I Think We Need To Acknowledge More That Kunikida Has Serious Issues Telling People That He Cares About

i think we need to acknowledge more that kunikida has serious issues telling people that he cares about them — and that when he does tell them, unless he's being pushed into it, he does it in more... out of the normal ways.

kunikida is more than capable of saying nice things about his loved ones — however, most of the time, he says them in more private settings when they won't be able to hear.

it's funny because kunikida loves the rest of the ada (especially dazai and atsushi) so deeply — but he struggles so much with showing it.

he can't just be vulnerable like that and tell atsushi that he was worried or that he was proud of him — he has to do it in some roundabout way and ultimately needs to be pushed into actually being vulnerable enough to say what he means. he can't just tell dazai that he was scared for his life, and that he doesn't want dazai dead — he has to say that it's up to /him/ to kill dazai — dazai can't kill himself, because kunikida is the one who ultimately has to choose when he dies (because if it was up to kunikida, dazai wouldn't die until he's old and wrinkled).

it's actually really fun looking back on the series with the knowledge of how deep kunikida's issues with actually being upfront and honest about his feelings are — because you look back on scenes like this, which initially looked like kunikida being scared of the mafia — but which you realize now in hindsight was actually kunikida having been scared out of his mind over atsushi, and at the idea of the mafia hurting him.

kunikida loves those around him — and he loves them deeply — he just has deep seated emotional repression and vulnerability issues that don't allow him to say these things. he does show it all the time through his actions, however.

(buying time for kyouka and atsushi in dead apple, buying ochazuke for atsushi when they first met even if he bitched and moaned about it, making meals for dazai, buying time for atsushi and tanizaki, etc. it says a lot about the guy who repeatedly says that you can't save everyone because they're not heros, and sometimes you need to run away, that he's always the first to sacrifice himself to save the rest of the agency).