Im Helping Put On An Event Today So Mostly Ive Been Able To Distract Myself And Chug Water. Just Came

✨️🫙✨️Spells✨️🫙✨️

The mind unconsciously loves problems because they give you an identity of sorts. This is normal, and it is insane.

“Problem” means that you are dwelling on a situation mentally without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now and that you are unconsciously making it part of your sense of self.

You become so overwhelmed by your life situation that you lose your sense of life, of Being. Or you are carrying in your mind the insane burden of a hundred things that you will or may have to do in the future instead of focusing your attention on the one thing that you can do now.

Eckhart Tolle

This is brilliant.

Tip from my mom when she modeled:

Pick a we¡ght you never ever wanna be heavier than.

Subtract 5.

That's your "stop e@ting" we|ght. If you're more than that on any given morning before water/coffee, then you f@st until you're under it. Easy.

Where are all my adult anas?

It's a different world stepping into Eds shoes again half way through life.

I don't have to worry about my parents getting mad at me

I don't have to worry about my school teachers getting mad at me

I don't have the typical teenage drama that spurred this mentality shift

I remember Ed being a call a shout for help just to be seen and cared for as a teenager. But now no one sees me, I have no watchful eyes on me. No one whispering under their breath, no parents staring at me across the dinner table as I play with a half eaten plate, no boy trouble or pubescent drama fueled by hormonal rage and indifference. I'm not doing this to impress the boy I like or try to fit in with the popular kids.

I am invisible

Except from myself.

I'm in a strange state of visible translucency. I tell people I'm fasting and they believe me, I tell people I'm too tired to come meet them for dinner they believe me.

Fuck, even my live out partner whose been here for the last 3 days who I have said the words 4norexi4 to and who has watched me consume nothing but tea for 3 days doesn't question my choices.

How different a world it is when you're seen but not seen. I am validated but I remain a shadow.

If you dont have anyone to split with (like me) you can ask for a to go box right away and put half your food in that. and if youre like me you wont eat the leftovers because youll forget theyre there.

Okokok since a bunch of you liked the last one, I'm gonna share more.

Tips from my ex-model mom who's still gorgeous, th1n, and healthy at 50:

Because there's so much "oh it's not sustainable oh you'll d1e etc." But she's done it for years and she's my idol. So I'll dish about what she does.

Eating out tip: Never order a full restaurant meal for yourself

I've never seen her do it. When we sit down, she does one of two things:

Asks someone (usually me or a friend her size) what they'd like to split with her. She eats a little less than whoever she shares with.

Orders a lighter, protein-centric appetizer—think unbreaded chicken wings, beef carpaccio, a caprese salad. She eats maybe 2/3 of it and then offers a bite to everyone else.

She also never ever ever ever ever orders soda or milkshakes or any other "fun" drinks. If she drinks alcohol, it's a single beer or glass of wine.

And she may take a bite of a dessert for the table, making sure she enjoys it, but never ever has more than two bites.

Do it for the skinny hands, the thigh gap and the visible collar bones

That makes a lot of sense. Yesterday even sitting/standing hurt. Today Im feeling way better. Yay for Thursday fasting buddy! :D

Day 2 of liquid fast. Got woke up a bunch last night by weather alarms but didnt have a tornado. Im so tired. Busy day yesterday, busier day today. Should keep my mind off food. @fluxusesque how's yours going?

Ended up breaking my fast yesterday by eating a big salad.

oof

Crying.