Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

A computer programmer goes to buy some bread.

On his way out, his wife says, “and while you’re there, get a carton of eggs”.

He never returned.

Y/N: Here's a fun idea: we hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing the person we're caught underneath with, we have to FIGHT them.

Steve: No doll, we're not doing that.

Bucky, nodding: Mistlefoe.

Steve: Buck, DON'T encourage her-

Space Australia

This trend has probably died out, but screw it I’m gonna make this. It’s been well established that Humans could probably have a lot of weird adaptations that Aliens just... don’t have. The aliens get weirded out by humans a lot, especially when it comes to sneezing.

Human: *sneezes*

Alien: WHAT IN THE NAME OF LORELIAK WAS THAT?

Human: oh, just my allergies

Alien: What are... Alla-gees?

Human: oh, they’re just *VIOLENT SNEEZE* when your body thinks that something—like this dust— is a virus and tries to get rid of it. Humans sneeze all the time.

Alien: dust can make humans sick!

Human: ah, AH, *makes a stupid face*

Alien: AGHAJSKDLDKS

Human: nope. Not gonna sneeze.

——

Alien: Then, we’ll—

Human A:*tiny, delicate, high-pitched “ah-choo”

Other humans: *giggle at the sound*

Human A: *tiny sneeze*

Alien: um... A? Why are you making that sound?

Human B: omg their sneeze is so cute.

Alien: bodily protection against illness is... cute???

—

Human A sitting at a table with her dad: Alien, meet my dad

Alien: nice to meet you, conceiver of human A

Human A’s Dad: *sneezes so hard he hits his head on the table*

Alien: ... What?

Source:

https://href.li/?https://mobile.twitter.com/betty100100/status/1268879669417238528

Humans Are Weird - Musical Memes

“Attention everyone, this is Captain Xy’lar speaking. I have a very important message from the Earth president for all human crew members which I will now play.”

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna…

The whole (human) crew erupted into loud groans, a few started singing along but most people looked annoyed.

The non-human crew did not understand the significance of this song and why the Earth President felt the need to send this message.

Three months ago I pitched an idea for a party game. Today, ‘WHAT THE PLOT?!™’ is a real game and available for pre-order! I am so excited. Thank you everyone for your support!

Me straight after a mental breakdown suddenly getting an idea for an edit