Humans Finally Broke Physics By Travelling Faster Than Light In An Experimental Spaceship. 8 Alien Civilizations

You’re a hitman whose “hits” survive your assassination attempts, despite your sincere best efforts, only to die soon after each attempt by comical forces outside your control. The hitman community can’t be convinced you’re not the most creative comically effective assassin alive.

Tony: *goes into peters room*

Peter: *closes laptop*

Tony: guess it’s just you and me tonight

Peter: okay, I’ll be down soon

Tony: *leaves and barges back in* whAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME

Peter: pORN

Tony: DONT LIE TO ME

Peter: fine I’m trying to send a message to this girl

Natasha: *loses Clint in a crowd*

Natasha: this calls for drastic measures

Natasha: *shouts* HAWKEYE IS THE MOST USELESS AVENGER

Natasha:

Natasha: shit I forgot he’s deaf

You’re immortal and have passed the ‘hero’ phase centuries ago. You enter a small corner shop one day to find it is owned by your millennia-old arch-nemesis. You really, really need milk though.