I Haven't Seen Dancing Pumpkin Guy ONCE This Year, Are You Guys Okay?

caper. pickle. english is a beautiful language. so many sandwich toppings that are also detective words

That one dialogue from Friday Night at the Inn…

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

forever thinking of the time i just wanted to know how long i could go without sleeping and google autofilled it to “in minecraft” without me realizing. you can imagine my shock and horror until i read the website title

okay fucking fine guys lets make the most fucked up sandwich ever since that's all you want to do.

I'll start: bread

What 5 things do you like in a girl?

I was told that “each of my fingers” is too vulgar of a response

“they were flirting with you” and how was i supposed to know such a thing when everyone speaks in codes and puzzles

it sucks that even todo lists get affected by the adhd 'absorption of stationary objects into their environment thus leading to effective invisibility' thing

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk