A Young, Horny Lambert Sets His Sights On An Older Hunk Of Witcher Beef. CW: Age Gap, Flirtation.

A young, horny Lambert sets his sights on an older hunk of Witcher beef. CW: age gap, flirtation.

"I'm going for it."

"Lambert, don't be a fucking idiot. They'll laugh at you."

"They might, but he won't. You miss all the chances you don't take, right?"

"Your funeral."

Lambert licked his lips and smoothed his hair back as he stood. He hadn't torn his eyes away from his mark for a single second since said man had swaggered into the hall a few hours before. This was the winter he'd do it. He was a man himself now, which meant he had every chance of bagging himself the hunk of good-lookin' he'd been coveting from the moment his dick had started getting hard at night and hair had appeared on his jaw.

Eskel.

It wasn't just that Eskel had two decades on Lambert or that he was becoming a seasoned witcher. No other Witcher in the keep compared. Sure, some tried. They might step toe to toe during drills or try to outflame Eskel's igni, but they never could. The only one that outmatched Eskel was his pale shadow, Geralt. They even looked a little similar. But cream puff was a fucking bean pole of a man, and that shitty headband...

N'aw, Lambert wanted big. He wanted heat, and honey eyes, and that thatch of dark hair he'd seen on Eskel's barrelled chest in the baths, and that huge fucking d--

"You lost, Lambert?"

Lambert blinked. Gweld, the ginger prick, was frowning at him, ale tankard halfway up to his mouth. The others had paused their card game; Clovis looked drunk, Geralt was slouched back trying to see Clovis' hand and Eskel was watching Lambert speculatively.

Watching, with those honey-coloured eyes that turned Lambert inside out. The words caught in Lambert's throat; shit, fuck, why was he so fuckin' stupid the moment Eskel looked at him?

He took a breath, conscious of Clovis elbowing Gweld with a chuckle, while Geralt looked over with a smirk.

Lambert found his words. He folded his arms, thrust his chest out, widened his stance and put on his best cocky smirk. "Was just wonderin' whether Eskel wanted some better company. You losers can't handle your beer at the best of times."

They laughed. Gweld elbowed Eskel who cocked a half smile, eyes rolling not at Lambert, but his friends, proving Lambert's point. Obviously.

"Is that right?" Geralt asked, amusement turning his narrow face bright with a toothy grin. Lambert had been told that as witchers matured they honed their sense of smell, could identify a man's emotions from his body language, the flush in his skin. Lambert knew Geralt had him sussed. "And what kinda company are you offering?"

"Geralt..." Eskel growled in warning, and it went straight to Lambert's groin. Fucking hells.

"Whatever he wants. I'm a man of many talents."

More laughter--"little man has game, shit; fuck, I'm chokin, too funny"--but Lambert wasn't put off. Eskel's eyes were on him, warming him like the sun. The lines around those eyes were wrinkled with mirth, and damn if that smile wasn't snatching the breath right out of Lambert's chest.

"Does your master know you're out?" Eskel asked, placing his cards face down. He leaned back in his chair and slung his elbow onto the back of it, knee turned out while a hand tapped at his drink.

Lambert tried to keep his eyes level and resist the urge to... look. Eskel's codpiece put on an absolutely fucking heroic effort, but it could only hide so much and that was when Eskel was soft. "What he don't know can't hurt him. No business of his who else is in my bed as long as I am."

Eskel pressed his lips together to smother his smile while the others guffawed. More was said but Lambert didn't really hear; he was too focused on keeping his heart from beating out his chest and appearing suave.

Eskel hummed. "Aren't you a little young to be lookin' for that kinda fun?"

"Worried you won't be able to keep up, old man?" Lambert felt momentum. He could do snark, he could meet Eskel on this well worn ground, toe to toe, and the way Eskel's head tilted to the side and his eyebrow rose. It wasn't a no, right? He looked interested. Amused, but he didn't dismiss Lambert outright.

Gweld slapped Eskel on the shoulder with a bark. "Eskel here's got stories that'd make your balls shrivel up into yer belly, lad. I don't think he's a good choice for yer first ride, best drop your ambitions."

"Fuck off, Gweld," Eskel said, but there was no heat to his words. Just wry amusement.

Geralt snorted into his drink and Clovis made a vulgar gesture with his hand, but before Lambert could respond a familiar voice barked through the hall and sucked all the building sexual tension into a vacuum. "Lambert, get your arse to bed, you missed roll call!"

Lambert clenched his teeth, shoulders lifting towards his ears. For fuck's sake...

Three of the witchers in front of him groaned in mock empathy. "Oof, tough break, Lambino. Cock blocked by Vesemir," Gweld said, shaking his head while Geralt and Clovis snickered. "Don't worry, we've all been there. Ain't that right, Gerbear?"

Geralt guffawed in protest and smacked Gweld on the shoulder. It quickly devolved into a wrestling match on the floor, one which Gweld was definitely going to lose. Eskel watched them briefly before he looked back at Lambert. "Another time perhaps," he said, toasting Lambert with his ale. "G'wan, before he decides the target dummies are a little light on straw."

Lambert grunted, frustrated, but stalked away. He'd made inroads, and the way Eskel's eyes had shone, and that crooked grin. Eskel hadn't outright rejected him, hells, he'd--well, that smile... Eskel didn't smile at everyone like that.

Lambert laid in bed with that smile behind his eyes and a hand under the sheets, determined that it would be Eskel's instead of his own by winter's end.

More Posts from Staunchen and Others

1 year ago

AllAlone!WWX would most definitely breach containment after original WWX and JC leave. Because why would he stay in his own empty/lonely world if he doesn't have to? There must be plenty of JCs out there, surly one is in need of a shixiong? Who knows, maybe he could even gain a whole collection of them too.

An adult JC because he always wanted to see JC grow into his gorgeous self, a teenage JC, one that he himself saved even, to fix his past sins, a child JC because he's simply too cute to leave out, same goes for the catboy version he found, and he especially had to save his shidi, this time shimei, from being married off to Wen Chao of all people. With so many JCs he would never be alone again! . . . Oh god he would start a sort of Shidi war now wouldn't he?

Oh, he'd absolutely get ideas after meeting Another Himself from a different dimension where Jiang Cheng survived. He'd 100% interrogate the Canon!WWX and learn that there are other worlds where JC lived.

And it would stay with him and torture him for days, weeks, months... And he'd tell himself that he won't do it, that he can't, that Jiang Cheng that's happy where he is should be left there, that he couldn't hurt them...

But, if there was Jiang Cheng that wasn't happy where he was? If there was Jiang Cheng that was left without Wei Wuxian? Alone in a ravaged, sect, without his golden core without support, unprotected from the greed of other sects... His shidi that was always trying to hard, that was ready to give from himself until nothing was left for the safety of his loved ones... How could Wei Wuxian leave him to such terrible existence?

And so it starts, the mission of finding a shidi for himself. And the longer it goes, Wei Wuxian isn't even lying to himself anymore - he's doing this for himself. He cannot be in a world where his Jiang Cheng isn't. He cannot live with himself and his guilt anymore. He won't.


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1 year ago

so do you think wwx would still do the core transplant if he knew why jc lost his core? i think he might

Oh yeah. Actually it might depend on what scenario we're talking about here? Is this an AU where JC mumbles out the truth when feverish or something, or is this a time travel situation? Regardless, the following remain true:

Wei Wuxian loves Jiang Cheng very much and JC being sad in his vicinity is basically intolerable to him

Wei Wuxian considers himself to owe a debt to the Jiang

Wei Wuxian loves Lotus Pier and wants it restored and Jiang Cheng is the best chance they have

Wei Wuxian has rock bottom self worth and sky high self esteem, which means he does not consider himself of value while also simultaneously thinking he knows best and has the right to make decisions for other people

Obviously in canon or in a time travel AU where he didn't find out, he's ripping his organs out. If he does know, it kind of depends on timing. Teen WWX who heard JC's mumbled confession is drowning in guilt and self hatred and does it immediately. In some ways this improves the state of their relationship, because WWX now knows that Jiang Cheng considers him more important than his own life or even the sect. He's extremely upset by this, because "Your brother loves you" is the most devastating blow for either of them, but he is not questioning whether JC sees him as family in the same way as in canon. Wei Wuxian had to really tell himself over and over to consider the transfer as repayment or redemption to be alright with it, but this WWX is possibly trying to invent skin grafts to get rid of JC's scars. This is not a positive, but it does change things. However this also means that if JC ever finds out, not only will WWX have tricked him into a procedure he wouldn't have wanted, he purposefully and knowingly overrode his choice. This creates tension in relationships.

If it's time travelling WWX, if he has just found out and/or they haven't fully reconciled, he's having the same breakdown JC had in the Ancestral Hall and once again rips out his organs, possibly while whispering "Thank you and I'm sorry" because character development is not linear and WWX gets a little unhinged about his family. However if they've worked through things and communicated and hashed out where things went wrong and what they want their relationship to look like now and how they're going to achieve this, I think they can develop healthier habits. Wei Wuxian's postcanon advice to Jin Ling is to let himself rely on Jiang Cheng because being pushed away for his own good will just make him feel abandoned, and to respect JC's decision to risk his reputation to help and trust him to handle himself. As wildly hypocritical as this sounds, I think WWX has pretty clearly done some thinking about where he fucked up on that one. If WWX is able to come to this conclusion on his own without having worked through things with Jiang Cheng, I think he is capable of admitting that the core transfer while done out of love was maybe a touch fucked up. I do believe in these clowns being able to talk about the way they hurt each other and were hurt in turn and the misunderstandings between them. Wei Wuxian's character arc hasn't stopped at the end of the story, there's a reason WWX has that moment after Wen Qing and Wen Ning sacrifice themselves for him where he suddenly understands why Jiang Cheng hates when he does this. I think we can even out the self worth/self esteem ratio so WWX isn't constantly sacrificing himself because he knows best, and trusting JC specifically to make his own choices.

...Or at least that was what I was triumphantly going to say, until I saw a relevant gifset and contemplated Wei Wuxian suddenly being faced with a devastated Babie Jiang Cheng for the first time in decades. Jiang Cheng crying is already kind of a one hit KO for Wei Wuxian when they're the same age, can he really look at Babie JC's lip wobble without folding like a cheap lawn chair? I have long thought about them growing past their old mistakes and was confident that WWX could get there but now I am reconsidering this.


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mdzs who knows wei wuxian jiang cheng mdzs meta golden core transfer yeah honestly im thinking some dreamscape nonsense where wei wuxian is confronted with a young jiang cheng (his own dream or jiang cheng's dream he's in? vision? time traveling? touching someone else's spirit/dual cultivation/golden core sharing? and anyway its raining hard and young jiang cheng is crying about wei wuxian and asking if he's okay and older wei wuxian is like uhhhh? and then somehow it cuts to like. jiang cheng taking a hit for wei wuxian even in the dream/vision/whatever at the same time as an image of him distracting the wens going after wei wuxian happens in the background and wei wuxian is horrified and mesmerized by it and when he looks back at young jiang cheng it's adult jiang cheng post guanyin who is crying and wei wuxian cant stop himself from saying that it's all in the past and every word is cutting jiang cheng through emotionally and in the dream physically. like as wei wuxian says it jiang cheng is bleeding and wei wuxian is freaking out but the conversation is playing out without him doing anything even as he's trying to stop it but he cant move cant stop saying it last thing he sees before he wakes up is young jiang cheng after wen ning got him out of burned lotus pier with the bloody injuries wei wuxians words gave him in dream guanyin temple standing alone outside of dream guanyin temple as wei wuxian leaves saying theres nothing between them its feels too much but im thinking about it and i cant stop i love this shit i eat it up love me some magical dream symbolism fuckery
2 months ago

source: nottheworstmom on IG

Yeah, these would do numbers at the ren faire. I'm giggling about how her boobs come in like the nose of the star destroyer in A New Hope


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1 year ago

30, 31, 36 for the writing ask game pls!

(also adore your ask box line shsjjdjdjf)

:D thank you for the asks! (And hehehe thank you, when I did my avatar rebrand I thought it was time to update that too)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Ohhh man, haha, this fic has actually been on my mind a lot today, I've explained it to three separate people lmao.

So okay, I have this old WIP from last year. It was going to be the next fic I wrote after my first Jaytim fic, I was going to write it on PURPOSE with a PLOT and PINING and EVERYTHING. The WORKS. It was my first attempt at writing Jason's voice too - he's the POV character - and instead I wrote Hurt/Comfort lmao. This fic was heavily inspired by listening to "This Losing" by the Airborne Toxic Event on repeat during February of 2023, and was going to feature a friends with benefits situationship that quickly spirals into Real Feelings that Jason is having trouble grappling with because he's afraid of scaring Tim with how intensely jealous/possessive he gets. With how much he loves him :')

Eventually I'll write it... someday...

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

Oh, Hurt/Comfort for sure. That fic was SO nerve-wracking because uhhhhh I'd never written BDSM before! Not really! Not a full on, planned out scene! And on top of that, Hurt/Comfort is experimental with it's choose-your-own-adventure style two endings, so once I was done with writing Hurt I had Comfort to write as well, lmao. I'm pleased with it, but in retrospect, imo it's pretty vanilla for what it is (this may be relative lol), and I feel like I've improved as a writer since posting it :)

(I really enjoy writing panic attacks and bad mental spaces tho, and I still really like the small moment in the bathtub when Tim is sucked into his short flashback uwu sorry Tim, but I had to do it to em)

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

In the grand tradition of fic authors everywhere, most of my fic titles are song lyrics or other quotes o7 Usually they're taken from the song I'm listening to the most while writing the fic, and usually I use the lyric I feel best captures either the vibe or a specific beat in the story.

That being said, Sit, Stay, Speak is probably my favorite original title, because it's out of context spoilers for the story as well as a funny dog pun :D Jason is going to sit in Tim's apartment, stay put, and speak to Tim without realizing it; and Tim is going to speak to Jason without actually speaking. His apartment, his life does the talking for him - and Jason hears it. I am genuinely quite proud of Sit, Stay, Speak, every aspect of it was agonized over, but it was worth the effort.


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hi i will be thinking of the wip you described in 30 for a while i don't know your plans but the idea of jason and tim getting into a fwb bc decent looking and dtf and convenient or some other description but can be mostly described as 'we want to have sex and sex with each other sounds good but there's no feelings' and then affection and desire sort of grow and grow and i mean theyre both busy doing things so it makes sense that for instance jason may not be paying attention to the strength intensity and type of feelings he has about tim like yes he thinks about tim and how tim feels and smells and tastes and looks but thats normal with friends/normal for sex partners and then maybe i dunno he sees tim with kon and bart and reacts real strongly to tim being around them because they are such good friends they have such good relationships together and maybe jason knows about how tim went totally off the fucking rails when bart and especially kon died (i do also ship tim and kon so there could be something about how tim has/had a crush on kon or platonic intense love if not shipping. however it goes) and the ferocity and suddenness of jason's animosity towards kon surprises him and takes him off guard because that's HIS - - nope not going there what the fuck? because he probably barely knows the guy since kon wasn't around until jason was dead and also jason has been focused on gotham post reviva so why would he feel particularly strongly about him? maybe jason sees tim with other people and wants to hoard his attention maybe he wants tim to see him and turn away from whoever he was talking to and light up and totally forget about whoever he was with maybe he wants to see marks he put on tim and have everyone know *he* put them there maybe he wants the marks he put on tim covered up so no one knows tim has been fucked and marked and loved and keep that info to themselves maybe jason wants to give tim everything he wants. everything he needs. maybe he wants tim to be okay and jason to be the one to make him o maybe jason wants tim to want him as much as he wants tim
1 month ago
From The Fic The Line Is Covered In Jellyfish By @yunuen
From The Fic The Line Is Covered In Jellyfish By @yunuen

from the fic the line is covered in jellyfish by @yunuen


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1 month ago
Post-canon Jayvik 4/4
Post-canon Jayvik 4/4
Post-canon Jayvik 4/4
Post-canon Jayvik 4/4

Post-canon jayvik 4/4

End of the first part of the story


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staunchen - yeah. 28. idk whats happening
yeah. 28. idk whats happening

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