It Turns To Ash In My Mouth.

You Can’t SEDUCE When You Lack STRATEGY

urTOOspoiled Big Sis Series

The main thing I’ve noticed about men is that they ALWAYS date with intention and a play.

This is BOTH from good men and the hobosexuals. They know what they’re doing.

INTENTION: an aim or a plan

PLAY: a report on what is happening in a sports game; plan breakdown

Men NEVER “go with the flow”. They either have ill, self centered (using you as a placeholder/booty call) or mutually beneficial intentions (marriage, FWB etc.).

In addition, they NEVER aimlessly find their way towards their goal. They have a goal and they break down the actions behind the accomplishment.

Sometimes it’s your heart. Sometimes it’s your life insurance plan.

It’s time we, as women, buckle up and have our own agendas lined up.

LAW 4

Always Say Less Than Necessary

I love my ladies but we do indeed pillow talk too much to the men we are dating. We tell them our backstories. We tell them how our exes did us dirty and all they do is sit back and take notes for when it’s their turn to do the same.

ITS TIME WE LIE AND LEAVE OUT INFO.

In addition, stop letting men lead the convo because you’re too intimidated to hold the conversation. It’s your job to get him to spill as much info about himself for you to gather a conclusion about your intentions with him.

LAW 9

Win Through Actions, Never Through Argument

Get it through your thick skull that you’ll never win an argument with a man using your words. Definitely not if you raise your voice.

A lot of women message me stating how they keep “telling” their man how to treat them and I sigh & laugh because I remember when I was that ditzy.

Men are indeed like dogs. You’ll get almost nowhere yelling or repeating yourself to a dog whose insisting on not listening to you (i.e. pulling the leash while you call their name.).

You can let the dog pull you and continue to yell…but where does that get you expect IGNORED and IN DISTRESS?

Put your foot down…and out the door. Just for the love of God stop playing dumb for peen.

LAW 17

Keep Others In Suspended Terror: Cultivate An Air of Unpredictability

“Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables. Be deliberately unpredictable.”

It’s one thing to be mysterious but it’s another to add the razzle dazzle of randomness in the mix. You see, you can predict someone being mysterious- being somewhat reserved or private.

Be unpredictable and have a moment where you’re transparent. Everyone shouldn’t have the same (good) impression of you. Some may view you as serious and laid back while others couldn’t imagine you being nothing other than bubbly. Shake shit up.

Closing Thoughts:

Men have created a culture of sharing the secrets of using women to their advantage. They’re not clueless nor uneducated on how to treat you correctly therefore it’s unproductive to attempt to teach them.

They are simply using the strategy their barber, daddy, coach, teammates and Pastor passed along to them since you (most likely) weren’t taught any better. They have a community-a village that molds them, something women do not have in general.

My goal here is to create community while encouraging young women to use LOGIC when it comes to romance. It’s both for safety and spoiled brat purposes.

Do you ever feel like SHIT? Like life is moving so fast, and you’re stuck, tired, or completely drained? cuz same 🙋🏻‍♀️. That’s why I started looking into Japanese and Chinese habits—because I'm searching for slow down type of lifestyle, finding balance, and creating small moments of peace in the dawm chaos. Now, I know some of y’all will say, 'It’s overrated, you’re just obsessed with China or Japan,' but hear me out these habits aren’t about trends—they’re rooted in centuries and they’ve genuinely helped me improve both physically and mentally. If you’re ready to stop just surviving and start thriving, keep reading. These little changes might just change your life too.

Little Habits, Big Glow: Japanese & Chinese Traditions That Changed My Life

First off, warm water in the MORNING. I used to roll out of bed and go straight for coffee or cold ass water cuz my throat is DRYYYY , and honestly, my body hated me for it fr. But then I read about how in Chinese medicine, drinking warm water first thing in the morning is seen as a way to wake up your body gently. And let me tell you, IT WORK. No bloating, no sluggishness—just a simple, calming way to start the day. Sometimes I add a slice of lemon, and it feels like I’m doing something kind for my body before I even check my phone

Two Ikigai.( I talked Abt Ikigai and how to achieve this concept click here!) Japanese concept changed the way I see my day-to-day life. It’s basically finding purpose in the little things—like, not waiting for some huge life-changing moment to feel fulfilled. I used to put so much pressure on myself, thinking I needed to achieve these massive goals to be happy. But Ikigai taught me to slow down and find joy in small things, like enjoying my morning tea or journaling. It’s a game-changer for anyone who feels like they’re always chasing something bigger.

Another thing I’ve started doing is Tai Chi or qing gong. I know I know—it looks slow and kind of boring, but hear me out. It’s like moving meditation, and if you’re someone who struggles with anxiety (like meeey), this will center you like nothing else. It’s not about burning calories or anything like that; it’s about connecting your body and mind in the most peaceful way. Even just 10 minutes a day leaves me feeling lighter and more focused. (Click here to watch a video of it) When I first started, I thought, 'This is way too slow for me.' But then something clicked. The slowness is the point. It forces you to focus on your breathing, your posture, and every little movement. It’s like a moving meditation that clears your mind while strengthening your body.

© bloomzone

I agree 100 percent, they need to pay because all she did was give them exactly what they wanted and it's still not enough. They literally just want to consume her whole and it's getting on my nerves.

jiwon is literally innocent in all of this...

her dad is the only good person in her life and he died

her best friend... has been plotting her downfall from the jump. a true OP... like she was TAKING A NAP ON THE BUS nd sis sat down next to her... stole her wallet and then pretended to find it and come to her rescue.

jiwon needs to hook up with my girl from the glory cus the revenge needs to be even more dramatic. we gotta stop pulling punches. put them hoes in the ground

On Education

I firmly believe that education is the very best and most accessible social leveller. Those who are educated are those who will go far and fast, and, despite our rapidly increasing international access to education, a truly educated perspective remains immensely valued. To my mind, there are two types of education, formal and independent, and both are equally invaluable and utterly necessary in our present day and age.

Many girls here go on a great deal about the value of formal education and they’re absolutely right to do so. Simply holding a degree as a woman earns you an enormous amount of respect amongst certain types and, to speak frankly, it’s rapidly becoming a necessity in our world now to hold a Bachelor’s degree at the very least. I vehemently disagree with those who say that a university degree is unnecessary, rather it’s more necessary than ever these days; a degree from an institution with a good name behind it will open doors you never knew existed, I’m continuously surprised by the power my C.V. holds by itself and the opportunities which have opened up to me because of where I’ve studied. The university experience gives you a holistic skillset and understanding that you’ll never be able to replicate elsewhere in its entirety—you need to be educated and you need to hone those skills in forming your own arguments and opinions, you need to be able to read a great deal within a short space of time and meet strict deadlines, and you need to know how to socialise with a wide variety of people from all walks of life.

With that said, you also need to be able to educate yourself and teach yourself new skills, simply going to university will do nothing for you if you can’t also learn new things in your own time and keep everything in motion. It’s important to be constantly learning about the world around you, making your own observations and drawing your own conclusions, and it’s important that you have knowledge and skills outside of your formal specialisations, too—you must be well-rounded. I think that anyone who is looking to go anywhere needs to have a basic and broad knowledge of history, of science, of current affairs and business, of literature and art; you need to speak foreign languages and understand human psychology, you need to be able to play a few card games and know how to properly discuss sports. You can’t just laugh along nervously when those around you mention, say, Willy Brandt or the Opium Wars, you need to actually have a handle on what’s going on and be able to contribute intelligently in order to be taken seriously by anyone at all.

Self Care Tips for the High Maintenance Woman 🌸

Life is tough…. but don’t let it consume you!

 Hey babes, It’s your girl Chichi! it’s no secret that living in the 21st century is tough. It seems like there are more demands on women than ever before, and the expectations for what a woman should be capable of doing at any given moment seem to increase with each passing day. The result? Stress levels through the roof, not enough time or money to do anything about it, and an emotional rollercoaster that never stops running.

Self-care is important for everyone, but it’s especially crucial for women in the age of self-doubt, social media judgment, and FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out)

The good news is you don’t have to live this way!  Further down in this blog post, we’ll discuss 3 self-care tips for women so you can finally start taking better care of yourself without sacrificing who you are. 💅🏾

So… Chichi what even is self-care?

When you care for yourself, you are taking time to recharge your batteries. Its a form of tapping into your Feminine Energy! You’re self-nurturing, taking care of your body and mind so you can be the best version of yourself. It’s not selfish or a sign that you don’t love others; it’s simply about giving yourself what you need to do all the hard work in life. If you are interested in some other tips; “On how to tap into your Feminine Energy click here!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a few minutes each day for yourself, doing something that makes you feel good inside out, surrounding yourself with self-loving people, or treating yourself to something special every once in a while..

Self care is crucial for us High Maintenance Ladies!

A lack of self-care comes from never feeling like we have enough time, money, or self-love to do the things we need. We don’t prioritize ourselves because of our own self-doubt and lack of self-worth. Keep scrolling down to find out what 3 self care tips I focus most of my attention on!

#01 Prioritize  Sleeping Early

Want to improve your looks, memory, concentration, energy, and productivity? Want to more easily maintain a healthy weight? Want to strengthen your immune system and live happier, healthier, and longer? TRY GETTING AT LEAST 7-8 HOURS OF REST EACH NIGHT!

How you put yourself to bed and what time you turn off the lights makes a huge impact on how productive you’ll be the following morning, as well as our looks, memory, concentration, energy, and maintaining  healthy weight. I find it repulsive that western society stigmatizes sleep. Glorifying those who can push through an all-nighter and dismissing those who prioritize sleep as lazy or unmotivated.

Humans are not like the owls, or cats, or bats that sleep in the day and are awake at night. We are physiologically programmed to do the opposite. This phenomenon has been understood for thousands of years and was recently validated by modern science.

If your like me and used to be a night owl I literally had to train my brain to sleep early as 8-10pm! After a few weeks I fully became used to it and I’ve been doing this for the past year and a half! Here’s how I was able to do it:

 1.Avoid Large Meals Right Before Bedtime. Eat dinner at least 3 hours before sleeping

2.Start prepping yourself for bed in the Early Evening 7-8pm. Keep lights low. Limit exposure to bright light in the evenings. Relax. Worrying about a problem or a long to-do list can be a recipe for insomnia. Well before you turn in, try writing down your worries and make a list of tasks you want to remember. This “worry journal” may help move these distracting thoughts from your mind. Closer to bedtime, try com¬forting rituals that may help lull you to sleep: Listen to soft, calming music, take a warm bath, do some easy stretches or read a book or magazine by soft light.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation right before you head to bed:

“I deserve to sleep 8 hours each night, because I am worth it!”

#02 Stay Active & Keep moving!

We know that staying active is one of the best ways to keep our bodies healthy. But did you know it can also improve your overall well-being and quality of life?

Here are just a few of the ways physical activity can help you feel better, look better and live better. Because, why not?

Regular physical activity can relieve stress, anxiety, depression and anger. You know that “feel good sensation” you get after doing something physical? Think of it as a happy pill with no side effects! Most people notice they feel better over time as physical activity becomes a regular part of their lives.It keeps you physically fit and able.

Without regular activity, your body slowly loses its strength, stamina and ability to function properly. It’s like the old saying: you don’t stop moving from growing old, you grow old from stopping moving. Exercise increases muscle strength, which in turn increases your ability to do other physical activities.

I dedicate an hour a day to practicing either Yoga (for relaxation, raising my vibration, & aligning my chakra’s) & Pilates (for stretching & maintaining my figure) with my little sister.

For those who don’t know what pilates is I’ll give you a quick summary..

Pilates is a challenging low impact exercise method that balances strength with mobility, aligns the body, fine-tunes movement patterns, and strengthens the deeper muscles of the core. It helps strengthen your core, Posture, reduces mensural pain, eliminates stress, boosts flexibility & agility enhances body awareness.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose exercise!

“I deserve keep my body fit, because I am worth it!”

#03 Make a habit of eating healthy

Practicing self-care eating means making thoughtful choices about the foods that you put into your body.  

Being mindful of what your putting inside of your body is important! Think about it you were born with this body only. would you want to feed it things that would be detrimental to your health?

If you think about it..without attending to one’s own bodily, emotional, and mental needs, how can that same person attend to anything or anyone else?

The food that you choose should provide energy and the nutrition that you need to manage your weight and stay healthy for the long-term. That includes protein, vitamins, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and healthy fats.

To practice self-care eating, ask yourself these 6 questions when you are in the grocery store, planning your meals for the week, or sitting down to eat:

Am I eating to fuel my body? Food is energy. If you are choosing food for other reasons, try writing in a food journal to better understand those choices.

Am I including fresh fruits and vegetables? Fruits and vegetables provide important micro-nutrition as well as fibre. Good gut health will lead to a longer life! reduce risk of Colon Cancer.

Am I meeting my hydration goals? 64 oz or 2L of water, each day help you maintain regularity, lubricate joints, avoid headaches, and regulate temperature.

 Am I eating at mealtimes? An eating schedule helps you avoid mindless snacking, impulsive or emotional eating, and helps keep calorie intake in check.

Am I focused on the meal, or distracted by something else? Eat in your eating place. Avoid eating in the car, in front of the TV, or in your relaxing place.

You can practice saying this self-care affirmation when you choose nutritious meals! 

“I deserve to eat this healthy food, because I am worth it!”

In Conclusion…

We all need to care for ourselves for different reasons. Whether you have a family, work full time outside of the home, or are studying to become a professional and it’s hard to balance both responsibilities with self-care.

Self-care is an essential part of living a healthy life. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you may not be able to take care of the people who matter most to you.

Taking time for yourself without feeling guilty, isn’t selfish. It’s essential. It may be difficult at first, but it’s worth the effort if you want to feel healthy and be there for the people you love the most.

If making yourself a priority isn’t coming naturally to you yet, don’t give up—it only gets easier with practice. It takes different forms depending on your needs and personality preferences. One self-care routine could involve taking walks outside or listening to music while another might mean reading a good book by candlelight.

So, find what works best and inspires you and make yourself a priority.

Have any self care tips you’d like to add? let us know in the comments! (chichi xo)

want to see more posts like these? follow @miss-femme-fatale​ for more!

Source: @miss-femme-fatale​

~becoming productive ~

set your goals-

what do you want to achieve?

what are your goals?

look at your life- what can you improve?

look at yourself- how can you improve?

start organizing your life-

look at your goals and establish habits to achieve them

clean your room and environment

delete old apps

remove toxic people

unfollow accounts that make you feel negative

turn off electronics to clear your mind

consistency over intensity-

stick with the habits you’ve decided on

make little changes to your life everyday- something easy, like reading 10 minutes a day

find ways to attain your goals and your new healthy habits

stay motivated-

remember WHY you started

review your goals

surround yourself with positivity- positive quotes, positive people, positive accounts

why not you? your dreams are achievable. they are within reach. if someone out there is in the exact same position you desire to be in, IT IS POSSIBLE. the only reason why you aren’t where you wish to be is your refusal to see and accept the fact that you are more than deserving and capable of achieving your goals. the only person stopping you from doing so is you.

step into your power and stand firm in enforcing stronger self discipline to cultivate a better mindset or you’ll constantly be stuck in the old story wishing for better.

I'm trying not to take it so personal

Amen

Access to me is a privilege. A lost art. A pure pleasure. A wall to climb that leads to the best and most beautiful adventure of your lifetime if you’re willing to make it to the other side.

I'm laughing but ain't shit funny