If You're On Instagram Get Off That Thing And Go Outside

caldarus sketch 📜

doesn’t the term “staff member” make you laugh because those 2 words both mean penis

what do you mean elon musk did a nazi salute on live tv at the united states presidential inauguration twice and is now erasing the evidence off the internet by replacing the footage with the crowd cheering instead?

would be a shame if people reblogged this, wouldn’t it?

forever thinking of the time i just wanted to know how long i could go without sleeping and google autofilled it to “in minecraft” without me realizing. you can imagine my shock and horror until i read the website title

why does this keep happening to me. I've done nothing to deserve this.

“they were flirting with you” and how was i supposed to know such a thing when everyone speaks in codes and puzzles

linus takes a trip to the nether. birthday gift to my sister

I mean fuck, I like gills, I like slugs, I like gettin' chummy, I like flippers, I like the muck, I like squid inking and tsunamis and sea creatures, I like doin' sea creature shit, swordfish , probably would

easily one of my favourite tweets of all time