Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

“Someone you haven’t even met yet is wondering what it’d be like to know someone like you.”

— Iain Thomas

“What do you do in your free time!”

”oh uh-“

(Not mine just found it)

KDJ: I like murder mysteries

YJH, trying to impress him: I've been the prime suspect in four homicide investigations

Based on this post

𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙀𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥…

Ref from this one below… Sorry, but I have to do it-

Keep reading

Humans finally broke physics by travelling faster than light in an experimental spaceship. 8 alien civilizations visited earth to issue a speeding ticket and 3 more sent strongly worded letters about safety in their school zones.

“I will avenge my brother’s death!” yelled the adventurer. “You have my bow” his archer companion said. “And my axe” said the warrior. “And your brother” said the Necromancer.

Mother Earth: And to you, Human, I shall give you great Endurance and a thick skin, remarkable mimicry and visual tracking skills, strong inner bones which heal back even stronger when broken, an omnivorous diet with acute palates and resistance to most poisons, a pack organization, skin-stealing skills and the ability to throw things with ease and accuracy using your upper limbs, so you shall reign the hot savannahs and deserts as the greatest pursuit predator ever. Also as primates you shall not be bound to mating seasons and with your strong self-healing instincts and great adaptability, you shall rise and be numerous as ever.

Human: Mkay but what's that nice little red fruit outta there

Mother Earth: ... That's a pepper. Do not eat it, as it contains capsaicin, and you're still a mammal. This is a fruit for the birds.

Human: But it look tasty

Mother Earth: I mean, unless you want to be curling yourself down on utter pain, you should not...

Human: *already biting it* tast y

Mother Earth: HUMAN PLEASE STOP--

Human: *already crying, curling themself up down and shedding tears of pain*

Mother Earth: I told you. Stay away from that fruit

Human: *takes another bite despite the pain*

Mother Earth: What the everloving Big Bang, HUMAN PLEASE STOP IT'S TO YOUR OWN GOOD

Human: *crying* T A S T YYYY

Mother Earth: *concerned motherworld noises*

hmmm