The first and most important rule of public play is KEEP IT PRIVATE. The sexuality you share with your significant other is not actually public play, but private play, done in a public setting. If anyone else can detect that you are playing, You’re doing it wrong, very wrong.
Other people who are sharing the public space you are in shouldn’t have to be a witness to your kinks and fetishes and to force them on other people is very rude and disrespectful. As much as I would love to, there’s no leading him around the mall on a leash. The key to this is subtlety. No one else should be able to detect that you are actually playing kinky games in front of them, and if they do detect strange behavior, you must be able to explain it away as something other then sex play. In other words, plausible deniability.
I will give you an example. If you are a regular reader of mine, you’ll know that if I say ‘puppyluv’ to my husband, he must immediately get down on all fours and not speak. He must have one hand on the ground or floor at all times. While this is usually done at home, I have given the order in public a few times just to rattle him. I like to know he trusts me enough to obey instantly. Before doing so, I look around to make sure no one is watching. If someone did see us and questioned what we were doing, I would say he was looking for something small that I dropped, creating plausible deniability. If detected, we stop immediately, as other people’s comfort and our reputations are more important then the thrill we get from public play.
So now that the rule is established, we’ll move on to some of the other things we subtly do in public to reflect the unequal roles we live at home.
He will never let go of my hand. I love holding hands and when we are out, I like to use his hand as a leash to lead him around. I lead and he follows me everywhere. He must hold my hand until I pull my hand away from his purposely. If he lets go first, he will be punished when we get home. If I grab his hand and press it onto an object, like a hand rail, bench, or table, he has to grab hold of it and not let go. He is now effectively leashed to it until I peel his hand off of it and lead him away.
He will remain at heel at all times unless I command him to fetch something or send him on some errand. If I’m not leading him by the hand, he must wait for me to move before he does. He waits for me to start walking and then immediately follows, catches up and matches my pace. Not following immediately is punishable. I usually want him to walk beside me unless one of my girlfriends is with us, in that case I expect him to follow behind us. If we are walking side by side and I stop, he must stop immediately. Taking more than one step further is punishable. As you can see he has to keep most of his attention on me and I love it that way.
My husband never contradicts me while around others, even if he knows what I have said is completely wrong. He lets me lead the conversation in public, only affirming what I have said or adding details. He often mentions to others how smart he thinks I am. If he is the only male present, he usually stays mostly silent, letting us girls have our gab session. It’s easy for us to forget he’s even there. He really portrays the strong, silent type.
Another way he serves me in public is by always being the designated driver at parties so I can drink wine with my girlfriends. In fact, it’s usually the only time I let him drive when we are out together. I love driving, so unless I plan on drinking alcohol, he rarely gets to drive when with me. I sometimes make him bend over and let me insert one of his various buttplugs before we hit the road, but only when I’m driving as it would be too distracting for him to drive safely.
When it’s time to exit the vehicle, if we are alone he requires my permission to do so. He isn’t allowed to ask, so if I exit the vehicle with out giving him permission, he just sits and waits. Sometimes I don’t give him permission, and when I get out, I’ll walk around and open his door for him, holding his hand, helping him out, and lead him by the hand away from the vehicle. When we approach the vehicle, I sometimes walk him up to the passenger side and open his door for him, and close it once he’s inside. I love the 50’s style role reversal aspect of this. With other people in the car, we do things much more subtly. If one of my girlfriends is with us, he sits in the back seat every time, and he always opens his door last, letting the ladies lead him in getting in or leaving the vehicle. My friends have never even noticed the way in which he unobtrusively submits to us like this.
He has 2 different pairs of sunglasses in my car. A normal pair for the odd time I let him drive, and another pair for when he’s the passenger. The second pair has the sides blacked out and act like blinkers on a horses bridle, creating tunnel vision so that he can only see what’s directly in front of him. I often make him wear them in the car when not driving, but I sometimes make him wear them while walking in the park or window shopping. I lead him around using his hand as a leash at all times as it would be too easy for him to walk into someone else or trip on something just out of his line of vision. I like the way it makes him more dependent on me in public.
While shopping for groceries, he must silently follow me around the store pushing the cart without ever taking his hands off of the handle until we are checking out. If he removes a hand from the cart handle or speaks for any reason, he will be punished at home.
I often make him cross-dress underneath his male street clothes while we are in public. I love knowing he is so sexy and feminine. Panties are quite common. Pantyhose are a must when wearing jeans, as I don’t allow such rough textures as denim to directly touch his bare skin. If he forgot to put them on before leaving the house, I will hand him a pair that I keep in my purse and make him put them on in a public restroom.
I often tell him how pretty he is when we both know strangers can hear. In the future, I plan to buy him a corset and have him tight-laced while we are out. The idea is it will restrict his movement and only allow him shallow breaths, ensuring he feels my control every time he inhales. I will add a little padding around it so that it isn’t noticeable. If anyone asks why he is moving or walking differently, I’ll just say he threw his back out.
When we are sitting in a restaurant, if our table or booth is hidden enough, I sometimes sit across from him and have him put his feet on my lap. I pull a short chain out of my purse and lock it around both of his ankles, effectively hobbling him, until it’s time to leave. I sometimes hobble him when riding in the car as well.
You would think that playing like this, over time, would clue our friends and acquaintances in on the female-led relationship that we have. I cover it up by hinting to my girlfriends that it’s actually the opposite, that he dominates me somewhat. The irony is absolutely delicious. Often times, the girls want to get together and have a girl’s night out. I enjoy it at times, but they do it too often, and I’m not always in the mood to go out with them. I will tell them that I have to ask my husband first. Oh the outrage! It drives them crazy, in this day and age, to think that I would have to ask him for permission. When I come up with a reason he won’t let me go, to avoid going, he gets a few icy stares. My poor scapegoat.
Like most girl groups, we share intimate details with each other including our sex lives, and I share too. Just not necessarily the whole truth. I have, over time, built up my husband’s reputation as being quite the stud which isn’t a total lie as he really is amazing at pleasuring me. But when I talk about how big his cock is and how great it feels, the girls assume it’s his actual cock, not the strap on head harness he uses on me. They don’t know that, hanging out with the other husbands and boyfriends 10 feet away from them, he is securely locked in chastity. Also, his body is clean-shaven, his toenails are painted, and is wearing pantyhose or at least panties underneath his clothes.
While over there talking with the other guys, my ‘stud’ is trained to watch for very subtle hand signals I use to command him in various ways. For instance, when I decide I want to go home, I will signal him to approach me and say it’s time to go. Even though it’s actually me wanting to leave, I again use him as my scapegoat and he’s portrayed as the party-pooper, wanting to leave earlier than everyone else. He is to have a good reason already made up for why we have to go.
My hand signal commands so far are: STAY WHERE YOU ARE, COME TO ME, FETCH ME A DRINK, MAKE AN EXCUSE TO LEAVE, BE SILENT, REMAIN AT MY SIDE.
I never give him any indication that he will be punished for the way he behaved in public until we are home. If he said something that I disapproved of, I will simply walk up to him holding the ball-gag head harness. When that happens, he must immediately swallow and then open his mouth wide, until I have it strapped in place.
If he wasn’t attentive enough and missed hand signals, he gets corner-time and ignored. If he defied or disobeyed me, depending on how badly, he gets the paddle or the strap.
Review #1 - from Alicia I still love this shock-collar for Husband training. I have truly seen a positive attitude change in him. We all have times our significant other irritates us, but most Women don’t know how to stop it. Example, I was reading my book, and my Husband kept pestering me. I just looked up and turned on the Zapper. Then I told him to vacuum the upstairs, and not interrupt me until I summoned him.
Once I finished reading I gave him an extra good zap to summon him to get me a glass of white wine. Now if you had known my man years ago, you would not believe how responsive he is to my needs and desires.
Review #2 - from Christine After purchasing this we made a rule that my husband would put the zapper around his scrotum just above his balls any time I ask him. It’s also is great on date night. Now when I need the pool scrubbed, I just ask him to put on the zapper. Once it is on, he works hard without any complaints. Then I might get him too clean the stairs. Once he is finished I get him to give me a shoulder and neck massage. I make him wear it 24x7. Even when he is in office. Believe it or not, its an amazing training device for husbands.
Review #3 - from Jenny We recently started using a remote shock puppy collar on my husband’s balls to ensure obedience. This particular model has six shock levels plus a vibrating signal. It’s amazing how effective it has been.
Since we started our FLR, we had a rule that if I called him or gave him an order he must drop whatever he is doing and come to me or do what I told him to do. This used to work according to his mood, and while I of course had the right to punish him, I didn’t do it regularly because I’m lazy. Now I call him using the vibrating feature and he knows that if he doesn’t come immediately (or if he doesn’t obey an order immediately) his nuts will get zapped. He is so responsive and so fast now! When we go out I always make him wear the fully recharged zapper and he behaves like a gentleman, since he knows that I keep the remote with me at all times and that I’m not afraid to use (frankly, I like to use it – hahaha!).
My sweet husband never argues with me anymore and shows proper respect at all times. Even when the zapper is not on, he knows that he will be wearing it before he goes to bed every night. That is a ritual we have since we got the device. Every night he asks me if I am happy with his behavior for the day. If I’m not, I give him shocks of varying intensity and duration depending on the infractions. I love to see the look on his face when he asks the question, especially on those days when he knows he’s been a bad boy, which are now becoming rare. I recommend this gadget to all dominant wives. You will never let any misbehavior go unpunished and he will become a new man, one you will like a lot!
Review #4 - from Me I instructed My husband to buy one of these Remote Shock Puppy for Me several months ago. Once this shock trainer arrived, I looked it over and ordered him to attach it to a locking bondage belt that I secured around his balls. I immediately started experimenting with the shock settings on this wicked little device. It has 16 levels of shock intensity. I discovered that level 3 or 4 are good to get his immediate attention or to summon him to My presence. I use levels 5 to 7 as for punishment for minor infractions, while higher levels are reserved for more severe discipline. Usually anything above level 8 is sufficient to drop him to his knees. I don’t think I have inflicted anything higher than level 11 on him which makes him beg for mercy! I keep My slave in his “shock trainer belt” nearly all the time (except when bathing and so forth).
I really enjoy that I am able to discipline (shock) him when we are out in public like at a restaurant, shopping mall, and so forth. I usually shock him whenever I see is his attention wander from me, or he dares to glace a little too long at another woman.
Queens & Ladies, take My advice and buy one of these shock trainers for your slave/husband. Using this shock trainer combined with the male chastity device of your choice will keep him under your complete control and help make living with him a real pleasure for you 24x7..!
Well, it’s a question so many people asked to Me.
Too much people have only one thing in mind when they heard the word “Domme”…. Sex. Sadly, it’s the result of a cliche spreading by the media. The dominant woman, dressed in leather, wielding a whip and torturing a naked boy. From My point of view, an aberration.
A Domme have a meaning in sexual life, of course, but isn’t its primary meaning.
A Domme, a good Domme, a true Domme… Is much more.
She is an artist, a guide, a nurse, a friend, a teacher, a builder, a goddess…. and, above all, She is a LEADER.
A leader, yes… She is more than a Dominant, She conducts…. She shows the way and leads their subs in their path to perfection.
She is always there, taking care of their needs, teaching them how to behave and how to improve.
She takes boys and build men, perfect men… Men who knows their place and work hard to show their devotion.
Her words are orders, indeed, but not in the usual meaning of the word… She doesn’t need to shout or get angry… A simple move of Her finger has a deep meaning and it’s obeyed without a doubt. That’s Her true power…
So, never forget, being a Domme it’s not a way of add some spice to your bed… It’s an attitude in life!
A Domme is a LEADER!
(The following is an insightful piece written by Tumbelina, a lady who is very much a converted chastity advocate)
The funny thing is that the sight of a cock lock and the idea of male chastity, would make even the most open minded vanilla person cringe. Most view this concept as a twisted fetish, very one sided by way of benefits for a woman, and as being cruel to endure on a man’s part.
However, what many fail to see is that Mother Nature by default causes an imbalance in relationships between a man and a woman. Women are at a disadvantage, and by design the male sex libido prevents a man from fully investing in a relationship to the extent a woman does. He is unable to do so, because he requires a part of himself to be reserved for his own sexual needs and his impulsive self gratification cycle. This cycle in itself, comes with chemical changes in the body, of which cause a diminished level of investment on his part.
If more vanilla people knew this, women would be running out and buying cock locks like they did back when they lost their minds over 50 Shades of Grey. Vanilla men don’t want women to catch on to this, as their relationships would cause them to divorce their dicks or risk divorcing their wives.
How does male chastity benefit an everyday normal relationship outside of sexual? The biggest benefit is the side effects and resulting symptoms of abstinence from masturbation, that lend themselves as positives to the relationship. Men may not see these as positive benefits, but the fact that it provides for true will power and it refines a man’s behavioral psyche…
You see, the process of masturbation involves a mental compulsion, that prompts a physical sexual impulsiveness… It’s actually a very primal behavior and equivalent to the level of an animalistic mentality. Altering the course of this cycle produces more refined and sophisticated human behaviors. It allows for a transferring of resources to the emotional part of the brain, and it prompts a man to seek out fulfillment on a deeper level. It essentially bypasses the dick drain distraction, and allows for the brain to become more aware of its surroundings. It’s almost like turning down the blaring stereo music, and finally realizing that hey ‘listen, I hear birds chirping outside!’… A sound that went unrecognized when the self serving dick rock concert played on infinite repeat lol…
The biggest benefactor that not many people realize?
Male masturbation creates an emotional barrier in relationships and allows a man to remain somewhat disconnected in a very self sufficient and self serving way. Chastity helps remove this barrier and causes a man to have a deeply rooted dependency for his spouse. With masturbation, a man’s emotional offerings are at a level that’s considered sufficient for a male, but insufficient on a female level. Chastity ups a man’s offerings to the level a female requires in order to feel ultimate fulfillment. The very reason why women are known as naggers, always wanting more… ‘It’s never good enough’ is because of the masturbation barrier… If this was not a factor, women would not be associated with these undesirable traits because we’d be much more content. Women wouldn’t feel the need to ‘fight for their food’ and look to secure their emotional meals.
These female feedings do not exclude sex! Chastity forces a man to become truly invested in her pleasures. Men are naturally known to be pleasers in bed… Many men I’ve known have had the mentality ‘I’ll make you come and when you’re done I’ll come’… That’s a considerate male… At best… Understand that this mentality is STILL SELF SERVING on a man’s part! He requires this to stroke his ego. A man needs to feel as though he’s taken care of business, and then gotten his too by getting physical gratification. Once again, it’s double feedings for his needs, and most often she’s faking the orgasms to help stroke him even more. Our emotional ego is tied into our sexual one, whether we’re having sex or saying ‘I love you’ our core needs are being nurtured. This is why a woman is at a disadvantage as she loses out overall.
Masturbation in a relationship is selfish and self serving on a man’s part… Chastity allows for balance and is a selfless act that a man should be willing to embrace if he truly loves his spouse and wants her to find ultimate fulfillment and happiness. When it comes to a woman’s emotional needs, her cup is never full if masturbation is a factor. Chastity increases a man’s tolerance and it neutralizes his male aggressiveness… It also satisfies a woman to the extent that it neutralizes her excessive needs and the feeling that she has to chase down her emotional and sexual meals… There would be a lot more successful relationships and happier couples if the masturbation barrier didn’t exist.
Think about this for a moment…
Sex means the most to a man (as it ties to his emotional ego) and emotional fulfillment means the most to a woman (as it ties to her sexuality) … As a man, Imagine what it would be like if your sex life lacked fulfillment? Your spouse could never quite deliver the quality of sex that makes you feel content… And it was always just ok and sufficient cause there’s no other option… But deep down you know it could be better? This is the exact situation a woman encounters in a relationship, when it comes to her emotional needs. Her emotional fulfillment threshold is at a female level, yet his offerings are limited to the male threshold that he himself finds sufficient… And it’s due to the energy he must reserve for the personal relationship he has with his penis. Men always have this expectation that it’s a woman’s duty to deliver the goods and take care of a man’s needs, if she expects him to stay invested and not stray… Yet a woman is expected to stay equally invested regardless of the level of emotional fulfillment….
He still gets to have his self serving sexual gratification cycle on the side and offer only the left over energy and resources available… While she remains fully invested at all times. The reality is even if a woman engages in masturbation, it does not have the same chemical effects to her female brain and body, and she is able to maintain full investment in the relationship.
Kind of a double standard don’t you think? If a man has those expectations of a woman, he should be willing to hand over all of his sexual/emotional energy and invest it ALL into the relationship. Lastly, the reason why men are viewed as more independent than women is because they have the ability to fully satisfy their most primary need (being sex) all on their own. The idea that they need not depend on a woman for the one thing they cannot live without.
Women on the other hand, are incapable of serving their most primary need (being emotional) without the help of their male spouse. He holds the key to her ultimate fulfillment, and he also holds the key to his own ultimate fulfillment. This is why men have the upper hand as being the more dominant sex. Yes, women are a male weakness… But it’s a desire not a need. Chastity equalizes that all…. As long as men have access to masturbation, they never truly have both feet invested in a relationship and to the point of dependency. Chastity evens out the playing field and allows for a fair game with no one side having an upper advantage over the other.
In a man’s defense, he cannot be faulted for this… As he himself has no control over the male sex brains compulsions and resulting impulsive behaviors. However, a man does have control over the choices he makes to help bypass and remedy this cycle. Making the ultimate sacrifice that allows him to become fully invested in the relationship.
Male chastity is not one sided and ‘cruel’… it’s an added rider that one smart woman places on the relationship, and one selfless man willingly accepts, that helps make for two equal sides. It teaches a man how to seek out and enjoy sexual fulfillment from his spouse and in other forms. Male chastity is the key (and lock) to the ultimate relationship.
Boys are simple, easy to control. I don't need chastity to do it. I just like the way it makes them act. Revved up and willing to try anything. I take advantage of that weakness. I cruelly twist their fantasies & they perform inspired acts of self-degradation for my amusement.