Greetings, Crowbarman

What could have been

Bruce: I’m proud of you

Steph:

Bruce:

Steph, crying: It’s been so long since any sort of father figure said that to me

Bruce, also crying: You think of me as a father figure?

THEY’RE INSANE FOR THIS

Tony: One of my closest friends betrayed me and his best friend killed my parents.

Wanda: My brother and one true love died as well as my parents.

Peter: My parents died when I was a child and then I saw my uncle die infront of me and I got bit by a radioactive spider and I get bullied. Oh! And I was stuck under a building while wearing my homemade suit.

Wanda: Wait, you've been under a building?!

Tony: Wait, you're bullied?!

Who is the best animated Batman? Can the Supermen convince you that it's theirs? (Alt: Who is the most whipped animated Superman?)

Ok ok ok: So when Cass first came to the family their where some problems, like when before going to a gala or anything Cass struggled to make herself presentable she was new to do this and it was stressful, yeah Alfred could help with the dresses and sometimes Barbara could come by but not often. Bruce noticed this and decided to do something, he talked to Diana, to Dinah, to Mari McCabe, to anyone who could help and learned how to do Cass’s make-up and hair. At first it was kinda awkward as Bruce is not a professional stylist and it was weird for Cass to have her dad do her hair, but with time they got used to it. After a couple times it became almost routine not just for Gala’s and fancy events but just for whenever, Bruce sitting on a chair in the bathroom as Cass sits on a little stool, Bruce with bobby pins in his mouth and scrunchies around his wrist, he is actually pretty good at it and sometimes people even asked Cass who did her hair and she never knows what to say. Its not commonly known but its also not a well kept secret, Hal didn’t believe it when Barry told him until Bruce confirmed it. At this point its a tradition and Cass and Bruce almost feel weird when they go to a gala without doing it.

Do you have any fanfic recs? Cause I plowed through a lot but a lot I don’t really jive with. But your (correct) vision of the bats is what I’m looking for. You know Bruce is trying to be a dad and not ever hitting his kids. And everyone is like we hate each other for reasons but we also love each other.

Btw you literally make me grin. You’re truly funny and I just go on you blog and it makes my day better. Like the kind of smile you can’t smother and it just lasts for ages so thank you for every meme and joke and headcannon. They are so perfect

oh god you’re really putting a load on me here okay so good dad bruce wayne and overall good batfam stuff,,, also thanks so much! im really glad you like this stuff

Safe And Sound - watchingthestars13

this one is just,,, the cutest and i have read it like 20 times so far and it never fails to disappoint. it’s a 5+1 with times his kids called him dad and once he called himself dad. it has a hint of superbat, but that’s not the focus of the story.

Latchkey - goldkirk

okay this was one of the first tim drake centric works i read and it is the shit. (it also got me permanently imprinting on the first stupid nerd i saw) it’s about tim befriending jason and getting sucked into their family, while he’s trying not to get them to know he knows about their secret identities

Excelsior - jerseydevious

when i tell you you should read this im not kidding, it is one of my favourite batfam works and it’s just *chefs kiss* it’s incredibly well written and the characterisations are just beautiful and i love it so much. it’s about bruce buying damian a horse,,,, and then it all spirals from there.

Hummingbirds Under His Skin - jerseydevious

this,,, i just- dang this is a really good fic and i love it so very much. no explanation needed. bruce and dick have a little chit chat about being bisexual.

In For a Penny - cdelphiki

have you ever thought about how bruce must’ve been like 25 when damian was born? no? how damian was born when dick already lived with bruce? no? now have you ever thought about damian arriving at the manor as a baby? well now you do. it is,,, so cute and so angst, but so cute.

birds fly in every direction - distracted_dragon

is it obvious that i love tim drake yet? this is long, like 180.000-ish words but it is chockfull of shenanigans and angst and i love it so much. omg shit i just remembered @batfam-chaos is the author of this. i literally followed them bc of the fic and then i forgot they were the author omg. okay it’s about tim!! being very smart and researching vigilantes and then him befriending jason!

Emergency Contact - lurkinglurkerwholurks

if it’s not obvious i love tim yet,,,, ill eat my fucking hat. this is just a short cute fic about dad! bruce freaking the fuck out.

Disaster Zone - engmaresh

this is just hella cute and ridiculously fun. about bruce’s bathroom being terrorised by his kids, lots of big family shenanigans.

Pot, Meet Kettle - borntobemild

*screaming* i love stephanie brown!!!!!! (and tim drake) and stephanie brown and tim drake besties dynamic!!! it’s about tim and steph being bffs with shitty dads :( but i love it,,, read it now.

My own batfam works 

okay it’s probably weird to rec your own stuff, but i’m just putting out there that i am incapable of writing bad dad! bruce wayne so it definitely doesn’t have that.

BATMAN: WAYNE FAMILY ADVENTURES — EP. 11

Bruce got Zatanna to enchant more than just the cape. She enchanted three pockets of the utility belt too. All three are infinite, one keeps things cold, one just keeps things dry, the other keeps things warm.

He keeps juice boxes, apple slices, string cheese, and sandwiches in the cold pouch, trail mix, granola bars, protein bars, fruit snacks, chips, cookies, and canned goods in the regular pouch, and when he's about to serve one of the cans, he puts it in the warm pouch for a little while first so it's a lot more pleasant to eat. He also keeps blankets and clothes in the warm pouch which is great for missions in cold places.

He tries to keep enough food and water on him at all times for himself, all of his kids, and at least 3 other people for two or three days. It's good for mid patrol snacks, but more importantly, if they get stranded they have a supply of food ready to eat so they can focus on shelter and rescue instead of hunting and gathering. The longer he can avoid having to harm an animal in front of Damian the better. If they need the protein, he will, but... Best to avoid that situation altogether is his point.

He doesn't let anything go to waste either, he regularly hands the food out to the street kids around the city before anything can spoil (along with the warmed blankets and some clean clothes). Occasionally he leaves a few sandwiches, clean water and some cookies for Croc and Grundy and gives a juice box and some fruit snacks to Harley if she's having a bad night, the sugar eases her temper a bit. If Eddie's a little put out by how quickly a riddle was solved, he gets some apple slices, they seem to cheer him up.

Tony: Kid, why do you have bruises on your neck??

Peter, too embarrassed to say that he fell down the stairs: ummm... hickeys??

Tony: the fu- KEENER GET YOUR SORRY ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

Peter: wtf???