Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

You feel the emotions of anyone you touch. You accidentally brush hands with the barista when they hand you your coffee. You’re the most scared you’ve ever been in your entire life.

Shuri: *can’t find Peter in the soul realm*

Shuri: *inhales*

Shuri: ROAD WORK AHEAD

2849647 teenagers who got dusted in the snap: UH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

Shuri: 

Shuri: oh no

You’re the first person to be sent to Mars. When you land you decide to take out your phone and take some photos so you can send them to your friends later. After a few minutes you get a notification: “NEW BLUETOOTH DEVICE "HELP ME” DETECTED - WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONNECT?“

If you’re not amazed by the stars on a clear night then we won’t work.

gay_irl

The Caledonians expanded through the galaxy thanks to their logic and discipline, always following the plan, always following the rules. So when the fleet was about to be destroyed the Caledonian Admiral did what the book said: bring a human to the war room and let it make the decisions.

𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙀𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥…

Ref from this one below… Sorry, but I have to do it-

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Humans are... confusing

Human expressions confuse me a lot of the time so I can’t imagine what it would be like for an alien

Human: *drops something* oh fuck me! Alien: *blushes* Um I… umm… Human: Oh no no! Sorry! That’s just an expression we say! I don’t want you to actually… ya know *laughs* Alien: *smiles* Phew! I thought you actually wanted me to engage in sexual activities with you which worried me as I find the fleshy and hairless human form to be really quite repulsive. My mistake! Human: …cheers

In 2153, humans escaped from their ruined planet with the help of an AI-controlled fleet whose goal was to find humans a safe place for them to live and put themselves in cryo-sleep. When humans woke from their sleep they found a variety of messages begging humans to stop their mechanical god