One Day You Think: I Want To Die. And Then You Think, Very Quietly: Actually. Actually. I Think I Want

I know I’ve been reblogging a lot of stuff about Palestine recently, which might be off putting to some of you who followed me for art or tntduo or whatever else. Here’s what I have to say to you if you’re wondering why:

What’s happening in Palestine is genocide and it is the most important thing in the world to keep talking about it, no matter what your account usually looks like or how many followers you have or how much engagement you get.

If your account has an aesthetic, forget it. Talk about Palestine. If your account is dedicated to one thing and one thing only, drop it. Talk about Palestine. If you just got here and you only have 1 follower, it doesn’t matter. Talk. About. Palestine.

The more we talk the more we force people to remember, to look at the horror and death and despair they’ve cultivated against so many innocent lives.

Your voice matters. 🇵🇸

best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)

some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.

YOU WILL NEED:

5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)

preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).

in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.

set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.

spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.

slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)

The Raising of Lazarus

Rembrandt

Oil on panel, c. 1630-1632

The Raising of Lazarus, Léon Bonnat, 1857

Life and Death

hi guys, ive decided to start using my tumblr like a diary

heres a pic of me where i genuinely felt perfect

my hair was all fluffy and soft, and i had that "just woke up" glow to me

i felt so beautiful

that's all for now <3

- Shade, 4/8/24, 2:31 am

Abandoned Son of God

1. The War of Vaslav Nijinsky Half-light: Collected Poems by Frank Bidart // Milan Pieta, Sant Alessandro Church by Benedict Cacciatori, 1887 2. Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain // Ecce Homo by Guido Reni c. 1639-40 3. Head in the Wall by Ethel Cain // Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers // Agnus Dei "The Lamb of God", by Francisco de Zurbarán c. 1635-40 // Crucifixion by Unknown Artist 4. Long Sleeves by Gracie Abrams // The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath // Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers // Christ Crowned with Thorns by Unknown Artist 5. Not Strong Enough by boygenius // Ecce Homo by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo c. 1670 6. Chinese Satellite by Phoebe Bridgers // Hozier // Sometimes by Nick Lutsko // The Crucification of Jesus Christ by Wilhelm Kotarbinski 7. Swan Upon Leda by Hozier // Ptolemaea by Ethel Cain // Anguish by August Friedrich Schenk, 1878 // Pietà sculpture, Templo Expiatori 8. Strangers by Ethel Cain // A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain // mirrorball by Taylor Swift // You're On Your Own, Kid by Taylor Swift // Christ In The Wilderness Desert by Ivan Nikolaevich Kramskoi, 1872 9. oh darling, even rome fell by @madzieloss // Unknown 10. the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb by @rollercoasterwords // Ecce Homo by Guido Reni c. 1639-40

I am no longer what you made me. I am not cruel or broken or cold.

I refuse to have a haunted heart.

trying to make the world right when I have done everything to tilt it off its axis.

4 years

hopefully he likes this surprise.