Sorry If This Comes Of As Rude, But Do You Ever Feel Like There's A Lot Of Hatred For Romance Favorable

Sorry if this comes of as rude, but do you ever feel like there's a lot of hatred for romance favorable people in the aro community? I'm both arospec and acespec and sometimes feel like I'm faking being aro because I'm romo favorable. Ace spaces have a lot more positivity for sex favorable acespecs, but aro spaces kinda feel super hostile to romo favorable arospecs. As if me liking romance is disgusting and a betrayal to most aros. Idk it just doesn't feel right when people who are fully aro attack the ace community for being "sex-negative" (which is untrue and acespecs exist) and then turn around and shit on arospecs for liking romance. People preach a lot about how 'aromantic' is a spectrum, but sometimes it feels like romo-repulsed fully aromantics are the only valid kind of aros and us romo favorable aro-specs are frauds. That kind of sentiment is exactly what kept me from identifying as arospec, it was the ace community that made me feel like i can be a valid aspec even if I'm favorable. I kinda really want the aro community to get rid of the weird bias against aces and even more than that I want the aro community to genuinely accept aro-spec people. It's literally helping no one and isolating fellow aspecs. (Sorry if this is offensive to non-ace aros as I'm acespec as well as arospec. That's genuinely not my intention. I'm just venting my frustrations as a fellow aromantic person)

Hello anon, thanks for confiding in me :)

I'm a romance-indifferent alloaro myself, so to be honest I'm not sure if I'm the best person to vent to? However I can speak to you as someone who used to ID as aroace, and has been in aro, as well as ace spaces respectively for a while now.

I personally haven't come across any aros showing blatant animosity towards those who are romance favorable? Once again, I'll admit my personal attitude toward romance might make me a bit blind to noticing such interactions.

So I wouldn't use the word hatred. Inattentiveness? 100%.

By no means do I want to one-up you, or invalidate your experience, because I do get where you're coming from. The ace community as a whole isn't sex-negative though, but I think I'd be lying if I said sex-negative rhetoric isn't very rampant in ace spaces. You'd be surprised, aces saying "sex is gross, why would allos even engage in something that disgusting" and anything along those lines are very easy to find, sadly. But I digress.

I definitely wish romance-favorable aros, but especially arospecs (greyro's, demi's, cupioro's, etc.) who experience romantic attraction, had more space to talk about their relationship with romance and the like, without you guys feeling like you're "breaking the aro code" or "betraying the aro community."

There's no right way to be aro; we're a spectrum, with an array of experiences shared among us. I hate the fact that those differences have to be points of conflict.

I'm sorry to you, other romance-favorable aros and arospecs who feel like, or have been told that they're not aro enough because of their personal relationship with romance and/or romantic attraction. No one should shun you for it, and anyone who does straight up doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about, and need a time-out; that shit isn't helping anyone.

I hope I got my point across? I wasn't as attentive of issues like these as I should've been, but I'll try to be more conscious going forward, so thank you.

-Y.