Stresseddepressedlemonzestsblog - Untitled

Okay my ass passed tf out post game. But I just woke up again and can’t NOT put my lukewarm takes on the Internet.

USWNT v SWEDEN

Alyssa - did what she could? I’m sure she expected plenty of shots on goal because Sweden has proven to always be a solid opponent but I don’t think she was ready to be called upon all game. But there wasn’t a time where I was like ‘dang, maybe if Alyssa was a better keeper, we wouldn’t be down’. She was fine.

Becky - I find her hard pressed to say anyone did well, but all things considered, Becky was okay. She was carrying the ball forward more than usual, seemingly holding onto it a bit too long sometimes. But no one was really open for her, so what tf was she supposed to do.

Crystal - thank sweet baby Jesus for her recovery runs and slide tackles. I would not like to know what a score line would be without them. She unfortunately was super overloaded which caused a lot of uncharacteristic giveaway passes in dangerous spots. To her credit, she showed a lot of creativity breaking out of the three players that seemed to close in on her. But our midfield and forwards really hung her out to dry not offering outlets for her to pass to.

Abby - this was a tough game for Abby. She was getting caught on the outside shoulder instead of covering inside and allowed the center backs to be split on numerous occasions. She did have a few of her typical nice diagonal long balls. But really seemed frantic and was beat to the ball in the box on the goals.

Kelley - in the same camp as Becky. Of nothing detrimental. But nothing incredible. She wasn’t given the same amount of pressure as Crystal which made things better. But her passes could have been cleaner, crosses could have been more direct.

Tierna - things were pretty dismal by the time she came in. She did decent for the time left though. Not sure it would have helped anything but her height definitely could have beneficial to us as a center back earlier in the game.

Lindsey - not her day as the 6. She managed it well through the summer series and send off games, but Sweden is so different than the teams they played. She got lost. She was so needed to be Crystals outlet and to be that person that helped move the ball from side to side to break Sweden down. She was almost timid, it was weird. She started doing a bit better when she was back in her normal position. But the team was already back on their heels at that point so it didn’t help.

Rose - well god dammit. Rose was out there trying! It wasn’t working, but you could tell that she was not having it and was trying to make something happen. She was key in the passing combos the US managed to string together. Most glimmers of good came with her involvement. She still fell victim to holding the ball too long and passing directly to Sweden but I did appreciate her effort!

Sam - oh goodness, poor Sammy Bananas. This was not her game. She seemed like she was hiding behind Swedish players. She wasn’t open for anyone to pass to. And when she had the ball, more often than not, she was passing it to Sweden. It was hard to watch after she’s been playing so well. I will give a small positive that on a couple plays, she found her stride and did what she does best, driving the ball up centrally, pulling defenders, and passing out wide for a cross in. She needed off at half though, glad Vlatko pulled her.

Julie - well shit balls I really wish she was 100%. Her being in wasn’t a game changer. I mean, duh they still scored twice in the second half. But there were moments I was like, oh yeah. That’s what it’s like to have Julie Ertz playing the 6. That’s nice. She is far from full game fit though, and you could tell she’s nervous going 150% into hard tackles. And with being out for all the buildup games, her chemistry with everyone is a little off.

Kristie - she wasn’t in long. But she’s was running her butt off. Like Tierna, it’s not like she could do much to help. She didn’t do anything to hurt though. Her energy was good to see, who knows if her coming in earlier could have sparked something. (Probably not but it’s fun to dream)

Alex - welp. She was in there. Few decent runs into the box. Was there for the header off Christen’s beautiful first half cross. But very lost, not connecting, I had no issue with. Vlatko pulling her at half for Carli.

Tobin - after the excitement of her return in the Mexico games, it sucked to see her like this. To her credit, she was all over the damn pitch trying to make things happen. But in doing so, was out of position which didn’t make switching the field easier. Sweden had to time for her foot skills and just bodied her off of things. She had some of our most promising offensive plays though. And history has proven that pissing Tobin off means she is going to pop off. Waiting for that!

Christen - the goal post is not her friend. So rude. She also gave us some of our closest goal opportunities. But dang. She needed to be helping Crystal on defense big time. And she needed to provide a better outlet pass and not just the option of a ball over the top. I honestly forgot she was out there sometimes which was uncharacteristic.

Carli - I was actually happy to see her come in. But she couldn’t break the funk the team was in. I’m sure a game like this will make her work harder, so maybe that’s good. I don’t know.

Pinoe - came in with a little spark. She was a positive sub. But we were such a mess at that point it didn’t do much. I wish she was full ninety fit, we needed her chaos.

All in all. We all watched the mess. We know. They were outplayed. Sweden is fucking GOOD. We just played them, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, it shouldn’t have been. Maybe it’s the Sweden Olympic curse. Maybe it’s because the USWNT has been go go go all year and has run themselves a little ragged with the camps and friendlies along with NWSL. Doesn’t matter. They knew the Olympics were coming. They weren’t good enough and I hope they turn it around.

Hopefully next game we can remember what jerseys we’re wearing so we can pass to the right team and everyone gets a good night sleep so we can LOOK ALIVE OUT THERE.

“I don’t think I wanna do that.” “Why? Are you scared of what she‘d look like? She’s just a corpse with worms for eyes, no different than when she was alive.”

We need to talk about Vlatko…

i get players taking personal responsibility for the loss and being expected to be good enough to adapt to a coach and bring their a game…but i really feel like a lot of this tournament was a huge failure on vlatko’s part to adapt to the team and bring out the best in them and what they were capable of at the time. it’s the coach’s JOB to understand their team and understand how to bring out the best in them and adapt. to understand what their weakness are and to play to their strengths instead. asking an entire team to adapt to your vision and ideas is WAY harder than choosing to step back as a coach and being willing to put your own ego and ideas aside in order to adapt to the team and how the players are actually capable of playing. and i do believe him being so data driven and not allowing players to build chemistry with more consistent line ups again was on HIM and a big reason why players didn’t feel joy.

you don’t create magic and joy out of data and ignoring your team’s capabilities and strengths, or their weaknesses.

Paige Bueckers aka president of the Azzi Fudd fan club

oh my 🥹

My piece for the Supercorp Zine vol 4 @supercorpzine

this was an incredible experience, thank you to all the wonderful mods and this loving fandom for all your support❤️💙

Camila: *walking around in rage talking loudly to herself while cursing in spanish and taking down every training dummy in sight*

Mother Superion: What happened to Camila?

Yasmine: I just told her I saw Ava and Beatrice kissing.

Mother Superion: *stares at Camila* Well, I'm gonna talk to her, she should know that in the OCS we do not judge love, in fact, we believe that love is...

Yasmine: Oh, no, no, she's not homophobic, she's just upset she wasn't there.

Camila: I CALLED IT FROM DAY ONE! I HAD TO WITNESS THESE FOOLS BEING USELESS IN LOVE FOR EACH OTHER FOR MONTHS! MONTHS! AND YASMINE IS THE ONE THERE FOR THEIR FIRST KISS? NO ES JUSTO! MIERDA! *takes down training dummy with one punch then makes the sign of the cross*

a comic about meeting your younger self :)

Thank you for reading :)