Friend: "What's Your Favorite Food?" Me: "Synthetic Neurotransmitters." Friend: "What?" Me: "What?"

Making a robot voice with the fan you're using to cool your underboob.

Because physical maturation doesn't have to mean killing your inner-kid.

"People used to be hobbled for leaving their slaver's plantation. That was REAL racism. Things are not as bad as they used to be, so let's stop making a ruckus over nothing with this segregation thing." -Martin Luther King Jr.

Just because people don't like a thing doesn't mean they're snobs who are shaming others for liking the thing. Let people not like things.

When they say "make love, not war," but your cock ring is stretchy enough to shoot at your partner like a rubber band.

The character development for Steve in Season Two was like anti-nausea meds for the vomit-inducing teen soap that was Nancy's love life in Season One.

Bilbo: wait I get it now. The dragon is a metaphor for greed and power. We need to ‘defeat’ it by being humble when we get the treasure.

Thorin: Bilbo, for the last time, it’s a real dragon and it has my gold

Is there a word for "suspicious yet thorough enjoyment of compliments which causes intense self-consciousness?" There needs to be.

People who go to prison are bad guys? Untrustworthy? Inferior? Uncle Iroh went to prison. What are you trying to say about Uncle Iroh?

One does not simply burn toast without calling the toaster a dick.