Staar-fire - Bat Wayne 🦇

listen listen listen i GET the humor and the delight of bruce being awkward mumble autism dad to baby Dick Grayson but also after that first week or so? the magic thing about having kids as an autistic parent is that sometimes they sort of just. rewire your boundaries and become exceptions. like sensory overload? still happens. but the kid can crawl all over me some days even if i don't want anyone else to touch me. my socially avoidant, quiet in public autistic husband? he is LOUD with our kids. they have their own entire culture of in-jokes and puns.

so what i'm saying is, i love mumblecore autism bruce. i do. but i also think the galaxy brain take is when Dick Grayson slips in as his exception. the person who doesn't exactly count as "socializing," that he has jokes with and talks to sometimes for hours (mixed with those long silences), and spends a lot of time carrying around on his back when Dick is clingy. it doesn't need to completely change him or how he acts in public, but he can also be comfortable enough to have fun with Dick Grayson, quiet or loud.

diana totally moms out on teen bruce every chance she gets and whenever he does something especially risky during a fight she spends at least three hours fussing over him and lecturing him

The batkids are so interesting because like Jason's a daddy's boy, Cass is a daddy's girl, Damian’s a daddy's boy, Dick likes Selina more, Duke would rather have his actual parents back but Bruce is nice and he's very very thankful, Babs loves her dad thank you very much, and Steph is reluctantly and unwillingly a daddy's girl.

But Tim? Tim's an older brother's boy. Don't get him wrong, he loves Bruce! He wishes him only the best, really. But Bruce could quite literally be having a mental breakdown and Tim would fix it, because that's what he does, he fixes Bruce’s problems, but it's not personal, it's business.

But with Dick? If Dick's hello-hug lasts for thirteen seconds instead of its usual fifteen, Tim's immediately all up in his business. What's wrong? Are you upset? Who upset you? What upset you? Can I help? No, tell me what's wrong, I'll fix it.

Tim's neurodivergent fanboy ass met his childhood hero and immediately glomped onto him. Dick's first mistake was not turning him away—the moment he let Tim into his apartment, whether he knew it or not, he just gained a little brother.

I see no difference

This is another one of those rare times I post marvel stuff

Ok so I had this thought that in the ending scene where Tom's Peter put a rose on May's grave he also saw two other graves.

One said Benjamin Parker and the other said Gwen Stacy and I thought that would be rlly cool but anyways

I like to think that when a parent has a emergency with their kid while working at Wayne Enterprise they just go straight to Mr. Wayne (if he’s in) No matter what, he has an open door policy. He encourages them to find him if they have any issues trying to get off work

Asshole supervisor: “and you have to leave? This isn’t a real emergency”

Parent: [walks off and gets onto the elevator to go to the board meeting currently in progress]

AS: “hey wait—“

Parent: [walks in quietly]

Bruce: “yes?”

Parent: “I have to pick up my child, I’ll be leaving soon”

Bruce: “is everything ok? Do you need time off?—“

Good parent and good boss Bruce Wayne

Teen Bruce pt 2: things I hear at school electric boogaloo

Bruce: *nodding along to a random guy talking about how "he would def suck Brandon's dick as long as he could ensure they would remain bros and not make it gay between them, bc he's not gay and Brandon's not gay so it would be more of a service to Brandon actually, just a favour really-"*

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Bruce: all I've got is one's in my pocket, I feel like a stripper

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Bruce: *thinks PSAT is a disease at first*

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Bruce: what're y'all being for halloween? I'm gonna be a nasty little whore.

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Bruce @ teen!Harv: really? after all the arson I watched you commit? we're still in the friend zone???

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Bruce: *watches selina and talia doing something stupid* polyam is a thing. a great, fantastic thing.

Damian Wayne 100% has pet chickens

There is nothing funnier to me than Bruce deciding to go to a circus to have fun for once in his miserable brooding life only to relive his childhood trauma and adopt a child

young bruce wayne has the same energy as natasha romanoff but especially when she makes pop culture references in her jokes and then awkwardly explains it bc he does that with gen-z and the justice league