She Shared A Dream

Lovely.

How did you become a hotwife?

My husband asked me to consider this lifestyle. Initially I said no, I was shocked and couldn’t imagine being with someone else. I mean, part of me knew exactly who I wanted to fuck first, but the other part of me thought he didn’t fully understand what he was asking for and would get hurt. I love my husband dearly and would never want to hurt him. So I declined. We talked about it multiple times, learned more about what it was. How the kink of it appealed to him and worked for his desires. I spoke to some people who had done it and became a bit more open to the idea. Before I had met my husband I had always been very sexually active. I started having sex somewhat young and my drive has always been high. So, the more I learned about it, the more appealing it became to me as well because I love to fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. After discussing boundaries, hopes and desires for this new adventure we were thinking about, we dove in. I reached out to a friend that I used to be FWB with and asked if he wanted to meet up and play. He very much did and we arranged a date. We were both (my husband and I) quite nervous but excited too. It went really well and we just haven’t looked back. There have been a lot of changes since those early days of exploring, but it’s been a great experience. We love it. We’ve been fortunate in that we’ve met some really great bulls. Our share of asses too but mostly good experiences.

Interesting, and encouraging. Thanks.

Dating While Married

In the beginning, I had a fears - one was that there would be no one out there for my wife to play with, 

Well, there’s plenty of people interested, if you know where to look.  According to the stats, something like 45% of couples 30-44 are not monogamous.  That’s probably higher in certain places.  Something like a ⅓ of couples have had sex with another with consent of their romantic partner.   If they haven’t done it, they probably have thought about it as a fantasy.  It’s the most popular sex fantasy for Americans.  So the number of people who are doing it, have done it or thought about it is pretty high. 

Those numbers go even higher in certain social situations.  For example,  if a man agrees to get “coffee” with your wife, there’s a high likelihood he’s open to exploring.  Not 100% certain, but high chance.  Those odds go even higher  if he invites your wife out for “coffee.” 

And likewise, if a man is open to another man spending time with his wife or going out for drinks, there's a good chance they are open to exploring.

It's not 100% guaranteed, but many people aren't really monogamous.

Another post I don't want to lose.

“Wife Sharing IMPORTANT: ALL WIVES INTERESTED IN UNDERSTANDING MEN SHOULD READ THIS! The Hotwife Phenomena - The New Threesome By: Dr. Sherry Lee, Ph. D. From: Psychology Today (Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior. She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.) What Has Spurred the whole Hotwife Phenomena? Although motivations for the Hotwife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common. First let’s get this out of the way. The Menage a’ Trois is out, it’s yesterday’s news, and most women are glad to see it go. Why? Because for at least the last hundred years or so we women have had to indulge this male fantasy (usually with our best girlfriends as the second woman) and frankly guys, we’ve had enough. No, we don’t really like to perform oral sex on our best friends just because you think it’s hot, sorry. We’re not lesbians and even though it looks like we like it in every porno you’ve ever seen, the last thing that turns us on is watching you, our boyfriends/husbands screw another woman right in front of us. We just aren’t wired to like that. It’s biologically programed into us not to like seeing our mates mating with other females. On the other hand, we women know that a lot of you men out there DO like the idea of watching us, your girlfriends and wives, get it on with another male while you either watch or better still, join in. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Polls show that more and more women, especially those in their late thirties and older, who are passed or passing their child bearing years, say that the threesome they do find extremely exciting is the kind of threesome so called “Hot Wives” are having and that’s the MFM or Male-Female-Male threesome. These women are hitting their sexual prime during their late thirties and early forties and many of them like getting attention from younger males. These women don’t want to cheat on the men they love, they want to have their boyfriends and husbands to let them be the sexual creatures at the peak of their sexual powers that the media has falsely convinced men happens when women are in their twenties. It’s just not true. While many males my be suffering from a drop in their testosterone levels in their forties and feel like their sexual peak is a distant memory, the women in their lives are just getting warmed up, maybe even hot! What is a Cuckold? A husband who is a cuckold is aware of his spouse’s activity, most likely actively encouraging it and derives sexual pleasure from it. Biologist Robin Baker speculates in his book “Sperm Wars” that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. Baker believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to “compete” with the other man’s sperm. While this is just a theory it may help explain the desire by many men to have their wives sleep with other men. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife’s sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a “fallen woman” or even a “whore,” in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard. Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom. At the same time, some cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among the majority of these men, they want they wives to be known as “hot”, “sexy”, and “not hung up about sex,” or even “great lays.” Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men. Also, the husbands involved often pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can’t get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man’s wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is very “hot.” In most cases sex within a Hotwife marriage is just that. Hot. Women in the Hotwife lifestyle report having higher than average self esteem, they report far fewer incidences of infidelity on the part of their husbands, an above average libido, and overall feelings of being attractive, especially to younger males. Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy “good sex,” and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to “not disappoint” and “to be good in bed.” Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening.” This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn’t prepared to handle it. But for those men who have always thought that their wives were not only devoted to them but should be admired, even lusted after by other men, it is a dream come true. Contrary to the most commonly held belief that all cuckold husbands are by default the submissive type with a small penis inferiority complex, most of these men are actually extremely confident in their masculinity and their “manhood”. They also report having no desire to have sex with other women. Their hotwife is almost always the sole focus of all their sexual fantasy and activity. In my experience, this may be the only class of men who can actually be believed when reporting this. In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men “in the know” that she’s a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she’s available for sex. Women As Sex Objects? Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so. Most women have lived their lives trying to act “like proper women” and shunning men “who have one thing on their minds.” Now, according to one woman, “I let guys know I like sex.” Thus, she may soon get beyond, “what other people will think” and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men. Usually it’s the Husband’s Idea All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife. According to one husband, “I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she’s ‘available’ even though she’s married to me. But now I really get off on having a woman that guys think is hot and who they want to have sex with. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives. In a very good way.” According to another husband, “…as far back as I can remember in our marriage, I’ve always been turned on and excited by the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sexual attention she can handle. …She and I feel closer and more attracted to each other because of all the attention she gets from men. Especially the younger guys. They all think she is hot and they’re right! My wife feels that as long as we are together when she’s with another guy, everything is OK. It’s a huge turn on for both of us.” From her husband’s perspective, he has long ago ridded himself of the “fallen woman baggage” that pervades most of our culture, the fact that his wife is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and sometimes has sex with other men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband’s resolve to “treat her right” although most husbands with hot wives already have a sort of “wife worship” fetish you might call it. They tend to buy their wives pretty clothes, take them out, and tell them how attractive they think they are and make them feel that they are attractive to other men. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives. A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him. The Woman’s Perspective Women have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, “I’ve got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to have sex with a guy I find attractive, all I have to do is tell my husband and I have the freedom to do it. For me, having my husband there is a huge part of the turn on. Knowing it excites him makes it more exciting for me. Of course I’m excited that a younger, good looking guy wants me and thinks I’m hot, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But just sleeping with another guy without my husband feels more like cheating than a turn on. Some women go on dates without their husbands and a lot of husbands are OK with that. For me, I want my husband with me. I want him to see me being taken by another man. It’s really hot, for both of us.” At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with. The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes or tell her to go out without wearing any panties. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually “hot” may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same. The husband will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with his wife. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, “I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens.” The Quintessential Issue What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement. Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn’t. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners. This can be a problem in a work environment where “character” is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the “wife as the husband’s property” notion says that a husband should keep his wife “under control,” and if she has affairs she definitely isn’t “under control.”) While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won’t have this concern. All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won’t be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now. Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the “justifications” for dissolving relationships and an ever increasing divorce rate. Links: http://ccucksm.blogspot.com/ http://hotwifeblog.com http://www.ourhotwives.org”

—

(via

blindfoldcreampie

)

I’ve reposted this before, but it’s still a good read if you are thinking about getting into this.

(via wifessecretdesires)

Excellent. We've even done a few of these without realising it.

So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?

Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if you’re not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.

What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know he’ll like it?

Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. We’re very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. He’s not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where he’s a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.

Some safety rules.

First thing first. We don’t want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so let’s get some safety rules down first.

• Talk about what he like and doesn’t like beforehand. What I’m writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. It’s important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.

• What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when you’re raging horny is valid when you’re not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, you’re going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how you’re also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.

• This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. You’re allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after he’s had his orgasm so you won’t create a distorted image in his head.

What dirty talking is not

Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husband’s fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldn’t care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that you’re talking about his fantasies means that he’s too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.

Don’t rush it

The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!

I’ll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him  enjoy and simmer in it.

Don’t worry about repeating yourself

You might be thinking “but I already told him that story 3 times, I can’t think of something new”. Don’t worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.

And now…. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods that’ll make your husband lose his mind.

And then what

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.

That would be lovely. Yes please.

This really is solid advice. Thank you.

So, my girlfriend and I are planning on having our first threesome with some guy she knows and after having an anxiety attack about the whole thing I was wondering... Is there a way to make it so I don't get too jealous over this and feel the urge to cut his throat while he's making my girlfriend feel good? He's 7 while I'm 6.3-4. She's said that we don't have to if I don't want to and she'd be doing this purely for me since its my turn on and I hate that it is but what can I do?

This is a slightly different request for advice than I normally receive. Usually, I get some form of “How can I convince my wife/girlfriend to…yada, yada, etc?” In your case, your girlfriend is giving you the green light to experiment, but you’re justifiably cautious.

I have to assume you’ve read through all of the advice posts on this board. If not, it’s probably worth your time to do so now. Otherwise, read on.

My first piece of advice is simple: if you’re not absolutely certain that you’re ready, then I’d hold off for now. You can always do this later, but you can’t re-cork that genie after it’s out of the bottle.  I will never be able unsee my wife fucking other men, and she can’t be unfucked, but that’s okay for us. If you’re not sure that you’re okay with that, slow down. You don’t have to stop, but slow down.

I think a common mistake people make with this stuff is that they jump straight to sex. Why not simply watch your girlfriend make out with the other guy? Maybe she can simply give him a handjob while they fool around. Remember when you were a virgin and it was awesome simply to get to first base? A hand up the shirt was a powerful adrenaline rush. It’s kind of like that.  Anything you do will blow your mind anyway, so there’s no rush to have vaginal penetration. Have her sit between the two of you while you take turns making out with her, feeling her tits and/or fingering her. Maybe if you get relaxed enough you can encourage her to go down on him, or him on her. Or take turns grinding with her, or maybe you make out with her while he goes down on her. There are so many fun possibilities besides simply jumping headlong into sex.

A word of caution. It sounds like you’re planning on doing this with some guy she knows. That’s kind of a warning flag, if you’re at all worried about jealousy. She has some degree of relationship with this guy, and it sounds like she knows him more than you do. That might exacerbate any jealousy issues. Are you going to be worried if she’s contacting him later, or driving yourself crazy wondering who just texted her? I have no doubt that she’s on the up and up, but I’d be more worried about your mindset after it’s over. Maybe it seems safer to explore this with someone other than Stranger Danger.  We preferred our first time to be with a complete stranger, so that if it was awful we could at least close that particular door forever.

You’re going to feel some crazy jitters beforehand. If you drink, a few glasses of wine may help settle the nerves. Too much wine will probably make it worse. I’d advise against being drunk for this – if you need that, you’re probably not ready.

I have no doubt you’re talking and fantasizing about this during sex with your girlfriend. That’s always hot! Now try talking about it AFTER you have sex. After you cum and you’re getting up from bed, maybe discuss some of the logistics  – where does she want to meet with him or do you need to buy condoms for him or if she wants to go out and grab drinks after it’s over. If you make yourself sick doing that when you’re not really in the mood, then maybe you should think twice about doing it for real. Because after he fucks your girlfriend, eventually you’re going to orgasm and have to deal with a few moments of post-orgasm angst.

That reminds me. It may help to have something to do after the big event. Are you planning to go out for a late dinner? Drinks? Breakfast the next day? Give yourself a “next step” after the deed is done. Something for both of you to do together.

I’m hate sounding so preachy, but I wanted to respond thoughtfully. We love that others vicariously enjoy our experiences through this blog, but we’d feel genuinely awful if we played any part in irresponsibly encouraging others to do something for which they weren’t ready.  Your girlfriend sounds awesome, that she’s willing to try something like this in large part because it turns you on. Tell her how awesome that is.

Above all, talk this whole thing out with her. Seriously, it’s no big deal to tell her about your anxiety. The anxiety is what gets you off, but you’re not sure if it will overwhelm you during the act. It will help her to know the (somewhat intentional) torture you’ll be experiencing during the moment. Make sure you establish something like a  “safe word” with her before you play, if you would like it to stop without you having to make a big scene. Agree that any of you can shut it down if you’re not feeling it, and nobody gets to have hard feelings about it.

And if you decide you’re ready, remember that you love each other. Don’t forget to remind each other of that before, during, and after.

Let me know if this helps. I’d love to hear how it goes (or doesn’t’ go), and I’m sure virtually every follower of this blog feels the same way.

I need friends like this to hang out with...

Worship bwc

My HotWife Challenge app

Please try out my app I've made. It's still early days, but please let me know if I'm heading in the right direction.

It's an adult version of Bingo. As you do something on the board, tap it. The goal is to complete the whole board. You can also upload your own list of tasks in the form of a simple text file.

Also, if you have any ideas for features or other apps, please let me know.

Soooo many fun ideas here

Non-Cheating Hotwife Challenge

This is for a non-cheating “Hotwife”.  These dares involve flirting and risqué behavior only which are designed to increase trust, confidence, desire, appreciation, lust, intimacy and FUN in the marriage. NO ACTUAL CHEATING TAKES PLACE!! Make up your own “rewards” for achieving certain point levels.  

 1 Point

 #1 – Suck a lollipop seductively in public.

 #2 - Play naughty ‘truth or dare.’

 #3 – Send your hubby a kinky pic of you while shopping.

 #4 - Let your hubby take sexy pics of you flashing in public.

 #5 - Talk to someone on the phone whilst you use a dildo or a vibrator.  Bonus point if it’s one of your husband’s  friends or a male family member.

 2 Points

 #6 - Go out in public in a short skirt with no panties.  Bonus point if you bend over with people around!

 #7 - Wear a skirt and remove your panties in public not far from people.

 #8- Get your hubby a cock cage and lock him up while you dress provocatively all week.

 #9 – Role-play that your hubby is a stranger and you’re a horny, cheating wife.

 #10 - Flash your boobs to a stranger.  Bonus point if it’s “accidentally” to a male acquaintance!

 3 Points

 #11 – Eye fuck a guy. Bonus point if it’s in front of your husband!

 #12 – “Forget” to wear your bra in public when it’s somewhat noticeable.

 #13 – Wear a loose fitting top in public.  Bend over in front of attractive people.  Bonus point if no bra!

 #14 - Have your hubby make his dick bigger with a penis extender and role-play that he’s a big-dicked stranger.

 #15 – Tell your hubby he can cum only at the thought of you with another man.

 4 Points

 #16 - Go out without a bra on while wearing a sexy shirt with your hubby.

 #17 - Hubby picks out a revealing outfit for you for the day. Whenever you catch someone looking, smile.  At the end of the day, tell your hubby about it while he strokes himself.

 #18 - Flirt with another man while you’re seated.  Cross your legs slowly as you talk and see his reaction. Bonus point if you’re wearing a skirt/dress. 5 bonus points if wearing a skirt/dress and no panties!

 #19 – Flirt strongly with a girl.  Tell your husband all about it if he’s not there.  Bonus point if your hubby is present!

 #20 – Go to dinner with a low cut top and your tits out.  Put your tits on display every time the server comes to your table.  Bonus point if the server gets caught obviously looking!

 5 Points

 #21 – In front of people (strangers or acquaintances), say slutty things.

 #22 - Get a lap dance at a strip club with your husband watching.

 #23 – “Accidently” show someone a hot pic of you while showing them something on your phone.

 #24 - Get hit on and picked up by a hot guy.  Your hubby can “rescue” you at the right time.

 #25 - Go to dinner with your husband.  After the meal, slip your panties off and sit at the bar and flirt with other men as he watches.

 6 Points

 #26 - Go out without a bra on while wearing a sexy shirt without your hubby.

 #27 - Go out in public with a remote vibrator in you and talk to attractive guys.  Your hubby watches and controls it.

 #28 - Dress revealing.  Look at an attractive guy until he looks away.  Bonus point if he approaches you!

 #29 - Make up a story about getting it on with another girl while you give your hubby a handjob until he cums.  

 #30 - Have an anonymous dirty conversation with a stranger online.

 7 Points

 #31 – Time how quickly your hubby cums when you talk about:

a.   Fucking another man

b.  Sucking another man

c.   Him and a stranger (guy or girl) sharing you

 #32 - At a party, leave at least one extra button unbuttoned.  

 #33 – Make up a story about fucking or sucking another guy while you give your hubby a handjob until he cums.  

 #34- Wear a button-up top.  Hubby dictates how much cleavage is shown.  Smile and flirt with every person that looks. At the end of the day, tell your hubby about it while you blow him.

 #35 – Next girls’ night out, wear a dress or skirt with no panties.

 8 Points

 #36 – Hubby gives you money to buy new shoes.  Wear a skirt with no panties while trying them on while someone assists you.

 #37 - Wear a short skirt, dress or revealing top with no wedding ring. Have fun and see how much attention you get.  Share it with your husband as you stroke him.

 #38 - Have your hubby fuck you slowly while you tell him a made-up fantasy about fucking someone else.

 #39 - Use a vibrator while watching porn (any genre - your choice) while describing how hot the guy is or how big his cock is while your husband is forced to masturbate.  

 #40 – Fuck in the bathroom of a club or bar after flirting with strangers.

 9 Points

 #41 – Tell your hubby a made up story about having sex with someone else while he fingers you.  Bonus point if it’s a true story from your past and you let him know!

 #42 - “Accidentally” rub against a guy’s dick through his pants with your hand or ass.

 #43 - Wear a short skirt.  Do things like crossing your legs, adjusting your shoes, etc. to see if any strangers try and look up the skirt.  If you catch them, smile.  Bonus point if no panties!

 #44 - Dress sexy and sit at a bar by yourself.  Smile, flirt, bend over, etc. as your hubby watches.  Then go home with your hubby and fuck!

 #45 – Hubby dresses you as he sees fit.  Go out and do whatever he asks.

 10 Points

#46 - On a girls’ night out, send your husband pictures of you flirting and having fun with other men.

 #47 - Get 3 guys to buy you a drink at the bar.  Do whatever it takes to make it happen!

 #48 - Go to a club and dance with another man while your husband watches.

 #49- Go out without your hubby, flirt with strangers, and keep texting your husband giving him updates about it.

 #50 - Wear sexy, tight, short or revealing clothes when his friends are over.  Do things like bending over, etc. to show it off! See how often you both catch them sneaking peeks.

Kinky vs selfless

I'm still trying to understand my feelings and why I find the idea of my wife having sex with another man in front of me to be such a huge turn on.

At first I thought it was just another kinky fetish - something new to keep the sparks alive.

Then I thought it was the logical argument of "sperm competition" that makes the husband rise to the challenge of other attractive men.

But now I think it might be selflessness. It's less about the act of sex in front of me that I find arousing, but rather seeing her revel in arousal, pleasure and freedom of expression. To see her throw off the shackles of societal norms and just do what she wants.

This sexual freedom is a gift I can give her, rather than an act she performs for me.