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Miles Edgeworth(35) meets Phoenix Wright(21) 

Phoenix Wright(35) meets Miles Edgeworth(20)

WOY- Short Story

Lets take a moment to imagine this:

Peepers walks up to some printers in a white room. Two Watchdogs are whistling with hands behind their back. As Peepers walks past them with papers in his hands, they bolt out the door. Peepers reaches the printers, and to his surprise, all the printers are broken, and there is black ink everywhere. Peepers gets angry and mumbles to himself. He walks out the door and into a different room, only to be met with another broken printer. Again, he gets angry, storming out. This happens several times, Peepers only getting more and more frustrated. (You know, the little squeak he does when that happens). Finally, he knocks on Hater’s door.

Hater: No, go away.

Peepers: It’s Peepers.

Hater *groans*: What do you want?

Peepers *walking in*: Sir, all the printers are broken, and these papers are really important, they must be printed.

Hater *looking slightly sheepish*: Oh. Yeah. I-I tried making some cool posters, but the stupid things wouldn’t work.

Peepers: Sir! And you tried on every printer?!

Hater: Uh, yeah?

Peepers sighs: I guess we’re going to have to go to the copy store.

Hater: WE’RE?! I DON’T HAVE TO GO! WHY DON’T YOU GO BY YOURSELF!?!

Peepers: Because I didn’t break all the printers, did I?

Hater: But I don’t wanna go!

Peepers: Come on, sir. They do say copy stores are fun.

Hater: Who says that?

Peepers *shrugs*: Everyone.

Two Watchdogs walk past the doorway talking to each other.

Watchdog 1: Dude, I’ve heard the copier store is the best.

Watchdog 2: Yeah, I’ve heard so too. You know, I wish I could go there someday.

Watchdog 1: Yup, same here.

Their voices fade out as they continue walking down the hallway.

Hater *grunts* : Ugh, fine.

Peepers *hand Hater dollar bills*: I need you to hold these for me. Remember, once we get off the ship, we can’t come back to the ship because I ordered the Watchdogs to go get fuel before they pick us up, okay?

Hater *looks up*: Huh? Oh, yeah, sure.

When the ship drops them off:

Peepers: Okay sir, where’s the money?

Hater: M-money?

Peepers: Yes sir, the money I gave you in order to buy the copies.

Hater: Oh. T-that money.

Peepers: Yes, sir. Where is it?

Hater: Umm… On my bed.

Peepers: S-sir! We needed that! I told you we couldn’t go back because the Skullship needs fuel! Now what are going to do?!

Hater puts a finger on his chin and thinks. Finally, he removes it and smirks.

Hater *smirking*: I think I know this planet.

Peepers *looks up*: You do?

Hater: Yeah, and I remember there was a way of getting things for free.

Peepers: Really?!

Hater: Oh, definitely.

Hater bends down and whispers in Peepers ear [(?) side of head?]. Peepers looks shocked and slightly angry.

Peepers: No! There is no way I’m doing that! EVER!

Hater *points at Peepers threateningly with lightning*: That’s an order, Commander Peepers!

Peepers *sighs*: Y-yes sir. But are you certain there is no other way to do this?

Hater *rubbing hands together*: Oh, I’m certain, alright.

Inside the copier store:

Peepers walks down the aisle. Hater stands in the back, snickering with his hands near his face. Peepers turns to look at Hater. Hater looks upwards, arm swinging to the sides. He looks at Peepers and gives him two thumbs up. Peepers sighs before looking forward again. Hater goes back to snickering.

Peepers *doing full-blast puppy-dog eye (not eyes)*: Can you please print me 100 copies of this?

Peepers hands over the papers.

Cashier Guy: Sure thing there, buddy.

A Few Minutes Later…

Cashier Guy: Here ya go. *hands over papers and copies*. Have a nice day.

Peepers *doing puppy-dog eye*:  Thank you so much. Have a nice day!

Note: Hater was snickering into his hands the whole time.

Peepers walks out the door. Hater follows him. It was getting dark, the sun was setting. Outside, Hater bursts out laughing.

Hater *laughing a lot*: Y-you! Haha! You-you actually did it! Haha! Noo! Haha! And it actually worked! Hahaha!

Peepers *slightly shocked before he gets annoyed*: Y-you mean you- *sighs* Of course you did. Let us NEVER speak of this again!

Hater *calming down*: Haha. Sure thing, C.Peeps. This will be our own little joke. I couldn’t have anybody else in on it… But I never will forget about it.

Peepers *rolling his eye*: Of course you won’t.

They both walk into the arriving Skullship, and it takes off. Meanwhile on the other side of the planet… 

Sylvia *looking at Peepers on her phone*: Oh! Haha! This will be the end of him! I’m NEVER letting him forget about this! Hahaha!

what's going on in the congo since there's also a genocide happening over there as well:

to sum it up, people in the congo are literally being worked as slaves to mine for this material called coltan, which is very valuable as its used for things like phones, laptops, just electronics in general. Congo is the number 1 producer for this material and the places behind this genocide is America, Britain, France, and Israel, wow what an absolute shocker. The worst places probably to ever exist benefit from a genocide. These places are funding Rwanda and Uganda military groups, to go into the Congo and kill MILLIONS of people. This has also been going on for YEARS. Many women have been SA'd and men are forced to work in INHUMAN conditions, resulting in their death and the colonizers are absolutely benefitting from this. 6 MILLION people have been killed and half of them are literally kids. Many of the Congolese people have also been displaced.

Please speak out about and raise your voice

    A short reminder that Russia is imperialist, has been imperialist for a long time, and there’s no way around that fact.

Sections of the Western left have developed a narrative according to which Russia has been gradually surrounded by NATO and that supposedly “provoked” Putin. It’s increasingly difficult to sustain the notion that Russia is simply “defending itself” after 24 February 2022, but the thing is - the invasion did not come out of the blue. One needs a different narrative to understand what Russia actually is: an aggressive imperialist power alongside other imperialisms.

So, a different narrative:

- 1994: Russia, with US support, acquires Ukrainian nuclear arsenal in exchange for the assurances to respect Ukraine’s territorial integrity

- 1997: Russia acquires the Sevastopol naval base and almost all of the ships (82%, to be exact)… in exchange for the assurances to respect Ukraine’s territorial integrity!

- 2004: Russia meddles in Ukrainian presidential elections, fighting hard to force an undemocratic fraudulent outcome, but fails

- Mid-to-late 2000s: As punishment for Ukraine electing Yushchenko, Russia uses energy blackmail, a form of economic coercion not very different from the IMF and World Bank lending and conditionality

- 2008: NATO refuses to adopt a roadmap towards Ukraine’s membership and in effect postpones the decision indefinitely. Ukraine’s security is in no way guaranteed, while Russia has already demonstrated the propensity to use coercion to force Ukraine to do its bidding

- 2009: Dmitry Medvedev, then president, writes to Yushchenko that “Russia does not pose and cannot pose any kind of threat to Ukraine”, so seeking NATO membership is stupid. Yea, sure

- 2014: Russia, which “does not pose and cannot pose a threat to Ukraine”… annexes Crimea. Really, Dima?? I thought you were for real??

Of course, by annexing Crimea Russia not only makes all the previous statements that it “can never pose a threat to Ukraine” a ridiculous lie, but also breaks the 1994 memorandum and 1997 treaty. “We are the Kremlin. Our word is worth nothing”

- Crimea’s annexation provokes armed separatism in Donbas that Russia supports and coordinates, including direct military command and control, and then completely subordinates Donbas “authorities”, in effect occupying the region

- Ukraine’s still not in NATO, its security is still in no way guaranteed, and the supplies of US weapons only begin in 2018. They are kept to a minimum… out of fear of provoking Russia!

- Nevertheless, on 24 February 2022 Russia launches a full-scale invasion to establish 100% control over all of Ukraine in one way or another. There is literally no military development on the ground that could have provoked the invasion. On Russia’s part, it’s a war of choice in exactly the same way the invasion of Iraq was a war of choice for the US in 2003.

Now, this is only the general outline. One should add Russia’s drowning of Ukraine with spies and agents of influence, money to corrupt Ukrainian politicians and massive acquisition of Ukrainian assets to impose economic and political dependency.

These are well-known facts, but so many on the left refuse to see the story behind them. It’s a story of decades of imperialist aggression, culminating in a war that cost 150,000 lives in 2022 alone. Any discussion of left-wing internationalism should begin with recognizing the reality of what Russia is and what it did.

Sylvia: For self-defense reasons, I’m going to pretend to be a robber, and you guys have to act wisely.

Wander: Okay!

Hater: Whatever.

Sylvia: Give me all your money if you want to live!

Hater: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Peepers: Bold of you to assume I want to live.

Wander: (Hands Sylvia a bag of money) I know it’s not much, but I hope it helps.

Dominator: (Takes money out of Sylvia’s pocket)

please reblog the fundraisers you see on your dash. please. if you claim to care about palestine, NOW is the time to prove it. everyone said gaza will be worse off if trump wins - well, now he has. the least anyone can do now is reblog and share and DONATE to as many fundraisers as possible. especially if you're american. you want harm reduction? this is harm reduction. help gazan families.

you can't decide where to start?

gazafunds

mohammad, nawal, and baby roaa

yousef, khadija, and baby majd

ahmed, his family, and their cat soso

nairuz and hussein's spreadsheet | gazavetters' spreadsheet | the butterfly effect spreadsheet

fundraisers linked on my blog

pick a name. any name. read their story. realize that what you feel now, they feel everyday, a thousandfold. donate whatever you can. at the very least, reblog if you can't.

there is no excuse not to.

concept: human!watchdogs wear electronic masks

homogenizes them and minimizes their individuality

leans into the original concept of them being at least somewhat mechanical

looks cool