Just One Psychotic Episode Will Change Your Life, Forever. It'll Alter Your Self Perception Beyond Recognition.

just one psychotic episode will change your life, forever. it'll alter your self perception beyond recognition. you'll remember who you were before, back when you were (relatively) sane, always been sane, and you won't recognize her anymore. she'll feel more like a sister. you're still the same, you are--but you aren't. you're different, you know you are. You're different in ways you cannot articulate, in ways your loved ones cannot truly grasp. you've experienced something most people believe is impossible to experience. likely because it is. it was something impossible, grand, and terrifying. the most scared you've ever felt in your life. God looked down on you and laughed, and finally, finally you know what it feels like to be that small and vulnerable. you can't go back to before, when you were naive, ignorant to your size. but it's okay. you're okay, now. it's over and you're safe. and you've always been safe, really, it wasn't real, but the trauma is. the trauma is real and it's lasting.

and it's not real. and you know it's not real. but sometimes you get scared again. so, so, so scared, because it was traumatizing and now you're left with flashbacks to a time when the world didn't make sense, when you weren't yourself, when you were small and confused and lost and could not understand yourself let alone be understood--and it feels real again. but you don't believe it, not really, you know you don't. you know it's not real. it's not psychosis round 2, but you're still so so scared--scared that you're wrong, that it is real, scared that you'll go back there--that you'll lose the sanity you grappled for. fought for. but you don't. not yet, at least. the flashback passes, same as any other flashback. but the fear lingers. you'll fear losing control like that for the rest of your life. years of sanity, remission, and you're still afraid, because you know what that felt like and it was scary. it's weird to believe again, when you don't really believe, it's weird to relive unreality while knowing you're within reality. you can feel your sanity, you know it's there, because it's saying "this isn't real and we know it's not real. we know this. but I am so so so scared anyway. I am so scared of experiencing it again. I am so scared that I was right and now I'm wrong."

psychosis is traumatic and trauma leaves you with flashbacks. and sometimes it feels like you're there again. like you've slipped away again. and it's scary. but you'll be back, I know you will, because I'm back, I'm okay, and you are too. I love you. I love all of you. love yourselves for me.

More Posts from Silly-gremline and Others

8 months ago
[   01   ]         ―         MISCREANT   

[   01   ]         ―         MISCREANT   

this  is  a  super  basic  criminal  record  template  that  i  made  for  personal  use  while  working  on  a  timeline  for  some  characters.    i  cannot  guarantee  how  accurate  it  is    /    if  it's  what  an  actual  criminal  record  looks  like  as  i've  based  it  on  whatever  i  could  find  on  google,   but  i've  had  a  lot  of  fun  with  it   &   it's  helped  me  do  a  lot  of  building  so  i  thought  i'd  share.  you  are  welcome  to  edit  this  document  in  any  way  you  want,   add  anything  you  want,  but  please  do  not  remove  the  credit.   please  consider  a  like  and   /   reblogif  using.

HOW   TO   USE

click  the  source  link

go  to  file    >    make  a  copy

have  fun!

8 months ago

Pagans - how do you fight worrying about being “crazy”?

As someone with OCD, I struggle a lot with obsessive thoughts surrounding if I am “crazy” or “delusional” as someone who went through spiritual psychosis ~6 years ago. Does anyone else struggle with this? My deities help so much with reassuring me that I am in a totally different mental state, I’m very stable, I’ve got a good job, and I am generally a pretty grounded person. But that doesn’t relieve the worry about “slipping into the pattern” again.

I wish I saw more speak on here about how dangerous spiritual psychosis is in general and how to recognize the signs! I’ve been thinking of making my own post about it as someone who went through it, and did end up returning to paganism as my path.

3 weeks ago

Hey here's some free Sims games. Don't pay for digital media in this economy.

Sims 1

Sims 2

Sims 3

Sims 4

Here is also all non-PC sims games. As well as links to a variety of emulators:

PS2

PS3

XBOX

XBOX 360

PSP

DS

Wii

GameCube

Game Boy Advance/Other emulator

9 months ago

a guide to hearing voices

(Note: this information was given to me by my therapist and is not my original writing. The information provided in this post comes from the UK based mental health charity known as Mind, and is paraphrased by me.)

What are voices?

A hallucination is a perception you may have that is not shared by those around you. Hearing voices is a type of auditory hallucination where you hear voices when no one is present, or that other people cannot hear. Some examples of voices you may hear include:

Hearing your name called when no one is around.

Hearing things as you fall asleep.

Feel as though you can hear other people’s thoughts.

Threatening voices that tell you to do dangerous things.

Friendly voices that encourage or support you.

Multiple voices arguing or talking with one another.

There are many reasons why you might hear voices. Some reasons include lack of sleep, hunger, physical illness, being under the influence of drugs, grief, abuse/bullying, physical illness, trauma, spiritual experiences, or mental health problems such as psychosis.

How can I help myself cope?

Understanding your voices and how they relate to your past may help you feel more in control, recognize when voices cause problems, stand up to your voice, or develop a better relationship with your voices so they don’t interfere with your life.

Some questions to help you think about how your voices relate to you are:

What was happening when I first heard voices?

Where was I and how was I feeling?

What did the voice say?

What did they sound like?

Do they represent a person or a problem?

Are there any patterns to the voices?

What do the voices want me to do?

What do I want to do?

It may be helpful to keep a diary and record when you hear voices or what they say. This can help you identify patterns and understand how they affect you over a period of time.

Here are some suggestions to help you feel more in control of your voices:

Ignore them, block them out, or distract yourself.

Give them times when you agree to talk to them and times when you won’t.

Tell them to wait.

Stand up to them, ignore their commands and threats. They have no power over you.

Try to ignore the voices you don’t like, and focus on the ones you find easier to listen to.

Use grounding techniques, like taking note of the things you see, hear, smell, etc.

The recovery approach

This helps reframe the way we see recovery. The main principles of the recovery approach are:

Live the best life you can have the you can with your experiences and the consequences they’ve had.

Focusing on what you can do, not what you can’t.

Making your own choices and being your own person.

Seeing recovery as a journey, not a destination.

Seeing setbacks as ways of learning more about yourself.

Maintaining hope.

How other people can help

If someone you care about hears voices, you might find it hard to understand what they are experiencing. But there are many things you can do to help support them.

Accept that their experiences of voices are real, even if you don’t understand it.

Try not to make judgements about what hearing voices means for them.

Learn their triggers.

Remember that they are still the same person you’ve always known. Hearing voices doesn’t change who they are.

Ask them what would help, and avoid making assumptions.

Reassure them that they are not alone. There are lots of reasons why people hear voices.

Encourage them to talk about their experience. To you, to a doctor, or to a support group.

Learn more about the experience of hearing voices and fight the stigma.

Help them seek treatment and support, if they want it.

5 months ago

Ok so I feel like the best way to combat the deluge of recasts is to promote more affordable doll brands, so I'm gonna give it a shot!

Here's a list of some more affordable legit bjd brands, their general price ranges, and where to buy them! All of these are complete dolls (body+head). The lowest prices listed are from their smallest sizes no faceup, and the highest prices will be largest with faceup if they offer it. Prices can vary between dealers. (Please add more if you know some, especially for outside the US!)

Also some of these upper prices seem insanely high because they include any 70cm beasts they have as well, but I mainly judged these based on the 1/4 dolls being under or around 300 with faceup, since that's typically the most popular size.

Qianhe ($70-116) 1/6, 1/5, and 1/4 male and female resin blind box bjds. Realistic style. Available on Janesdolland, and until 8/02 you can choose the head you want from the blind boxes.

Sprouting Dragon ($68-138): 1/6 and 1/4 female resin bjds. Anime style. On Janesdolland.

UFDoll ($56-155): 1/6, 1/4, and 1/3 PVC bjds, both male and female, both anime and realistic available. The 1/6 fullset blindbox dolls are available on Kikasgoods and Janesdolland. Others are on Janesdolland and LegendDoll.

Evantasy ($125.80-412.05): 1/6, 1/4, and 1/3 resin bjds, all female but 1. Anime style. On Janesdolland and LegendDoll.

ImomoDoll ($15-145): 1/12, 1/6, and 1/4 vinyl mjds. Both males and females. Anime style, good sub for MDDs and Puyoodoll. On Janesdolland, New Clover Singing, and LegendDoll.

SweetyDoll ($110-217): 1/6, 1/5, and 1/4 female resin bjds. Anime style. On Janesdolland. Also look like Puyoodoll.

BonBon Galaxy ($49-259): 1/12, 1/6, and 1/4 male and female resin bjds. Both anime and realistic. On Alice's Collections, Janesdolland, LegendDoll, and the tinies are on Kikasgoods.

Guard Love ($169-285) 1/6 and 1/4 resin bjd. Both males and females. Both anime and realistic. On Alice's Collections, Janesdolland, New Clover Singing, and LegendDoll.

Xaga Doll ($152-504): 1/8, 1/6, 1/4, and 1/3 resin bjds. Both males and females, both anime and realistic. On Alice's Collections, Janesdolland, and LegendDoll.

Asleep Eidolon ($198-554): 1/6, 1/4, 1/3, and 70cm resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style. On Janesdolland and LegendDoll.

Tinyfox ($168-289): 1/6 and 1/4 PVC mjds. Gender neutral and females. Anime style. All come as fullsets. On Janesdolland, New Clover Singing, Kikasgoods, and LegendDoll.

FairyCastle ($169-669): 1/6, 1/4, and 75cm resin bjds. Both male and females. Realistic style. On Janesdolland and LegendDoll.

True Love ($159-305): 1/6, 1/4, and 1/3 resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style. On Janesdolland and LegendDoll.

Resinsoul/Bobobie ($85-330): 1/12, 1/6, 1/4, 1/3, and 70cm resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style. Specializes in fantasy parts and skintones. On Denver Doll Emporium.

Doll Leaves ($149-510): 1/6, 1/4, 1/3, and 70cm resin bjds. Both male and females. Realistic style. On Alice's Collections, Denver Doll Emporium, and LegendDoll. Somewhat artsy doll vibe.

Gem of Doll ($155- 560): 1/8, 1/6, 1/4, 1/3, and 70cm resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style. On Alice's Collections, New Clover Singing, and LegendDoll.

Huajing Doll ($120-495): 1/8, 1/6, 1/5, 1/4, 1/3, and 70cm resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style. On Alice's Collections, New Clover Singing, and LegendDoll.

Myou Doll ($138-428): 1/8, 1/6, 1/4, and 1/3 resin bjds. Both males and females. Realistic style with 1 anime doll available. On Alice's Collections, Denver Doll Emporium, and LegendDoll. Similar look to Volks SDs imo.

7 months ago

Fruit Correspondences

Fruit Correspondences

Apple: spirit work, offerings, love, healing, beauty, wisdom, harvest

Apricot: love, self love

Avocado: beauty, love, lust, fertility, spell work

Banana: wealth, luck, spirituality, religion, masculinity

Blueberry: protection, banishment, curses

Blackberry: protection, fertility, femininity, funerals, afterlife, moving on

Cantaloupe: spell work, protection, grounding, energy work

Cherry: lust, love, fertility

Clementine: childhood, dreams

Coconut: protection, cleansing, femininity

Cranberry: holidays, blood magic, spirit work

Date: fertility, luck, money

Dragon fruit: lust, passion, spell work

Durian: curses, cleansing, protection

Fig: happiness, divination, love

Grapefruit: cleansing

Grape: money, spell work, fertility, offerings

Guava: love, self love, lust

Honeydew: cleansing, energy, love

Jackfruit: divination, spell work, happiness

Kiwifruit: health, love, lust, happiness

Kumquat: luck, health, money

Lemon: cleansing, purification, protection, curse breaking

Lime: cleansing, protection, love

Lychee: love, self love, femininity, beauty

Mango: love, lust, fertility

Nectarine: love, self love, spell work

Orange: cleansing, protection, divination

Papaya: curse breaking, banishing, spirit work, love

Passion fruit: lust, love, passion

Peach: fertility, love, happiness, spirit work

Pear: offerings, happiness, luck, money, confidence

Persimmon: healing, love, luck, protection

Pineapple: protection, health, offerings, money, luck

Plantain: fertility, masculinity, lust, passion

Plum: love, healing, offerings

Pomegranate: offerings, blood magic, fertility, divination, spell work

Prune: cleansing, protection

Raspberry: love, dreams, health

Strawberry: love, wishes, dreams, happiness

Starfruit: lunar/solar magic, spell work, cleansing

Tangerine: solar magic, strength, energy work

Tomato: protection, cleansing, love, passion

Watermelon: healing, femininity, lust, love, spirit work, cleansing

Tip Jar

9 months ago

Welcome to The Society of The Exploratory

What do we do here?

We explore. We discover things. Mysteries, anomalies, new things, old things, anywhere and everywhere.

What are we looking for?

Everything. (But especially rocks. We love rocks. So shiny.. so so very good. All of our many many eyes searching for good rocks.)

Who can join?

Anyone. One condition, you have to be up for adventure. Whether you explore in wooded forests, concrete tunnels or the liminal sidewalks of suburbia, we want you to join us.

(Actually we have one more condition. You need to find rocks. We love rocks, and we want you to love rocks as much as we do. Collect them, store them, sort them, observe them, make sure they don't move too much on their own.)

How can you join?

Technically, you're already in it. But we don't know that.

We need members. Our advisors say that we can find them here. We have found you here. Join us. Join the society.

A NOTE FROM THE ADVISORS ©

This post was written by The Head (and hands) Of The Society and they will not let us read it to check for errors, for they claim it is without flaw. If you would like to join, please reblog this post and follow our blog. The Head Of The Society will post weekly missions and newsletters. Have a wonderful day and do try to stay safe. Remember, there are eyes everywhere but some choose not to see.

8 months ago
Dream Blunt Rotation 🔥🔥

Dream blunt rotation 🔥🔥

This is my piece for “Fanzines R Magic” hosted by @_regenko_ on Instagram!

9 months ago

self-care advice: need vs. deserve

This isn’t my original idea, I think I first saw it on twitter. But self-care really has become easier ever since I started thinking of things in terms of what I deserve to have/feel vs. what I need to do

I need to shower/brush my teeth —> I deserve to have good hygiene & I deserve to feel clean and fresh

I need to clean my house —> I deserve to live in a clean home & I deserve to feel like my environment is habitable

I need to exercise —> I deserve to have a healthy body & I deserve to feel healthy and strong in my own body

I need to get more sleep —> I deserve to have a healthy sleep schedule & I deserve to feel refreshed and energized when I wake up

I need to eat better —> I deserve to have a balanced diet & I deserve to feel well-fed and nourished

I need to be more positive —> I deserve to have a positive mindset & I deserve to feel happy and uplifted

I need to be mentally stable —> I deserve to have a good mental well-being & I deserve to feel mental clarity, happiness, and stability

Etc.

6 months ago

Moon Phases Correspondences

Moon Phases Correspondences

New Moon

New beginnings

Purification

Love and romance

Health

Fresh starts

New projects

Personal Growth

Removal of bad habits

Binding spells

Bringing things to justice 

Banishing

Dreaming/Prophecies

Banishing magick

Waxing Moon

Constructive Magick

Love

Wealth

Success

Courage

Friendship

Luck

Health/Healing

Growth

Protection

Prosperity

Attraction

Any type of positive magick

Financial Growth

Full Moon

Good for all types of magick

Love

Knowledge

Money

Dreams

Protection

Divination

Cleansing and charging crystals and tools

Psychic awarness

Family and Friends

Protection

Waning Moon

Banishing magick

Bindings

Removing addictions

Clearing negativity from your life

Getting rid of illnesses and sicknesses 

Harvests

Exorcism

Cleansing

Getting rid of bad habits

tip jar

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silly-gremline - Gremlin
Gremlin

18She/theyFrutiger Aqua Enthusiast

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