Why Not You? Your Dreams Are Achievable. They Are Within Reach. If Someone Out There Is In The Exact

I had a dream where I confronted my father and even though I don't remember his answers I feel better knowing it's not me.

You Can’t SEDUCE When You Lack STRATEGY

urTOOspoiled Big Sis Series

The main thing I’ve noticed about men is that they ALWAYS date with intention and a play.

This is BOTH from good men and the hobosexuals. They know what they’re doing.

INTENTION: an aim or a plan

PLAY: a report on what is happening in a sports game; plan breakdown

Men NEVER “go with the flow”. They either have ill, self centered (using you as a placeholder/booty call) or mutually beneficial intentions (marriage, FWB etc.).

In addition, they NEVER aimlessly find their way towards their goal. They have a goal and they break down the actions behind the accomplishment.

Sometimes it’s your heart. Sometimes it’s your life insurance plan.

It’s time we, as women, buckle up and have our own agendas lined up.

LAW 4

Always Say Less Than Necessary

I love my ladies but we do indeed pillow talk too much to the men we are dating. We tell them our backstories. We tell them how our exes did us dirty and all they do is sit back and take notes for when it’s their turn to do the same.

ITS TIME WE LIE AND LEAVE OUT INFO.

In addition, stop letting men lead the convo because you’re too intimidated to hold the conversation. It’s your job to get him to spill as much info about himself for you to gather a conclusion about your intentions with him.

LAW 9

Win Through Actions, Never Through Argument

Get it through your thick skull that you’ll never win an argument with a man using your words. Definitely not if you raise your voice.

A lot of women message me stating how they keep “telling” their man how to treat them and I sigh & laugh because I remember when I was that ditzy.

Men are indeed like dogs. You’ll get almost nowhere yelling or repeating yourself to a dog whose insisting on not listening to you (i.e. pulling the leash while you call their name.).

You can let the dog pull you and continue to yell…but where does that get you expect IGNORED and IN DISTRESS?

Put your foot down…and out the door. Just for the love of God stop playing dumb for peen.

LAW 17

Keep Others In Suspended Terror: Cultivate An Air of Unpredictability

“Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables. Be deliberately unpredictable.”

It’s one thing to be mysterious but it’s another to add the razzle dazzle of randomness in the mix. You see, you can predict someone being mysterious- being somewhat reserved or private.

Be unpredictable and have a moment where you’re transparent. Everyone shouldn’t have the same (good) impression of you. Some may view you as serious and laid back while others couldn’t imagine you being nothing other than bubbly. Shake shit up.

Closing Thoughts:

Men have created a culture of sharing the secrets of using women to their advantage. They’re not clueless nor uneducated on how to treat you correctly therefore it’s unproductive to attempt to teach them.

They are simply using the strategy their barber, daddy, coach, teammates and Pastor passed along to them since you (most likely) weren’t taught any better. They have a community-a village that molds them, something women do not have in general.

My goal here is to create community while encouraging young women to use LOGIC when it comes to romance. It’s both for safety and spoiled brat purposes.

Self Care Tips for the High Maintenance Woman 🌸

Life is tough…. but don’t let it consume you!

 Hey babes, It’s your girl Chichi! it’s no secret that living in the 21st century is tough. It seems like there are more demands on women than ever before, and the expectations for what a woman should be capable of doing at any given moment seem to increase with each passing day. The result? Stress levels through the roof, not enough time or money to do anything about it, and an emotional rollercoaster that never stops running.

Self-care is important for everyone, but it’s especially crucial for women in the age of self-doubt, social media judgment, and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The good news is you don’t have to live this way!  Further down in this blog post, we’ll discuss 3 self-care tips for women so you can finally start taking better care of yourself without sacrificing who you are. 💅🏾

So… Chichi what even is self-care?

When you care for yourself, you are taking time to recharge your batteries. Its a form of tapping into your Feminine Energy! You’re self-nurturing, taking care of your body and mind so you can be the best version of yourself. It’s not selfish or a sign that you don’t love others; it’s simply about giving yourself what you need to do all the hard work in life. If you are interested in some other tips; “On how to tap into your Feminine Energy click here!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day for yourself, doing something that makes you feel good inside out, surrounding yourself with self-loving people, or treating yourself to something special every once in a while..

Self care is crucial for us High Maintenance Ladies!

A lack of self-care comes from never feeling like we have enough time, money, or self-love to do the things we need. We don’t prioritize ourselves because of our own self-doubt and lack of self-worth. Keep scrolling down to find out what 3 self care tips I focus most of my attention on!

#01 Prioritize  Sleeping Early

Want to improve your looks, memory, concentration, energy, and productivity? Want to more easily maintain a healthy weight? Want to strengthen your immune system and live happier, healthier, and longer? TRY GETTING AT LEAST 7-8 HOURS OF REST EACH NIGHT!

How you put yourself to bed and what time you turn off the lights makes a huge impact on how productive you’ll be the following morning, as well as our looks, memory, concentration, energy, and maintaining  healthy weight. I find it repulsive that western society stigmatizes sleep. Glorifying those who can push through an all-nighter and dismissing those who prioritize sleep as lazy or unmotivated.

Humans are not like the owls, or cats, or bats that sleep in the day and are awake at night. We are physiologically programmed to do the opposite. This phenomenon has been understood for thousands of years and was recently validated by modern science.

If your like me and used to be a night owl I literally had to train my brain to sleep early as 8-10pm! After a few weeks I fully became used to it and I’ve been doing this for the past year and a half! Here’s how I was able to do it:

 1.Avoid Large Meals Right Before Bedtime. Eat dinner at least 3 hours before sleeping

2.Start prepping yourself for bed in the Early Evening 7-8pm. Keep lights low. Limit exposure to bright light in the evenings. Relax. Worrying about a problem or a long to-do list can be a recipe for insomnia. Well before you turn in, try writing down your worries and make a list of tasks you want to remember. This “worry journal” may help move these distracting thoughts from your mind. Closer to bedtime, try com¬forting rituals that may help lull you to sleep: Listen to soft, calming music, take a warm bath, do some easy stretches or read a book or magazine by soft light.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation right before you head to bed:

“I deserve to sleep 8 hours each night, because I am worth it!”

#02 Stay Active & Keep moving!

We know that staying active is one of the best ways to keep our bodies healthy. But did you know it can also improve your overall well-being and quality of life?

Here are just a few of the ways physical activity can help you feel better, look better and live better. Because, why not?

Regular physical activity can relieve stress, anxiety, depression and anger. You know that “feel good sensation” you get after doing something physical? Think of it as a happy pill with no side effects! Most people notice they feel better over time as physical activity becomes a regular part of their lives.It keeps you physically fit and able.

Without regular activity, your body slowly loses its strength, stamina and ability to function properly. It’s like the old saying: you don’t stop moving from growing old, you grow old from stopping moving. Exercise increases muscle strength, which in turn increases your ability to do other physical activities.

I dedicate an hour a day to practicing either Yoga (for relaxation, raising my vibration, & aligning my chakra’s) & Pilates (for stretching & maintaining my figure) with my little sister.

For those who don’t know what pilates is I’ll give you a quick summary..

Pilates is a challenging low impact exercise method that balances strength with mobility, aligns the body, fine-tunes movement patterns, and strengthens the deeper muscles of the core. It helps strengthen your core, Posture, reduces mensural pain, eliminates stress, boosts flexibility & agility enhances body awareness.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose exercise!

“I deserve keep my body fit, because I am worth it!”

#03 Make a habit of eating healthy

Practicing self-care eating means making thoughtful choices about the foods that you put into your body.  

Being mindful of what your putting inside of your body is important! Think about it you were born with this body only. would you want to feed it things that would be detrimental to your health?

If you think about it..without attending to one’s own bodily, emotional, and mental needs, how can that same person attend to anything or anyone else?

The food that you choose should provide energy and the nutrition that you need to manage your weight and stay healthy for the long-term. That includes protein, vitamins, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and healthy fats.

To practice self-care eating, ask yourself these 6 questions when you are in the grocery store, planning your meals for the week, or sitting down to eat:

Am I eating to fuel my body? Food is energy. If you are choosing food for other reasons, try writing in a food journal to better understand those choices.

Am I including fresh fruits and vegetables? Fruits and vegetables provide important micro-nutrition as well as fibre. Good gut health will lead to a longer life! reduce risk of Colon Cancer.

Am I meeting my hydration goals? 64 oz or 2L of water, each day help you maintain regularity, lubricate joints, avoid headaches, and regulate temperature.

 Am I eating at mealtimes? An eating schedule helps you avoid mindless snacking, impulsive or emotional eating, and helps keep calorie intake in check.

Am I focused on the meal, or distracted by something else? Eat in your eating place. Avoid eating in the car, in front of the TV, or in your relaxing place.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose nutritious meals! 

“I deserve to eat this healthy food, because I am worth it!”

In Conclusion…

We all need to care for ourselves for different reasons. Whether you have a family, work full time outside of the home, or are studying to become a professional and it’s hard to balance both responsibilities with self-care.

Self-care is an essential part of living a healthy life. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you may not be able to take care of the people who matter most to you.

Taking time for yourself without feeling guilty, isn’t selfish. It’s essential. It may be difficult at first, but it’s worth the effort if you want to feel healthy and be there for the people you love the most.

If making yourself a priority isn’t coming naturally to you yet, don’t give up—it only gets easier with practice. It takes different forms depending on your needs and personality preferences. One self-care routine could involve taking walks outside or listening to music while another might mean reading a good book by candlelight.

So, find what works best and inspires you and make yourself a priority.

Have any self care tips you’d like to add? let us know in the comments! (chichi xo)

want to see more posts like these? follow @miss-femme-fatale​ for more!

Source: @miss-femme-fatale​

It turns to ash in my mouth.

Things I Have to do for My Sanity

1. Wake up at the first alarm - no snoozing and no going lying around in bed. Getting up straight away and head to the bathroom. It’s going to suck initially but you’ll get used to it in a few days.

2. Mental self care: 30 minute meditation, brain games mental math, reading, news. Knowledge is sexy and don’t deny yourself sexiness.

3. Daily review in my diary at the beginning and end of my day: what went well, what didn’t, what I need to accomplish to achieve my goals. This has tremendously helped my goals and keeping my motivation more consistent, especially at work. Analysing and correcting incremental changes creates long term success.

4. Cleaning up before bed - clothes, shoes, organising my bag, etc. I set a timer for 5 minutes and try to get as much done as possible.

5. Pick out my clothes the night before and steam iron them for the next day.

6. Face masks twice a week, a hair mask once a week, I scrub the soles of my feet with that foot scrubbing thingy once a week. Manicures every month because my nail beds are too sensitive to do it biweekly, iron supplements so that I’m not a moody bitch. Matching underwear to feel good about myself. Lavender spray on my pillow before sleeping so that I don’t get weird dreams.

7. Reading biographies and autobiographies. My mentor had suggested this to me and it’s amazing how literally I don’t have a single original experience - everything I’ve felt or mistakes I’ve made have already been done by someone else.

I’m going to curate a list of business books that I feel that have helped me the most recently.

8. I write a short essay everyday in the language I’m currently learning. I also end my day by talking about my day for at least 2 minutes in that language and I record it in voice memos to keep a track of my progress. I want to be fluent to a level where I can think in this language.

✨

I don’t generally share a lot about my personal life - none of you know my name or where I’m based and I feel comfortable doing that. But I do want to start giving out more insights to what I’m doing personally in my career - the good, the bad, the ugly.

Being self aware and honest to myself has helped me improve a lot. I know that shame is my Achilles heel, so now I’m reading books to combat that. I’ve caved in and decided to try therapy for a bit to see if what I’m doing is useful or not. My first session is tomorrow. Staying disciplined was my initial hurdle but the systems I’ve set (waking up early + habit stacking) have helped me slowly overcome that.

Work side, I’ve started establishing myself publicly more. I don’t want to reveal too much about what I do exactly but the good news is that our biggest competitor has noticed my progress (a former employee of that company came to us for an interview and directly asked our top management about me). It’s been 4 months that I’ve been working here but I know that next year I really have to swing the bat and hit a home run. I’ve decided to work on the field more and less in the office to really understand people’s needs and create unique solutions.

The daily/weekly/quarterly diary is definitely credited to my recent wins. That’s the biggest change I’ve made in my routine and i can already see that it’s working well. I’m going to continue refining and implementing that method.

Recent work methods I’ve decided to start working on (I’m not required to do these but I do it for my growth):

1. I’ve started studying popular companies’ business and revenue models in detail. Everything is adoptable and adaptable, you just have to figure out how to tweak something for your company’s clients and needs. Now I’ve decided that I want to keep a track of our competitors, their business models, their owners names, pricing strategy, their target audience etc etc on an excel sheet so that I’m aware with what’s happening in the market. 

2. I’ve started making client profiles. Every time I meet a client, I note down their name, the company name, what they were like, anything specific they seemed to like or want, how much they had paid us for a service, what their paying capacity could be, etc. 

With gritted teeth and eyes burning I will win.

On calm breath and a steady hand I will win.

A Guide to Mastery: Finding Your Life's Work

Mastery is what we hope to attain. We hope to get a point where we become master of our fields, experts of our work, and mentors to younger people. But the big question we ask ourselves is "what should I do?" "what can I do?" "what is my purpose in life?" and that is a very big question that we might spend our entire lives trying to figure out.

It is difficult now, especially when we hear people talk about their careers, we see updates on people's career changes on LinkedIn and everyone is vying for a job in big tech, big law, consulting, Wall Street and you feel left out, not good enough, in fact discouraged.

However, you can find fulfillment by taking this self-discovery one step at a time, at a pace that best suits your skills, and still rise to the top.

Here is how to find your Life's work:

Look back to your childhood

Often to figure out what you want to do or who you want to become you have to look back to your past, your childhood. What made you tick? What classes were most fun for you? Who did you enjoy watching or spending time with growing up? The answers can give you a peek into the kind of life you want. Growing up I enjoyed reading biographies of people. I was obsessed with how they became successful and how they set themselves apart - now my writing mirrors that.

2. Find your niche

The uncertainty or discomfort you feel could be caused by not fitting into one field. You feel like you can do a lot more than there is out there. This is a great feeling. if you feel this way do not be discouraged. It is your life's journey to figure out the intersection of your interest. It is a sign that you should try out multiple things. Your career may become an amalgamation of your interest, ideas, disciplines, and fields. Here are some intersections that I found in people I admire:

Design + Technology - Steve Jobs- Apple Co-founder, Brian Chesky - Airbnb Co-founder

Food + Technology - Apoorva Mehta; co-founder Instacart

Culture + Commerce - Most architects, designers fit this category

Science + Art - Trip Hawkins; founder of Electronic Arts

Community + technology - Whitney Wolfe Herd; Founder of Bumble

Food + business: Kaspar Basse; founder of Joe & The Juice

Sportsmanship + design - Phil Knight; co-founder of Nike

Environmentalism + Sportsmanship - Yvon Chouinard; founder of Patagonia

These people are at the top of their fields. You can start by having a double major, or minoring in a totally different field (Art + Finance, Biology + Sports management etc)

3. Resist the pressure of the majority

There is always a group of people on the other side of your interest and skills - parents, friends, professors, peers who want something different from what you aspire to. You love art but they remind you that the pay is meagre, you want be a lawyer but they tell you, you are not good enough for law. You see, the salary you get paid for doing something you love should not stop you from getting started. You will eventually become so good that the value you provide will eventually command a huge compensation but for now bend down and learn.

4. Find a mentor

Once you get a glimpse of what you feel like you want to do. Find a mentor, your mentor could be distant or imminent. A distant mentor could be a renowned expert, a person you stumble upon through a book, an interview etc. Their story inspires you and you somehow you feel seen, you goals aren't so impossible anymore. The imminent mentors are the people you meet through school, work and whose work has some skills you need to learn for your Life's work. Your relationship with them or experience with them is the closest to reality of your Life's Work. Learn as much as you can in this process.

Welcome to my A Guide to Mastery series inspired by the book Mastery.

Lol, pretty in pink lee😅get out of here

imagine being a mage in training and having to witness so many powerful mages act like idiots in front you i'd pack my bags and leave with master lee

Am I the only one who cannot get into their romance because of Colin's uncanny Valley look?

The things we say to hurt each other in order to protect ourselves sear themselves into the memory bank of us. They Taint each laugh, smile and touch. The things we say to hurt each other in order to protect against heartbreak break me down. I say them and wish you would be deaf in that second before. I say them only to barricade myself in, I say them to keep the enemy called hurt out. My heart is small and fragile, it takes me a millennium just to get over the little needless pains. I hurt so deeply my entire being flickers in and out of reality. A mirage of a person neither here nor there. I hate those things I said to you, but I was only protecting myself from certain death. I was only doing what came naturally. I see now that those paths I can no longer take, I am forging new roads in the dark places and spreading light there.

The words we say to each other in order to protect ourselves no longer exist. I close my mouth and listen, I analyse and am helpful. How can we move forward. The words we say to each other in order to nurture each other strengthen my heart. It burns with fire. I am.