Freak Of Nature

Pixel Ayatsuji because I can

Who is this DIVA?

My local drug record dealer can't be this cute!!

💐

Hey. Your brain needs to de-frag. Literally it needs you to sit there and space out.

If you want your memory or executive function to improve, stare out a window at the skyline or sidewalk or trees or birds on the electrical wires for like 20+ minutes per day. (With no other stimulation like a podcast or TV if you can manage but hey baby steps innit). If you're fortunate enough to have safe outside with any bits of nature, go stare closely at a 1 meter square of grass and trip out on the bugs and shapes of grasses and stuff.

Literally this will make you smarter. Our brains HAVE TO HAVE this zone out time to do important stuff behind the scenes. This does not happen during sleep, it's something else.

That weird pressurized feeling you get sometimes might be your brain on no defrag.

Give your brain a Daily Dose Of De-Frag.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You think you know a man. You think you see him for who he is- bleeding claws and all. You think that you are sure in his character and in his entirety. You think that after so many battles and so much death, there is nothing else for you to know.

You are wrong.

You think the two of you could not be more different or distant if you tried. You think that despite any change you may have brought, he is still someone you could never understand. You've come to terms with the idea that you both are simply two sides of the same coin.

You are wrong.

And it takes an unfeeling blade for you to finally learn how much so.

You learn that you only vaguely knew him- a shadow blurred across your vision. You learn his claws are not simply bloodied from pain caused but from pain given- from climbing a mountain insurmountable even to one as strong as him. You learn that you knew his surface but not his core- something no battle had ever taught you. There is so much you have yet to know.

So, you follow.

You learn the two of you are not so very different, the distance no more than a few steps. You learn that any change you brought in him was because, unknowingly, you were speaking a language that you didn't know he spoke right back. You learn that the hate that he held for you was born of a desire just as your own.

So, you follow.

And you learn that there was never a coin at all, just a mirror- a thing made of broken edges, bruised bones, and hateful words. And you learn there were never two sides, simply two caged and cornered animals staring back at the other- hearts bleeding and hands grasping.

Grasping for acknowledgment, for acceptance, for a reason, for permission, for someone to tell them they were finally enough.

You stare at the man in the mirror, a dark anger of a person- all sharp points and serrated defenses- and can see yourself in his eyes. Eyes that don't look at you the same way they used to.

You wonder: when he looks in this mirror, does he see the same?

You will simply have to ask him once you return.

Imagine you are Atsushi. You have seen the heart of a man. A man with whom you cannot accurately describe your relationship- no word seems precise enough nor powerful enough. You still don't fully understand him. He still confuses you, annoys you, and causes an itch you cannot seem to scratch.

But none of that matters because you have already decided he is worth sacrificing for. Because he is Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

You have already made it to the door that- if done right -will guide you back to him, aided by the ghosts of his past and yours.

And so, you place your hands upon the entrance and push.

cage of the soul

Arcana be collecting the prettiest lesbians and making them create the most angsty, toxic, and doomed yuri with foundation members/allies (37phi, valenweis, isokania, verneider).

Inspired by:

Taking a peek?

filth teaches filth