Bruce: *stumbles*

by dan more & tamra bonvillain

Dick Grayson, age 10, self proclaimed master gymnast, but he’s more well known as Robin, Batman’s first sidekick. Right now he had managed to get ahold of his father’s cowl and cape. It was far too big for him of course, but that didn’t stop him messily putting it on. Speaking in the most deep and gravely voice the small boy could muster he said to himself, “I’m the night.”

He giggled, until he felt a tap to his shoulder. He turned around and saw the Batman himself giving him an unamused look.

“I am the night. You however-” he lightly tapped his forehead “-are my star.”

There is nothing funnier to me than Bruce deciding to go to a circus to have fun for once in his miserable brooding life only to relive his childhood trauma and adopt a child

young bruce wayne has the same energy as natasha romanoff but especially when she makes pop culture references in her jokes and then awkwardly explains it bc he does that with gen-z and the justice league

"came back wrong" this "lived wrong" that, what about dying wrong. my death will forever cling to you, leaving behind a slimy trail and a metallic taste in your mouth. my soul will forever drag you down like the heavy corpse of a long-dead god, who somehow still grants wishes. you can't tell which one of us is the one not letting go. you know not even your own death will end this.

Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo

Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*

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Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper

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Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*

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Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.

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Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???

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Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.

Oh my fucking God there's a batfsm comic on webtoon and I wanna cry 😭😫

ITS SO GOODD

Wind down #TheBatman doodles. Some Robert Pattinson studies and silly batcat shenanigans 🦇 🐈‍⬛ stylizing humans is hard 😭

Alfred, dying (but this will NEVER happen cuz Alfred is invincible): Goodbye... I love you all...

Dick, crying: Alfred!! No! You can't die!!

Damien: Yes Alfred! We can't survive!!

Alfred, weakly: You'll be alright...

Jason: We really won't be

Alfred: Master Bruce will take care of you.

Bruce: I really can't

Tim: Yeah, remember that one time where Bruce was making cereal.

Alfred: What's wrong with that?

Dick: ...he burnt the whole kitchen...

Bruce: Ok! That was one time!

Jason: But what about the time where you burnt the toast? Or when you forgot to cook?

Bruce: ...

Alfred: ...

Alfred: Alright you guys won't survive.