★ Pot ★ - Original Post

Space Orcs and Boredom

I'd think that humans are one of the most prone to boredom out of all the space-faring species. It's deeply engrained in our modern culture that time should be spent doing something. Often times, especially due to consumerism, we will waste it on empty, pointless things.

However, due to creativity and an impressive set of dexterity skills, it can get pretty interesting.

Imagine your human crewmates holding a competition to see who can climb around a table the fastest. A table. Now imagine it's just one of them. Who figured it out themselves. And then uploaded it to the human internet.

Just. Everything. Everything about this video proves my point. We're chaos boredom creatures.

I like the idea that humans are space orcs because of being walking trashbins which are a flaming wreckage of bodge jobs all the way down. Ships are floating clouds of debris under constant repair or... improvement. Space suits are held together with duct tape. We are literally covered in swarms of bacteria which are 50/50 on purpose or debilitating illness, not to mention filled up in side with the same.

Humans get sick or hurt and most aliens are just like "not sure if this is an infection, or if you'll die without it." The last time anyone tried to repair a human operated ship, the resulting explosion blasted a nearby moon through a wormhole into orbit around a different planet.

Even human genetics is a total trashpile, junk genes, weird extra DNA that no one knows what it does, former viruses, you name it, somewhere down the line humans just vacuumed up everything into the go-juice and stacked it up like a genetic hoarder. The study of human biology is half occult science half transmutation until one guy starts breaking it down and discovers chunks of hundreds of other alien genetics and basically it turns out Earth was a kind of "makeout point" back in the days of primordial ooze and was filled so full of outer space ejaculate that under a modern day equivalent of black light it still glows brighter than the sun.

The Caledonians expanded through the galaxy thanks to their logic and discipline, always following the plan, always following the rules. So when the fleet was about to be destroyed the Caledonian Admiral did what the book said: bring a human to the war room and let it make the decisions.

Saturn and Neptune by Voyager II

slides nasa $10 so, tell me about the aliens