Theyre Fighting A God In The Morning

Fifty Shades of Mierda. Okay, actually forty. There are more in the text, they just aren't voiced.

Note: those were ripped directly from the game files, as they aren't included in the OST. You can also listen to them in this playlist on PinkyJulien's Youtube channel or in this playlist by Slow Walkthroughs.

Lucanis: *looks at you*

Rookanis Kisses

Viago and Teia getting a letter one day (technically it was addressed to just Teia but they were On again so they're reading it together. there's another addressed to Viago waiting in his room which he has not slept in for three days and probably won't find go back to for at least a week more) that says:

We're eloping to Nevarra and Lucanis is abdicating. Giving you a heads up because you're cool. Enjoy the fallout!

Best Regards, Rook and Lucanis Ingellvar

What follows this unceremonious departure from Antiva is a level of chaos rivaling even Zevran's reign of terror as all the Talons scramble to grab the empty seat Lucanis left behind to live his best life as a househusband. House Dellamorte that has limped along clinging to power through blood and cruelty finally falls and in the resulting chaos and confusion either Teia or Viago end up seizing the seat of the First Talon. They're not sure whether to thank Lucanis or strangle him for causing such upheaval. Lucanis is too happy spending his days baking bread and testing out new recipes to really care.

there's something truly fucked about lucanis showing no interest in becoming first talon and even stating that's illario's calling instead, because he's right. it's explicitly stated that illario is a lot more like your average crow than the ones we get to know in veilguard. zevran would confirm this too if the writers remembered he exists. illario isn't a victim to their selfless idealism because that's not what crows are supposed to be. they're wealthy criminals, any "selflessness" they might possess must be bought. illario learned nothing but cruelty from caterina's cruel teachings and he's a better crow for it. he's not better person for it of course, that's not how you raise a well adjusted individual, and still it feels like caterina resents him for being exactly what she made him. it's just so unfair? she likes lucanis because he still cares, but she didn't teach him to care. he cares in spite (heh) of the things she taught him, of the violence, of starvation, and he gets special treatment for that. illario's the monster caterina wants to pretend she's not, and she hates him for it. imagine that! being punished for being someone's true successor. your own brother says he's entertaining the idea of becoming first talon only until she thinks better of it and passes the title down to you instead, but that never happens. and when you fall on schemes (because that's all you know) to earn the life you're owed, when you have to kill your own brother for it and feel horrible because you killed your own brother, his death is still not enough to sway her mind. one day he'll return from the dead, and again you'll scheme and it still won't be enough. your bother is made king and he keeps the crown he doesn't even want, the one he sometimes forgets he was given. and you get nothing but humiliation, he may even throw you in prison. my god. they'd catch my ass barking in the streets.

STOP THIS IS THE FUNNIEST PHOTO OF LUCANIS I'VE EVER

Collection of Lucanis' thought fragments from Inner Demons quest

Edit: added a Spite one I missed (ty @carabas)

i'm obsessed with Lucanis tender heart Dellamorte deciding the night before what is absolutely going to be the hardest fight of his life (so far) and possibly his last day alive is the perfect moment to make love for the first time ever.

and i say 'make love' and not 'lose his virginity' or 'have sex', because i fully believe that's how he sees it - the concept of virginity likely means nothing to him, has never concerned him, and his feelings for Rook go so far beyond the mechanics or urges for sex. this is THE culmination of all his yearning - to be close to them, to be vulnerable with them, to pour himself and his feelings into them and know without a doubt they'll be there with love and open arms to receive it and give the same to him. this man is SMITTEN.

he knows it's going to be over in a matter of seconds (it is). he knows it'll probably be awkward (it's not, he's shocked by how much it's not). he knows they need to sleep, they'll be putting their bodies through hell soon enough. but none of that matters anymore because he has the love of his goddamn life back, healthy and whole and falling into his arms. they have the rest of their lives (however long that is) to get better at this part. so yeah, he's going to have his three seconds of love making and he's going to soak in an entire night of their company and connection and conversation when they should be sleeping, he's going to greedily take every single moment he can, because he's done denying himself. they love and accept him, and he's starting to love and accept himself, too.

Lucanis Dellamorte, the man that you are.

cis+ Lucanis who isn't transgender but he's always been drawn to femininity and that's why he's always so tightly controlled in how he dresses and presents himself

he allows himself long hair and well-tailored outfits of high quality fabrics, but he resolutely Does Not Look at any skirts or dresses when the team goes shopping

he lets Bellara paint his nails after Emmrich and Davrin go first, because it's just a funny little joke that the boys get their nails painted too, and then hides them under gloves until the paint chips because he can't bear to either look at his hands or scrub the paint off

he has to mind his facial expressions to make sure he doesn't give Illario's eyeliner and gold jewelry too many jealous stares. it would be wrong if he wore that. he's mentally comparing himself to other women instead of men and thinks he'd be too ugly--

or worse: everyone would finally see. they'd look at him and know how much he enjoys it, wants it, not just as wealthy status symbols and peacocking and machiasmo, but genuinely getting to be soft and pretty

so when Rook (of any gender) rescues him, and buys courting gifts for him, and treats him gently, and doesn't pressure him to take a dominant sexual role in the relationship ...

well. it takes him a long time to accept that. to put aside all the Antivan ideals of masculinity and the Crows' attitude toward casual sex and the perfect stoic male heir his grandmother wanted

to believe Rook might want him, love him, be just as smitten by him in the soft moments, not the sexy dangerous assassin he worried they expected him to be