【XIV】 TRIGGER FINGER

just one psychotic episode will change your life, forever. it'll alter your self perception beyond recognition. you'll remember who you were before, back when you were (relatively) sane, always been sane, and you won't recognize her anymore. she'll feel more like a sister. you're still the same, you are--but you aren't. you're different, you know you are. You're different in ways you cannot articulate, in ways your loved ones cannot truly grasp. you've experienced something most people believe is impossible to experience. likely because it is. it was something impossible, grand, and terrifying. the most scared you've ever felt in your life. God looked down on you and laughed, and finally, finally you know what it feels like to be that small and vulnerable. you can't go back to before, when you were naive, ignorant to your size. but it's okay. you're okay, now. it's over and you're safe. and you've always been safe, really, it wasn't real, but the trauma is. the trauma is real and it's lasting.

and it's not real. and you know it's not real. but sometimes you get scared again. so, so, so scared, because it was traumatizing and now you're left with flashbacks to a time when the world didn't make sense, when you weren't yourself, when you were small and confused and lost and could not understand yourself let alone be understood--and it feels real again. but you don't believe it, not really, you know you don't. you know it's not real. it's not psychosis round 2, but you're still so so scared--scared that you're wrong, that it is real, scared that you'll go back there--that you'll lose the sanity you grappled for. fought for. but you don't. not yet, at least. the flashback passes, same as any other flashback. but the fear lingers. you'll fear losing control like that for the rest of your life. years of sanity, remission, and you're still afraid, because you know what that felt like and it was scary. it's weird to believe again, when you don't really believe, it's weird to relive unreality while knowing you're within reality. you can feel your sanity, you know it's there, because it's saying "this isn't real and we know it's not real. we know this. but I am so so so scared anyway. I am so scared of experiencing it again. I am so scared that I was right and now I'm wrong."

psychosis is traumatic and trauma leaves you with flashbacks. and sometimes it feels like you're there again. like you've slipped away again. and it's scary. but you'll be back, I know you will, because I'm back, I'm okay, and you are too. I love you. I love all of you. love yourselves for me.

Fruit Correspondences

Apple: spirit work, offerings, love, healing, beauty, wisdom, harvest

Apricot: love, self love

Avocado: beauty, love, lust, fertility, spell work

Banana: wealth, luck, spirituality, religion, masculinity

Blueberry: protection, banishment, curses

Blackberry: protection, fertility, femininity, funerals, afterlife, moving on

Cantaloupe: spell work, protection, grounding, energy work

Cherry: lust, love, fertility

Clementine: childhood, dreams

Coconut: protection, cleansing, femininity

Cranberry: holidays, blood magic, spirit work

Date: fertility, luck, money

Dragon fruit: lust, passion, spell work

Durian: curses, cleansing, protection

Fig: happiness, divination, love

Grapefruit: cleansing

Grape: money, spell work, fertility, offerings

Guava: love, self love, lust

Honeydew: cleansing, energy, love

Jackfruit: divination, spell work, happiness

Kiwifruit: health, love, lust, happiness

Kumquat: luck, health, money

Lemon: cleansing, purification, protection, curse breaking

Lime: cleansing, protection, love

Lychee: love, self love, femininity, beauty

Mango: love, lust, fertility

Nectarine: love, self love, spell work

Orange: cleansing, protection, divination

Papaya: curse breaking, banishing, spirit work, love

Passion fruit: lust, love, passion

Peach: fertility, love, happiness, spirit work

Pear: offerings, happiness, luck, money, confidence

Persimmon: healing, love, luck, protection

Pineapple: protection, health, offerings, money, luck

Plantain: fertility, masculinity, lust, passion

Plum: love, healing, offerings

Pomegranate: offerings, blood magic, fertility, divination, spell work

Prune: cleansing, protection

Raspberry: love, dreams, health

Strawberry: love, wishes, dreams, happiness

Starfruit: lunar/solar magic, spell work, cleansing

Tangerine: solar magic, strength, energy work

Tomato: protection, cleansing, love, passion

Watermelon: healing, femininity, lust, love, spirit work, cleansing

Tip Jar

Moon Phases Correspondences

New Moon

New beginnings

Purification

Love and romance

Health

Fresh starts

New projects

Personal Growth

Removal of bad habits

Binding spells

Bringing things to justice 

Banishing

Dreaming/Prophecies

Banishing magick

Waxing Moon

Constructive Magick

Love

Wealth

Success

Courage

Friendship

Luck

Health/Healing

Growth

Protection

Prosperity

Attraction

Any type of positive magick

Financial Growth

Full Moon

Good for all types of magick

Love

Knowledge

Money

Dreams

Protection

Divination

Cleansing and charging crystals and tools

Psychic awarness

Family and Friends

Protection

Waning Moon

Banishing magick

Bindings

Removing addictions

Clearing negativity from your life

Getting rid of illnesses and sicknesses 

Harvests

Exorcism

Cleansing

Getting rid of bad habits

tip jar

Cryptidcore Starterpack

Anything vintage, old Polaroid Cameras, newspapers, old photos, cds and tapes, iykyk

Keeping a book of your research, with sketches, notes, details, newspaper arrivals pasted in the book is just-

Okay- lock picking??? Like- it’s such a specific hobby but it GIVES

BROOO- FLANNELS???? Like- Especially orange or brown flannels. It’s so basic but on brand

A denim jacket or bag with Cryptid patches are simple but nice

Having books on paranormal research, folklore, mushrooms, amphibians, ANYTHING about mystery solving, etc. will do

Cavetown, Mother Mother, Penelope Scott, Nirvana, are good for cryptidcore

Knitted/crocheted sweaters and socks okay-

Being interesting in coins, gardening, mushrooms, amphibians, 90’s tech, drawing, any nature based interest is also great for starting

Cuffed jeans, band t shirts, converse,

I cannot stress this enough… GET👏MORE👏INFORMATION👏ABOUT👏YOUR👏LOCAL👏CRYPTIDS👏

Hey here's some free Sims games. Don't pay for digital media in this economy.

Sims 1

Sims 2

Sims 3

Sims 4

Here is also all non-PC sims games. As well as links to a variety of emulators:

PS2

PS3

XBOX

XBOX 360

PSP

DS

Wii

GameCube

Game Boy Advance/Other emulator

Rewatched Gravity Falls

Dream blunt rotation 🔥🔥

This is my piece for “Fanzines R Magic” hosted by @_regenko_ on Instagram!

🔪

I LOVE ITTT

kat doll real

Yeah I made at Kat doll lol

I’ve wanted to make a doll of Kat for a while and welp now I did

Time: 2 days

Materials I used:

The victim: Ghoulia Yelps G3 doll

Acrylic Paint

Rerooting tool (from ShimmerLocks)

Nylon hair (jungle fever from the doll planet)

Chains

Random heart necklace I scrapped for her

Bad matte sealer (I’m soon switching to msc so yeah)

Rainbow high mesh leggings and shirt (to cover up the paint shops

Shadow high shoes

That’s kinda it lol

There are a few changes I did (belt and necklace) but that’s cuz for the belt the last one I made for my first was not good and I tried glueing tiny plat six diamonds on it and they kept falling off, so i went with chains, and for the necklace, I would’ve used clay to make it but the clay I have is shit and it will turn to sand in a few months, so I went with this heart necklace that I had cuz the dang Chain thingy that opens won’t open.

I like the way she turned out and just thought I share her :)

few pics while I was making her

Not much just rerooting and styling it I didn’t take that many pics

NO BITCHES?

🧍‍♀️ ❌ 🧍‍♀️ ❌ 🧍‍♀️ ❌ 🧍‍♀️ ❌