STOP ASIAN HATE

made his tupper pfp

Oh no I like bsd

 Quitting.

____________

Lotte sat on the bed, Dazai sitting up. He leaned on the bed frame, grabbing the whiskey from the bedside table. The sunset bled on the sheets, pure of any stain. The stubs of a cigarette fell and sizzled onto it. The bedsheet had now learnt impurity, the ashes making the delicate fabric curdle.

The glass clinked as it was solemnly lain on the table, the glass distorting the ugly brown.

 “There’s something funny about me, “ He began, tilting his head back as he looked at Lotte. Her thin dress strap fell off her shoulder as she patiently waited for him to finish, her cigarette amber at the tip.

 “I don’t actually like whiskey. “

She stared at him blankly, no distinct change in her face. “Then why do you drink it?”

 He sighed and looked to the window.

 “Isn’t better to taste something than nothing?“

 “No,“ She puffed out, “You'll lose your sense of taste with meaningless drinks.”

“Then why do you smoke?“  He leaned his cheek on his hand, watching the sun turn her dark eyes a luminated shade of orange, a pit in the middle.

 “Because I feel less stressed.”

They looked at each other for a moment. A lock from the hairs of time had fallen, chopped with the scissors of misery.

She took the glass and squashed the cigarette into it, letting it hiss until it burnt out.

 “I'm quitting today.“ 

He fell silent, watching the soggy cigarette butt fold in the cup.

 “I'm sure healthy lungs will look cute on you. “

____

Confessions Of Memories. |• 2.

1. | 2. | 3. | 4. | 5. | 6. | 7. | 8.

The night had drooled over the residue of day, leaving them to head there themselves. Xiao paced ahead, leaving the Traveller and Li Jing in his dust. A dull ache rested in her chest from seeing only the back of him.

The flowers bloomed before them, as she gently clutched his hand. He stood stifly next to her, as she scanned the garden for a specific flower. Her hand slipped out of his own, as she sat amongst them. Her hands fumbled with the flower stems, until she reappeared.

"Kneel."

He didn't need to hesitate. Buckled down to one knee and she rested the flower crown on his head. The white petals frittered amongst his dark hair. She kneeled down to his level, smiling at him. He intertwined their hands, leaning in.

Yet it wasn't summer.

It was the cold of night, and her shoulder was throbbing with the pain of a bag weighed with books and scrolls alike.

Her lips twinged with yearning. Her eyes fell to ground, the small hope she once held diminished with a simple memory that lay in their restless wake.

"How'd you know Xiao?"

She looked over to the curious Traveller, burdened with their own weight. She squeezed a smile on her face, looking at the back of Xiao's head. Li Jing exhaled.

"We've known each other for a while."

The Traveller nodded their head sympathetically.

Xiao looked to the ground, his jaw tensed.

He wanted to stay. Anything to erase the lonely century he had spent. There was something that made her immovable in his memory. The seasons could blur, but he could remember her. How her face curved, how her gums would show when he tried to be humorous.

Only to lose her.

Wangshu Inn stood bright in the fog, as they hurried in.

They dispersed to their rooms, leaving the soft patter of rain to calm the souls that rested inside.

Her head sunk into the pillow, leaving her to sit vacantly.

A small wheezing came from his lungs, resting in her arms. His mellow smile faded with the words she couldn't hear. The suns in his eyes set, as the snow fell on his sorrowful sight.

Another body lay on their stomach, their death quiet. Her hair brown and dampened by the snow. A hand rested on her shoulder, patting her with a lack of affection. She looked to her blank face, her arms muddy with red.

Her m-

She gasped awake, clutched her bedsheets as her skin shedded thick bullets of sweat. Her heart throbbed, jolting her ribs.

Is this the curse of being immortal?

To ache?

She gingerly placed her feet down on the carpet, throwing on a robe. She creaked across the hallway, exhaling as she got to the balcony.

The small click of metal startled her.

His eyes clicked with his own. Xiao's eyebrows furrowed. He looked away. Xiao looked out to the town below, the rain twinkled like stars. If she left now, it would only emphasize the damage. If she stayed, she'd have to endure the silence she had placed there.

"Did you cry?" He pondered.

She glanced at him.

"Your eyes - they're puffy."

She hummed softly, barely audible.

"I just had a nightmare, that's all."

They stood quietly, their hands brushing against each others.

He tried. He really did. But, her eyes held a heartbreak that was unfixable. His body was full of ache. He ached before he met her. He used to be the love of her life. It was clear he didn't deserve to be. Thousands of deaths that clinged to him was dragging him with them.

Is this retribution?

"Jiji, you should get some rest."

He looked over to her limp state. He sighed, scooping her up in his arms. He sat by her side, unravelling her bun. Her hair sprawled around the bed, wisps covering her face. The cold air seeped into his lungs, and he couldn't help but sleep.

-

Dawn came and the only evidence of him being there was his soft, mild scent. She stayed there quietly, inhaling her pillow. She separated herself from her bed, and eventually sat with the two. The Traveller tried to read her inscribed scrolls, their face pruning with wrinkles. She chuckled nervously, tapping her cheek.

"It's illegible, isn't it?"

The Traveller quickly dismissed her words, excuses being mounted into a mess. Xiao sighed, drawing them back to silence. His eyes were averted, looking over her sprawled scrolls.

"The book has been around for a long time, and should've probably be burnt by fire." Li Jing pondered, squeezing her notes into a small handheld notebook.

"So the book is protected?"

She nodded, avoiding looking up.

"Luckily I had a lead before we left. An old lady I know has links to a man who has the family archive of these books."

"Is that the Mei you were referring to?"

Li Jing was quiet, the restless noise of other customers filling the void. Her pen harshly drilled through the crisp page.

How could she respond? If she told them now, they wouldn't be able to get the letters, and she'd be a failure and looked down on with disdain. If anyone found out about her she'd be a disappointment to her mother.

She didn't want to disappoint her mother.

"Jiji?"

Her mother trusted her.

"Li Jing."

She trusted her.

Oh, she couldn't. If anyone found out she was cu-

"Li Jing!" Xiao snapped.

She looked at him, quiet with embarrassment. The table sat uncomfortably between them, until she chuckled lightly.

"Sorry, I live in my head too much- anyways, the shortcut will save us some time. We don't have to walk too far at all." She dismissed herself from the table.

The Traveller looked to Xiao, their eyes bleeding with confusion. Xiao looked at him, exhaling softly.

"Mei...That name is important to her. I'd advise you to stop saying it so much."

The Traveller nodded to themself, flustered with the oblivious mistake.

Mei,

Is she dead?

-

Ohmyg OHMYG the blending and hair lighting 😭🫶🏾

RAMUDA

DAMN IM BACK LIKE KINDA ILL PROBS GO DEAD AGAIN AFTER THIS but i tried watercolors with ramu and im crying it turned out so good GRRRR folo4mor like damn im so good

my commissions are closed but i'm selling those mfs for 40€ to practice dm if interesteeddd i can also ship them to you :3 another exampl under the cut that was actually commissioned afghds ok bye

also since i've been like super dead i'd appreciate reblogging for a little boost so i dont flop hard msjfsd thank you

👀????

Maki Hanajima reference sheet

New Harukawa illustration, which will be fetured on next month's Young Ace cover

Personally, I think this song fits Dazai

The title translates to 'Tefu tefu', a sort of outdated way for saying 'butterfly'.

+ Obligatory Manga Screenshot

The Lyrics.

No Longer Human & BSD's Dazai Osamu: An (incredibly sloppy) Analysis

Please let me know if this needs TWs :)

Again, this is sloppy. I'll clean it up when I do another analysis, but I think it's alright, but it's not supposed to be academic -- it's just for fun! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

If you want something to listen to whilst reading this:

Valentine's Chocolate Bars ♡