I Have 2 Count Em TWO Finished Requests In My Drafts Rn Omggg But Im Gonna Wait To Post Them For Maybe

boop bc ur dazai dishwashing fic just made my morning <3 🐾

AWW THANKS im glad you liked it!!!!

haii deer i hope you are able to get all your assignments done on time! was reading your tags and aro dazai?? big brain.

so how about aro ace darling? never been in a relationship and never really want to, their friends are more than enough for them !! honestly i just wanna be aro buddies with dazai 🥹

but damn just being weirdo coworkers together, im,,, willing to look past many red flags for him 💔

YOURE JUST LIKE ME FR dazai and i are best friends and we are aro you can ask him yourself also weirdo coworkers.. you get it

"Oh, wait, so you were the latest person hired?" Atsushi's head cocked to the side, looking at you with curiosity. "How long have you been here?"

"My dear here has been with the agency for three months! You know, I was the one that brought them on board," Dazai gloated, a smug smirk on his face and a dramatic hand over his heart.

You were quick to play along, throwing a dramatic hand over your forehead as you leaned back. "Oh, my hero! What would I do without my lovely Dazai?" The sarcastic lilt in your tone didn't go unnoticed by the newest agency member, but he decided not to comment on it.

"Was it like what happened with me? Did you find Dazai drowning?" Apparently a common occurrence, Atsushi had pieced together.

Dazai denied, a smile on his face as he replied with a simple, "Nope!" A few moments of silence passed before the junior realized he wasn't going to elaborate.

Just as he opened his mouth to ask for more information, you decided to take pity on the poor soul and fill him in. "I bailed him out of a holding cell."

No one bat an eye. Atsushi looked around the office, trying to see if maybe someone was holding back laughter, but not a single one of his new coworkers were phased. Did they not hear what you said?

"He got detained for public disturbance in the middle of a case. I told Dazai he'd have to find a way to get out on his own, and he shows back up not even thirty minutes later with them in tow," Kunikida explains, frustration evident in his voice. "I was trying to teach him a lesson."

"I was in the area," you shrug.

"Yeah, being detained as well..."

"I was being released from detainment, actually!" You correct Kunikida, a proud grin on your face. "And Dazai said I should follow him, so I did."

Atsushi laughed awkwardly. He knew you seemed similar to Dazai in your hedonistic pursuits, but this was baffling. "And the president hired you?"

"I had an entrance exam, but pretty much! I had just been fired from my old job the day before so Dazai helped me get set up here. And before you ask: I was fired because I told the boss' kid I wouldn't date him. He got all upset and told daddy to can me," you huff in frustration, still annoyed at your wrongful termination.

Kunikida rolled his eyes. "Don't act like some martyr; You also deserved to be fired. You just messed around on the job like you do here. You barely got any work done."

"You want me so badly it makes you look stupid—"

"I told them to sue and say it's discrimination because they're aro," Dazai cut you off, a pout on his lips like he's annoyed you didn't take his advice.

"What's... arrow?" Atsushi cocked his head to the side. He was unaware of the terminology, having never come across it in this context during his studies at the orphanage.

"Oh, it's shorthand for aromantic. It just means, like, experiencing little to no romantic attraction to anyone. It varies, of course..." You try to explain simply.

Atsushi nods, understanding the basic idea. "But it'd be wrong to lie about your sexuality, right?"

"I'm aro, actually," you shrug. Everyone at the agency is well aware, so Atsushi will likely find out eventually.

"Oh!" The younger employee's cheeks turn pink, feeling a little sheepish for assuming. A moment passes as Atsushi thinks before furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you and Dazai..?"

"We're both aromantic," Dazai rests his chin on his hand, elbow on his desk and an amused smirk pulling at his lips. "I've dated a lot in the past, but I realized it's just not for me."

"I've never been in a relationship and never want to," you add in yourself. "Aromanticism is... much more complex than how I explained it. Dazai feels romantic attraction, but doesn't— Is it fine if I tell him this?" You suddenly ask, realizing it really isn't your place to speak on his experience, even as his best friend.

"Oh, I don't care. Saves me the trouble," Dazai waves his hand dismissively. "But yeah, I feel romantic attraction, but lose it when it's reciprocated."

Atsushi nods slowly, beginning to understand. "Oh, okay. So you two are just close friends, then."

"Are we just not going to ask what you were doing in a holding cell when Dazai got thrown in?" Tanizaki asks from his desk.

"I just got too silly, you know how it is."

hiii stuffeddeerers :) i got smth queued up for tmr but this is an UPDATE POST!!!! im reaching my final two or three weeks of this semester and will likely be drowning in work! i have one other rq finished that i'll post later, but outside of that i might be mia for a bit :))) ill still read whatever gets sent to my inbox tho bc i cant stay away from yall for long ❤️ (flirting)

You're oblivious and Jinshi's an idiot | The Apothecary Diaries | Jinshi x reader

cw - gn but you're in the rear palace and maidservant is used a few times in reference to you and your job, brief mention of nail picking

You calmly sit beside the purple haired eunuch, feeling a little anxious at placing yourself in such a position. Sitting beside someone of higher rank is criminal, so nonchalantly taking up the same space as they are. Anxiously tapping your fingers against your thighs, hands resting politely in your lap and head turned down, you await his next words.

"You won't turn to me?" He seems slightly teasing, but you're too nervous to check.

Jinshi rests his elbow on top of the no doubt expensive wooden table, chin pillowed by his palm and keeping his head up. His second arm moves forward, hand lifting close to you. With careful movements, Jinshi's pointer finger brushes back a strand of loose hair, finger pad trailing down your jaw until it stops on your chin.

Still, you say nothing, body still and turned down. His pointer finger curls as it slides below your chin, pulling you to the side to look at him. An amused smile is on his lips - he was definitely teasing a moment ago - and a glimmer of affection softens his eyes. "You agreed to dinner, did you not?" He leans toward you ever so slightly, a barely imperceptible change.

"Yes, Master Jinshi," you reply obediently. Perhaps Maomao was busy with lady-in-waiting duties, you had originally thought, assuming that you were called in as a poison taster.

The lean toward you is much more apparent this time, Jinshi letting out a sigh just before doing it. He's a mere few inches from your shoulder, hand dropping from your face to grip the edge of your chair closest to him. "Then I don't understand why you seem so reserved. You're usually much more open and energetic with me."

Your lips part, about to reply with the first thought on your mind, before quickly closing your mouth. One, two, three seconds pass as you think of how to traverse the situation you've found yourself in.

"My apologies, sir,” you choose to reply, “I shouldn't have behaved so inappropriately before.” Each word is chosen with intention as you reply steadily. Is that why you've been called here? For your lax behavior around the rear palace manager?

Yes, you weren't great at maintaining a professional facade while with Jinshi. He could be childish and annoying, that's true, but more than anything you just enjoyed playing with his self-assured and flirtatious persona whenever possible. Light teasing tended to leave him speechless and you adored watching the gears turn in his brain. With certainty, you can say you’re the only maidservant to ever give back the same energy he put out.

Jinshi pulls back, staring at you with a frown as he sits properly in his seat. "That's not what you were going to say."

"No," you agree.

The frown turns to a more pronounced pout, bottom lip jutting out and eyes narrowing. He's acting childish again, something that usually makes you smile (knowing you’ve successfully pushed his buttons) but only serves to make you more nervous as you anxiously pinch the fabric of your attire between your fingers. It's a nervous habit you picked up after trying to stop yourself from picking at your fingernails, each of which are low and choppy even if you've been quite a few months free of the practice.

"What had you wanted to say?" He implores. It's cute, honestly - watching Jinshi stare at you so pleadingly as he tries to keep his voice steady. You glance around, wondering where Gaoshun has been this whole time.

"I want for nothing, Master," you reply uncharacteristically of yourself, the words sounding rehearsed even though you hadn't been expecting this exchange at all.

Join me for dinner, he'd ordered curtly. No other information, merely requesting your presence for the night before leaving. He'd seemed to be in a rush, slightly flustered as he disappeared - likely late for some work he was most assuredly pushing off at the time. You barely finished nodding before he fled the parlor you'd met him in.

"What if I ordered you to tell me?"

"Will you?"

Of course not, Jinshi wants to say, the thought manifesting as a solemn sigh as he looks away. His eyes focus on the large wooden doors ahead, hands tugging at the ends of his hair as he tries to understand where he went wrong. There was no bad blood between you two he had believed - no arguments or chastising or even the slightest criticism or critique.

“Do you even have to ask?" He ends up murmuring lowly. The purple haired man blinks slowly a few times before hearing you sigh to his right. Creaks fill the room as you undoubtedly reposition yourself on the chair he'd pulled over for you to sit in, the sound followed by you clearing your throat.

"What was it you had said? I'm normally more open with you? I was merely going to point out that I'm not normally sitting or standing so closely,” you decide to answer. "I'm never right beside you like this. Our current position only serves to remind me of my rank and where I stand in comparison. I have no right to be here; It's not right for me to be at the same side of the table as you. To be called here for business and then disrespect— "

"Business?" Jinshi cuts you off, eyebrows furrowing as he turns to you with a sincere frown. "Is that why you think I called you here?"

Nervousness shoots up your spine and crawls around your skin as you suddenly feel ruffled. Being made to look a fool isn't something you're unacquainted with being a maidservant, but for some reason, being doled out the same treatment by Jinshi specifically left you feeling embarrassed and flustered. You try to wrack your brain for not only a proper response, but a smart or witty one - yet nothing comes to mind. Without thinking, your fingers come together as you begin picking at the edges of your fingernails. Your sharp tongue has turned limp, feeling heavy in your mouth as you struggle to reply.

It seemed like all Jinshi could do now was frown, the slight flicker of his lips further down causing your breath to hitch. "I'm sorry. It seems I hadn't made my intentions clear," Jinshi pinches the bridge of his nose, feeling annoyed with himself more than anything.

Your sandbag tongue pushes your jaw down, mouth parting as you're about to tell him it's fine - even though you still aren't sure what's happening. Before you can, Jinshi continues: "How would you suggest I ask for someone's hand? I had thought my courting was obvious prior, but now I'm not so sure..."

Courting? In what world had the beautiful eunuch, heartthrob of the rear palace, been courting anyone let alone you? Dozens of admirers, even ones sworn to the emperor, had been clawing each other left and right for a sprinkle of his attention. You'd been able to cozy up to his side as a friend and useful asset inside the rear palace walls, but you never expressed the same adoration and devotion that other palace residents have.

At risk of sounding a little self-centered, you just need to clarify, "You don't mean my hand, surely..?"

Jinshi looks appalled, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Have I been that inconspicuous with my courting? I could've sworn the whole inner court could tell!" He lets out a groan, face falling onto the table in front of him. A loud bang sounds as his forehead lands on the wood harshly.

Have you been that obtuse? Combing through your mind, you recall each time you'd seen Jinshi while out and about, trying to discern if he'd honestly been too discreet or if you'd just managed to write it off. And... nothing comes to mind. Gaoshun had shown more interest in you than Jinshi had, the former always checking up on you and making sure you were alright. His presence held that of a father figure.

Speaking of, where had he run off to? It's rare for you to be completely alone with Jinshi, today marking the first of this occasion. And based on how this is turning out, likely the last as well.

Jinshi flops his head to the side, gazing up at you from the table. "Gaoshun said you took to the gifts I had him deliver," he says childishly, voice soft through his pursed lips as he pouts. "I tried not to express favoritism, as I know you don't enjoy attention from the other maidservants and the court ladies with their needless prying, so I had him drop off small snacks in my stead."

A glimmer shines in your eyes as it finally clicks together. Gaoshun had always been so discreet passing you small snacks every few days. You honestly hadn't thought too much of it outside of thanking him gently, having assumed the older man merely feared for your health on hotter days. It's likely he mentioned at some point that they're from Jinshi and you had simply missed it. Or maybe you were expected to just know..?

Jinshi grumbles, a low hum sounding more like a whine than a groan, before he sits upright in his chair once again. "So, do you not like me?" He asks timidly.

"No," you reply easily. His face falls at this, causing you to backtrack. "I-I mean no I do not not like you. I'm- I'm saying I like you!.. I mean, we're friends, right?"

He pouts childishly, turning away from you with a hmph! "You know that's not what I mean!" The purple haired man's arms are crossed and nose stuck up, body language as dramatic as can be.

Of course you know what he means, yet you can't help but feel unsure anyway. There's no way the Jinshi likes you - a simple laundry attendant who picks on him sometimes. Many girls throw themselves at his feet, so why would he settle for you?

"I think I'm just a little confused," you carefully pick your words. Besides, he's your employer; Is it wise for you to encourage his delusions? There's no way the two of you could have an actual relationship. "You seem to be implying you like me, and I'm unsure if that's your intention." Once more, you shift anxiously in your seat.

The eunuch groans loudly, clearly frustrated with your incessant dismissal of his feelings. "That is my intention, yes. You're welcome to say you don't feel the same, if that's how you feel. However, I'd still like the chance to court you and try to change your mind, if you're comfortable with it."

Flustered and overwhelmed, you shake your head. "Is this appropriate? Can someone in your position court a person so drastically beneath them? What if I fall out of line, wouldn't you still have to correct me?"

A smile tugs at Jinshi's lips for a mere moment before he turns away. "I'm not courting you as the manager of the rear palace. I'd like to court you as a friend, someone you've spent time with absent of titles. I'm not your immediate superior, anyway - those directly above you can issue orders as they see fit, though you've never been the type to step out of line. And, we both know you have only a few months left on your contract. I'm hoping to pin you down before you leave the palace and another man gets to you first."

Now it's your turn to pout, your own lips pursed and eyes narrow as you stare at him. "You enjoy making things difficult," you start. “I can't believe you're doing all this to me. On top of that, you of all people know I do enjoy testing these metaphorical lines,” the last sentence punctuated with a huff.

It's true; that's how Jinshi grew to enjoy your presence. During his time knowing you, you had never been afraid to give back the same energy you received, playing along with Jinshi regardless of positions. However, you've always had a keen sense for what is or isn't allowed around whom - knowing to act like the perfect maidservant around the eunuchs directly responsible for your field of servitude, but understanding even without much prior knowledge that Jinshi is the type to let you get away with a little more.

"Then let's test this one. Let's see if we can push the 'metaphorical line' of our relationship, from professional to romantic," Jinshi's eyes glimmer with hope, a confident grin on his face at what he deemed a perfect segue.

After an annoyed grumble full of incoherent words under your breath, you turn to him with an exasperated sigh. "Fine. I'll allow you to court me - or continue to, rather - during these few months. And once I've fulfilled my contract and am able to return home, we can discuss the idea of potentially changing the status of our relationship."

As you spoke, Jinshi couldn't stop himself from bouncing ever so slightly up and down on his seat, excited beyond all measure. His hand reaches out to you and you flinch, pulling back before he can.

"And only then, Master Jinshi," you add.

He can't even find it in him to be sad, too excited that you've promised him a chance. “Yes, perfect, it’s a deal. Easiest deal I've made in my life. Could I get it in writing?" He begins to ramble on, allowing you to zone out and watch for a moment.

In an attempt to shut him up, you hold out your hand and place it over his mouth. Jinshi has never portrayed himself as someone who detests his own voice, but this was more than you'd ever heard from the man. With a gentle grip, he peels your hand from his mouth via your wrist, holding it tenderly for a moment before placing the tiniest kiss to the skin. Feeling flushed and mind short circuiting, you find yourself frozen in your seat once again. Did he just..?

The large wooden doors suddenly open, Gaoshun finally appearing. He's standing behind Suiren, the two both holding trays containing food. You can barely think, lips parting as you try to come up with a response. Right, you need to—

With Jinshi's hold on your hand, you can't quite hide your face with your sleeves as is custom, instead forced to sit awkwardly with your head bowed as he holds your palm near his face. Does this man know no shame? Your one sleeve is nervously covering the bottom half of your face, hoping for a shred of decency, while Jinshi casually chats with the two as though nothing had happened, is happening. Of course, Suiren and Gaoshun know better than to ask why.

Without a word from you, the two slip out of the office once again, leaving you alone with Jinshi. Your head finally lifts up, noticing the dish in front of the two of you as Jinshi gently drops your hand.

"Like it? Gaoshun had mentioned you'd been particularly happy when he dropped this off to you. I figured that must make it your favorite."

And he's right. You stare down at your favorite meal; The last time you'd gotten a taste was when Gaoshun had secretly passed you a few bites what was now a few weeks ago.

With a small smile, you turn to look at Jinshi. "It is. Thank you."

hello deery, back like i promised lmao

as much as i love silly goofy buddy dazai, deluded possessive and lowkey scary dazai is my fav 🙏 he's such a silly guy with reader, then turns right around and destroys their entire life. then hes like :O omg thats so horrible, so what im hearing is you have more time to spend with me? seeing as all your friends left for reasons unknown, your family wont even look at you. but dw, i'll never leave :)

BWHAHA im not good at this stuff, but your characterization of dazai is my fav in general, such versatility, we love to see it

have a great day :D

-🩵 anon

HES MY least FAVE TOO ugh 🩵anon you get me

“I’m sorry, lovely. That’s so horrible…” Dazai’s knuckles softly rub against your jaw, his skin soothing you as you try to halt your tears.

“It just— ” you hiccup, “ —just feels like everyone’s leaving me!”

The brunet pulls you closer, practically sitting in his lap as his hands move around your torso. “Shh, shh…” He gently wipes away your remaining tears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle before nodding. “You’re the only one. Not even my boss wanted me around, I can tell. It’s like she was waiting for me to mess up so she could fire me.”

“That’s not true…”

“How would you know?” The words were genuine, like you were looking for him to explain that it was the work of fate or your shitty coworker you always complained about.

Well, it's because Dazai was the one to get you fired. Your boss was too fond of you, something he simply couldn't have. Plus, work hours always took up your time, time that should be spent with him. Honestly, you didn't need a job, anyway: Dazai would be happy to provide for you and make you dependent on him.

Instead of explaining any of this, he pressed another kiss to your head before pulling you in for a tight hug. “You’re a hard worker. And you’re a wonderful person. If none of your friends want to be in your life, well, I do. So I guess you’ll just have to spend time with me.”

It’s his attempt at lightening the mood, you’re sure of it. A chuckle passes your lips before you can stop it, shifting in his hold so you can hug him back just as tightly. “You’re all I have, so now you’re stuck with me.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

oh he’s the worst i need him

he’ll cradle you so sweetly, telling you alllll the good things about yourself!!!

n when you get all confident and hey! maybe you are good enough, maybe you should look into making new friends! ones that won’t leave you so easily 🙄

well,

he’s there to remind you just how heartbroken your last ones left you. your very own flesh and blood cut you out so easily! maybe dazai is the only one who can truly love you for who you are.

he’s not saying it to be mean! he just wants you to know what you’re getting yourself into. he’s always been so smart, too…. well, you guess he’s right.

if you’re a bit more stubborn or masochistic, maybe you don’t gaf!!! put you back in the ring you wanna try again!!!!!

ugh. okay. i mean, dazai did so much for you... y’know, when you lost your job and he insisted let you move in with him, dazai was trying to be a good friend, but... whatever, if you don’t need him anymore than you can just get your own place. oh, you still haven’t found a job? well, since you’re so sure of yourself, you can just get a new one. you can be out by tomorrow, right? you know dazai would’ve liked to go out and make friends during the time he’s been working to keep a roof above the both of your heads and keeping you company after everyone left you. maybe he’s starting to see why they did, since you’re so selfish— 

...

you decided not to go out!

that’s probably when he realizes he should begin moving your relationship along a bit quicker. he’ll flirt with you in the exact way he knows you respond to best (whether that's words of affirmation, teasing, physical touch, etc); he'll bring you back pastries and cute trinkets he saw on his way home from work… his courting is a little eerie, bc he also acts like you two are already dating???? "you're staying in my home, of course i assumed we'd be having dinner tonight. i even learned to cook your favorite— " like he 100% just assumes shit but it always works out bc . well, what else were you doing?

this includes sharing a bed btw. he probably started w having you take his and he takes the couch (a true gentleman) and then maybe he gets another bed and makes a guest room for you... but, well, since you both are so close and it's so cold in his apartment, maybe you can just spend one night with him? It Was Not One Night

if you catch on and reciprocate, oh he's over the moon!!!! his love giving him affection? oughhh.. you're staying in his room in his arms and he's just breathing you in, reminding himself you're still there... it'd be actually kinda sweet if he didn't orchestrate this whole thing

if you catch on (or don't lmao) and deny him? .............

desperate times desperate measures or whatever they say

he locks you in his room for mandatory cuddles, will not give you food if you stick to one side of the room and refuse to let him hold you, he starts pulling away and spewing words he knows will hurt you so you feel so alone and unloved only to turn around and love bomb you.... it's horrific tbh

i'm so sorry . just... go along w it for now pls ❤️

also i mentioned that he'd bring up how you don't have a job and he's the one working hard to pay for your expenses but he's just being a brat. he caught you looking at help wanted ads one time and pretty much cried in your lap about how upset he is that you don't feel his care is adequate enough and only stopped when you promised not to get another job

he's gross :( get out of there

PM DAZAI ANON THAT WRITING WAS SO SWEET AND GOOD . whipped pathetic hopeless in love dazai is the only dazai tbh!!!! HES A LOSER AND WE SUPPORT HIM

UEHUSHFUSIE IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!! dazai soo pathetic wet cat losercore ,,, urg i hate him

hai deer :3 anon who made the aro dazai ask here, thank you for the food 🙏 it was everything i wanted and more 😩

anyway, wanted to wish you well on your essay! i hope school isnt beating your ass too hard, YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS !!!

also i was thinking of an emoji to give myself because i plan on pestering you for the near future ?? maybe 🩵, but anything you give me is fine

YAYYY glad you enjoyed!!! mmmm aro dazai good food

AND THANK YOU!!!!! i just turned it in so i'm back to answer requests :3 school isn't too bad when i have y'all to look forward to 😋 cheesy af my bad

YES you can be 🩵 ! my first emoji anon awooga i feel like a real tumblr writer now 💪🏻

miss you mom

MOM????????

Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You are unsure.

This is part of a series of standalone works about Nikolai Gogol. The rest can be found here including content warnings for each separate part.

general cw: yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry! "are unsure" cw: above + condescending manipulation (making decisions for you?), could be seen as kidnapping?

Pinned down onto Nikolai's couch, he sinks his teeth into you again and again, littering your skin with harsh bruises as he marks up your neck.

"Don't leave," he nearly growls, pressing gentle kisses over the bites.

You shift underneath him, shying away from his harshness. "Nikolai," comes out breathlessly, the sound catching in your throat as your hands grip his shirt tightly to try and keep yourself grounded.

The white-haired man looks at you beneath him as his hands clamp down on your waist, holding you tighter as he moves his lips to your shoulder. For a few moments, Nikolai plants kisses along your neck while you catch your breath. Just before you can fully calm down, his teeth are right back on your collarbone and biting down with reckless abandon.

"Stay," he growls once more, teeth digging in to send another batch of shockwaves all across your body.

You whimper beneath him, thrashing tirelessly under his hold. "Nooo!"

Hot breath against your skin and sharp teeth grazing your flesh overwhelms your senses, sending you into a spiral while his fingers trail up and down your arms gently. It's hard to soothe someone while also causing them pain, but Nikolai's ministrations lead to your thrashing subsiding, chest heaving up and down as you merely breathe against him.

"It hurts?" he asks hoarsely.

The only response he gets is a feverish nod. Your eyes are screwed shut as your hands fumble with his shirt, clenching and unclenching the black fabric. It's an attempt to ground yourself, but your stinging neck keeps it from fully working.

Nikolai looks down at you, his eyebrows raised as he slides his teeth against your neck again, this time applying only enough pressure to be noticeable, ghosting over your bruised and ruined skin.

Monotonously, he replies, "Then I won't stop," as though merely stating a fact and not deciding your fate. Your breath catches, holding it for a moment while he lets out a low growl of satisfaction.

An unwanted hiccup passes your lips, tears spilling from your eyes while squirming beneath him. The feeling of pain clouds your mind, your head spinning from the sensations he's causing.

"Keep struggling," he demands softly while his eyes flare with excitement.

"Niko...lai," you pant.

The man grins excitedly over you, seemingly taking this as a challenge as he increases his biting pressure. Nikolai's tongue licks around the areas he's previously bruised before his teeth sink into you just right, breath stopping again at the pain. The action happens twice more before he yanks on your hair, forcing your head to crane back to give him better access.

A yelp sounds from you as your grip tightens on Nikolai's shirt, knuckles turning paler as the fabric stretches under your hold. You whine out a pathetic pleeease, tears turning to big globs while squirming once again.

He doesn't let up though, choosing instead to slide his mouth down your neck in search of another sensitive spot.

With his teeth hovering over your shoulder, threatening to bite down once again, Nikolai whispers, "Tell me you'll stay.” His voice is soft, the gentle tone he uses making your mind hazy.

You hesitate contemplatively, trying to weigh your options. All you have to do is promise you'll stay and he'll stop, right? That's not such a bad trade. Why did you even want to leave again? He protects you, always doing things in your best interest, right? Sure, he's hurting you now, but it's only because you hurt him first when you tried to leave. If you had just stayed in the first place, this wouldn't have happened.

Honestly, this predicament is entirely your fault, isn't it?

"Wait," you still hesitate, feet moving back and forth to try and maintain blood flow as he continues to sit on your thighs. "I can't think," you gasp, tears still running off your cheeks. "I-I dunno!"

Nikolai wastes no time in biting as harshly as he can, a yell escaping your throat as you tug onto his shirt, accidentally bringing him closer for a moment. He pulls back after to stare down at you, eyes glaring nearly as harshly as the dig of his teeth a moment ago.

The glare drops into a look of adoration, a soft smile appearing on his face as well. "That's alright, dove," he speaks as sweetly as he looks at you, a hand resting gently on your cheek. "I can decide for you. That's what you want, right?"

Vision blurry from tears, your hands slowly relax against his shirt, the fabric now bunched up and stretched out as you move to hold his shoulders. Instead of replying, you merely wait for him to continue.

And he does, never one to stay quiet for long when he has something to prove. Right now, all Nikolai wants to do is prove you're his - it's all he's wanted to do since you tried to leave.

"My perfect, precious dove - sometimes it's hard to think for yourself. I understand. And I'm kind enough to recognize that you weren't in your right mind earlier," he punctuates his words a light kiss to the tip of your nose. Smiling down at you in a condescending form of understanding, one of his hands trails over the marks he left. It causes you to flinch, squirming for a moment beneath him as his feather-like touches still cause each bite to sting.

"They say opposites attract, right? My dove has never longed for freedom. That's why your little speech earlier about how you want to leave me left me surprised. But of course, that's not really what you want, is it? You just wanted to ruffle my feathers, get me all possessive." Nikolai sighs, still staring at you with adoration. "My perfect dove. You know I love teasing, but you're mighty cruel. Though I suppose I was, as well..."

A frown settles on Nikolai's lips, the guilt he's tried so hard to fight off settling in. "Okay, dove. I'll stop. We can be done for today." His voice is low as he speaks, soft and gentle as he presses another light kiss to your forehead.

While looking down at you, he delicately taps the tip of your nose after plastering on his adoring smile once more. "Let's get you cleaned up," he whispers. "I'll get the first aid kit. Stay here, okay?"

And you do.

stop just read your dazai kisses one it’s so cute but the beastzai one fucked me up. awful. gut wrenching i have such a soft spot for him

hejdshfueh i wrote it with a permanent frown on my face. i can no longer smile.

thanks sm anon!!!! glad you enjoyed :)