Latest Posts by snekkinsnerpent - Page 2

Did a study of good ol' Gort

Gonna be drawing wayy more of him for a while, since I'm planning to illustrate the durgetash fic I'm working on!

The other day, I saw a non-fandom text post along the lines of:

“What we had was so special you’ll look for me in every new person” (sorry I haven’t been able to find it again)

And I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Because to me this perfectly describes Durgetash + romancing your companions.

I can’t help thinking about amnesiac Durge missing something, always searching, but can’t remember what.

They find echoes of it in Gale’s intelligence, his enthusiasm and knowledge when he speaks about magic. And yet, it doesn’t fit entirely.

They find it in Lae’zel’s easy superiority, her ruthlessness and determination. And yet, it’s not quite enough.

They find it in Astarion’s deception and easy charm, the way he manipulates a situation to his advantage, the way he doesn’t need magic to have people literally bare their necks to him.

They find it in Shadowheart’s snark, her secrecy, her dark goddess. They find it in Karlach’s rage (though she burns hot instead of cold which is odd..), in the smell of sulphur and hellfire that clings to her. They especially find it in her mechanical heart, that makes them want to reach out, bury their hands in it, just to see if it feels as familiar as it seems. If maybe owning her heart will fill the hole in their memories, their chest even.

And yet, surprisingly, they find it in Wyll’s pact, Wyll’s past, but also Wyll’s manners and they way he dances, his stories, that make them feel closer to a city they don’t much care about otherwise.

They find it in the deep possessiveness, maybe even hatred, when Raphael first comes to camp.

And yet none of it is enough, none of it fits quite right, and while maybe eventually they manage to look past that familiar feeling and find new things to admire about their chosen partner…deep in their heart they know.

In the end, they’ll always look for something none of them can give them.

Not until they first encounter that handsome young man with an easy smile, and all the jagged broken edges click together like horrible little puzzle pieces.

I was working on a prospective timeline of Gortash’s life and I wanted to explore some ideas of what Gortash might look have looked like growing up, inspired by the notes in the biography by Vance Farnol and rock eras/sub-genres; design notes are on Patreon (including free members) detailing specific influences.

comms are open @wolfssketches | tip jar | become a patron

i am once again thinking about gortash seeing himself as a widower after durge goes missing someone pull me out of this idea quicksand

So I have seen a lot of people chuckle over that "younger man" line in relation to Gortash (as if it is not said in direct comparison to Ketheric) and taken it to mean he might have an issue with aging/some midlife crisis going on.

I'm very much not in that boat. He looks his age. He is one of few characters who does. (Not a lot of straight humans ingame tho, so.)

If you look at the man's history, youth has literally never done him any favors. Being younger has meant being weaker, having less information, and having to rely more on other people -- and often people who shouldn't be in charge of anyone.

To me, that's gonna be someone who has no problem with aging. In fact, he probably likes the way he looks now more than at any other point he has been alive. He's at the point he thinks he has always wanted to be.

To quote a friend: "Enver Gortash has exactly one midlife crisis and its name is Orin."

Thinking once again about Durgetash and the concept of servitude.

About how Durge was made for servitude. Their whole purpose was to do Bhaal‘s will, to let Bhaal act through them, to worship in total obedience. And they *did* for a long time. For them, servitude was (un)holy, it was admirable because it meant serving a greater purpose (bringing upon the end of all things).

And how Gortash on the other hand spent his entire life fighting against authority so he won’t have to serve *anyone*. First his parents, then the house of Hope, then the city… climbing literally out of hell and up those climbing social ladders until the only one he serves is the one who helps him to the top. And only as long as it fits him- considering he was fully willing to share his throne with Durge, something that - as many have pointed out - is very much against Bane’s whole thing and could be considered disobedience once again.

And I’m thinking again about how Gortash calls Durge *his* assassin in the same conversation he calls him his *equal* and…

There’s something beautiful about the thought of Durge, who was born to serve One, straying from that to instead rule with another - a blade who chooses their own wielder - and Gortash, who refused to serve and instead fought his way to the top, who saw himself as above all others, at the height of his power stepping aside to lift someone to his same level.

I can’t help but look at them, look at all their narrative foils and dichotomies and similarities, and think that there was never any other choice but each other, in whatever capacity people headcanon.

There really is no one who does it like them.

"Blorbo from my shows" this, "blorbo from my videogames" that. What about "blorbo from my DnD game" that only three other people know. Do you ever think about that-

With the way Gortash talks about Durge's Urges (lol) It feels like to me that the characterisation of Durge pre-tadpole being this wholly rabid, acting on impulses constantly, creature rings a little...innacurate.

Gortash is a control freak. This is typical of a Baneite of course (and being raised by Raphael) Having complete control is really important in Gortash's eyes as it's not only his means of garnering power but keeping himself safe. It's also something he clearly respects in Durge. Their ability to control their urges.

Compared to Orin, pre-tadpoled Durge seems to have their shit together. Even the way Durge seems to talk, feels a lot more...straightforward than Orin's language. She speaks like a bloody Malkavian (and I love it) whereas Durge in their codexes and dialogue, speak less in metaphors, less like a child too, even if they still do bear that eccentric tone.

I think this can also be related to the way Durge and Orin were raised. Orin was sired by an abusive, incestuous relationship wherein she was then abused. A delayed...adulthood is quite common in those scenarios. Meanwhile, Durge HAD parents. Adoptive parents of course that they killed if my memory of canon is right. So they had a much more stable upbringing relatively. Accounting for Durge's maturity.

And Gortash has to bind Orin's blade when she takes over as Bhaal's Chosen. Gortash doesn't ever see Orin as an equal, and compares her to a literal dog, because she is so impulsive whereas with Durge. It seems he never saw a need to bind them. They were equals and the levl of control they had over their urges impressed him.

I actually think Durge's inability to properly control themselves after the tadpole is Bhaal punishing them for letting Orin get the drop on them. For falling from glory. Sceleritas comes along to guide Durge to prove themselves to Bhaal..it just feels like a punishment.

Anyway, maybe this is all obvious idk. And I'm not telling anyone how they should write their Dark Urges. Or even say that I think Durge NEVER had an impulse or two go unregulated (something Sceleritas also says) because Bhaalspawn ARE violent. Just that pre-tadpoled Durge probably was far more in control than we give credit for. It also makes their cruelty during their time as leader of the Bhaalists extra evil because...they chose to. It's wasn't compulsed by Bhaal all the time

God, I can't believe you have to give up two major quests to side with Gortash & all you get out of it is like 5 extra minutes of positive Durgetash interaction & it's still 1000% worth it.

It's hilarious to me too, the way he tells it at the morphic pool, he does not actually think the two of them will succeed at subjugating the elder brain. Like he goes into that interaction expecting to lose but also just does not seem sad about it at all. I think maybe he always expected they would go out in a blaze of glory because they always had such a massive "high risk high reward" mentality, so they were always just doing what they could on the off-chance they actually happened to win. They're completely insane. Let's finish this like we started it.

I think a really interesting angle to look at Gortash's and Durge's relationship from, is the twisted sense of...safety Gortash got from it.

Safety? Around the Dark Urge? You must be mad Tumblr user Felassanis! Well give me a second.

It's about the same type of safety you might get from a really violent dog that trusts only you. Who snaps and is willing to bite anyone except the one holding it's leash. This is great for maybe going on walks if you're terrified of being attacked. A good dog to have in a house in case of burglary or whatever...

And Gortash has never really known much safety. He wasn't safe from the abuse of his parents, the abuse and danger of being raised by Raphael and his staff. He's not even really safe from Bane, his own God, who Gortash MUST know that if he fails him Bane is gonna make him suffer big time. Then, he was in a very dangerous line of work being an arms dealer in the Underworld prior to becoming a lord, surrounded by crime syndicates out to stop him from rising the ranks.

The guy literally has anti-anxiety armour. He, to his core, is pretty much still that terrified little boy Raphael had in the Hells, the little boy cowering from his vile parents.

Then he meets The Dark Urge. The child of the God of Murder Bhaal. The progeny of one of the most darkest and most violent assassins to ever walk the world. An Assassin themselves. And they enter a deal together, one out of neccessity to achieve their ends of course. But wherever Gortash points...Durge will go and kill.

That's perhaps not the strongest basis for a relationship. But then, Gortash and Durge start...admiring one another. Deeply. And this is where I steer into head-canon territory...but imagine having a Bhaalspawn as deadly and as effective as Durge essentially almost at your beck and call. But more than that, they are your partner. Dare I say, Durge potentially becomes Gortash's own assassin?

If someone were to try and take Gortash out. Durge would stop them. And it would be for more than just to safeguard their alliance so they can dominate the world. It's also because Durge likes Gortash. They don't want him dead, the bond has gone much deeper now.

Gortash has always had to save himself. Look out for himself. Until he finds an equal and a partner in The Dark Urge. And there is so much you can chew on with that.

That's an incredibly powerful thing to have. The admiration of a Bhaalspawn like Durge. A cruel, violent thing that he has the confidence of. A murderous creature who stays their hand around him, but will snap at whichever target he points at. That must be such a safety net for Gortash, and it's not just one he's bought out, or dominated, or tricked into serving him whatever. This safety net comes from somewhere genuine that he has EARNED because he's gained Durge's admiration.

To Gortash, being the fucking exception to a creature of murder must be such a privilege. And it gets him a kind of safety he's never known from another person. Ad yeah, he definitely saw the benefit of having this from a detached standpoint - ooh look at me, Durge won't kill me and that pissess off literally everyone and I can use this to my advantage. But I reckon Gortash, who also respects Durge, is honoured by it. Affected by it. Cherishes it.

Going into MAJOR head-canon/fanfic territory. It's even intriguing to think about this mostly violent person being vulnerable and softer around Gortash. (Like the mornings waking up together hehe) Seeing these humanising moments that, arguably the Chosen of Bane shouldn't be privvy to as no doubt Bhaal is fucking seething. But he sees it anyway, and is likely the only person ever to see them like this. His own little reign of tyranny over them as he sees sides to them never shown before. But it's a two-way street - Gortash when he reunites with the Dark Urge, is very visibly on display very happy to see them. He's not able to contain it much because...he thought they were dead. His favourite assassin, and here they are alive and well and things can go back to the way they were and he's elated at that idea.

Lastly, I have to rain on the parade just a bit with some canon. Yes, there is a sense of privelege to being the only one a violent dog won't attack. But how permanent is that relationship? A really violent dog in reality, is only a few triggers away from turning on you. Biting you. And in Durge's case, yes they maybe don't want to kill Gortash. But that isn't how it was ever going to end between them. Funnily enough, Gortash's safety around Durge was only ever temporary. Gortash was always going to die one way or another and it's extra tragic if the one person he ever found some safety in is the one to turn the knife on him. Even more so, because it was originally destined to be this way had they dominated the world. Gortash was both safe and never safe from The Dark Urge.

I really love the idea of The Dark Urge, who's on the road to redemption, actually being pushed into an Alliance with Gortash when they reunite in Act 3 affer the way their companions react to the reveal.

Because EVERYONE (barring Astarion cause hes understandably grateful actually lol, but he still calls u evil) is fucking appalled by the reveal. Karlach outright doesn't even want to look at you, which is MORE than understandable given how one of the closest people to her is getting the heart eyes from Gortash. Gale doesn't want to speak to you, Jaheira is starting to doubt and is horrified because you're not just a Bhaalspawn. But THE Bhaalspawn.

And think about it from Durge's perspective. Through dialogue choices there's option for Durge to come across as...slightly hopeless. They condemn themselves in a very self deprecating manner in some dialogue. But the one thing that makes them want to do better, is to do right by the people around them. To be a better person for them.

But here, their friends are condemning them. Yelling at Durge for being the mastermind, and as someone said in a GREAT post I'll need to track down, All this alienates Durge from their party, potentially reinstating Durge's self-hatred that they're beyond hope, and suddenly...Gortash is the only friendly face in the room.

Regardless if it's intentional on Gortash's part to alienate Durge. Here is this man who knows you, showers you in compliments but it's not...fake. not in the way you would expect from the sleazy man. He is genuinely HAPPY to see you. The first person...ever, to be genuinely happy to see you. (Because you're awful and no one is ever happy to see you rock up) AND he's got all the answers to your past.

Meanwhile behind you. Everyone is seeing you for the monster you've been telling them you are. The monster you FEAR you are.

You suddenly feel alone amongst faces you call friends. They look at you and are repulsed. And yes, of course they are. You're the Dark Urge. Murder incarnate. Why wouldn't they? And with how harsh some companions can be in this scene (again understandably) I can see a real argument for Durge losing all motivation to redeem themselves potentially. They were doing it for their friends and now their friends hate them.

But Gortash? Gortash knows Durge for the monster they are and yet they greet them like an old friend. They ARE old friends. Gortash knows the worst of Durge and yet he can't seem to wipe that smile off his face talking to them.

Maybe this is where Durge was always supposed to wind up.

gortash people are meaner to gort than his haters like gort haters will just be like "he's evil, egotistical, ugly, and annoying," meanwhile gortfuckers are like "he's the most pathetic terrible man on earth who will never be cool no matter how hard he tries. he looks like he eats nothing but microwave lasagna, adderall and cigarettes. my wife.