How To Open Up Your Husbands Ass.

Hajimete no SM Guide pg. 90-97 Buy it on Amazon.co.jp

What is a Domme?

Well, it’s a question so many people asked to Me.

Too much people have only one thing in mind when they heard the word “Domme”…. Sex. Sadly, it’s the result of a cliche spreading by the media. The dominant woman, dressed in leather, wielding a whip and torturing a naked boy. From My point of view, an aberration.

A Domme have a meaning in sexual life, of course, but isn’t its primary meaning.

A Domme, a good Domme, a true Domme… Is much more.

She is an artist, a guide, a nurse, a friend, a teacher, a builder, a goddess…. and, above all, She is a LEADER.

A leader, yes… She is more than a Dominant, She conducts…. She shows the way and leads their subs in their path to perfection.

She is always there, taking care of their needs, teaching them how to behave and how to improve.

She takes boys and build men, perfect men… Men who knows their place and work hard to show their devotion.

Her words are orders, indeed, but not in the usual meaning of the word… She doesn’t need to shout or get angry… A simple move of Her finger has a deep meaning and it’s obeyed without a doubt. That’s Her true power…

So, never forget, being a Domme it’s not a way of add some spice to your bed… It’s an attitude in life!

A Domme is a LEADER!

I did not write this article but have kept it with me for a very long time because it means so much to me. I hope you enjoy it and see submission, and why people choose this lifestyle in a whole new light.

Why she wants to be a submissive - The Importance of Submission

In my conversations with submissive women, one thing stands out prominently and that is very few men realize the importance that submission holds for her.   It is far more than a physical experience, it is an emotional connection with you so meaningful that it contains her very soul.   Though d/s is often very light and spontaneous and sometimes treated as a special sensual playtime, for her it is what is most real in her life.   It is NOT a game.   To treat it as such is to do her a great injustice for it trivializes her greatest expression of love.

Not all women want to be a 24/7 slavegirl.   This manual is written for to the man luckily enough to have found a woman who does.   In it I will try and express as many of her submissive feelings as I can and to give you ideas on how to treat her so she feels that being your slave is an intrinsic and natural part of her daily life with you, just as much as it has already been an intrinsic element of her being.

Submission is Erotic

Before I get lost in some of the reasons why being submissive is such a powerful desire, I want to make the point that being submissive is extremely erotic.   It touches her sexuality in the most powerful way and when combined with all the mental, emotional and physical aspects of a relationship, it can often be the most sexually intense and emotionally fulfilling experience a woman can ever have.   In fact, many women have confided in me that they are afraid of the intensity of their sexual energy.   They fear they should they reveal the full extent of their sexual excitement at being a slavegirl they will not be understood.   Often, the smallest of looks or commands will leave them drenched with sexual excitement.   As her Master, it should be your pleasure to extract each nuance of sexual pleasure from her.

When she gives herself to you completely, she is also giving you the freedom to explore the depths of her sexuality and passion, to take her places she cannot go herself, to have experiences she probably cannot ask for.   She is depending on you, her Master, to give her the push to get beyond any resistance you may encounter.

Getting past resistance is where your strength and understanding as a Dom is essential.   If you back off instead of encouraging her onward (by spank or by praise) she will not be able to explore the depths of herself.   She needs your unconditional love and support to feel safe to go where she cannot go alone.   As you sexually open her body to you, you are also opening her heart and soul.

Though changing rapidly, most women have been raised to be ashamed of their sexual feelings.   Being with a Dom who treasures a woman’s natural sexuality enough to go far beyond where most stop is an extremely liberating experience for her.   It also touches upon her desire to be able to reveal herself as she truly is as you help her by removing her falsely imposed conditioning.   Even if she cannot ask, it is important to understand that the sub *wants* to overcome her resistance as much as the Dom wants her to.

As your relationship grows and she becomes more comfortable and trusting in her knowledge that you understand her feelings, she will find it easier to admit certain sexual desires to you.   From time to time, have her tell you a “secret” fantasy of hers, or give her the assignment of writing you a short fantasy.   It’s often easier to put something in writing than to have to say it verbally…

Another way you can free her sexuality is to have her admit to you how exciting a certain activity is for her.   If you are giving her an erotic spanking, have her tell you how much she loves it.   “Begging” can also be a way to encourage her to express herself.   If you suspect she enjoys anal play more than she can admit, hold the bottom plug against her opening but don’t insert it until she “begs” you to have it slipped inside her.   In this way you are “forcing” her to make an admission she probably wants to make, but is too embarrassed to share with you on her own.

Being Taken Care of

“I always found the d/s articles to be the most exciting.   I found the men - their strength and command - highly erotic.   I thought that being that “taken care of” must have been the most wonderful thing in the world.   The Doms I talk to are forever asking me about this, I always tell them it’s not the ritual (though I like the ritual) or the punishment that I’m looking for, it’s the freedom to not have to be in control, to not have responsibility.   I guess that’s because, in most of my social circles, I’m the person who’s expected to have all the answers.“

A woman wants a man to be strong and to protect and watch over her.   She wants to be able to relax in the safety of his arms and the world that he creates for her.   If you can do that for a woman, you will see something inside her blossom and grow, and you will marvel at the treasure you have discovered that was always inside her but which she never felt safe to reveal, so afraid was she that it would not be appreciated for the incredible gift which it is.

Knowing she has your Love and Care and Attention

Part of her feeling of being taken care of by you is knowing that she has certain rules and limits for herself.   If she disobeys them, she expects to be disciplined.   When you are correcting her behavior by a punishment of some kind, several things are happening.   The first is that you care enough for her to correct her.   It is proof to her that she has your attention and you are watching over her, making sure she does what is best for herself.

If it was a task or command of your own that she disobeyed, then your punishment leaves no doubt in her mind that she must obey you and that allows her to feel secure in her submission to you.   If you set rules for her then never check to see they are followed, your message to her is that she is not worth the effort it takes to see that she has obeyed.   You are unconsciously saying she does not deserve your attention.   This lack of attention may touch many emotions in her going back to her childhood years…

This is an area where the formality of the d/s roles can enhance a relationship in incredible ways.   As the Dom, you want your rules obeyed and she wants to obey them and be recognized for her desire to please you.   If she “overlooks” a rule it is often a test to see if you care enough to catch it, and for you it is an opportunity to show her that she will not be allowed to get away with anything.   The stricter you are in supervising her, the more she will feel your attention and the happier she will be.

Stripping away the Pretenses

“The real experience, seems to me to be when the Dom and the sub (each in his or her own way) reveal themselves to each other completely with total trust that they will be accepted EXACTLY where they are at.   We do not have the right to expect our person to admire every single trait of ours, but we do have a right to unconditional love.   “We can find people who are pretending they are someone other than who they are anywhere, the whole point of d/s is to strip away the pretense, the little secrets about ourselves that we are convinced that nobody could ever love us if they knew about.”

The following short exchange that may give you a better idea of how the exchange of power and her trust in you lets you find her true essence:

Me:   It’s all an exchange of power.   The sub has lots of control, but the thrill is in giving that up in order to go new places inside herself. Her:   Honestly…   I don’t believe that in good d/s relationship that the sub is in control.   My Master taught me that he could make me want things that I swore, initially that I had no interest in wanting.   He really did control me, because he found the me I couldn’t always find myself.

A Transition to the other side of Oneself

One marvelous aspect of submission is that it is a wonderful way to escape from yourself.   The transition to that other side of your personality can be very exciting and sometimes difficult, but that’s part of the thrill.   During the day different aspects of our personality come into the forefront as we move from one role to another.   For example, there may be a big difference in one’s personality at work as compared to home.   Keeping up these roles requires a large amount of psychic energy which over time can become exhausted.   On of the great attractions to d/s is this balancing of energy by experiencing the opposite role.

At work, your sub may be very powerful and dominant and carrying a great deal of responsibility.   Being a mother at home is tremendously demanding and requires a great deal of energy in caring for and supervising the children.   If she has spent her day instructing and inspecting others, she may crave the transition from that position of authority to one of servitude.   When she can become your slavegirl, she gets a relaxing respite from the stresses of her life.   She can renew herself by once again becoming a little girl who is loved and looked after.   Instead of having to cope with the stress of making decisions she can surrender to you and do exactly as she is told knowing she is safe in your care.

Being a Master

If you truly want to be a Master, you will do everything in your power to enable your woman to be who she really is, and that is a woman full of love and sensuality and passion and who wants nothing more than to be free and safe enough to show you the full extent of it.   Few men deserve the title of Master and part of what it takes is a true love of women and an appreciation of their intelligence, sensuality and passion for life, and then to have the strength and confidence to bring out the best in her.   Please, if you love her, make her life as your slave as complete and as real as you can.

She cannot be Submissive if you are not Dominant

One thing of PARAMOUNT importance is that your slavegirl feel that she is truly being controlled and is acting on *your* commands, and is subject to *your* whims.   If she feels your actions are for her alone, she will feel in control of the situation and this is exactly what she does NOT want to feel.   In order for her to be submissive, YOU must be in charge of her in a very real and definite way.   Remember that this manual is written for the sub who wants her submission to be a daily part of her life and the more she feels she is under your control and care, the happier a slavegirl she will be.   It is very confusing for her if your control is just within the context of a scene and does not carry over into the rest of your relationship.   It will help if you think of your control as being an integral part of your relationship rather than an “imposition” on her.   The more you see her enthusiasm and gratitude in response to your actions, the easier it will become for you.

Never forget that her desire to please her Master is an essential element of her submission.   Though you both know she loves to have the experiences you are giving her, she MUST feel that it’s for your pleasure equally, if not more than her own.   Being submissive is her gift to you, a way of pleasing you as completely as possible.   If she thinks your control of her is only for *her*, it just doesn’t work.   She wants to be your slave, to feel she has no choice in what she is subjected to and this REALITY regarding her submission is tremendously thrilling for her.

Recognizing her efforts to Please

“The most “protected and cared for” I ever felt was when my Dom called me “princess” (I wonder if that is something going back to childhood…)“   If there is one single-most favorite phrase a submissive woman wants to hear, it is “Good Girl”. She wants and needs to have her efforts to please you acknowledged.   It is very difficult for men to understand that pleasing the man she loves is to her one of the greatest pleasures in her life.   It is an emotional fulfillment so deep that it goes far beyond any sexual expression.   By giving her your praise as frequently as possible you are confirming that you recognize and appreciate her for who she is and for the love she has to give you.

Difficulty in Asking

You must take the initiative with her.   If she has to “ask” you to control her, it once again puts her in charge and does not allow her to feel submissive.   As a Master, you get to indulge yourself in what *you* want! Give yourself permission to act on your whim of the moment.   Believe me, to a sub, this is when it all becomes very real and meaningful to her.   There will be no doubt in her mind that you want her for *yourself* and whether or not she enjoys it is secondary.   Only in this way can she feel that she truly belongs to you and is there to serve you.   If you are going to experiment in taking charge, err on the side of being more controlling than less.   I can’t tell you how many women I have complained that their Masters don’t give them the control and supervision they crave.   Remember, your control is a demonstration of taking care of her and your discipline is proof that you are paying attention and will insist she does what is best for herself.

How to make her feel Owned

The feeling of being owned is one of the most secure and desired feelings a sub can have.   She wants to be reminded at all times that you are in control of her and that she is safe and watched over under your command.   She *wants* you to be strong for her, so she can grow under your care and guidance.   Think for a moment of the potential your relationship with a woman who loves and trusts you so much that she wants to be *owned* by you…   What closer bond can you have?

There are many ways to make her feel that she belongs to you and I will share with you some of my favorites.   Ask her often, “Who do you belong to?”   Not only does this strengthen the depth of your relationship but many women have told me it is very erotic for them to be told to touch and name different parts of their body and then tell you it belongs to you.

Here’s a quote that will make this clearer:   “Personally I *love* it when various parts of my anatomy are called upon.   For example, during a spanking, I like to be reminded that this is Master’s bottom and he can do as he wishes with it.”

How you address each other can also be confirmation of your roles.   For example, calling her by a pet name can indicate your position of authority while requiring her refer to you with some title of respect such as Sir or Master further emphasizes her submission.   Being “owned” is a total experience.   It means she is subject to your whims at any time and no reason is necessary beyond the fact it is something you want.   For her, there is great excitement and anticipation in being used for your pleasure and never knowing what your next command or task may be.   She may be fully clothed and busy one moment and naked and kneeling before you the next….

The importance of Ritual in Creating a Submissive State of Mind

A submissive state of mind is very much an altered state of awareness.   Listen to the quality of her voice change the moment she knows you are actively controlling her.   You may find it grows softer and quieter as she lets slip away the more assertive aspects of her personality, showing you that vulnerable young girl within.   It is often a dramatic transformation and one that at times may leave her very non-verbal.   This state of deep submission is sometimes refereed to as subspace.   It is *the* place where she wants to be and the deeper you can take her, the more intense everything becomes for her.   You can make it easier for her to go into subspace by the use of ritual.   Keeping a certain formality and pattern when leading her into a scene makes it easy for her to recall past events and more easily slip back into a previous deep submissive state.

Building her anticipation for an event is a wonderful way to give her time to get into her submissive head space.   It let’s her imagination come into play and builds up her sexual arousal as she tries to envision what you have in mind for her.   Try telling her firmly to be in your study at a certain time without saying why.   In the meantime, she can indulge in her submissive feelings by wondering what she may or may not have done and she’ll be imagining herself being subjected to all kinds of marvelous things.   Or, in great detail tell her *exactly* what will happen to her at a point in the near future then forbid her to mention it.   See how this works?

There are an almost infinite number of ways to make her feel submissive.   Position and symbology play a great part.   Perhaps the most effective is to place her in a collar.   A collar is a very powerful symbol of ownership, love and commitment and should be treated with great respect.   When she wears your collar she is telling you that she is yours completely and will try as hard as she can to please you in whatever you may ask of her.   It will always be in her mind that she wears her collar for *you*.

Having her assume certain standard slave positions is a way to both signal her that you are now moving into a more formal role with each other and also allow her to return to quickly enter a submissive state of mind.

I like to enhance her state of submission by the use of a unique perfume.   Have her wear it each time you have a special scene with her.   In this way, the scent becomes identified with her submission and the next time she smells it, she will be more easily transported back into the depths that she had reached during your previous scenes.

Attention to Detail

Your attention to detail is important.   You know what you want her to do and it’s important that you communicate that clearly to her.   Beyond that, it has several other purposes.   Not only does it focus her attention on you, but it lets her every day thoughts and stresses in her life fall away, and this is a wonderful escape for her.   As her Master, you want to give her tasks that draw out her submission and if she does allow herself to be distracted, her attention needs to be brought back to you with a few quick swats.   This also allows her to feel that she has *your* attention as much as she has yours.

Limits and Rules

The Desire for Structure A submissive woman often craves more “structure” in her life and there can be many reasons for this.   If her parents acted inconsistently with her, it can often created the longing to know where she stands in relation to them and what is expected from her.   Never knowing what is acceptable and what is not can be a very confusing situation for a child.   By giving your sub very clear limits and rules on her behavior, you are now creating an environment for her where she can relax and be secure in the knowledge of what is expected of her and how she can best please you.

Testing Limits

Setting rules and limits for your slavegirl is extremely important for it is within these boundaries she feels most cared for.   As part of her feeling secure within the relationship, she needs – even unconsciously – to test her limits.   This is an extremely important point.   If she breaks a rule and you let it slide without bringing it to her attention, you are not allowing her to feel safe within your care.   She can’t feel safe within your limits, if the limits are not there or are vague.   This testing process is something that never really stops though at first she will feel the need to test you often until she learns that you will follow through.   The sooner you do that, the quicker she will feel the reality of your concern for her.

A submissive woman *wants* a strong Master, one who sets guidelines on her behavior that are for her own good and then who has the strength and authority to be sure they are followed.   It’s almost impossible for me to emphasize how important a point this is.   The most common and biggest complaint I am told by submissive women is that their Masters are not “strict” enough.   Inconsistency on your part is see by her as a sign of weakness, and she cannot feel submissive to a weak man.

Be Consistent

Remember that her greatest desire is to feel that she has lost control to you and must do as she is told.   If she does not do exactly as instructed she wants to know there will be a consequence, for if there is not, she will not feel your control of her is real.   If you let her down by allowing her to get away with breaking her rules, she will feel that your control over her is not real.   It’s like saying you don’t care for her enough to watch over her and she will feel a very definite lack of attention from you.

Some Examples of Rules and Limits

The kinds of rules and limits you set for your slavegirl depend on your wishes and insight as to what you feel is best for her, taking into great consideration her goals for herself.   I would suggest that in the beginning, the fewer rules you have for her the better.   This way she can be very clear on what is expected of her and it will make it easier for you to enforce them.   Sit down with her and discuss the rules you feel she needs.   I think you’ll find she knows exactly what they are and will welcome your help in “assisting” her to accomplish them.

Household chores are a good starting point.   Make a list of daily chores for her and see that they are done such as making the bed, all kitchen dishes put away, etc.   Hold frequent inspections. Remember, she will need to test you very much at first and only when she feels sure she’ll be disciplined for not doing them will she be able to get them done knowing she has no choice about it – which will be a tremendous relief to her.

Here is a quote that shows the subs desire for having rules:   “I am very good at "rules”… I like to feel like the man has control in many ways.   Not in my work life or who I can talk to and such but in our personal relationship.   Little things like what I am to wear when with him… or certain behaviors I am supposed to follow… my Dom used to have me kneel as soon as we were alone together, and riding in the car I was to always have my skirt hiked up. “

Spankings and Discipline

It is very thrilling for your sub to know she is subject to your discipline.   She wants rules and limits set for her and knows that there will be consequences for not obeying them.   If there are no consequence then she cannot feel the control that she longs for.   Accepting a spanking where the focus is on correcting her behavior rather than for her own pleasure is proof of her submission to you.   It makes your control of her very real.   There is a big distinction between a spanking given for the pure enjoyment of it and one given as punishment.   Though many pleasure spankings are given under the guise of a punishment for misbehaving, it’s clear that the focus is on its eroticism and the "punishment” aspect is just a pretense.

Some submissive women would never want a spanking they thought was given as a punishment.   For them, it is a completely pleasurable experience and they don’t want them to be associated with a punishment” in any form.

However, there are some submissive women who *love* to be spanked as a punishment and there are several reasons for this.   We all grew up knowing that spankings were given as a punishment and though now as adults we find them pleasurable, the connection between spankings and punishment still remains and can be a very hot erotic trigger for the sub.   If she started having spanking fantasies at a young age when having your bottom paddled and being punished are one in the same, they will often revolve around the idea of being punished for some reason, whether real or imagined.

Due to societies generally negative view of d/s and s/m, many women who crave a spanking or whipping often have great conflicts about it, wondering how they could possibly be so “strange” or “weird”.   It is often not an easy admission to make, so it’s much easier to rationalize the desire for a spanking by connecting it to a wrong doing in order to “earn” a spanking rather than having the freedom to simply ask their lover for one.

The Desire to be Perfect

There is a tendency in some submissive women to be “perfect”.   Though this can be an admirable goal, it can often be taken to extremes and that’s something to be aware of.   I am now talking about the desire to strive to improve, to make an effort to do the best job possible, and as we know, that takes a great deal of energy.   Here is a quote that illustrates this point: “I started thinking about why punishment appealed to me and I wasn’t sure if it was just another way to test limits… or the thought of the luxury of having something to “make” me do the things I really want to do anyway… but, instead, I allow life (work, fatigue) get in the way.   “I have very high expectations for myself… I am lucky in the fact that I am intelligent and beautiful… but I think given these "gifts” that they should be utilized to the fullest extent…“

A submissive woman like this wants to be "pushed” into making a greater effort with herself.   She knows what she is capable of achieving and wants help in making it a reality.   To me, this is one of the most positive aspects of spankings treated as a punishment.   As her Master, your responsibility is to take care of her and to see she does what is best for her.   You need to work with her to be sure her rules and limits are for her own benefit and help her to meet her own personal goals.   If structured this way, the focus of the spanking is not because she was “bad”, but rather she is being spanked to help her improve herself.   In this way, your discipline of her is another way you can show her you love and care.

Here is a quote from a woman who loves the thought of being punished for not meeting her own standards of behavior for herself.

“One of my fantasies is to have someone in my life just for the purpose of correcting my faults.   He would make me keep a list of all my misbehaviors.   Being lazy at work, or late.   Eating junk food, or not going to the gym.   Being rude to people unnecessarily.   I would have to keep a list, and once a week he would come and read the list.   Or more.   And he would make me describe each incident, he would lecture me about it, he would establish a separate punishment for each offense on the list.   And I would be told over and over what I’m being punished for, or would be required to recite it to him.   Twelve swats of the paddle for this.   Six strokes of the cane for that, you know.   He would read them off the list in random order, call me out of the corner at any moment to take my next licking, send me back to the corner afterwards.”

This is one of my favorite quotes because it so clearly illustrates the connection between behavior and its punishment.   There is no doubt in her mind on why she is being punished and she accepts her punishment knowing how much it will help her to improve her behavior in the future.

For a sub, it is quite a luxury to have a disciplinarian in their life and to not have to rely solely on their own will-power.   We all have chores to do that are not particularly enjoyable and if left undone it weighs on our minds and becomes a burden.   As her Master, you can provide the “incentive” she needs to get what needs to be done finished and out of the way so it does not hang over her and drain her energy.

The thought and anticipation of being punished for not doing something is often extremely exciting and this enables the sub to tap into her sexual energy to complete her chores.   For example, scrubbing the kitchen floor is not much fun but the knowledge that she’s in for a good spanking if it’s not completed can add tremendous sexual energy to her task.

You can also assist her in this by telling her that her work will be “inspected” and if not found adequate she’ll be disciplined.   By the way, the word “inspection” is a very *hot* trigger for most subs.   Knowing her work will be reviewed helps her to focus on the task at hand to do the kind of quality job she really wants to do but has to struggle with finding sufficient energy.

Punishment as a way of Absolution and Forgiveness

Another aspect of being “punished” is that it allows her to let go of any self-imposed “guilt” over her behavior.   This is especially important for those women who strive to be perfect and have the tendency to be self-critical.   This can be compounded if she was raised in an environment where past mistakes were never forgotten but were continually brought to her attention.   When she is punished, she can face her mistake, accept her punishment as a motivation to improve (not for being “bad”), be completely forgiven and then to happily move on.

Some Cautions over Punishment Spankings

Since a punishment spanking is going to be harder for her to endure than one given for pleasure, you want to be sure she is in the right mental head space for taking one.   In other words, she must feel the spanking is deserved, so my advice here is never punish her for something left unclear.   Make your rules very clear and specific so she knows *exactly* when she is breaking them.   If it helps, set time deadlines so she can’t claim she was “just going to do it.”   Another caution here about being consistent.   If you punished her one week for breaking a rule and let the same infraction go the next, you are giving her very mixed and confusing signals which will make it difficult for her to take your control seriously, and this will have very negative consequences to both your roles.   She will need to test you until she feels secure you are going to follow through so *be consistent* – this is extremely important.

Preparing her for Punishment

A punishment spanking is often more filled with ritual than most any other scene and draws very much on her anticipation of an event that she knows will be a test and challenge to her.   Sending to her room to await you should excite her greatly even though she knows the spanking may not be that enjoyable.   Making *her* fetch the implement used in her correction is an added erotic embarrassment.   You may want to have her strip in advance and go to the corner to reflect upon her infraction and what steps she is going to take in the future to avoid a similar lapse.   Or, you may want to have her place herself face down on the bed with a pillow under her hips and paddle beside her.   If you want to see just how exciting the anticipation of a punishment can be, have her wait at least 10 minutes before you come into the room and then check her for wetness.

You may want to lecture her on her behavior, emphasizing *exactly* what she did to earn this correction, and during the spanking itself, pause several times and give her the chance to promise better behavior in the future.   This is important as it keep the emphasis on the punishment as motivation to improve her behavior and not because she was “bad” or displeased you for not getting it done.

The focus of a punishment spanking is less on her pleasure (even though it will at least initially be very exciting) so you may want to give her less of a warm up than usual before increasing the intensity of the spanking.   If you tell her in advance how many strokes she is to be given it may help her to endure the spanking knowing when the end will come.   If this is the second spanking for the same offense, be sure to increase the number of spanks so she gets the idea that a future lapse will be met with more severity.

As further confirmation of your roles, after the spanking she should thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline her, and then it’s up to you if you want to ravish her or send her to the corner!   The point I’m making here is that even though this is “punishment” there’s no reason it can’t end in pleasure for her.   After all, she has been “punished” and all is forgiven.

Some alternate punishments may be requiring her to write a certain number of punishment lines.   This is more of a childhood punishment but is very effective as it has less eroticism connected with it than a spanking.

How to enjoy your slave (in ways she or she’ll love)

Here are some suggestions on how to enjoy your slavegirl, get your way, and at the same time emphasize the depths of her submission.

Exploring Embarrassment

One wonderful aspect of d/s is that it lets you explore so many emotions in safety.   When done with love and care, embarrassing your slavegirl can be an extremely intense experience for her and one that will make her feel very controlled.   When you give her an embarrassing task and she obeys, it is a way you can both feel the strength of your respective roles.   Her obedience in being embarrassed proves to you both that she is your slavegirl and will do whatever you ask of her.   As her Master, you want to think of as many ways as possible to demonstrate this and you will feel that your control of her is as complete as possible.   Many ideas for increasing the depths of her submission utilize embarrassment in one form or another.   One point to keep in mind is not to intrude upon the privacy of other people who do not understand the kinds of exploration that goes on in a d/s relationship.   Be creative and you will find many ways she can be thoroughly embarrassed in front of others while being the only one that knows the real reason she is acting as she is.

Positions

There is a direct connection between your subs physical position and her mental/emotional state.   Kneeling before you will instantly put her in a submissive state.   Have fun exploring positions and be sure she maintains the proper position and keeps good posture at all times.   If you are relaxing on the couch reading or watching TV, call her over to you, perhaps you will use a “pet” name for her as a signal that she is now your slavegirl and has no choice but to obey.   Tell her to kneel at your feet for awhile and that she is not to move or speak until given permission.   Have her pay attention to her posture, and if she slouches give her a correction of some kind.   Perhaps putting her over your lap for a few quick spanks before having her resume her position or by simply giving her nipples a few pinches.   Of course, the next time she gets careless with her posture, the correction will be a bit stronger.   In this way, she will know that she is there just for you and that though you don’t feel it necessary to be actively engaged with her, she also knows that you are paying attention to her and are enjoying her company.

Another suggestion would be to put her on shoulders and knees in front of you and bare her bottom.   She is your slavegirl and if you want to enjoy her feminine charms you may at any time.   You might also tell her to reach back and spread her cheeks so you can better enjoy the sight of your little pleasure slave.   If you wish, tease her a little with some caresses and then go back to your book or television program.

One of my favorite activities is to have a crop handy and on occasion to give her a few nice swats for no reason other than you enjoy seeing a few stripes on her cheeks.   She will LOVE this and it makes clear that you enjoy giving her these sensations as much as she loves receiving them.   I’m sure you will notice an instant sexual reaction to being subject to your control in this way.   Crops are wonderful because not only can you redden her bottom with them, you can also use them to tease and caress her pussy.   Alternate a few more strokes with pleasuring her and then as a wonderful embarrassment, moisten the tip of the crop with her wetness and gently press it against her lips and have her lick it clean.   In this way, she has to admit to herself how excited she is by what you are doing to her.   You are reminding both her and yourself of how much she loves being your slavegirl and she no longer has to “hide” the intensity of her sexual reactions to being your slave.

Focusing her Attention

To send her even deeper in her submission, focus her attention.   For example, while she is still on shoulders and knees, balance the crop across her hips and tell her she is to not let it fall.   So now, not only is she in this sexual and submissive position, but she must concentrate on obeying *your* command and this lets her focus on you and allows her to demonstrate just how important obeying you is to her.   Of course, I don’t need to tell you what should happen if she does squirm and let’s the crop fall, do I?   The only question here is does she get just six strokes or twelve?   A very erotic example of focusing her attention is to instruct her to keep her nipples hard for you during a specific playtime.

Focusing her attention on you is very important for it let’s her draw on her real desire to please you by being a good slavegirl.   This is both a challenge to her and also something she very much wants to do.   Much of the formality of d/s is to find ways you can both very clearly express your care for each other.

A Sweet Torment

Another very exciting idea is to place her in this shoulders and knees position and to play with her sexually.   Enjoy her slight moans of pleasure for awhile and then firmly tell her she is not to make any sound at all as you continue to tease and caress her.   Be very clear that if she breaks your rule, there will be a consequence… Such a sweet torment, isn’t it?   If she reaches the level of excitement where she does let a moan of pleasure escape her, you have the choice of going back to your book for a time leaving her to await your touch or to “punish” her with a nice spanking before resuming.   This is the kind of spanking that I personally love the most.   It is a “punishment” for moaning, but it is also for her pleasure and yours.   Of course, the spanking will only excite her all the more and make it even more difficult to keep silent as you instructed – but that’s the whole idea!

Ice

Since I like this image so much, I’ll continue a bit further!   The next time she moans, have her bring you some ice cubes and then get back in position.   If her bottom is sufficiently warm at this point slowly rub the ice cube over her reddened cheeks.   For many women, this is an exquisite sensation.   Just a quick aside here… this is a good example of something she may *want* to experience but cannot ask for.   This is where your strength, initiative and creativity as a Master all come into play.   Don’t be afraid to experiment with giving her new sensations.

As the ice becomes smoother, rub it slowly over her inner lips and pussy.   You may chose to insert it into her vagina or if it is sufficiently small and smooth slide it slowly into her tight little bottom.

Asking Permission

Another way you can constantly remind her that she is under your control is by having her ask your permission.   The more of her own independent action is restricted, the more her submission will increase.   One example that emphasizes this as well as serving as a subtle embarrassment is to have her ask your permission to visit the bathroom.   This touches upon the idea of her losing certain personal privacies which can increase the intimate bond between you both.   If she blushes, it’s a good sign!

If you take her out to a restaurant take away her menu and decide on her meal yourself.   This will not only increase her submission to you, but also relieves her of having to make a decision for herself.

Another very romantic and even more embarrassing experience for her would be to order nothing for her and then feed her from your own plate.   From time to time, place a tasty morsel on your fork and have her lean forward to take it from your hand.   I think this is a very sweet way for her to feel close and dependent upon you.

It’s very common not to allow a sub to climax without first being given permission.   She is “allowed” pleasure only upon your command which will emphasize your control over her.   It also increases the anticipation of finally being given permission which can hold her on the edge of a climax for an extended period which will build its intensity.

Not only may she not climax without permission, but she may not even be allowed to touch herself without permission.   By setting this rule for her, you are making her admit her desire to touch herself by asking for your permission which is also a way for you to know how excited she has become by your commands.

You may want to try holding her right at the edge of a climax and then order her to come for you in a commanding tone of voice.   You may find this has a remarkable effect.   Some women have the ability to be trained to climax on command and there are various techniques that can be used to accomplish this though I won’t go into them in this document.

Pulling her Hair

One very *hot* erotic trigger for many subs is having their hair pulled.   Not in a hurtful way, but as a very sensual experience.   For many women, this can be an extremely powerful turn on and you may be surprised by her reaction.   Call her over to you and caress her hair for a moment before gathering it up in your hands before firmly pulling her face toward you for a passionate kiss – she will melt in a puddle on the floor!

Treating her as a Cherished Pet

Many submissive women love being treated as a pet.   We all know how much love and attention our pets receive and it should be thrillingly embarrassing and sweet – not at all degrading.   Pet’s are often kept on a collar and leash too, aren’t they?   Try this on a special evening together.   Have her undress and kneel before you.   Tell her she is to be your pet for the evening and lovingly place her collar upon her and attach her leash to it.   Tell her she is to be your sweet little kitty and is not allowed to speak unless given permission.   Instead, she must meow and purr to you.

One very erotic idea is to have her purr and meow for you as you caress her.   Perhaps, if your loved pet is in “heat”, have her rub her little pussy against your leg as a way of begging for more attention.   Be sure to bring her to a climax while allowing only mews of pleasure…

It is an incredible feeling to have a woman you love and who loves you napping at your feet while you hold her leash in your hand.   Make a little nest of pillows and blankets in a corner and make that her special place.   As a pet, she is not allowed to stand or to use the furniture.   Perhaps you’ll put out a little saucer of milk for her to lap…

A theme such is this gets very much into role-play which can be a wonderful escape from the stress of your lives.   It is a unique time when you can forget about being adults and return to the innocent and creative play of children.

Like all my writings, this is more for myself than anyone else.   Dominance and submission (D/s) has always been a part of my life, both my greatest torment when not understood by either myself and those I shared my thoughts with, and finally the source of greatest contentment and pride when I finally realized how beautiful and loving an exchange it is.   In a way, it is impossible to describe or explain it to another unless that person has the creativity and capacity to see its full potential to draw two people so close together that *everything* they have inside of them can be revealed and that is when they can be loved unconditionally and completely.

The only rule to d/s is that there are no rules.   What each sub wants is different and takes varying forms.   I am writing this with a particular sub in mind, and that is the kind of woman who is so full of love that she longs to give herself unreservedly to her Master.   It is written for those women who want to be a full-time slavegirl, who enjoy the sensual pleasures of being spanked (and more!) and who want to be disciplined when they do not meet their own personal goals and the guidelines for behaviour set by their Master.

I don’t know the submissive that wrote this but when I find her I will credit her and thank her for sharing her insights with us all at Beautifully Bound.

If you want to share this you are more than welcome but please do the right thing and hit the REBLOG button rather than copy & paste it. Sir & I would greatly appreciate it.

Singapore

Currently at malaysia

Can you truly keep a slave?

Femdom Punishment Ideas...

By Mistress Kylie,

This post contains all of the ideas I have been able to come up with or find on the internet for female-dominant, male-submissive scenes…

You’ll probably notice that a lot of the ideas are designed for use over many days and are associated with orgasm control. This theme emerged over time because orgasm control is so effective at heightening male desire. We use this list in a very simple framework when setting up scenes. First she picks one or more of the ideas below (either by hand or randomly) and makes rules and tasks out of them. Then, after a few days of suffering through them and pushing me to peak sensitivity, the frequency of rules and tasks increases (over a weekend, for example) and she adapts punishments from the list (or comes up with them on her own) to achieve a good, intense session.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy them and they inspire ideas of your own! Please note, though, that we haven’t tried all of them. Some of them may not be practical.

1) Hold Pennies Against the Wall

This task is very hard: have him hold pennies against the wall using only his fingertips — one penny per finger. Depending on how you position his arms, this can be easy or extremely difficult. Arms spread wide apart forces him to get his face very close to the wall and will tire his arms quickly. Same with his hands being very high up.

For every penny that drops, punish him. Keep the punishments severe enough that he really fears dropping a penny.

You can also make him hold a penny against the wall using his erect cock. This will force him to keep himself hard.

2) Controlled Orgasms

Rules that control his orgasms are the most effective and psychologically impactful rules you can impose. These rules also become good excuses for torment and punishment. The mix of wanting to orgasm and facing big punishments feels very exciting.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to earn orgasms –> After you have had five orgasms, he gets one. –> He chooses to undergo a punishment or humiliation in order to flip a coin. Heads grants him an orgasm. Tails gets him another punishment or humiliation –> He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the “perfect slave.” These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

He must ask permission prior to orgasm.

He is allowed to orgasm, but doing so carries an automatic set of punishments or humiliations.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

You pretend to believe that he will take any opportunity to have an orgasm, and go to great lengths to prevent it (chastity belt, lots of restraints, careful supervision).

After every orgasm, he must collect his semen and do something embarrassing with it.

Come up with a “training regimen” to teach him to resist orgasm. He wears a chastity belt until he can resist your best efforts to get him to come while you reach two or three orgasms.

He is forbidden to clean up his own semen if it lands on him.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn’t mean he needs a lot of them.)

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of a promised orgasm, he has to edge instead and thank you at the end as if he had an orgasm.

Lengthen the time he has to wear the chastity belt.

Treat pre-cum as orgasms for punishment purposes.

Warn him about a severe punishment if he orgasms, then tie him down and ride him until he does.

During the time when he is permitted to orgasm, position his body so that he can’t prevent himself from coming on himself.–>Make him put his knees on the wall behind him so that his cock points toward his face

If you are on top and he comes, keep going. The sensory overload is really overpowering. Even though it feels great, it’s a good “mean” thing to do to him.

Punishment Ideas

Remember that if your slave just had an orgasm without permission, he’s less in the mood than he was before. So instead of a regular punishment, pick one that is more severe, and execute it after he’s back in the mood (possibly the next day).

Make him write out a coupon for a certain number of days spent in a chastity belt. Spend it whenever you like. If he picks a number that is lower than what you picked, make him choose again and double his next result. (You can choose to have him give you a number of orgasms instead of a number of days.)

If he comes inside of you, sit on his chest while his semen drains out of you. Tie him up until it dries.

Chain a heavy weight to his chastity belt for a while, giving him something he either has to drag by his balls or deal with as he does other tasks for you.

3) Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing someone very close to the point of orgasm and then baking off. It’s usually done repeatedly, which both increases sexual need and results in the closest thing to multiple orgasms for a man. You can force your Slave to edge himself a few times to increase his sexual need. Or, you can do it to him and punish him if he orgasms. This will force him to resist orgasm.

4) Must Volunteer Information

This is similar to the “Must Not Lie” rule, but forces him to give you extra details whenever he’s answering a question. It can be very useful, because he has to actively think about what other secrets he can divulge. Use it to force him to keep you aware of the things he’s thinking about.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must tell you when he’s horny

He must go into detail about what he wants sexually and why

Whenever he’s asked a question, he has to answer it, and then say “Also…” and add more details.

He must try to help you come up with more effective punishments, more humiliating tasks, and tell you how he might try to get out of obeying you

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Since you can’t read his mind, there’s no way to know if he’s holding something back. Rely on punishments if you find out that he didn’t tell you something.

Punishment Ideas

This is a rule that focuses on helplessness and humiliation. It’s also oral, since he has to tell you things. If you catch him leaving something out, punish him accordingly.

Make him write out several punishments and rank them according to desirability. Pick one or more for him to go through.

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

Take away his right to speak for a while. Use a ball gag or tape if necessary.

Tell him to apologize. Don’t accept his apology until he recommends a good physical punishment or humiliation for you to employ.

5) Must Keep Legs Spread

Here is a very simple rule that is designed to keep things awkward for him and emphasize that his cock and balls belong to you. Usually the rule is that his legs can’t touch his cock or balls while you are in the room. Tell him that you want to see his balls hanging down.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must keep his legs spread whenever you are within reach of his genitals

He must spread his legs on command

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must keep his legs spread at all times, just in case.

Tie his legs up by the knees and spread them out. Then tease him by doing things to him that would make him want to close his legs

Punishment Ideas

Breaking this rule is all about not giving you access to his cock and balls, or about him not putting them on display for you. Punish him accordingly.

Tie his ankles to his wrists. Then tie his elbows to his knees. Last, pull his cock and balls behind his legs and tie his legs together so that they are trapped down by his butt. Now he gets to keep his legs closed, but you have full access to the genitals. Torture them for a while until he becomes more compliant.

Since he won’t put his genitals on display on his own, take away all his clothes and tie him up in a full-body rope harness. That way he can stay on display for you until you get tired of him.

6) Must Obey

Make it unconditional that he has to obey you, or anyone you specify, and punish him if he doesn’t do it promptly or well. This is one of those rules that you’ll talk about a lot, bringing it up to him to remind him that he doesn’t have a choice (or that you’ll punish him severely) if he doesn’t obey.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Have him acknowledge every command with “yes ma’am,” “yes, mistress,” or similar.

Give him a time limit to obey. For example, he might get punished for not jumping to do what you say within three seconds.

If he’s being forced to obey someone else, have him ask that person to give you an evaluation of how well he did.

Test him by giving him a list of things to do while you are away. Demand proof that he did them.

Come up with a word you can use to tell him that you are giving him an order while he’s in public so that others aren’t aware that you’re giving him a command to obey.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Dramatically increase the number of things he has to do so that he’s kept very busy

Use toys, locks, and complicated tasks to make obeying very hard, such as –> Blindfolding him, then telling him to get a specific item that can only be identified by sight –> Chaining up his hands and then giving him something to type (with his tongue?) –> Give him an enema, and tell him he can’t release it until a task is done.

Give him tedious tasks, like writing out a sentence fifty times.

Punishment Ideas

Failure to obey you should carry the harshest punishments. The point of this game is to use punishments to force him to obey you. Therefore, the punishments have to be intense enough that doing humiliating and painful tasks is less miserable than going through with the punishments. Generally, you want to pick very painful or very humiliating punishments for this kind of error. Try to get him to call out in pain several times. He’s got a safe-word if you go too far.

Chain him up so he is completely immobile, then leave him like that for a while, maybe periodically torturing him.

Take away a sense or a privilege for a long time, such as use of his hands for 24 hours.

Add a couple extra rules to his list of rules

Make him pick a few punishments he would rather not be forced to undergo and then draw one randomly

Add a few days of slavery to his sentence

7) Must Become Hard

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Consider making him exaggerate the process so that it’s extra disruptive. Some ideas are to have him stretch out his cock, or use both hands, or kneel until it’s done.

This rule can be fun if he can’t use his hands to make himself hard. He’ll be left humping you or the furniture to comply.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When Mistress enters the room, slave has a certain amount of time to make himself hard.

On a schedule, such as once every three hours, slave has to make himself hard and present his cock for your inspection. If it’s not hard enough, or if it offends you in any way, he can be punished.

When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel, he has to become hard –> You might say, “You like skirts so much? Well, you’re going to show it!” And have him make himself hard every time he sees one on TV.

Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird,” he has to make himself hard.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of just making himself hard once, he has to become hard, become soft, and become hard again –> Add a time-limit to complete this task to make it harder.

Make it more uncomfortable for him by keeping him from freeing his cock from his clothes or adjusting it while it’s getting hard.

Forbid him to use his hands to make himself hard or simply tie his hands out of reach of his cock. This will make it much tougher, but still possible.

Make him stay hard for five minutes before he can let go of his cock or stop stimulating it.

Punishment Ideas

If he fails to become hard for you in time (or if he forgets), change the rule so that he isn’t allowed to become hard for a day. See if you can catch him breaking that rule and slap a chastity belt on him.

The next time he has to be hard on command, put him in a lot of pain by slapping at his balls with a ruler or squeezing them (or similar) while he is trying to get hard.

Make him get hard without physical contact on his cock of any kind. (This might be very difficult.) Tie him up to be sure that he can’t move, of course.

8) Must Use Specific Names

This is a rule in every slave contract: that he must refer to you by a name of your choice. You can extend this to involve other women or other people. Common examples are:

Ma’am

Mistress

My Lady

Goddess

Madam

Ideas for Normal Situations

He isn’t allowed to use your name.

He has to answer “yes, <special name>” whenever you give a command

Must call other men and women “sir” or “ma’am,” even if he knows their names.

Must be sure to state your special name before asking any question

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Once again, this rule is so common that it’s almost always in a contract. I can’t think of tougher ways to implement it.

Punishment Ideas

This rule is a vocal one, so punishments can involve the mouth or speech. But don’t let that stop you from popping him in the testicles for forgetting to say your name before a question. Just be sure to catch him every time.

Make him wear a ball gag for thirty minutes every time he forgets

Tape his mouth shut when he forgets

Make him eat or drink something (like alcohol?) every time he messes up.

Place a clothes pin on his tongue for a while

Make him hold something with his mouth

9) Must Kiss

Slave must kiss some part of Mistress under some conditions. Type of kiss, duration, and number of kisses are up to you. You could, for example, make him practice kissing until he gets it exactly right.

Body Parts to Kiss

Vagina

Ass

Feet

Hand

Mouth

Ideas for Normal Situations

You can assign different body parts to kiss under different situations. If he forgets or gets one wrong, he gets punished. For example –> He must kiss a chosen body part when you enter the room –> He must kiss your clitoris after you orgasm –> When Waking –> Before Bed –> While showering, he must constantly kiss your vagina –> When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel –> Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird.”

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must practice kissing the chosen body part. The more disobedient he has been, the longer he has to practice.

Instead of a simple kiss, you can make a complicated series of kisses that he has to get right every time.

You can put a blindfold on him before he kisses. If he misses the spot, he gets punished.

Punishment Ideas

Kissing is an oral act, so you might want punishments to involve the mouth. Here are some ideas.

Leave him in a ball gag for a period of time for every mistake he makes with this rule.

Force him to wear bright red lipstick and gloss (make his lips kissable) to remind him what his duty is.

Take away the use of his hands (using ropes or chains) and let him use his mouth as hands for a while. When he has had enough, give him a test to see if he has learned his lesson.

10) Must Wear Collar and/or Cuffs

You require your slave to wear a collar, wrist cuffs, or ankle cuffs, or any combination both as a symbol that you own him and so that you can quickly restrain him at any time.

Since the collar and cuffs can’t be ignored, it will force him to remember the situation he’s in. You might want to avoid making him wear a collar while he sleeps, but that is the only one you need to be careful about. Cuffs while sleeping are just fine.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When he gets up or gets home from work, he must lock a collar and cuffs on himself. Only you can unlock them.

He has to lock chains that hang freely from his collar and/or cuffs.

He has to sleep with wrist and/or leg cuffs on.

He has to lock himself to the bed when he goes to sleep.

He has to lock something embarrassing to his collar.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Not only does he have to lock cuffs on himself when he gets home, he has to lock his wrists together and his ankles together. You unlock him when you get home or by telling him where the key is by phone.

He must lock something very heavy to his ankle cuff. Like a locked bag of bricks, or a suitcase full of heavy items.

Make him lock himself to the toilet or to some other immovable object by running a chain behind it.

Punishment Ideas

Usually, the punishment comes from him unlocking the cuffs ahead of schedule. Sometimes this is necessary for safety or for other reasons (like a friend comes by), but you can still punish him for it. Simple restraint is perfect for that.

Run a rope or chain over a beam in the roof and raise his wrists as high as possible, maybe even making him stand on his toes. Tie it off so that he has to stand like that. Torture as desired. He won’t be able to stop you.

Before he goes to bed, make him wear short chains that either link his wrists, his ankles, or link a wrist to an ankle. You can also lock his wrists to a bondage belt.

Tie him in the frogtie and the chicken-wing tie at the same time. Torture him, make him walk on his knees and elbows, or just leave him stuck on the ground for a while.

Tie him spread-eagled on the bed. Use your imagination after that.

11) Flexibility, Strength, and Weight

I’ve combined three rules into one here. You can force him to reach (or maintain) a specific weight, achieve a certain degree of flexibility, or force him to gain strength. All of these require a test after a long period of time to see if he meets the goal. Failure needs to have a significant-enough punishment that it will push him to exercise and stretch for so many days to try to reach the goal.

It also gives you a convenient way to punish him in a way that will hurt for a long time. You can force him to do 100 situps, for example, and his ab muscles will ache for days. However, this can interfere with other games where you are pushing his body to its limits.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date.

He has to become flexible enough to perform yoga moves of your choosing

He must become strong enough to hold something heavy for a period of time

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Force him to exercise in a tedious and very challenging way, such as crawling to every room in the house fifty times.

Force him to exercise until he is too exhausted to stop you from overpowering him

Punishment Ideas

These rules require him to exercise so often and for so long that you need to have punishments that will motivate him to work through the pain and boringness of exercise over a period of weeks. Pick punishments that make him pale, or that are worse than the exercise itself.

Add a period of slavery for every pound he fails to lose by the deadline, maybe a week per pound.

Put together a list of extreme hard labor that he must do if he fails to make his goal. Make him do the work naked, in chains, or while wearing uncomfortable toys like a large butt-plug.

12) May Not Flinch

Slave is punished for flinching. Pulling away counts as resistance, just like saying “no.” You have free reign over the slave’s body. You can even make him act like he is happy when you touch him. But he can never show you the disrespect of moving away when you want to touch him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Once he realizes what you’re reaching for, he must try hard to put that body part in your easy reach, either by moving closer, removing clothes, or assuming an agreed-upon position (like putting his hands behind his head).

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Add a line in your notes or itinerary to try to get him to flinch a certain number of times each day. Once he passes the test, this rule can be dropped. But be convincing!

Tie his hands behind his back, and tie those ropes around his balls. Then try to get him to flinch. If he moves, he will yank on his balls. Train him to hold very still by trying to get him to flinch.

Add extra physical punishments or humiliation if you catch him flinching. (Two punishments instead of one, etc.)

Punishment Ideas

Tie his hands and legs very securely so that he can’t flinch. Then give him several reasons to flinch while he’s unable to. That way, he can tell the difference between when it is appropriate to flinch and when it isn’t.

Tie or wrap his hands (which are primarily used to protect body parts) in very awkward orientations so that they are not only useless, but uncomfortable or awkward. For example, tape his thumbs together and secure them to the back of his collar with a short rope.

13) May not Say a certain word

This is both a teasing rule and a very serious one. Consider these two situations:

He is not allowed to say “no” to anyone.

He is not allowed to say the word “is.”

In the first example, you make it clear that he’s expected to do whatever anyone asks. This is a straight-forward and common rule.

In the second example, you pick a common word and wait for him to forget the rule, giving you frequent opportunities to punish him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He may not use the word “no.”

He may not use personal pronouns (me, my, our) and instead has to substitute “the slave” for them.

He may not speak unless addressed by someone (asked a question, etc.)

You force him to use an embarrassing word for his cock.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He has a limit of words (or sentences) that he can say, after which he must be absolutely silent. (If you have a hard time keeping track, just count the number of times he starts talking.

He may only speak while wearing a gag or with something held in his mouth.

Punishment Ideas

This is simple: if he speaks out of turn, focus on oral punishments. Bad tastes, gags, extremely hot foods, and so on.

Gag him for a while, possibly sacrificing a meal.

Make him hold something in his mouth. (Your freshly-worn panties, a jalapeno, or a piece of soap.

Make him conduct a complicated task with his mouth (such as sorting the sex toys, sorting your panties by color, and so on.

Thanks to Mistress Kylie, Her slave & femaledomination

主奴契约（要签约的私信）

​​一、基本条约

1.贱奴自愿成为主人的奴，没有时间、地点的限制，直至本契约终止。

2.主人完完全全拥有贱奴，并掌控贱奴的一切言语、行为，甚至思想，贱奴的一切思想言行都必须以主人的利益为最高标准。主人可以随意玩弄贱奴的肉体、羞辱贱奴的心理、折磨贱奴的精神、污蔑贱奴的思想、践踏贱奴的灵魂；贱奴必须完全接受主人的命令及要求，执行的结果必须让主人满意。

3.主人在贱奴心目中的地位是至高无上的，贱奴尊敬、崇拜、仰慕主人的身体、行为、思想、气质，并且相信主人的一切做法都是正确的，都是为了贱奴好，贱奴相信主人会将贱奴调教得非常出色，对贱奴会有最适当的疼爱及训练。

4.贱奴不得对主人有任何的不敬，即使这种不敬只是心里的一个想法，即使这个想法还未成为事实。

5.贱奴心里有任何的想法都不得隐瞒，必须及时向主人汇报。贱奴不能隐藏自己的思想，贱奴的任何思想和想法都必须让主人了解并交由主人掌控。贱奴应该相信，只有主人才是最了解贱奴的，贱奴必须跟主人分享自己的任何一个想法，相信主人会为贱奴着想。

6.贱奴必须终生对主人忠诚不二，贱奴是为了伺候主人而存在的，是为了给主人带来无穷的快乐，尽自己最大的所能使主人的身心得到最大的享受。贱奴注定活在主人的胯下，被主人踩在脚下，并且贱奴应该认为这是无比幸福的生活，主人就是贱奴生命中的一切。

7.贱奴若有违反本契约中的任何一条，贱奴必须接受主人的任何惩罚。即使贱奴没有犯错时，主人要惩罚贱奴也是正确的。当贱奴受到主人的赏赐时，应该感到无比荣幸，要万分感谢主人的恩赐。

8.本契约只有主人才有终止权。

二、行为规范

1.贱奴在主人面前必须一丝不挂、赤裸身体，除非主人另外指定贱奴的穿着方式。

2.贱奴在主人面前必须是跪着的，不可站立，并且随时等待接受主人的命令。

3.贱奴在回答主人问题的时候，措辞必须表现出对主人的尊敬，态度要求卑微，声音略偏低，在开头或末尾必须称呼“主人”。贱奴必须时刻牢记主人的每句话。贱奴说话前必须先得到主人的批准。若违反本条，主人可以用主人想用的方式抽打贱奴的嘴巴。

4.在没有得到主人允许之前，贱奴不得用自己身体的任何一部分去接触主人身体的任何一部分。贱奴如果想的话，必须先得到主人的允许。请求主人后，如果主人答应，应该磕头感谢主人；如果主人拒绝，贱奴必须立即住嘴，并且不得再强求主人，否则将受到惩罚。当贱奴渴望主人用一种方式调教贱奴或贱奴渴望得到主人身上某物品的时候，也与本条契约的前项相同。主人可将本条后两项视为对贱奴的一种赏赐。

5.贱奴的食物应由主人决定。主人可将准备好给贱奴的食物放置在贱奴专用的狗盆中或直接扔在地上；主人可将嘴里吐出的食物作为贱奴的食物；主人可将自己的尿液、洗脚水作为贱奴的饮料；主人可用自己想用的方式搅拌赐予贱奴的食物，包括用脚拌、尿液及洗脚水泡制。贱奴必须趴在地上用嘴叼食主人赐予的食物，并且不可有厌恶的心理及表情，要仔细品尝主人赐予的食物。有时主人会让贱奴与自己同台进餐，甚至喂贱奴吃饭，这是无上的荣耀，贱奴应该叩谢主人。

6.无论何时何地，贱奴的性高潮必须得到主人的允许才可释放，主人完全有权利制止或强制贱奴的性高潮。

7.主人有权利给贱奴装备贞操带，并由主人掌控开、锁时间。

8.当主人心情不好时，贱奴是主人的出气桶，主人可以任意对贱奴进行发泄，并且贱奴必须认为这是主人对贱奴的一种赏赐。

9.贱奴要在平时的生活中做出对主人有利及让主人高兴的事情，并且应了解主人的习惯，熟悉主人的所有，主动迎合主人的要求，主动向主人提供服务。如果贱奴所作的事情，高于主人的期望并获得满意的效果，贱奴将得到主人的奖赏。

10.?贱奴要时刻保持身体清洁，要积极锻炼身体，要保持最好的体型和最健康的状态，以备主人随时使用并为主人带来快乐。

11.贱奴在主人将要回家之时，应该随时注意室外的动静，确定主人回家时，应该在主人关门之后立刻跪到主人跟前，欢迎主人回家，并伺候主人换鞋、更衣。当主人刚回家坐到椅子上歇息时，贱奴应该用舌头舔脚，帮主人消除一天的疲劳。

12.当主人休息时，贱奴应该在一旁服侍主人，让主人得到最大的放松并让主人愉悦地享受这种放松。贱奴可以趴在主人脚下，舔主人的脚，贱奴也可以用脸作为主人的脚垫，贱奴还可以成为主人的椅子。

13.当主人清洁身体时，贱奴应该在一旁服侍主人。主人可能会要求贱奴用舌头清洁主人身体的某一部分。如果主人允许贱奴和主人一同洗澡的话，这是一种恩赐，贱奴应该感谢主人。

14.当主人将要入眠时，贱奴应该到主人指定的地方睡觉，比如笼子；主人也有可能不会让贱奴睡觉，贱奴应该整晚仔细照顾主人。睡觉时，如果主人要撒尿，贱奴必须用嘴接住并全部吞下，并且不得将床弄湿，否则将受到严厉的惩罚。如果主人允许贱奴和主人一同睡在床上，贱奴必须万分的感谢主人的隆恩，因为这可以说是最高级别的赏赐了。

15.当贱奴表现出色时，主人可以表扬贱奴，用手抚摩贱奴的头部，这时贱奴应该舔主人的手；主人可能会给予贱奴一定的奖励、赏赐、恩赐，贱奴更应该感谢主人。当主人需要惩罚贱奴时，贱奴必须全部接受，即使惩罚是没有任何理由的。

三、调教手法

1.贱奴可以接受本契约中所有提及的可行的调教手法，并且相信主人的技巧、耐心、手段，相信主人不会对贱奴的身体和心理造成终生或长时间不可康复的伤害。

2.羞辱部分：

主人可以用所有的方式，羞辱、凌辱贱奴。包括但不限于：主人调教以及干贱奴时，用能够体现主人崇高、雄伟形象的姿势和方法；在主人的朋友面前调教贱奴；在公共场合服侍主人。

3.?恋脚部分：

A.

贱奴可以舔、闻主人的鞋子、穿着袜子的脚、光脚，主人可用它们踩、踢、抽打贱奴身上的任何部分；主人可以用袜子或内裤塞进贱奴的嘴里。

B.

恋脚部分的赏赐：主人用自己的袜子套住贱奴的鸡巴，并且帮助贱奴手淫；主人允许贱奴将自己的鸡巴摩擦主人的脚达到性高潮。

4.舔身部分：

A.

口交部分：当贱奴为主人口交时，必须使用能够展现贱奴卑微、下贱与主人崇高、雄伟的姿势。当主人的阳具露出时，首先贱奴应将自己身体的高度置于阳具之下，必须用敬仰的眼神仰望、观察主人的阳具；接着要仔细的、慢慢的闻着，享受着主人的阳具散发出的阵阵带有雄性霸气、领主的气味。然后才可以开始进行活塞式口交。当口交时，如果主人用手按住贱奴的头，则由主人掌握口交速度，贱奴要尽量配合。主人可以进行适当的深喉及深喉训练。

B.

舔肛部分：当贱奴为主人舔肛时，贱奴绝对不允许有嫌弃的心理和表情，要使用能够展现贱奴卑微、下贱与主人崇高、雄伟的姿势进行。贱奴要尽可能的将舌头轻柔的伸进主人的体内。

C.

喝尿部分：当主人要小便时，贱奴必须用嘴含住主人的阳具，等待主人在贱奴的嘴中撒尿，并且贱奴要全部吞下。

D.

其他部分：主人可要求贱奴舔主人身体的其他任何部位，贱奴都必须无条件接受。

5.虐打部分：

主人可以使用鞭子、皮带、鞋、拖鞋、手、脚等，对贱奴的身体任何部分进行鞭打、抽打、踹、踢等等，以及对贱奴压腿等等。

6.刑虐部分：

贱奴可接受的大致范围：

A：紧缚，用皮带、绳索、皮革手铐或金属手铐等紧紧的捆绑，控制贱奴的一切行动自由，然后主人就可以任意践踏蹂躏贱奴。悬吊，倒吊。

B：感官，口塞堵嘴、眼罩蒙眼、头套束缚。

C：乳头，夹、捏、轻咬乳头。

D：鸡巴，捆、踩、捏鸡巴，导尿，插鸡巴。强制射精。

E：肛门，用假体阴茎、电动阴茎、手指等插肛门，灌肠，长时间肛塞。

F：剃毛，电击，液虐等。

G：其他主人能想到的、喜欢的调教手法，只要不违反本部分第一条，都可以施行。

7.?肛交部分：

（出于主人和贱奴双方的安全考虑，必须戴套进行）必须使用能够展现贱奴卑微、下贱与主人雄伟、崇高的姿势进行。

8.贱奴不能接受的调教方式：

A：过度恶心反感的方式，比如吃大便，易装，一切CC的行为。

B：严重性伤害及永久性、较长期性伤害身体和心理及性功能的手法，比如穿刺。

C：烫刑，比如无安全保障的滴蜡。

D：不可在脸上留下伤痕，造成容貌的损毁。

E：长时间断绝生存必需物，例如食物、水（但可以断绝日光）。

9.本部分条约第1至第7条如果贱奴有令主人不满的地方，主人可以任意惩罚。

四、涉外交往

1.在主人的朋友面前，贱奴将会遵循本契约中的所有条项。贱奴须展现出对主人的仰慕、爱戴、尊敬，体现出主人在贱奴心中的崇高、神圣、伟大的地位，显露出作为主人的贱奴，服侍自己主人时的下贱、卑微、奴性。在安全保障的前提下，贱奴会按照主人的要求好好服侍主人的朋友，不会让主人丢脸，并且让主人的朋友深刻的了解到，主人调教出的贱奴比起别的奴来说更加优秀，贱奴要为主人争光。

2.在未获主人的批准前，贱奴不得接受任何主人的调教（包括当面调教及网上、电话等远程调教）。

3.在未获主人的批准前，贱奴不得与任何人发生性关系（包括可引起性欲的亲密行为，如抚摸、拥抱、接吻等）。

4.主人与贱奴的关系，不应影响贱奴与家庭的关系。如果出现冲突，双方应尽量想办法克服，如确实无法妥协，应以贱奴的家庭需要为先。

5.贱奴可与朋友、同事、同学等保持正常交往，主人不得无故阻拦，但贱奴应优先考虑主人的需要。如果主人询问，贱奴应毫无保留地将交往过程如实向主人交代。

五、附加契约

1.本契约如果有需要增加和修改的地方，将会另起一份附加条约和本条约合订在一起。

2.本契约中的贱奴还是刚刚起步，希望主人耐心、细心、严厉调教。

3.在本契约生效期间，主人不与贱奴亲友发生任何关系。

4.主人应尽其所能保证贱奴的健康、营养、安全和福利，主人也有义务帮助贱奴在学习、工作、事业方面得到发展。

5.主人和贱奴都不得向第三者透露本契约内容，除非双方都同意。

6.本部分契约仅供主人参考，一切以主人的快乐和享受为主。

7.若主人的命令与任一现行法律法规有所抵触，或有可能导致罚款、逮捕或起诉，贱奴有权否决。

六、签名附照

主人签名：

贱奴签名

注意：在执行下列所有命令过程中，奴隶应当尽力在身边留有足够的空间，使主人能很方便地在他身边走动。在这种情况下奴隶绝不能懒散，除了坐下以外，必须总是保持背部尽可能地挺直，标准当然是“收腹挺胸，双目平视”。当主人在屋里向奴隶发出需要执行的命令时，奴隶就应该自动地面对主人；当奴隶被指令到另一间屋里去时，会告诉奴隶应该面向的方向。在下面的命令中以及任何新的命令中，都规定两只手腕要交叉在一起，两手不能握在一起，奴隶的双臂要形成一个“X”型，交叉点是手腕。奴隶将一直保持这种姿式直至有其它的命令，两手握拳或是张开，随便他喜欢哪种方式，除非主人有要求。刚开始主人会慢慢纠正奴隶不正确的姿式，但反复出错就会引致惩罚。

跪下：奴隶立刻在他当时所在的地方跪下，面对主人，奴隶的双膝应当尽可能远地分开，后背挺直，头要服从和尊敬地低下，两眼向下看着地面，双手放在背后并在手腕处交叉，就象在等待主人把它们绑起来一样，奴隶的屁股不能坐在脚跟上，而是要和背在一条直线上，奴隶应当回答“是，主人!”。在没有别的要求时这是奴隶的通常等待状态。

假如在此前已经按命令跪下（包括口头也应答了），当奴隶受到召唤时，他应当立刻跑到主人所在的屋里，除非有别的命令。如果奴隶正在做事（比如在做饭），奴隶应当以“是，主人!”作为回答，并尽快执行命令，除非有别的指示。当奴隶被叫到另一间屋里时，他应当立刻到那间屋里，假设命令他跪下，当主人进屋时，他要口头应答。要是他正在做事不能立刻执行（如在做饭），应当以“是，主人!”作为回答，然后尽可能快地执行命令。

休息：奴隶应当在当时所在的地方马上跪下，面对主人，奴隶的双膝应当尽可能远地分开，后背挺直，头服从和尊敬地低下，两眼向下看着地面，双手舒服地放在大腿内侧休息位置，掌心向上，奴隶的屁股可以坐在脚跟上，处于休息状态，奴隶应当回答“是，主人!

谢谢主人!”。

坐下：奴隶可以舒服地坐在主人脚边的地板上，如果主人躺在床上，奴隶应当在主人伸手可及的范围内舒服地坐在地板上，奴隶要保持尊敬，但不必低头和看着地板，以“是，主人!

谢谢主人!”作为回答。

站住：奴隶要立刻在原地站立，面对主人，后背应当保持挺直，两腿尽可能大地分开，但也不能大得失去平衡，头要服从和尊敬地低下，两眼向下看着地面，双手放在背后并在手腕处交叉，就象在等待主人把它们绑起来，奴隶要回答“是，主人!”。

立正：（标准立正姿式）奴隶要立刻在原地站立，面对主人，两腿绷直两脚并拢，头应当在正常的位置，两眼直视前方，两手放下在两侧，奴隶要收腹挺胸，回答“是，主人!”。

检查：奴隶要立刻从他当前的位置自动走到房间的中间（除非主人另有要求），面对床或是主人指定的方向（在这里与前面提到的要求有所不同），两腿尽量分开，但不能大得会失去平衡，后背挺直，头应当在正常的位置，两眼直视前方，两手放在脑后，尽量把身体暴露给主人以便检查，回答是：“尊敬的主人，您卑贱的奴隶展示在您的面前，等您的视察，主人!”如果主人要求奴隶弯下腰，奴隶可以稍微移动他的脚来保证平衡，两手仍放在脑后，除非有别的命令.​​​​

How to Control Your Man

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!

You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.

You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.

Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.

He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.

If you feel he deserves an orgasm… Ruin it!

Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.

Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!

Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.

Tease him with your words whenever possible.

Find out what humiliates him.

Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.

Talk sexy to him.

Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.

Fondle him, or let him fondle you.

Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.

Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating.

Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.

Make him be naked when you are not.

Make him masturbate for you.

Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.

Don’t let him get away with anything!

Spank, paddle, or whip him.

Humiliate him in some way.

Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.

Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.

Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).

Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.

Make him shop for lingerie with you.

Source: mistressivey.blogspot.com