Reblog To Give The Person You Reblogged It From A Little Heart Lollipop

hey chimney nation how we feeling

Imagine you work at some fucking roadside diner in buttfuck nowhere and you have to wait a table with three dudes who aren't from around here and the guy with the long hair immediately pulls out his laptop with what looks like cult shit in the web browser and asks for your worst salad option, and the guy in the trenchcoat sniffs the pepper shaker and declares the molecules to be very sharp and the guy with the greenest eyes you've ever seen calls you sweetheart and then proceeds to engage with intimate eye contact with trenchcoat to a degree that is downright indecent and then orders the heart attack special on your menu and every time you walk past their table they're talking about that gruesome murder that happened in town and the pretty guy is feeding the trenchcoat guy fries while the hair guy talks about desecrating corpses

CHRIS: My mom died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my dad I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see he’s moving on, my mom’s death hit him pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement. CHRIS, watching BUCK + EDDIE: Update, he got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

say yes to heaven (it's him he's the heaven)

My Valentine Cards

the Ghosts all gathering around to watch Mike die in the house (he's very old, it's cool) excited to maybe finally get to talk to him but once he's dead he just kinda looks around at them like 'oohhh... okay!!' and immediately moves on. fully satisfied with his life.

what if you were BISEXUAL and your credit score was ASS and your first boyfriend BROKE UP WITTH YOU and your seven year situationship MOVES TO TEXAS and you’re down so horrifically bad that you MOVE INTO HIS HOUSE and your sister is KIDNAPPED and you don’t even get to keep the DOG

stop earning advanced degrees i need you to finish your fanfiction

and when eddie comes back and buck starts making noise about finding a new place to live and he wonders if ravi has any places available meanwhile blissfully unaware ravi is just living his life until eddie diaz fresh out of texas chainsaw massacre house corners him in the station and tells him he's not to offer buck an apartment under any circumstances

cupholders in the car is such a swag feature that nobody talks about. cars can usually hold upwards of four drinks