There Are Already So Many Delicious Meta Posts On Everyone's Specific Thoughts On What's Going On In

What some people don't understand is that Dabi's dance celebration comes from the place of real life victims finding relief in seeing Touya facing his abuser and devastating completely his ego.

It's his victory but also a moment to breath and be there on top of a mountain, dancing because the truth is finally revealed and now everyone knows how the person they venerate is the person that destroyed you in body and mind. They are all in his side, they all claim for him to rise up, while you'd be dead and forgotten, another martyr on his glorious life tale.

But you are not done and you are not gone and as long as your legs can move you're gonna dance and as long as your jaw can move you're gonna scream to the heavens that that person is not getting sanctified. He's going to the hell he put you in and he's gonna answer to the rage he put in you and he'd never ever be able to outrun the damage he caused you.

⠀

Dabi's dance is one of the best moments in bnha.

It's just so narratively crunchy that Spite writes poetry as his chosen form of self expression. Especially given that he clearly struggles to communicate with the people around him, the fact that he writes poetry in the scant moments he has command of Lucanis's hands really cements other textual indicators that Spite is frustrated by his difficulty with communicating. Over and over again he asks to talk to Rook, to be heard, but when he does get the chance to talk, he isn't understood, which must be unbelievably frustrating for the poor guy. So he practices! In writing! And that writing gives such a neat look into Spite's mind and how he conceptualizes himself and his situation. So I'm gonna dust off my English degree and yell about his poetry.

1.

a PEACE

cut from the ALL

golden stranded weaves

PROTECTION CAGE

keep them OUT

keep me IN

As with all poetry, there's a lot of room to interpretation, and I think that's especially intentional for Spite's worldview as a spirit. He's from the Fade, which operates on perception and emotion instead of concrete immutabilities like the material world. That being said, I think this first poem is Spite trying to process and talk about a.) his own violent summoning from the Fade and b.) Lucanis's mental Ossuary.

Spite was ripped from the Fade against his will, a piece of a larger infinity cut and captured. Likewise, Lucanis creates the Ossuary in his mind as a (poor) coping mechanism for dealing with what happened. Spite recognizes this as an attempt to create peace in emotional turmoil.

The golden stranded weaves evoke the imagery used in the narration explaining how the dagger cuts through the Veil. It's visually represented as gold geometric lines separating the Fade from the material world, which may be a hint to how spirits see the Veil: a barrier made of gold strands that has also stranded Spite from the world he knew. Given that Lucanis's mind Ossuary is also a part of the Fade, this same barrier applies here as well, stranding him and Spite from the freedom they seek.

The Veil and the mental Ossuary therefore function as what Spite calls a "protection cage," designed both to keep its occupants safe and keep them contained. Arguably, Spite could also be talking about the magic that keeps him bonded to Lucanis, magic that is likely similar in nature to how the Veil works given that blood magic is what sustains both. Protecting Spite and Lucanis from being hurt further by the Venatori but also keeping Spite from going home. He's stuck in Lucanis whether he likes it or not. This is further complicated by the mental Ossuary, which Lucanis has unconsciously constructed to keep the people he loves out of harm's way (protecting them) while also keeping Spite trapped.

This is Spite's first cry for help. He recognizes that he is trapped in multiple ways: he is forced to share a body that aggressively does not want to share with him, and the part of the Fade that Lucanis is connected to mentally is also a prison, one that does not respond like Spite would normally expect the Fade to respond. Lucanis mentions in Sea of Blood that "The Fade does whatever a spirit wants. Real walls and chains, not so much," but Spite tells Rook in Inner Demons that he can't touch the locks in Lucanis's mind despite it technically being a part of the Fade. My personal theory is it has something to do with the blood magic that bound them together in the first place, but regardless of why, it's understandably extremely frustrating for Spite to feel trapped both in the material world and the Fade, neither of which respond to him as he expects. To Spite, it must feel like the very laws of physics have stopped working as they should.

2.

scentsing the BEYOND

rememburnings from before

when one was infinity

not a small shade

not a SHARP hooked claw

in a gut

takemeouttakemeoutletmeout

riiiiip

Here we get to see how Spite has been learning to use language to artistically express complex abstract ideas, which speaks to him having mature, adult intelligence, given that abstract thought is a marker of higher-order cognition. In this poem, Spite is no longer simply describing his situation as he is in the first poem, he is self-reflecting and forming his own identity.

It's clear in this first line and in several points throughout the game that Spite's favorite sense is smell, possibly because it is a sense that he can unintrusively access and therefore isn't barred by Lucanis. So he is not just sensing, he is specifically "scentsing" what he calls "the BEYOND," likely the Fade, referencing his ability to pull things from it (especially considering that the little icon on an accessible spot says "a sense of something").

But he's not just talking about the Fade as a place, he's reminiscing of the Fade as a time. But the portmanteau he uses here, "rememburnings" suggests an attempt to explain the emotion he associates with this remembrance. The memory is painful. It burns. It hurts him. He remembers being a part of the Fade, being part of "infinity," and now he is only a "small shade" of what he once was.

But that's not all. He's also demonstrating that he understands how Lucanis perceives him, sees that he is hurting Lucanis. He knows that he was force-fed to Lucanis (quite literally according to his banter with Bellara where he says it happened when "They fed me something. Like he was a parasite in uncooked meat."), which explains why Spite conceptualizes himself as being a foreign, damaging object "in a gut." And, importantly, he doesn't take satisfaction from that. The tone he is using here suggests grief and desperation, especially the "takemeouttakemeoutletmeout." He wants to be free, yes, but he also wants to stop being an object of pain. And yet the last line suggests that Spite knows that separation would also be painful. It would be another ripping, because he is a claw now. As much as he is trapped by Lucanis, he is embedded in him as well, and extraction would tear them both apart.

3.

toes wiggle

when he drinks the brew

a small shade

and a wounded spirit

sitting

there is STILL

we are still

there is an INFINITE

there is a SHELTER

there is a STORM outside the center

UGH Spite your MIND!!! This poem makes me want to cry fr. It's so much more concrete than the other two, showing how he's becoming more familiar and comfortable with Lucanis's body and the material world. The tone is gentle, like a relieved sigh, with none of the urgency and desperation of the others. This is the first time we see Spite describe a physical sense other than smell. He notes that Lucanis wiggles his toes when he drinks his favorite coffee, suggesting that this is something Spite feels as an occupant of the same body, though he likes to manifest himself as separate. It confirms that he feels what Lucanis feels through shared senses, though has his own interpretations of sensory input.

Spite still conceptualizes himself as a "small shade," but no longer is he a "SHARP hooked claw." He is still hurt, still affected by what he and Lucanis went through, but he now sees Lucanis as more than the body he's trapped in. He sees Lucanis as a fellow "wounded spirit," hurting and healing in the same way that he is. They are sitting together, feeling together, and they have found stillness. They've finally made peace.

While he may no longer be a part of the Fade as he once was, Spite has found that being and living with Lucanis is another "INFINITE" that he gets to experience. He is safe, sheltered in their bond. It's no longer a cage. It's just protection now. And while Spite can feel the absolute mess that's going on with the world and the Fade and everything they're dealing with, he is centered now with Lucanis, which makes it all manageable.

All this leads me to believe that after Inner Demons and their little coffee date with Rook, Spite and Lucanis are at a point in their relationship where Lucanis is much more accommodating of Spite and where Spite is able to explore and experience the material world with a certain level of patience. He no longer feels like he has to bully Lucanis into letting him pilot because he understands physical space now and can experience things alongside Lucanis as he experiences them. Lucanis is more confident letting Spite speak through him because he's no longer worried Spite will wrest complete control from him and/or do something to hurt them. As Lucanis says in the final romance scene, they're no longer afraid. Lucanis now trusts Spite's reports about what happened and how much time has passed while he was asleep, which suggests that Spite has earned that trust.

At this point, the line between demon of Spite and spirit of Determination seems extremely blurry at best, and it really makes me wonder if gaining a physical body through means other than normal possession allows spirits to develop more complex cognition and emotional versatility beyond just their purpose.

I think to think of Spite’s gender as “I’ll have what he’s having”

ik some people like to use it or they pronouns for spite bc spirits don't technically have gender and i understand and respect the hustle but i do think it is so funny that lucanis just assigns spite he/him at possession. lucanis is like oh he looks like me and i am a he/him so spite will be he/him too and spite who has already gotten stuck to the flypaper that is lucanis dellamorte's one and only mortal body doesn't even care. he's just like well yeah this might as well happen

in honor of mary kirby telling us about ace lucanis here is a very hidden bit of banter you can only get if you 1. got the cutscenes to get emmrich with strife 2. had emmrich choose lichdom and 3. run around with him and lucanis before he actually becomes a lich. audio from here, this would probably never happen on my own file lol

cis+ Lucanis who isn't transgender but he's always been drawn to femininity and that's why he's always so tightly controlled in how he dresses and presents himself

he allows himself long hair and well-tailored outfits of high quality fabrics, but he resolutely Does Not Look at any skirts or dresses when the team goes shopping

he lets Bellara paint his nails after Emmrich and Davrin go first, because it's just a funny little joke that the boys get their nails painted too, and then hides them under gloves until the paint chips because he can't bear to either look at his hands or scrub the paint off

he has to mind his facial expressions to make sure he doesn't give Illario's eyeliner and gold jewelry too many jealous stares. it would be wrong if he wore that. he's mentally comparing himself to other women instead of men and thinks he'd be too ugly--

or worse: everyone would finally see. they'd look at him and know how much he enjoys it, wants it, not just as wealthy status symbols and peacocking and machiasmo, but genuinely getting to be soft and pretty

so when Rook (of any gender) rescues him, and buys courting gifts for him, and treats him gently, and doesn't pressure him to take a dominant sexual role in the relationship ...

well. it takes him a long time to accept that. to put aside all the Antivan ideals of masculinity and the Crows' attitude toward casual sex and the perfect stoic male heir his grandmother wanted

to believe Rook might want him, love him, be just as smitten by him in the soft moments, not the sexy dangerous assassin he worried they expected him to be

~ thirst ~

I do find it really funny that Lucanis just immediately started referring to Spite with he/him. Like Spite’s a demon, realistically “it” would probably be more appropriate, but instead Spite got handed he/him pronouns and just rolled with it lmao

STOP THIS IS THE FUNNIEST PHOTO OF LUCANIS I'VE EVER

Turns out you can smile. A real one, even. And more than once.

I'm so sorry (am I really tho?) I really wanted to try this mod in different cutscenes 😅