(Absolutely don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable) ENA (Dream bbq) getting drunk with reader?
★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcannons Featuring Drunk Salesperson Ena X Reader
★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)
★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW
★ Warning(s): Mentions And Descriptions Of Alcohol
★ Image Credits: @JoelG
☆ You should’ve known something was off when Ena invited you to what she called “a high-stakes engagement strategy brainstorm over beverages.” You were picturing coffee. Not tequila. Not her slamming two shot glasses on the bar and declaring, “Let’s reframe the concept of reality, darling.” She drinks like it’s a performance review—firm eye contact, exaggerated praise, and PowerPoint levels of misplaced confidence.
☆ Once Ena’s a few drinks in, her Salesperson side becomes so aggressively charming it’s like being smothered in coupon codes. “If you subscribe to this partnership now, I’ll offer you unlimited emotional support and complimentary hand-holding,” she hums, voice like cherry soda and half-suppressed giggles. You try to hide your flustered expression. She sees it. She logs it as “high conversion potential.”
☆ Her Meanie side doesn’t come out often at first—until she tries to order fries, but the kitchen’s closed. Suddenly she’s slamming her forehead on the bar, sobbing, “I AM THE TRAGIC EMBODIMENT OF CORPORATE WASTE—WHERE’S MY SALTED PRODUCTIVITY?!” You offer her a peanut. She throws the bowl at a breathing taxidermy moose.
☆ “Here’s your performance feedback,” she slurs, twirling a swizzle stick like a laser pointer, “You’re hot. You show initiative. You opened a door for me once. I will die for you.” You tell her that’s not how feedback works. She pulls out a clipboard from her suspenders and tries to make you sign a form titled “Love Contract (Beta).”
☆ She draws gimmicks on napkins. Terrible ones. Drunk ideas like “emotionally sentient office chairs” and “a pyramid scheme where everyone sells little hats.” You try to say “maybe we shouldn’t do this.” She claps a hand on your back like a frat bro and shouts, “WRONG ATTITUDE, PARTNER. THINK BIGGER.” Then she draws a diagram that’s just the word “VIBES” in a circle.
☆ She stares at you for a full minute, eyes glassy, voice flat: “Are you in the mood for shared assets and mutual annihilation, or should I put on my mask again and pretend not to like you?” You blink. She blinks. Her red side winks. You are either about to get kissed or yelled at. Or both. Probably both.
☆ The bar has one of those ancient karaoke machines. She picks a glitchy jazz remix of the Windows 95 startup sound. Halfway through she forgets the words (there are no words) and starts yelling improvised business jargon in rhythm. “Synergize my dividends, baby! Let’s OUTSOURCE THE PAIN!” Someone in the back cheers. You cry.
☆ Her Salesperson side leans over the counter, cheeks flushed, voice soft and too sincere: “Do you think people like me more when I smile? I’ve been smiling all night. It hurts now. But I—I want to be liked. I want you to like me. For me. Even if I mess up the pitch.” And her Meanie side chimes in: “GØD, I hate being real.”
☆ You’re not sure what triggered it—maybe someone said “quarterly”—but suddenly she’s sobbing into your shoulder like a malfunctioning LinkedIn ad. “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE A PRODUCT OF CAPITALISM! I just wanted to sell fruit. Or stickers! Or happiness! But now I’m selling ME!” You rub her back. She hiccups and asks if you’d still like her if she was “just a weird triangle girl with debt.”
☆ The bar’s quiet now. Her hat’s fallen off. You’re holding her upright and she’s murmuring nonsense like, “Let’s invest in each other’s feelings… diversify the pain into smaller dividends… I’ll build a company out of your laugh…” Then, barely audible: “You’re my best client. Don’t ever unsubscribe.” You smile. You don’t say anything. You just let her rest.
i looooove seeing artists & writers proud of their work!!!!! i looooove captions & authors notes that say things like “i’m quite happy with this” “i love how this turned out” “i had so much fun making this”!!!!!! i loooooove when the act of creation is joyful & we take pride in what we make!!!!!!!!!!
🐸🍝
Initiation
Part of "The Sanctity of Sacred Spaces" series
The Heart Pirates were overwhelming. So loud and chaotic that you didn’t know how you’d ever fit in with them. But you didn’t have any need to worry.
Takes place near the beginning of reader's journey with the crew.
Though you had joined (more like forced yourself into) the Heart Pirates in a blaze of chaos and explosions (quite literally), that courage didn’t stay in the aftermath of everything. When it was all said and done, and you’d stitched in a place on the Polar Tang as their tentative tailor, all the fight and bravery went down the drain.
Though you couldn’t say that you thrived on talking to others, you boasted fair enough people skills (which was more than could be said for their—your captain). Just enough for you to be known as a cordial and affable person. But with your history, growing up as you did, you had to say that your inclinations leaned more to that of reservedness.
The same could not be said for this new group of people you found yourself with.
They were loud, you already knew that from your initial introduction to them. But now, in close quarters and a confined space, the noise absolutely echoed. The sense of camaraderie was strong with them, inside jokes and banter flowing like water between them all. They would often include you in it too.
“Hey, Newbie!”
You froze as Ikkaku honed in on you, a touch of wildness in her eyes as she sped to you, dragging Clione along with her.
“Oi, don’t involve other people in with this!” the hooded blonde complained, but he still cornered you alongside the tall woman.
“We need you to settle this for us!” Ikkaku declared, crossing her arms. “Clione thinks that white lights are the best interior lights. But obviously, warmer lights are better than cool ones, yeah? You agree, right?”
“No???! Don’t influence the Newbie!”
“Shut up, you’re just angry because I’m right!”
“Uhm,” you began warily. “I think white lights are good if you want to maintain alertness, but warmer-toned lights are good for relaxation. Depending on what you need, one cn be better for your eyes than the other.”
Both stared at you blankly.
“Yeah, but which one is better?” Ikkaku prompted.
“I… They all have their…uses…”
Both members threw their hands up in twin displays of frustration. “That doesn’t help at all!”
They devolved back into their squabble, and you took a step away.
Two heads snapped at you. “Stay here!”
Your shoulders sunk down as you glanced furtively down the hall to see if anybody was coming. It seems like you’ll be stuck with them for a bit.
But not only did they pull you into the most mundane of conversations, but they were also touchy.
Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi were guilty of being particularly forward, the three having no qualms being in everyone’s space. While Bepo’s was well-intentioned—the Mink trying his best not to overstep his boundaries aside from when he’d scoop someone up in a hug—Penguin and Shachi had no qualms about holding back. Crewmates were often the victim of one or both of them leaning on them at once, on either side. The first time they did that, you nearly jumped a foot in the air, if not for their weight on you.
The bolts of fabrics you were carrying thumped to the ground as you were jostled by twin pairs of arms, pushing you down. “Ah!”
“Whatcha got there, Newbie?” Penguin asked.
“New fabrics for the boiler suits,” you replied, wiggling out of their hold to hurriedly pick up the nearest roll, inspecting them for any stains. You would’ve snapped at the pair for making you drop them, but you were too busy fretting, and did not want to piss off the unofficial-official first mates of the captain. “I–Uh, C-Captain approved of this particular type. It’s more suitable to the conditions of the Tang than your suits now.”
“Oh shit, really?” Shachi crouched down right next to you, his side pressed up against your own as he grabbed the bolt of fabric you were holding while Penguin began gathering the other rolls.
The taller man tried to pick up all up, but let out a curse as their weight bore down on him. “Holy crap—”
You wobbled as his heat burned into your side, a hand reaching out to steady him as you took a few off to lighten the load.
“How the hell were you carrying so many with your stature?!?” Penguin ask incredulously, tugging his hat back in place.
“I’m used to it,” you said simply, reaching for the rest in his hold. However, a hand fisted the back of your current suit’s collar and hauled you up. “Ack–!”
“No need!” Shachi announced, wrapping his arm back around your shoulders. “Big Bro Peng and I will help you carry them!”
“Are you sure this is not you two trying to worm out of the Captain’s duties again…?” You asked.
“No way!”
“That’s silly!”
(They were, in fact, trying to dodge responsibilities.)
Though, despite their welcoming air, you couldn’t help but linger at the edges of everything. Too afraid to integrate yourself into their folds. Yes, you may have been brought on as their tailor—a position sorely needed as the most experienced person before you were the poor cook who at most knew how to do basic stitching—but you were still Newbie, first and foremost. Still clumsy when taking up the shared duties and occasionally getting lost in the halls. Your position here was strenuous at best, and you feared that there would be whatever reason that made them drop you off at the next island they docked at.
You peeked your head into the mess hall, wondering what was important enough that you were summoned there after your watch duties
Shousai was the first to see you, the large, bald man waving a gloved hand at you. “Oi, Newbie, there you are!”
That sent an excited titter over the crew.
“Newbie’s here!”
“About time!”
“What took you so long?”
You took a tentative step into the room, but remained near the doors, wringing your hands. They had called you over the intercoms in the middle of you reworking he boiler suits, so it made you anxious to resume working. “What’s… happening…?”
“Since, you’ve been doing a stellar job aboard the Polar Tang,” Bepo announced. “It’s about time that you get initiated into the group pose!”
“Group pose?”
The Mink nodded, completely serious. “Yes! We Heart Pirates take pride in our crew, so it’s imperative that we are ready to show that pride whenever Captain introduces us!”
Slowly shuffling backward, you asked, “Do I have to do it?”
“Yeah!” Clione yelled. “We all have to do it! You’re part of the crew, now. You can’t get out of this, Newbie!”
Hands grabbed your shoulders, and you looked back, expression full of betrayal as you found Uni to be the one pushing you to the group. The stoic man’s expression gave nothing away, except for the slightest pinch in the corners of his eyes that indicated amusement.
More hands grabbed at your arms when you were in range, Uni leaving to assume his position once he ensured that Shachi’s hold on you rendered escape impossible. You were shuffled from person to person, but for once, their touches didn’t make you tense nor freeze the way touches used to. They had, without you realizing, wormed their way through your guards as much as you’ve settled into their rank. In their endearingly Heart Pirates way.
Weak. Would have been what he called them. Called you. But those were just the whispers of the dead.
Shosai muttered your name as you were slotted right next to him. “You have to convince Risso to make something other than broiled rice cakes and peas and fish for dinner.”
“He says we have to try and conserve our supplies,” you protested quietly as Omura’s elbow dug into your shoulder.
“Yes, but we all know there are much better combinations than fish and peas.”
Scanning the group for the yellow newsboy hat and braids of the cook, you asked, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”
“He likes you more!”
Bepo turned to give the both of you a chastising look as Shachi shushed you two. The Mink waited until the redhead ran through the positioning of your arms and legs. “Okay, Newbie! We’re going to do it now. Do you have the pose memorized?”
“Yes,” you said sulkily, resigned to your fate.
“Okay, Heart Pirates! Three, two, one!”
The crew burst into a clamoring of noise and limbs, you following suit with a heaping dose of embarrassment.
Your face burned even hotter as, right after, the captain walked into the room. Law didn’t even blink as he saw the group of you in the mess hall, mug of coffee in his hands as he sipped on it. The crew held that pose, as if waiting for his approval.
He looked at you all with a sharp eye, amusement shining through as he cocked his head. “I think you should move Newbie-ya more to the left.”
“COME ON, CAPTAIN!”
Your face quivered as you fought a smile. Surrounded on all sides by lively figures, you undeniably felt warm.
Eventually, the nickname fell away, to be replaced with your own name or “Tailor”. Years later, as you and your nakama—a little bruised, and battered, but now twenty strong—assembled into that ridiculous group pose to greet Straw Hat, Shosai lifting you up onto his shoulders so you could throw your arms up and out into a victorious ‘V’, Jean Bart’s steady presence behind you, you couldn’t feel a greater sense of belonging.
Reblog this and put in the tags what you think your role is in your fandom.
Today’s izutsumi: chill
Actually, Logan was made to peel apples for Laura and help her reach for Remy’s cookies, strike embarrassing poses when Kitty needs a model for her art class, chase after Bobby when the little asshole steals his motorcycle, hold Daken’s hand when they cross the street even though he’s 21 and his claws pierce through him, and play video games with Jubilee with his grandpa glasses. He’s made to be a dad. And kill people. Hope this helps!
the author's barely disguised lack of socialisation and profound sense of alienation from all other human life
Jason Todd x fem!reader
Warnings: none
Authors note: this is my first time ever doing something like this, I’m not a writer by conventional means but I could not leave you all hanging after blowing up my blurb
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
“That’s a nice jacket.” Your greedy gaze takes in the leather comfortably draping his body.
He eyes you carefully, “Thanks.”
“You got candy in there?” You grin up at him.
“Sweetheart, ask for what you really want.” You hate the way he’s able to coax you into yourself, grounding you with the idea that he’s not like eveyone else. He doesn’t flinch at your forwardness.
“Can I…explore your pockets a bit..?”
You aren’t snoopy by nature (yes you are) , but the desire to more about him drew you into asking this absurd question.
He leans closer to you on the couch, offering his pocket. He carefully takes in the details of your face. You’d wilt under anyone else’s scrutiny, but his attention lacks judgment.
Tentatively you reach in.
He feels your hand digging around. This is the only way he can stomach letting you touch him, between a layer of thick fabric…it feels nice.
“Massive pockets. You carry your bike in here?”
Your heart leaps at the way his laugh softens his voice, “Yeah sweets sometimes I put ‘er in there.”
Your hand wraps around cool metal, heavy in your palm as you lift it into the light of the room.
A pocket knife.
“Oh.” Your eyes gleam dangerously, “You stab someone with this before?” You pop open the blade, checking for blood, before he gently confiscates it, clicking it closed.
“A stab from this’d be a paper cut.” He lifts it away from your reaching hands.
“Then what do you have it for?” He gives you a wry smile, “Has no one taught you anything about—” he pulls his hand away as you reach for it, “—survival?”
“Mmm…not really, no.” You quip. Whether or not it’s sarcasm, he mentally adds to the list of things he needs to teach you.
You reach in again, pulling out a folded piece of paper, you carefully un-crumple it, glancing up at him briefly, waiting to see if he stops you. He only holds your gaze. “Nothing juicy huh?” Your eyes scan a grocery list.
Oh Ho Ho. “Pomegranates?”
“They’re in season…” he murmurs as you read on.
“You put C4 on your grocery list?”
His brows scrunch confusedly, your gasp interrupts his rebuttal, “Chloroform?!” He rips the paper out of your hands, and double checks the list. Bread, chips, peanut butter, mozzarella, eggs, etc.
He sighs, “You don’t buy chloroform at the grocery store, you make it.”
“How?” He gives you a disapproving look, you return it with a grin of your own as you reach in again.
“Shiny…” The three bullets are weighty, all smooth, and cold in your palm.
You let him confiscate those, reveling in his gentleness, and the contrast of his warm, rough fingers. His nearly somber expression catches you off guard, like a cold breeze through a sweater meant to keep you warm. The bullets are a heavier weight, in his hand.
“You’re worse than a crow.” He mutters.
You reach in again, “…my hair tie.”
“Mh.” His noncommittal answer soothes your poorly concealed nerves. What needn’t be said, or brought to the light; whatever this was between you.
He confiscates yet another item from your palm, pulling it on his wrist. “This is mine too.”
“Once you've been loved once and have loved once, you cannot forget it.” ― Natsume Takashi, Natsume Yuujinchou
This is a place for me to interact with other writers I read and post miscellaneous works (mostly reader-insert)! No promises that I'll remain consistent in my posts since I have school, but I'm just here to have fun and contribute to the fandoms. I hope you'll enjoy as well!
What shows I'm a fan of:
Natsume Yuujinchou
Mushishi
Boku no Hero Academia
Buddy Daddies
GANGSTA.
And more!
Where else you can find me:
OC blog: @the-resting-grounds
AO3: Elise_Wing
“I don’t have much power and I’m trying to get stronger. But I’m not afraid of sharing my heart.” – Natsume Takashi
“If you throw your life away, you won’t even have the capacity to feel regret.” – Ginko
“The sun rises today and sets again. A flower that bloomed in the morning, falls from its stem. The sun sets today and rises again. Flowers bloom to fill the land, but not the flowers of yesterday.” – Ginko
Wing/Silver | 19 | she/they | I write and reblog fics || Reader-insert centric |Interacts from @elise-wing
291 posts