Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

“Someone you haven’t even met yet is wondering what it’d be like to know someone like you.”

— Iain Thomas

“I will avenge my brother’s death!” yelled the adventurer. “You have my bow” his archer companion said. “And my axe” said the warrior. “And your brother” said the Necromancer.

guess what number im thinking of

Mother Earth: And to you, Human, I shall give you great Endurance and a thick skin, remarkable mimicry and visual tracking skills, strong inner bones which heal back even stronger when broken, an omnivorous diet with acute palates and resistance to most poisons, a pack organization, skin-stealing skills and the ability to throw things with ease and accuracy using your upper limbs, so you shall reign the hot savannahs and deserts as the greatest pursuit predator ever. Also as primates you shall not be bound to mating seasons and with your strong self-healing instincts and great adaptability, you shall rise and be numerous as ever.

Human: Mkay but what's that nice little red fruit outta there

Mother Earth: ... That's a pepper. Do not eat it, as it contains capsaicin, and you're still a mammal. This is a fruit for the birds.

Human: But it look tasty

Mother Earth: I mean, unless you want to be curling yourself down on utter pain, you should not...

Human: *already biting it* tast y

Mother Earth: HUMAN PLEASE STOP--

Human: *already crying, curling themself up down and shedding tears of pain*

Mother Earth: I told you. Stay away from that fruit

Human: *takes another bite despite the pain*

Mother Earth: What the everloving Big Bang, HUMAN PLEASE STOP IT'S TO YOUR OWN GOOD

Human: *crying* T A S T YYYY

Mother Earth: *concerned motherworld noises*

Just going home...

Humans Are Weird - Musical Memes

“Attention everyone, this is Captain Xy’lar speaking. I have a very important message from the Earth president for all human crew members which I will now play.”

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna…

The whole (human) crew erupted into loud groans, a few started singing along but most people looked annoyed.

The non-human crew did not understand the significance of this song and why the Earth President felt the need to send this message.

When your space boyfriend is right and you’re mad about it

Expressive Snake Portraits by Ben Simon Rehn Capture Serpentine Elegance in Brilliant Hues

kim dokja: *intense blushing* y-yoo joonghyuk! go on a d-date with me!

yoo joonhyuk: *also, intense blushing* a-alright.

han sooyoung: you two are literally fucking married to each other.