes gang

- randomly bursts into song

- randomly starts freestyling, "babe gimme a beat-"

we need more enimies to lovers fics w iida

funny business || hobie brown

part two

"No."

"Please."

"I said no, go away," he huffed, leaning up against the wall of the empty room in headquarters you dragged him into. If he didn't love you so much he would have knocked your lights out. In fact, he would not have let you drag him in the first place.

"Hobebe, please," you clasped your hands together and brought them under your chin, begging him and hoping that the use of the nickname would make him cave. But of course it didn't.

This exchange had been going on for ten minutes straight.

A crazy thought had popped itself into your head, and you decided to seek out your boyfriend to make that thought a reality. But he didn't exactly match your enthusiasm.

"Hobie, come on. It's just gonna be a second," you continued to beg, tugging at his sleeve and standing on your toes just so you can be slightly eye level with him.

"Just hang upside down real quick and I'll give you a quick kiss. That's it, please."

All he did was roll his eyes at your begging, he thought this was absolutely ridiculous.

"Why can't you just kiss me now love?" he moved away from the wall to lean down close to your face. Not only to stop you from almost jumping to meet his gaze, but because he knew how flustered you would get when he did.

"I kiss you like this all the time," you almost pouted, turning your gaze slightly away from him, not expecting his sudden movements towards you. This made his expression turn amused.

"I just want to try something new."

His smirk grew wider at your choice of words, and your chest began to feel a bit hot. You almost feared to ask...

"What?"

"Nothing," he simply hummed, raising his hand to run his knuckles against your cheek, and you felt the heat in your chest trail up to your neck.

"It's just that, this isn't the first time you said that."

And that was it, your face practically went up in flames at the reminder, making you turn away completely and hide your face in your hands.

"Hobie, stop," your whines came, slightly muffled now making him throw his head back in laughter.

The sound that came from him was deep and smooth, familiar even. That did not help your current state as you felt you were becoming more akin to a bonfire.

"Hey now," he softly whispered despite your current torment. He moved towards you once more, chuckling as he tried to pull your hands away from your face.

And you let him, absolutely melting in his touch despite your own temperature.

"Don't go hiding that pretty face of yours," he grinned as your eyes finally met him again. He gently took your chin between his fingers. He didn't want you turning away again, especially now when he had a little proposition for you.

"Tell you what," he said.

"If you can look at me for a minute straight while I do whatever I want, I'll hang upside down and you can kiss me all you want." He proposed, and it intrigued you. But the look on his face made you hesitate.

"You're not gonna do anything funny are you?" You quirked a brow, finding the courage to pull your chin from his hand as you finally began to compose yourself.

"That type of funny, nah," he shook his head.

"Unless you want it to be of course, I'm a gentleman above all else."

You look at him unimpressed.

"Hobart."

"Damn, so pissy," he tsked.

"But yes, nothing funny unless specifically asked for," he tilted his head towards you with a more genuine smile.

Fuck, he was cute.

"Fine," you agreed.

"Get ready to hang upside down, pretty boy."

"We'll see about that," he quirked an amused brow before taking your shoulders in his hands, completely taking you by surprise once more.

"One minute starts now."

Your breath hitched in your throat as you feel him backing you up against the wall. He did it gently, but it didn't stop you from tensing up in an effort to stand your ground.

Was this not funny business? You screamed in your head despite your thoughts beginning to get muddled as he leaned down towards you like earlier. Your heart was practically doing a number on your

"Why do you look so mad?" He cooed, hands trailing up to the sides of your face.

Now this was getting really funny. But you didn't say anything. Knowing that talking would only make things worse. You focused on looking him in the eyes with the best deadpan expression you could muster.

You were gonna do the upside down kiss with him, even if it killed you.

"Not answering me I see," he hummed, thumbs now rubbing small circles on your cheeks.

"You know, I don't understand why you want me to go upside down just for a kiss," he said simply, almost too simply for your liking.

Still, he went on. He moved his head a bit to the side, lips going near your ear till you could hear and feel his warm breath on you.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Quite unimaginative don't you think?" He whispered, voice seemingly going down an octave.

"I could think of a lot more fun things we could do upside down."

And that was it, the emotions you were hiding came out in a burst, and you practically yanked yourself from his hold to look away from him. You hid your head in your hands again, this time not only in embarrassment, but in defeat.

"You promised no funny business," you peaked your eyes out of your hands just to glare at him.

He was looking at you so smug with his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, but you didn't specify what funny business," he shrugged.

"All I did was talk to you like I normally do, not my fault you could handle it."

You huffed at his nonchalant attitude, bringing your hands down to clench them at your sides.

"This isn't over."

He laughed at the determined look on your face, thinking how fucking cute you were. So cute in fact that he leaned in to kiss you on the cheek.

"It never is."

hopefully he's less ooc :>> part two here

seros mom is the type to research and modify her favorite recipes for your eating preferences because her love language is cooking food and she always wants you to feel welcome and comfortable in her home. gluten free, vegetarian, vegan, dairy free, wtv it is, she's got you covered.

Hii 😄😄 this is the cutest thing I’ve seen

And abt DABI ?!?

Why is he so sweet heart in this

I’m afraid all of this would work on me!

𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐩 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞) —

pairing: dabi + f!reader

word count: 4381

cw: getting to know each other (against your better intuition), flirting, bad flirting,some explicit language but nothing too bad, no quirk AU, dabi commits a crime or two

summary: In which Dabi meant to text Toga instead of a random stranger. But these things happen, and you were never one to shy away from troublesome men. This whole thing is told entirely through text messages.

a/n: check out my AO3 for different formatting! :)

Mar 02  10:07 PM

Unknown: Grab bleach while you’re out Unknown: And paper towels

You: who is this??

Unknown: So funny

You: u got the wrong number my guy 

Unknown: Shit Unknown: You don’t happen to have some bleach at your disposal rn? 

You: try the convenience store You: where’s the body at, anyways

Unknown: Ohara street by the fitness park, you should come check it out

You: sounds enticing You: i’ve always wanted to be on a true crime podcast

You: sort of expected myself to be the alive one though

Unknown: I was taught that women tend to be smart about stranger danger and stuff Unknown: You're out to prove me wrong

You: how’d you know i’m a woman? 🤨

Unknown: U sound cute Unknown: And men don’t listen to true crime

You: that’s so sexist You: and correct You: you'd do numbers on reddit

Mar 03 00:16 AM

You: hey don’t leave now

Mar 03 00:34 AM

Unknown: Had a body to take care of

You: you didn’t wait for me? :(

Unknown: … Unknown: Are u fr

You: ofc not You: i don’t hang out with edgelords

Unknown: Whatever u r probably boring anyways

You: entertaining enough for u to keep texting me

Unknown: We all have our moments of weakness 

Mar 03 01:09 AM

Unknown: So wyd

You: you don’t have anybody else to bother?

Unknown: I do Unknown: I want to bother you tho

You: damn, what’d i do to deserve this

Unknown: Is that a complaint

You: i have uni tomorrow and ur buzzing keeps waking me up

Unknown: Mute your phone, stupid 

You: can’t mute unknown numbers

Unknown: Save this one then Unknown: Or block me idc

You: what name should i put it under

Unknown: Dabi 

You: lmao i knew you were an edgelord

Dabi: Stfu

You: good night to you too

Mar 03  07:58 AM

You: fuck

Mar 03 3:56 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me that bad 

Mar 03 4:32 PM

You: i overslept and am blaming you entirely

Mar 03 5:19 PM 

Dabi: Sucks to be a useful member to society

You: why what do you do

Dabi: I'm actually a bit of a part-time freelancer, you regular uni folk just wouldn't get it

You: freelancing around ohara at 1 in the morning sounds like the truly fulfilling purpose we all long for You: did you just get up

Dabi: Hey now  Dabi: Yes  Dabi: I’m still in bed technically, looking at the ceiling fan is so interesting when I don't want to move a muscle

You: you are everything I am jealous of

Dabi: I promise you it’s not that good 

You: first time a guy’s been honest right away. i applaud u

Dabi: Omg no way 

Mar 03 5:40 PM

You: no way what

Dabi: No way you said something witty 

Dabi: Maybe you’re fun after all

You: i’ll have u know that deep down, i’m just a fragile being trying to make it thru this bitch of a world, running on fumes and caffeine all while chasing a childhood dream that i'll never be able to reach anyways because of my parents' expectations of me crushing my soul

Dabi: Damn, being vulnerable already 

You: your turn

Dabi: I’m not sad. My life is great and my parents never expected anything of me

Dabi: That was a lie 

You: so you’re a liar

Dabi: I suppose I might be

You: that counts as being vulnerable. i’m so proud of us. <3

Mar 03 9:12 PM

You: you probably have daddy issues

Mar 03 11:34 PM 

Dabi: Mind your business 

You: so i’m right

Dabi: Nosy sounds more like it

You: that’s a yes then

Dabi: When I tell you he SUCKS so bad 

You: LMAO You: i’m guessing you don’t particularly like your family then

Dabi: It's not the type of stuff I'd tell anybody, especially not to some nosy individual whose number is one or two digits off

You: alright i’ll stop digging You: wait how old are you You: am i talking to some 50 y/o dude You: please no

Mar 04 00:02 AM

Dabi: Chill I’m 48

Mar 04 00:06 AM 

You: say sike right now You: if u rly are then i’m half your age

Dabi: You thought Dabi: Are you actually 24 tho

You: give or take a few days lol

Dabi: When’s your birthday 

You: do you want my social and tax numbers while we’re at it

Dabi: Stfu I wanna see if I’m older 

You: 🤨 You: it’s at the end of this month

Dabi: Baby 

You: are u flirting with me or insulting me

Dabi: Can’t I be doing both 

Mar 04 06:30 AM

You: love me a guy who can multitask You: did you ever get your bleach and paper towels

Mar 04 11:11 AM

You: it’s 11:11 make a wish

Mar 04 2:02 PM

You: my wish is that you’d commit to a humane sleeping schedule

Mar 04 2:59 PM 

Dabi: Anybody hear sum 

You: i heard you’re a lazy bitch You: who doesn’t even do his own grocery shopping

Dabi: Maybe I do. Maybe I got the bleach all on my own like a big boy

You: X

Dabi: What's that mean

You: X for doubt You: it’s a meme

Dabi: Here I thought we were about to get spicy 😔

You: ew

Dabi: I was joking  Dabi: …unless 

You: has anybody ever told you that your flirting is immaculate

Mar 04 7:10 PM

Dabi: What do you study 

You: are you trying to find out my location

Dabi: Let it be known I’m terrible at geography and if I wanted to stalk you I'd already be on it

You: that’s a consolation You: forensic science You: i actually can’t wait for the semester to be over bc my professor is one of the most annoying individuals i have ever had the displeasure of meeting

Dabi: So you do have bleach 

You: never said i didn’t

Dabi: What do I have to do to make the list of annoying individuals. What's my current score

You: we haven’t met You: and i’m not sure if i’d survive u

Dabi: You have a point, I'm super nice tho

You: bet You: are you handsome You: asking for a friend You: the handsome ones are usually more annoying

Dabi: I'll say I’m frighteningly unique-looking 

You: ...well played

Mar 04 10:09 PM 

Dabi: My boss is making me do errand work in the morning like I'm some kind of functioning human being with principles Dabi: The next piercing I’m getting is a lobotomy 

You: thought you were “freelancing”

Dabi: Freelancing only gets you so far. You'll understand when you're my age

You: can't imagine what the back pain must be like You: do you have a tongue piercing 👀

Dabi: Perhaps I do

You: u r so mysterious You: tell me an opinion 

Dabi: Mint ice cream makes my teeth feel weird 

You: that’s not an opinion 

Dabi: Alright, more foods should have mint in them. And coriander. I want to make things inedible for 80% of the human population

You: nvm keep your opinions to yourself 

Mar 05 02:26 AM

Dabi: I've gotta burn this number. Txt u in a few 

Mar 05 05:16 AM

You: what are you, some kind of druglord This message could not be delivered.

You: I knew it This message could not be delivered.

Mar 0512:03 PM

You: ayo are you still there This message could not be delivered.

You: this is only funny if you come clean right now This message could not be delivered.

Mar 05 4:16 PM

You: "text you in a few" minutes? hours? days? This message could not be delivered.

You: just know that if it takes to long i'll forget about u This message could not be delivered.

You: won't even miss u This message could not be delivered.

Mar 06 09:00 AM

You: hello is this thing on This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 3:15 PM

You: my social security number is 6007 0023 6799 0324 This message could not be delivered.

Mar 07 8:46 PM

You: eggs, vinegar, panko, sprite, sliced ham, parmesan, deodorant sencha if they have the good one ground pepper, lemon juice This message could not be delivered.

Mar 08 04:44 AM

Unknown: Am I still the man of ur dreams

You: I'm killing you You: violently

Unknown: I was hoping softly Unknown: With your song

You: are these messages being monitored You: am i a suspect

Unknown: If they were, could I write that I'm a ruthless baby killer anti-government fuck the police pro abortion the prime minister is an idiot bomb. bomb at the airport, terrorism, detonate Unknown: I guess now they are

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: just when i thought i'd have to find another witty asshole with a tongue piercing

Dabi: Aw you missed me Dabi: Does my tongue piercing make me hot be honest

You: what are my chances of getting an explanation for the past few days You: are u a murderer fr, that would be so cool You: i totally didn't use our abandoned chat as a grocery list btw

Dabi: The only thing I slay is pussy 😎

You: somehow i have doubts about that statement You: animal abuse is no joke

Dabi: I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 100, if you guess it correctly I'll tell u everything

You: 69

Mar 08 08:21 AM

Dabi: It was 72 Dabi: Because you were so close I'll give u one free question. But I want another one in return

You: you're a dirty little gremlin who plays dirty little games You:: do i get to ask a follow-up question

Dabi: No

You: in that case You: which of the following activities did you partake in? 1.) vandalism 2.) drug dealing 3.) drug trafficking 4.) violent crimes 5.) violent crimes that resulted in the death of one or more individuals 6.) assisting someone in a violent crime 7.) assisting someone in a non-violent crime 8.) theft 9.) robbery 10.) hate crimes against a minority 11.) politically motivated acts of defiance 12.) consumption of illegal substances 13.) running and/or hiding from law enforcement 14.) domestic terrorism 15.) human trafficking 16.) money laundering 17.) having a good time

Dabi: What the fuck Dabi: What is this, a multiple choice? Dabi: 1, 4, 6, 7, 8, 13 Dabi: My turn Dabi: What's your favourite food

You: fr, just like that You: that's your one question out of everything you could ask? am i really that boring

Dabi: I ask what I ask

You: spicy miso ramen with minced pork You: can we go back to the part where you ran from law enforcement

Dabi: Don't we all have demons that we run from Dabi: Mine are just a bit more persistent

Mar 08 10:52 AM

You: i want another question

Dabi: If you come up with one that's not related to the past few days, go ahead

You: fine i'll take it You: have you ever been caught and gotten in legal trouble for one of your… dubious activities

Dabi: Yeah

You: …and?

Dabi: That's another question. Gonna trade?

You: fine

Dabi: When I was 16, two Officers Of The Law 🐷 caught me dumpster diving behind a 7/11 Dabi: The dumpster diving wasn't the crime but because it was on private property they charged me with trespassing

You: damn, that's a lot of truth from u in just two sentences You: i wanna know ur tragic backstory so bad

Dabi: You could try to get me all sentimental for the 6 minutes after really good sex before the post nut clarity sets in

You: uh huh, taking notes You: anyway. you get one question. think hard

Dabi: If you couldn't have minced pork on your ramen, what would your second topping choice be

You: you're impossible

Mar 08 1:27 PM

You: tori karaage or extra ni-tamago i guess

Mar 08 2:23 PM

Dabi: Doesn't the Karaage lose its crispiness if it's in the broth for too long Dabi: I wouldn't know

You: please let me recommend you a good ramen place, you seem like you'd need it

Dabi: You have no idea. Take me out

You: like romantically? or are you asking me to murder you

Dabi: I love surprises

You: i just laughed out loud in the middle of my lecture

Mar 08 7:18 PM

Dabi: Need your forensic expertise for a sec

You: …oh no

Dabi: It's a purely hypothetical scenario

You: alright lay it on me big boy

Dabi: If a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person were to climb over a 4,60 meter high fence that has electrical wiring on it Dabi: What would the most likely way for them to die be?

You: this is not forensic at all You: how strong is the electricity You: is there a way to shut it off You: where would you hold onto the fence You: can it be damaged

Dabi: Not me, a 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person

You: where would THE 176 CM TALL AND 67 KG HEAVY PERSON HOLD ONTO THE FENCE

Dabi: The only points that provide decent grip surface are the hooks holding the wires in place

You: so the most likely way to die would be electrocution You: will that be all

Dabi: How would one determine whether the electricity has been properly shut off Dabi: In the theoretical scenario that you couldn't get close enough to hear

You: the 176 cm tall and 67 kg heavy person should tap the wiring from the bottom with the back of their hand You: that way their fingers curl downwards and not around the wire You: so the person won't DIE from ELECTROCUTION

Mar 09 00:08 AM

Dabi: Excellent Dabi: Gonna do some field research Dabi: Will report back in maybe a day

Mar 09 08:01 AM

You: i'm gonna be so mad if you die before you've had decent karaage This message could not be delivered.

Mar 11 6:10 PM

Unknown: So it turns out that the person did not have to climb the fence after all. Pliers are such useful tools Unknown: Thanks for the electricity tip tho

Mar 11 6:39 PM

Dabi was added as a contact.

You: you're so hot when you're alive 

Mar 11 9:14 PM

Dabi: Do u think I'm a catch 😏

You: judging by the way law enforcement is trying to get their hands on you, i'd say you're pretty slippery

Dabi: The slipperiest Dabi: You couldn't handle me

You: i'd trap you using cheese and a paper box  You: put you in a jar and turn you into spicy miso broth 

Dabi: Would you hold the jar tight at night and tell me everything's going to be okay 

You: of course 

Dabi: I'm liking this scenario 

Mar 12 01:07 AM 

Dabi: Ever thought about what Mint Karaage would taste like

Mar 12 01:23 AM

You: i need u 

Dabi: Tell me more

You: to shut your mouth

Dabi: Are you trying to romance me

Mar 12 07:15 AM

You: i'm actually so upset right now  You: can i vent

Mar 12 07:27 AM

Dabi: Listening Dabi: Am I gonna have to get the tissues out

You: you're not empathetic enough for that 

Dabi: How would you know 

You: call it a woman's intuition  You: i just need someone to bother about my hot girl troubles

Dabi: Let's hear it girl  Dabi: Men ain't shit 💅

You: damn right they aren't You: but unrelated to that You: i ran out of my medication a few days ago and thought if i stretched the remaining 3 pills to last me 6 days i'd be able to make it till the end of the week  You: now my doctor's office is closed and i can't seem to get an appointment anywhere You: and i'm super jittery and on edge and almost had a panic attack just trying to make coffee

Dabi: What type of medication 

You: Ativan You: it's prescription only

Dabi: Nothing is ever "prescription only" 

You: i'm not gonna try some experimential backalley drug You: just feel like dying rn

Dabi: Who said anything about backalley? You actually came to the right guy for this  Dabi: What's the name of the nearest druggery 

You: ...fukuju pharmacy

Dabi: So I've been talking to a Setagaya girl 

You: only moved here for uni, hate to disappoint if ur expecting a wealthy maiden 

Mar 12 10:02 AM

Dabi: Don't you feel like getting a snack from the vending machine  Dabi: Specifically the one next to the pharmacy  Dabi: A bag of skittles sounds nice, doesn't it?

You: ? ? ?

Mar 12 10:34 AM 

You: did you commit a crime for me  You: how did you get your hands on actual fucking Ativan this fast

Dabi: I don't kiss and tell

You: did you follow me home  You: is this how i die

Dabi: You make it so hard to be nice to you Dabi: What do you think I am, a creep

You: if you were here i'd suck you off so good rn

Dabi: Whore Dabi: (Respectfully)

You: lmao ur right You: thank you for real though

Dabi: Stfu

Mar 12 1:33 PM

Dabi: Do u like cats

You: yes

Dabi sent an image.

Dabi: Noodle thieving menace 

You: 🥹 You: that has got to be the fattest street cat i’ve ever seen

Dabi: He’s hella fast 

You: how does it feel to be the one chasing the culprit for once

Dabi: Not nearly as thrilling as being the one committing the crime 

Mar 13 00:00 AM

Unknown: Congratulations! You have been selected as an eligible member for a free trial of Osaka Daily Post. Unknown: If you would like information about your benefits, reply 'BENEFIT' Unknown: If you would like to stop receiving these messages, reply 'STOP' 

You: i know it's you shithead

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: this is the unfunniest you've ever been ngl

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: you're truly one of the most annoying individuals in my life

Unknown: Your message could not be processed. 

You: STOP

Unknown: LMAO you thought

Dabi was saved as a contact. 

You: i'm reconsidering if the tongue piercing is really worth it 😤

Mar 13 04:55 AM

Dabi: Any particular reason why you chose forensics 

Mar 13 06:09 AM

You: i've always admired criminals but been to scared to become one You: and if i know about psychotic assholes it might help me to steer clear of them, or so i thought

Dabi: Is it working

You: evidently not

Dabi: Use me in ur thesis  Dabi: I'll be your lab rat

You: nah you're more beneficial to me when you're not stuck behind bars You: what do you have me saved as in your phone

Dabi: I don't save contacts  Dabi: Especially not yours  Dabi: You mean nothing to me 

You: aww do you know my number by heart, that's adorable You: i'm kinda genuinely impressed at how persistent you are at bothering me, it's almost like you like me or smth

Dabi: No fr though lmao if anybody finds my phone you'd be on a list

You: do u delete these chats

Dabi: Always

You: that's so romantic You: admit it you're actually a softie

Dabi: Would that make you more interested in me  Dabi: Then I'm the softest 

You: what do i need to do to make you the hardest

Dabi: ... Dabi: There's absolutely no correct way for me to respond to that  Dabi: You've left me speechless 

You: 🥵🥵

Dabi: What's your worst quality  Dabi: Besides being an irresistible smartass  Dabi: *irritating 

You: was that a freudian slip You: you're so obsessed with me it's adorable

Dabi: Proving my point so diligently 

You: you don't seem like the kind of person who would use words like 'diligently' You: i'm rather talkative at times You: to the point where it gets unbearable to listen to me

Dabi: I never would've guessed

You: what's yours? You: besides the obvious

Dabi: Still putting up with you 

Mar 13 7:45 PM

Dabi: Wyd 

You: i burned my rice a little You: but it's edible

Dabi: Don't you have a rice cooker? Who raised you 

You: my very strict but sweet and committed grandmother who made the best teriyaki salmon in the whole world You: i'd kill another human being to eat her home cooked food one more time

Dabi: So your parents ain't shit either 

You: eh, they're alright You: they're Business People overseas and aren't around a whole lot, means i get my own place though You: so i can have visitors at any desired hour 😏

Dabi: Omg sick Dabi: Me next

You: it was implied

Mar 13 11:11 PM

Dabi: Ok but do u actually wanna meet up sometime  Dabi: No strings attached ofc 

You: i'm down

Dabi: What if I'm a creep after all

You: if anything, it means i won't have to attend my lecture about carbon dots tmrw

Dabi: I can't tomorrow  Dabi: What about the day after Dabi: I'll give u my credit card info if it makes you feel more safe, don't bother trying to buy anything with it tho, you'll be disappointed

You: you may not show it a whole lot, but are you actually a considerate person? You: the day after sounds good

Dabi: Preem

You: oreryu shio ramen, right by harajuku station You: about time you had some good karaage You: my treat You: unless that's too far away for u

Dabi: I would fly across the world for u Dabi: Yes Harajuku works fine

Mar 14 08:49 AM

You: how will i recognise u You: what do u look like

Dabi: As my dad once said. I'm impossible to miss 

You: i laughed

Dabi: Guess it was all worth it then  Dabi: Do tattoos scare you

You: i was gonna ask cause there's no way you got only a tongue piercing and nothing else You: stand there with your tongue out

Dabi: Shouldn't we at least get to know each other before 😳

You: don't get any ideas  You: i don't intend to fuck u You: ...for now

Dabi: That's a relief, I thought I might have to file a restraining order afterwards 

Mar 14 1:42 PM 

Dabi sent an image. 

Dabi: If u see this guy u can still run the other way 

You: hhh fuck You: are u trying to intimidate me You: how do you have so many tattoos but no bedframe

Dabi: Cut me some slack, I just moved into this place 

You: fair warning i'm not as hot as u

Dabi: Bet 

You sent an image. 

Dabi: Why do women always lie. I thought you were better. I thought you were different

You: 😳 You: i'm actually worse

Dabi: We're such a good match

You: don't get ahead of urself. u r still a guy with no bedframe

Dabi: Please shut up

Mar 14 4:16 PM

Dabi: To be clear I'm not bringing flowers or anything  Dabi: And I'm actually willing to let you pay this time lol 

You: you have such a unique way with words 

Dabi: A bit tight on money rn but I'll pay u back some other way 

You: can we make that the first line in our sextape  You: dw i said it's my treat and i mean it You: does that make you feel emasculated

Dabi: Who would I be to say no to free food tf Dabi: If there's a next time I can take you out for drinks  Dabi: Nothing fancy but an old friend of mine owns a bar downtown and his girlfriend mixes a killer mule 

You: if you're gonna poison me after gaining my trust over my favourite food i will be incredibly sad 

Dabi: Give me some credit here. I'm trusting u to not rat me out to law enforcement 

You: you're giving me ideas You: is there a bounty on your head

Dabi: I'm not that important 

Mar 14 9:44 PM

You: so you're just too good to get caught

Dabi: Both flattering and factually correct Dabi: For the record I've never harmed anybody that didn't deserve it 

You: thanks for clarifying  You: i feel so safe now 

Dabi: Anytime  Dabi: If you're having second thoughts lmk before 10 am so I won't spend time getting ready for nothing 

You: 10 am is crazy  You: u r so vain 

Dabi: Alright then I won't 😔

You: i take it back You: be pretty for me

Mar 15 5:30 AM

You: can't sleep 

Mar 15 7:12 AM

Dabi: How the turntables  Dabi: Are you alright

You: yes  You: it's the good kind of sleepless 

Dabi: It's fine if you're having second thoughts, I won't hold it against you at all  Dabi: Just texting like this is nice too

You: fuck no i wanna meet the man behind the screen You: the myth, the legend, the crimelord himself 

Dabi: I'm never showing consideration for ur wellbeing ever again 

You: should've ghosted me before i got attached

Mar 15 9:54 AM

Dabi: Last chance to bail gracefully  

You: you make it so tempting 

Dabi: Getting out of bed then 

You: it's not a bed if it doesn't have a bedframe

Dabi: Shut, and I mean this in the gentlest way possible, the hell your mouth

Mar 15 12:08 PM

Dabi sent a location pin.

Dabi: Is this the place

You: that's the one  You: be there in a few minutes 

Dabi: I'm waiting outside 

Mar 15 12:13 PM

You: omg i think i see u You: im shy

Dabi: U literally have so much blackmail material on me 

You: give me a second You: alright I'm coming over This message could not be delivered.

★﹒₊‧their sun sing match up

oikawa is a cancer and he belongs with a scorpio, bc i'm a scorpio.

a/n thank u 😚 for reading ! <3

// SELF INSERT !!

Wow??? Self-insert dump (AGAIN) (cause 😭😭😭)

Anyways here’s Deku ( x me ) cause he my fav

skts spiderman au (+samu) request from patre•n 🫶

history repeats itself.

i'm about to be snowed in (by texas standards) so maybe ill finally get around to writing something !!

ALSO !! i bought this book Bonjour tristesse, to help me with my french reading and i'm so excited to start it !!