Okay So I Finished Checking If We Were Friends In Every Universe And, Uh, It Turns Out We're Only Friends

it’s more of a random ass hc, but whatever, i wanna share my shit with you. my one (1) keigo thought is that he overworks himself around the time of the holidays (+ his birthday) cause like almost every other big name pro has a family and keigo’s all like, “nah, you gotta go home to your family, man! i can cover your patrol with no problem!!” since he doesn’t do anything special for the holidays. he wouldn’t want another kid to have to deal with a shitty holiday season all cause their parent wasn’t there

and then gf y/n saves the day and makes crime stop for the holiday season so keigo can rest and have a good holiday for once in his life. trust me, im actually hori

hi so i could've made this a little angsty but rue said she would kill me and publicly humiliate me if i did. so. sweetness of course <3

"hey," your voice startles keigo out of the paperwork he was nose-deep in. his curls hang over his eyes and his eyes are slightly bloodshot. strained and very obviously tired, like he's been trying to keep himself busy with paperwork he should not be doing. you set down the paper cup in your hand next to him on his desk, motioning towards it. "brought you your favorite."

keigo just stares at you. he's not sure what to say. he's not sure if he should say anything. it's the first christmas the two of you have spent together, and he's here at the office, working. he already felt bad about not being with you tonight-- but you had told him you were going to your mother's for the holiday. you had already assured him that it was fine that the two of you didn't spend it together. the two of you were opening gifts as a couple in the morning, that's what you two agreed on.

"baby--"

you don't let him finish. "drink your coffee, hawks."

the office is empty, aside from the two of you. everyone else is home with their families and children, after keigo had offered to stay and finish paperwork for them. he had nothing better to do, he had all night and was going to spend tomorrow with you anyways. he could afford the eyestrain for the night.

the fact that you respected him enough not to use his real name in public sent a small shiver down his spine. "it's just us here, angel."

he watches as you look around, your eyes scanning empty cubicles before leaning your hip into the side of the desk. a sigh leaves your mouth and you lean down to press a tender kiss to his temple. you repeat your earlier statement, "drink your coffee, keigo."

a grin spreads onto his lips and he reaches for the cup. he can feel the warmth through the paper, he catches a whiff before sipping and sighs when the taste of hazelnut and caramel hit his taste buds. he always thanks the heavens that you remembered his usual coffee order so quickly and easily.

"i thought you were with your mom," he says after a moment, setting the cup back down a clearing a spot on his desk. you take it as an invitation to jump up and plant yourself on the corner, like you always do when you come and visit him during the work day.

"i was," you respond. your feet dangle and swing a little, your hand reaches out to brush that one unruly curl of his that never likes to stay in it's spot. "too much whiskey in her eggnog. passed out around 9:30."

keigo snorts. he loves your mother. "so you come to hang out with me?"

"of course," you reply in a slight incredulous tone. "where else would i go?"

keigo takes a good look at you. he's always found you attractive, even more so when dressed up, even in sweats and a ratty old t-shirt of his. you look sweet-- just a basic white sweater and dark jeans, your winter boots knotted twice around the ankles because they're a size too big for you. the bottoms are wet, which must mean it's either snowing, or raining outside. he doesn't need to look towards the window to find out, it doesn't matter to him.

"thank you," he says, after a moment of silence. "for keeping me company, babe."

you lean down to catch his lips lovingly, pulling away only the slightest bit. your nose knocks against his, the taste of his coffee on your lips when you run your tongue along them. "i love you," your murmur. "don't thank me for company i give you willingly."

keigo feels a smile spread onto his lips and he hums appreciatively. "i love you too," he murmurs in response, leaning in for another kiss.

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andy a snippet of pornstar bakugo please i beg

Omg of course!!! I didn't realize how much I missed answering asks for snippets until now. 🥺 Here is a lil teeny one:

“It’s not that!” you said quickly, waving your arms. Your ears burned. “I just mean I would be shy.” Bakugou watched you silently for a long moment, his full mouth pursed in thought. His gaze dragged down your body and then back up to your face, and you felt it like a physical touch.  “Then if you forgot you were on camera?” he asked, a rasp in his tone. You blinked at him dumbly. “If I—forgot?” “If I made you forget,” he said, flashing a sharp smirk.

this is so precious to me

every software is like. your mission-critical app requires you to use the scrimble protocol to squeeb some snorble files for sprongle expressions. do you use:

libsnorble-2-dev, a C library that the author only distributes as source code and therefore must be compiled from source using CMake

Squeeb.js, which sort of has most of the features you want, but requires about a gigabyte of Node dependencies and has only been in development for eight months and has 4.7k open issues on Github

Squeeh.js, a typosquatting trojan that uses your GPU to mine crypto if you install it by mistake

Sprongloxide, a Rust crate beloved by its fanatical userbase, which has been in version 0.9.* for about four years, and is actually just a thin wrapper for libsnorble-2-dev

GNU Scrimble, a GPLv3-licensed command-line tool maintained by the Free Software Foundation, which has over a hundred different flags, and also comes with an integrated Lisp interpreter for scripting, and also a TUI-based Pong implementation as an "easter egg", and also supports CSV, XML, JSON, PDF, XLSX, and even HTML files, but does not actually come with support for squeebing snorble files for ideological reasons. it does have a boomeresque drawing of a grinning meerkat as its logo, though

Microsoft Scrimble Framework Core, a .NET library that has all the features you need and more, but costs $399 anually and comes with a proprietary licensing agreement that grants Microsoft the right to tattoo advertisements on the inside of your eyelids

snorblite, a full-featured Perl module which is entirely developed and maintained by a single guy who is completely insane and constantly makes blog posts about how much he hates the ATF and the "woke mind-virus", but everyone uses it because it has all the features you need and is distributed under the MIT license

Google Squeebular (deprecated since 2017)

Your ex husband bakugo bitches about you constantly, but he once made it across the city in five minutes because he thought you were hurt... and he shovels for you every time it snows.

i hope that in 2025 u get to take more walks, read more books, connect with more people whom u love and who love u, achieve ur goals (even if ur goals are having no goals and just living in the moment), exercise fun hobbies, move from a place of self-direction, and weave together a beguiling assortment of beautiful little moments. remember that no feeling lasts forever. love u

Head to Head.

Partially Deaf Katsuki Headcanon

When you force him to watch your rom-com shows that he doesn't like, he turns his hearing aids down to the lowest possible setting. It's just loud enough for him to hear you if you say something right next to him, but low enough that everything on the TV sounds like mumbles. He’d much rather focus on cuddling, and you begin to think, "Wow, he must actually be starting to like these movies." But in reality, no—he can’t hear a single thing and definitely hasn’t been paying attention to the plot. He’s just content cuddling and staring off into space while spooning you on the couch. He pretends to watch these movies just to make you happy.

keigo's real laugh is nothing, if not music.

there's a front keigo uses when it comes to other people—a barrier he wasn't even aware existed. his faux laugh was easygoing. it was short, and it was charming. he used it whenever he was talking to the higher ups or his colleagues. hell, he used it when he spoke to anyone. he's never been able to share the intimacy of a real laugh with another person before.

secretly, he was envious of those strangers he'd hear every once in a while. whether it was on patrol, or if he was just strolling into a coffee shop—ordinary citizens, people, humans, we're always laughing around him.

it could be huffs of air, odd squeaks or giggles—people with heaving chests, people chuckling, people snorting, people wheezing—but keigo knew a real laugh when he heard one.

which was odd, because he hadn't heard his own real laugh until you.

you're tucked into keigo's side, half awake and half asleep as you stumble forward. your eyes are barely open—and you're so drunk that keigo can already imagine the headache his poor baby is going to have tommorrow morning

"c'mon songbird, up up up."

he takes off your clothes and makeup, changing you quickly into your nightgown as you talk. you babble on about anything and everything that comes to your mind as he works—keigo kneels in front of you, smiling softly as he slowly unravels your dress and takes off your silvery shiny heels—he pulls on your nightdress, and grabs your favorite fluffy socks before tugging them up and over your feet

"kei baby," you whisper, and he glances up at you as he finishes taking off the last bit of your jewelery. he places your earrings into the little gold box you have on his desk as his warm hands wrap around your waist. he hums quietly as you suddenly place your palms flat on his chest, shoving him

he falls onto the bed with a soft oof! before sending you a confused smile

"shh...let me think, kei."

keigo folds his legs, amusement shining bright in his eyes as he watches you. your hair falls from its updo in wisps, framing your face as you stand in deep thought near the edge of your shared bed—hand on your jaw as you tilt your head

your smirk forms slowly. it's small, sly, silly and so drunk as you suddenly kneel onto the bed. you crawl towards keigo and fasten your knees on both sides of his hips—straddling him as he blinks up in surprise, not expecting your warm mouth to begin trailing kisses up his neck

sexy, is all keigo can think as a soft sigh escapes his lips. he's just about to kiss you back—when suddenly, you speak up.

"are you my appendix? because i have this funny feeling riiiight here that makes me feel like i should take you out." you whisper seductively, gliding his palm towards your tummy and under your nightgown

keigo blinks once. twice. before he stutters with his response. he tries to form even just one word—but he can't. and suddenly, he's falling apart—he's laughing so hard that he can't fucking breathe.

you blink in response, tilting your head adorably in confusion. you thought that was a good pick up line! but keigo's face is flushed for an entirely different reason other than being flustered, and his lips are stretched into a toothy grin. you're concerned for the lack of oxygen in his lungs when he's suddenly wheezing, and god, his eyes are shining with tears.

"oh-oh baby, i fucking love you."

you're slapping his arm, whining on about how he ruined the moment. but your tone—your very serious face while uttering the absolute worst pick up line keigo has ever heard has him struggling to breathe in his fits of laughter

but you can't even try to be mad. because keigo's eyes are crinkling with a rare show of genuine joy, and his hands are pressing you to his chest, and this laugh is so authentic—it bubbles all the way from his belly, so silly and so full of emotion that you can't help but giggle along with him

"it was good, right? are you feeling—heh, turned on?"

keigo's smile is breath taking. no wonder he's on so many magazine covers every month. finally—he leans forward, pressing his warm mouth against yours in a soft kiss as he cradles your face with both of his palms

"yeah, baby. never felt more hot and bothered... you know, 'm gonna marry you one of these days." he murmurs against your lips as you squirm in his lap

"nuh uh. who said i'll say yes?"

he laughs again. it's softer this time, and he maneuvers you carefully back into bed. you look like an angry kitten when you glare at him, but he only grins in response as he tucks you in—tugging the soft comforter up and over your body before getting into bed himself. he pulls you on top of him, gliding his hand up the back of your thigh all the way up until he's at the base of your spine

"you make me very happy, ya'know that songbird?"

you hum in reply, eyes already drooping close as your hold on keigo tightens just the slightest bit. his wings naturally fold to wrap around you—cocooning you in his hold.

he can see you're too tired to respond, your eyes are already slipping close when he presses a kiss onto your forehead

he admires you quietly, thanking the cosmos for allowing him to have this one good thing in life. you're drooling all over his shirt, and keigo wouldn't ever wish to have someone else laying beside him at night.

shouto likes bottoming so much he’ll make you stretch him out with two in the same hole on the weekends your both not busy so he can make the most time of it. likes how full it feels. doesn’t even ask to be fucked hard just likes grinding like that