Jim: Hey Bruce, I'm Here To Pick Up Barbara.

I present to you: Hal Jordan’s bald head, ready for slapping

REBLOG TO SLAP HIS BALD HEAD

when you are forced to listen to your classmate at lunch read their 300k word batman smut fanfic and know you have to go home and look ur dad in the eye

Ok ok ok: So when Cass first came to the family their where some problems, like when before going to a gala or anything Cass struggled to make herself presentable she was new to do this and it was stressful, yeah Alfred could help with the dresses and sometimes Barbara could come by but not often. Bruce noticed this and decided to do something, he talked to Diana, to Dinah, to Mari McCabe, to anyone who could help and learned how to do Cass’s make-up and hair. At first it was kinda awkward as Bruce is not a professional stylist and it was weird for Cass to have her dad do her hair, but with time they got used to it. After a couple times it became almost routine not just for Gala’s and fancy events but just for whenever, Bruce sitting on a chair in the bathroom as Cass sits on a little stool, Bruce with bobby pins in his mouth and scrunchies around his wrist, he is actually pretty good at it and sometimes people even asked Cass who did her hair and she never knows what to say. Its not commonly known but its also not a well kept secret, Hal didn’t believe it when Barry told him until Bruce confirmed it. At this point its a tradition and Cass and Bruce almost feel weird when they go to a gala without doing it.

This.

Suicide prevention week

Look, not my normal post but this is important.

This month I lost someone I used to work with from suicide, and a friend of mines almost succeeded. 5 years ago my then best friend almost succeeded as well

You may think you don’t matter, you may think people will be happy without you but you’re wrong. I understand some people are in abusive situations where they are told they aren’t important, that they don’t matter. They’re lying to you. They may not care but other people you pass by, that person you have small talk with, someone cares

I have been there, I know how helpless you can feel, I understand. But I also know what it’s like to be on the other side, to see someone you care about come out of that. To know that they’re gone/you almost lost them to something you swear you could have stopped

If you are struggling I beg you to reach out, I am begging you. Please please please reach out. I know it’s hard, I know it’s scary, but you have to fight for yourself. Being alive is worth it please. Even if you have to find “stupid” things to keep going. I used my pets to push me through, that helped me personally to have someone to anchor myself to

If it is keeping you alive then it is not stupid

I know I’m rambling and no I’m not editing this. Please stay alive. Please

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

https://www.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines

https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

actually so much funnier to imagine harley quinn thinking of rpatz bruce wayne when she named bruce the hyena “after that hunky wayne guy” than any other iteration

Any of the batkids: I'm-

Dad!Bruce: Hungry? Tired? Thirsty? Scared? whaT ARE YOU

Headcanon that Dami will speak Arabic when he’s really pissed off,

he thought Bruce could’t understand (but actually Bruce does).

and Happy Children’s Day : )

honestly bruce wayne putting on those black sunglasses while being inside his gothic manor was peak cinema

OKAY SO I FOUND OUT BRUCE DOES THIS SHIT ⬇️ THANKS TO THIS POST

And you cannot convince me he doesn't use it to protect his birds when they're in danger. Something's been tossed at one of his kids? He tackles them and cocoons them up with him for safety without hesitation. You could almost call it a panic response, if you could get him to admit that he panics.

Their reactions:

Dick: "I've been doing this nearly as long as you have, remember? I could have dodged that, but I appreciate it." Or "If you wanted a hug, dad, you just had to ask."

Cass: if she's in a good mood she's okay with it. A bad mood and he gets glared at and pinched because she can handle this dad, come on.

Jason: always starts cursing and wiggling around trying to get free before begrudgingly settling down and just accepting it. Never minds it as much as he says he does. Bruce would hug you more often if you weren't allergic to admitting you want him to you silly boy (he gets cocooned a lot so Bruce can hug him anyway).

"Are you alright, son?"

"god DAMN it old man!! Let me go!!!"

"I can't yet until I know you won't be in immediate danger."

"ARRRGHHH"

"Jaylad, I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I don't need you to--!"

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."

"..........." Sigh. Cue a little more wiggling and an intentional elbow to B's ribs as Jay gets comfortable. His siblings are gonna tease him mercilessly later, he just knows it.

Steph: spends the time roasting him into oblivion and annoying him in the hopes he'll stop doing it; has yet to learn that he does, in fact, value her safety and well-being over his pride. Shocking, I know.

Tim: grew up pretty touch starved so while he finds it annoying, he also doesn't complain beyond a bit of half hearted grumbling because by god he needs the hugs.

"was this really necessary?"

"yes"

"🙄"

"How did you--"

Duke: What is this??? What is happening??? Why's it dark??? Straight up blinds Bruce in surprise every time which just leads to him being cocooned longer because now Bruce has to recover before he can tell if it's safe.

"Son, your powers are incredible and we're very proud of you but please don't use them on me"

"Sorry B, my bad."

"I'll admit that's a useful startle response though."

"Right?? Some asshole at school tried to sneak up behind me as a joke and had to go to the nurse and I didn't even touch him."

"Hn."

"Uh, I mean, I don't use my powers at school at all. Ever."

Damian: gets cocoon tackled the most because baby. That's his baby, people are throwing things AT HIS BABY--! Fucking HATES it. Will straight up start gnawing on Bruce's arm if cocooned too long.

"FATHER RELEASE ME AT ONCE"

"Not until it's safe"

"I WAS TRAINED BY--"

"I don't care."

A sulking puppy for a little while that will never admit to enjoying the affection, but still, only for so long. There is a quota and once it's reached, It's like Bruce has trapped himself with a rabid raccoon.

Why are his children like this.